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| Photo by ZoofyTheJi |
It is not really true that I am lost for words. I could write about Robbie's missing pants (again), he got so wound up about two missing pairs of black pants yesterday. One pair wasn't missing at all, they were folded in the pile of laundry that I had taken up to the bedroom the previous evening. Apparently I hadn't folded them correctly and on the way to the station he patiently explained how to fold his underwear and amazingly he survived - I must be mellowing in my old age! The other pair of favourite pants were not far away either, he 'found' them this morning and stood there waving them at me triumphantly in the style of a bull fighter - it isn't the best sight first thing in the morning!
I could write about the roof leaking when we had torrential rain last Saturday night. It dripped through the ceiling on to Robbie's side of the bed, it ruined some of his precious railway books and it spoiled the covers of some of his vinyl records. He was so angry about it. After rescuing his things and finding a container to catch the water he stormed off to sleep on the sofa and I was left wide awake worrying about how much it is going to cost to fix the roof. It will be a huge amount because it will require scaffolding.
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| Photo by Laura Jones |
What I really want to write about is how much I love Robbie and how useless I feel sometimes. I am not a soppy, sentimental sort of person but I do care deeply about him and I have been terribly worried by the level of pain that he has been experiencing in recent months. Pain is exhausting and constant pain can be really lowering because it affects everything you do and it changes the way you feel about yourself. Robbie is so strong and so determined to be 'normal' (in his own unique way) but it gets him down when his back hurts and his legs misbehave. I can't take his pain away but I can be strong and help him to accept the need for more effective long term pain management. I can make sure he takes his tablets and help him to cope with the rather unpleasant side effects. The tablets make him very tired, waking him up in the morning is like trying to raise the dead. Sometimes he gets very cross with me and he has been known to tell me to go away in no uncertain terms, but I don't take too much notice of that. One way or another we will get through this. It will take a long time and a lot of trial and error to find the correct medication and the correct dose to manage the pain without devastating side effects. I need to be strong, I will not let him give up.
Don't worry, I am not going to give you too much information and there certainly will not be a photo! After Robbie's recent problems with itchy and irritated legs we have finally found a solution. Having researched the matter on the internet it seemed that sports underwear may provide offer some protection from the irritating fabric of his suit. So Thursday morning found me at a large sports store having an excruciatingly embarrassing conversation about the correct size to buy with a male assistant who looked implausibly young. I bought the said garment, just one pair as they were scarily expensive and I wasn't sure that they would work. Robbie wasn't too sure at first, but having showed off his new knickers to my son he decided to give them a try. Our son says he will need years of therapy to recover!! On Friday Robbie rang me to say that he was in underwear heaven, apparently the new 'smalls' are perfect, like a second skin. We have now ordered more pairs, so I hope we will hear a lot less about sore legs in the coming weeks.
AOL seems to be suffering from disappearing posts, the post I left yesterday and the message left on a previous post mysteriously vanished. My post yesterday was about my frustration with my car. As most readers will know by now my Ford Galaxy is the curse of my life. It is only four years old but in that time I have practically rebuilt it, in fact I have almost spent the equivalent of the purchase price on repairs to the car. This time it was at the garage because of a horrible vibrating noise when making sharp turns (especially when reversing on to the drive). Having already spent a fortune replacing everything related to the power steering, I was disappointed that the problem still persisted. On close investigation the garage found a problem with the only original bit of the drive shaft, as well as several other problems. After a week at the garage the drive shaft was done and the car should have been ready to collect on Monday, but a rusted bolt got stuck half in and half out and it had gone smooth so that the allen key could not grasp it. It was in such an awkward position and so badly designed that everyone was stumped; after sleeping on the problem the mechanic felt a drastic, destructive and dangerous solution seemed the only way forward and by the end of Tuesday the car was finally ready. I was full of hope and felt sure that after this much time and expense (it cost £700 this time) the car would be perfect. I drove home, reversed on to the drive and there was the same horrible noise, every bit as bad as before. I feel totally defeated by it.
The car is in full working order again, that's more than I can say for my bank balance, the car cost nearer to £500 than £400!! It was the power steering and several associated parts. The mechanic saved the old parts to show me, I can't believe such insignificant little bits can cost so much. At least I now have a garage that treats me like a human being and gets the work done quickly so I mustn't moan too much.
We had a lovely day at my mum's yesterday, we had a family day to say goodbye to Emily before she goes off to university. As always my mum thought she was catering for a multitude and there was far too much food. Even Robbie left food on his plate at lunch time and that is very rare indeed. Robbie has been a bit out of sorts over the weekend, he fell over on Friday and as well as hurting himself it made him very cross with himself. Just to make matters worse I have been continuing with the reorganisation of the kitchen cupboards and Robbie hates change - unless it is him doing the changing! My greatest transgression was apparently to buy a new tea towel that cost the huge sum of £1 and is slightly different to our usual ones. He claims not to like it, but it does the job and I suspect his real objection is that he didn't choose it. I guess you have to be a bit obsessive to do the sort of job that Robbie does, but this is ridiculous!
