Money Makes the World Go Around

I wasn't so concerned about the world going around, thanks to Robbie it was me who was going around in ever decreasing circles. He had an appointment somewhere north of here (I forgot to ask exactly where, but it involved heading towards Birmingham on a train). I altered my usual Monday routine so that I could drop him at the station at the time he wanted. I came back to the house to pick him up and he told me that he was ready, he just had to put his boots on, so I went out and waited in the car. Robbie turned up a few minutes later and I drove him to the station. He said a cheery goodbye and trundled off to buy a coffee for his journey and I drove back across town to the supermarket.

I parked the car in the supermarket car park and as I walked across to get a trolley I opened my handbag to get a pound coin out of my purse. My heart sank, there in my handbag was Robbie's wallet!! I turned around and went back to the car, I sent Robbie a text to let him know I was heading back to the station. I thought it would take me about half an hour to return the wallet and get back to the supermarket, after all Robbie couldn't go anywhere without money to buy a ticket. How wrong I was!! Baldrick Burgess had apparently bought his ticket for today's trip at the end of last week when he was at the station. So, when I arrived back at Northamptom station Robbie was just arriving at Rugby! I had to sit and wait, getting increasingly irritated while he travelled back from Rugby.

Finally he arrived looking very sheepish, I reunited him with his wallet and dashed back to the supermarket. I rushed around gathering the essentials in my trolley, but I didn't have time to do a proper shop because it was almost time for me to go to work. Men!! 

10 Ways to be Wicked

I am used to all sorts of weird and not so wonderful suggestions finding their way to the junk folder of my email account. Several emails each week invite me to part with obscene amounts of money in order to enlarge my 'manhood'. They obviously know nothing about me! My mum made absolutely sure that I understood that a woman can do anything better than a man, because we take time to read the instructions! She is now a sprightly and determined 81 year old who can run rings around people half her age. Only a couple of weeks ago she announced that she has always been able to touch her toes with her hands flat on the floor and she would not going to give up doing so now, then just for good measure she gave a demonstration!


Today I received an email addressed to Robbie claiming to be from a regular blog reader suggesting that an article s/he had just written would dovetail well with the interests of those who read the blog. One look at the title, something along the lines of  '10 Ways to be Wicked' showed me that it certainly was not something I wished to publicise. In any case 10 ways seems rather limiting, I am sure Robbie could think of 110 ways!!


Robbie provoked an interesting discussion on facebook   with his appreciative comments about Shameless, one of his favourite television programmes. He referred to it as 'class', I don't watch it but I couldn't resist challenging him on that point, surely it is the very opposite of 'class'. I was pleased to find that there were one or two people who agreed with me. I know it is not real but I don't want to watch a fictional portrayal of the dregs of society failing as parents and most importantly of all failing as parents. I am not one for unnecessary rules and rituals but it troubles me that standards in this country seem to be eroding faster than our coastline. How hard is it for people to say please and thank you, to eat quietly with their mouth closed and to be aware that their behaviour can impact adversely on other people. It must be obvious that playing music through a mobile phone without headphones drives other people mad (especially on the bus or train). It must be obvious that holding a phone conversation while going through the supermarket checkout is downright rude and irritating to others in the queue who are being held up. So I must assume that people know that their actions are thoughtless, but they just don't care and that troubles me greatly. When I was little my grandma would occasionally tell me not to do something such as 'don't sit on the radiator or you will get piles' or 'don't pull faces, if the wind changes you will stay like that'. Once in a while I would dare to tell her that I didn't care and her response was always the same 'don't care brings care'. She may have been wrong about the piles but I think she was right that not caring has consequences.

Acceptance of prevailing standards often means we have no standards of our own. (Jean Toomer)

Finding the Magic of Christmas

I often think that we have got it all wrong when it comes to Christmas we get so tied up with buying presents and   Christmas food becomes an ordeal from start to finish - shopping for it, to storing it, cooking it and digesting it! Despite all my good intentions Christmas crept up on me and I was as disorganised as ever. I had been stashing presents away for months, just little things for Robbie, he is a big kid when it comes to Christmas and it makes me so happy to watch him opening his presents. I had been reasonably organised about presents for other family members, our children provide lists now, so that's easy and buying for my young niece and nephews is a pleasure. Finding the money is a bit more of a challenge, but that is the same for everyone. 


The bits of Christmas that I find challenging include getting the Christmas tree and decorations out of the loft, putting the tree up - and tidying up the mess afterwards! Arguing about where best to put the tree and acting as referee in the annual argument about whose turn it is to have their angel on top of the tree this year. The food shopping is probably the biggest headache, affording it, making sure that we have enough food while trying not to buy so much that it will be wasted. It is just such an effort tackling the supermarket, unloading the shopping and packing it into the fridge and freezer. Then I have to cope with Robbie huffing and puffing because the fridge is not packed correctly and things are in the wrong place in the freezer. Last but not least is wrapping, I quite like wrapping up presents but suddenly everything has to be wrapped at once and however well prepared I think I am, I find that someone has 'borrowed' the scissors, or the sellotape - or both!


