Every path hath a puddle - George Herbert

When I was thinking of a title for this blog post the quotation above seemed to to be a perfect fit, not least because this week began with a wet and miserable Monday. The cold wet morning came as quite a surprise after an unusually warm September and a surprisingly mild and sunny start to October. It was our ninth wedding anniversary on Saturday and we spent the weekend in Exeter. The choice of destination was a compromise, I had suggested a number of possible places to visit, but Robbie found fault with each one. At first I thought he was just being difficult but it didn't take me long to work out that Baldrick Burgess had a cunning plan to fit in a journey on an HST and he was going to veto every destination until I chose a place that suited his plan. I didn't mind too much, I'm not a fan of HSTs but it's not too much of a hardship and it gives Robbie a lot of pleasure. I didn't appreciate having to get up before the birds, but time together is precious and we were determined to enjoy the weekend to the full.

Robbie at our anniversary meal in Exeter

I like train journeys for many reasons, but perhaps more than anything else I value the thinking time and conversation. It is rare for either of us to sit still for so long with no demands on our time, and it is nice to be still and enjoy having time to chat. As it was our anniversary it is hardly surprising that we were in reflective mood. In a way marrying Robbie was an act of madness, we are a bit of an odd couple and I think a few of our friends doubted our sanity. For me the biggest commitment had been made a year earlier, exactly a year earlier in fact, in the first days of October ten years ago. Robbie and I had been together for just a few months when circumstances took a sudden and surprising turn. He rang me one morning in a state of great agitation, he had just been informed that he needed to take responsibility for his children on a full time basis starting that day. He had a one bedroom flat, which was large enough for his children to stay overnight with him once or twice a week, but it would have proved too cramped and ill equipped for a longer stay and it looked as if the children would be with him for several months. I didn't hesitate, the obvious solution was for them to come to me and so by that evening our three children each had become a blended family of six children. 

There were problems of course, but remarkably few, the children got on well and the Burgess children made the transition to a new school with little difficulty. Coping with six children was a very exhausting experience for me (and for Robbie) but I found it extremely rewarding. At the time my step children were 13, 9 and 5, each one was different but very like Robbie in their various ways. His son often asked to come with me in the car when I went to pick up my daughters from their music lessons or band practice. He was a gentle, thoughtful lad with a lovely nature; he loved to chat and like Robbie he was interested in a vast array of subjects. He shared my keen interest in history and like Robbie he had a passion for films and an eclectic taste in music. We had some fascinating conversations and he enjoyed listening to my music CDs. Robbie's older daughter was a clever and determined nine year old, who seemed older than her years. Like her older step sisters she enjoyed clothes and accessories and she had very firm opinions about what she should wear, in fact she had strong opinions about almost everything. She could be quite outspoken at times, and like Robbie tact wasn't her strong point - her disapproval when we were not having one of her favourite meals was expressed eloquently with just a look and a sigh. Even at age nine it was clear that she had the potential to do well in whatever she chose to do with her life. 

The five year old girl was like a miniature version of Robbie in every way, she looked even more like him than her brother (her sister is much more like her mum) and she had Robbie's ready smile and wicked sense of humour. There was a certain quirkiness about the little girl, she wasn't going to be like everyone else, even at five she had the confidence to be herself whether people liked it or not. I remember taking her to see my elderly aunt one day, my aunt had always enjoyed the company of children and it didn't surprise me that the two of them were soon engrossed in conversation. I popped into the kitchen to put the kettle on and I returned to hear the little girl ask my aunt why she used a walking stick. My aunt explained that she had a poorly hip and she needed the stick to keep her steady. The five year old gave her a thoughtful look and