This year was like every other year,  by Christmas morning I was exhausted and it was a real struggle to get up and join in the fun of present opening, but the excitement of gift giving works it's magic and memories of other Christmas mornings fill my mind, distant memories of my own childhood when Santa always left shiny new coins at the bottom of my stocking. Then there are the special Christmas memories of my own children when they were little. One daughter asked Santa to bring her a sheep - that was one Christmas wish that didn't come true. There was the time when I was filming both daughters singing Christmas carols for their grandma and the little one (age 4) kept stopping to tell her older sister off for singing her part, it was so funny. My favourite memory of my son at Christmas was when he was a shepherd in the nativity play, he was 3 or 4 at the time and he walked up to Mary and Joseph swinging his knitted lamb around by by it's tail!


Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories gather and dance - each beautiful, unique and too soon gone. ~Deborah Whipp

In the end the food and the presents don't matter so much, it is being together that counts, family time taking pleasure in the special people around us. Christmas may be hard work but this year just as every other year, sharing the day with all the people I love made it all worthwhile.

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.

The words of the Swedish proverb used in the title are very true, but sadly the worries that have been haunting us and prevent me from keeping up with the blog  in recent days cast a very big shadow indeed because the situation has potentially devastating consequences. Robbie has received a demand from CSA/CMEC for payment of almost £17,000 arrears! The alleged arrears date from a period from 1998 to 2001 when he was still living with his ex partner (they even had a joint bank account!) but despite having an open case with CSA (and paying diligently) since 2002 when he and his partner split up, he had never been made aware of these alleged arrears. It is proving almost impossible to prove where he lived in 1998 since even employment records and bank records do not go back that far. The trouble is that CSA do not need to prove the arrears, he has to prove that he doesn't owe it, in the meantime CSA can use all the considerable powers at their disposal to take the money. It is very very scary, we simply haven't got that sort of money so the future looks very bleak. Our MP is helping us, but it is a very worrying time.

Lost For Words

Photo by ZoofyTheJi

It is not really true that I am lost for words. I could write about Robbie's missing pants (again), he got so wound up about two missing pairs of black pants yesterday. One pair wasn't missing at all, they were folded in the pile of laundry that I had taken up to the bedroom the previous evening. Apparently I hadn't folded them correctly and on the way to the station he patiently explained how to fold his underwear and amazingly he survived - I must be mellowing in my old age!  The other pair of favourite pants were not far away either, he 'found' them this morning and stood there waving them at me triumphantly in the style of a bull fighter - it isn't the best sight first thing in the morning! 


I could write about the roof leaking when we had torrential rain last Saturday night. It dripped through the ceiling on to Robbie's side of the bed, it ruined some of his precious railway books and it spoiled the covers of some of his vinyl records. He was so angry about it. After rescuing his things and finding a container to catch the water he stormed off to sleep on the sofa and I was left wide awake worrying about how much it is going to cost to fix the roof. It will be a huge amount because it will require scaffolding. 

Photo by Laura Jones

What I really want to write about is how much I love Robbie and how useless I feel sometimes. I am not a soppy, sentimental sort of person but I do care deeply about him and I have been terribly worried by the level of pain that he has been experiencing in recent months. Pain is exhausting and constant pain can be really lowering because it affects everything you do and it changes the way you feel about yourself. Robbie is so strong and so determined to be 'normal' (in his own unique way) but it gets him down when his back hurts and his legs misbehave. I can't take his pain away but I can be strong and help him to accept the need for more effective long term pain management. I can make sure he takes his tablets and help him to cope with the rather unpleasant side effects. The tablets make him very tired, waking him up in the morning is like trying to raise the dead. Sometimes he gets very cross with me and he has been known to tell me to go away in no uncertain terms, but I don't take too much notice of that. One way or another we will get through this. It will take a long time and a lot of trial and error to find the correct medication and the correct dose to manage the pain without devastating side effects. I need to be strong, I will not let him give up.

Magic Fingers

I am very reluctant to mention the F word (Ford) because even just thinking about that car costs me a fortune. The key to the Galaxy is misbehaving, it plays me up when I try to lock it remotely, but it unlocks perfectly, the battery must be going. The last time I had key trouble it cost me an arm and a leg so I have been putting off the evil moment and just managing with a wayward key, after all it is not the only annoying thing in my life! The odd thing is that Robbie can usually get the key to work for him! I watched him on Saturday standing there waving the key at the car with such a look of concentration that he reminded me of Harry Potter ready to use the unlocking spell Alohomora. It is so frustrating, why does it work for him and not for me!!

I Don't Believe It!

To borrow a phrase from Victor Meldrew, I don't believe it, I really don't believe it! Just when you think your life is much too difficult, another problem pops up and brings everything to a complete standstill. On Monday morning I took Emily to the other side of town to start her new job, all seemed to be going well, we got there in good time and after wishing her luck I headed home. It began to rain - that irritating sort of rain that forces you to keep turning the wipers on and off. There was not enough rain for the intermittent wiper function to be useful but it was still necessaries to keep clearing the screen. Suddenly the wiper flickered and then stayed firmly stuck in 'ground old Duke of York position (half way between up and down).

I got home and tried everything I could think of to rectify the problem. Nothing worked, so I had to make an emergency dash to see my mechanic. What I thought would be a quick repair turned into an over night job with a bill to match. I was car-less, but my step father saved the day by lending me his car over night.The Galaxy needed a new wiper motor and new linkage, but when my mechanic found out how much the new parts were he sent them back and set about making the most of the parts that were causing trouble. after stripping it all down and cleaning everything up he coaxed the wipers back to life. It still cost £170 because Ford insist on burying all their parts in impossibly tight locations, so it takes loads of time and effort to get at them. I hope this is more than a short term fix because new parts will cost about £700 and with labour on top it would be around £900!! I have had a stern word with the car, and warned it that it's days are numbered! I really hope no other problems rear their ugly head for a few weeks.

More Wandering Wallets

The strangest thing happened yesterday, my phone rang and I thought it was Robbie ringing to apologise for being totally out of order the previous evening. It wasn't him, it was the police asking to speak to my late husband. I took over his mobile number and I still occasionally get calls from recruitment companies and such like so I asked who it was before explaining that he was dead. The policeman was more than a little surprised and told me that his wallet had been found dropped in a shop door way. This was more than a little disconcerting, I was afraid that someone had stolen his identity or something dubious was going on. To cut a long story short the policeman came to see me and it turned out to be Sam's wallet, he had his dad's business card and private health insurance card in it. Having provided suitable proof and signed the policeman's notebook the wallet was returned to me complete with the £20 that had been in it. It is nice to think that there are still some honest people around. Losing wallets is becoming a bit of a habit with the men of the house, I don't think they are safe to be allowed out on their own!

Fighting a Losing Battle

Sometimes I feel that I am fighting a losing battle, every day I do several loads of washing but we appear to have a self filling laundry basket and however much I do there is still more waiting. There is an unwritten rule that any money that turns up in the washing pile goes into my money jar. Usually it is the odd coin from Sam's pocket (why do boys trousers have so many pockets these days?) but on Sunday I found that Robbie had decided to go one step further in the money laundering stakes. He had left a £5 note in his shirt pocket and it emerged from the washing machine damp but intact, I wasn't allowed to keep it for my jar, but at least it didn't stain the shirt.

On the subject of laundry, Robbie hasn't adapted well to doing his own ironing, in fact on several occasions I have come down to be confronted by a vision of Homer Simpson in his pants busy ironing a shirt – it is not the best start to the day! I think a week of doing his own shirts has made him more appreciative. I spoke to him about it at the weekend and he squirmed when I reminded him what he had said the week before. I decided to give him another chance as far as the ironing is concerned, but if he complains again I will starch his smalls!

Not So Hidden Secrets 10.03.08

Some people are so careless about what they leave in their pockets and at the bottom of abandoned carrier bags. I always make a profit on the laundry, I put all the lost coins in a jar to boost our spending money when we go on holiday. I check carefully, but it is surprising how often a tissue sneaks into the wash, it's so frustrating because it takes ages to get all the bits off!

This morning I was sorting out the hall, to be honest it looked more like Steptoe's yard than a hall. Why do people abandon shoes, coats and bags all over the place, in fact why do they need so many bags and pairs of shoes in the first place? Having plodded up and down stairs delivering Sam and Laura's belongs to their rooms I was left with a selection of Robbie's bags, there was the casual rucksack, the laptop bag containing his old computer, his retired briefcase which he can't bear to part with, then there was a suit cover and a couple of carrier bags. On closer investigation I found that one carrier bag contained Robbie's (still dirty) travel mug and a magazine, the other proved more interesting it contained an opened package, lots of bubble wrap and a receipt - another accidental purchase perhaps? It turned out to be a very recent receipt for a very expensive (and unauthorised) item, two items in fact, two model railway carriages! £55 for two carriages!! Oh well, it looks as if he has bought his own birthday present, at least it has saved me a job!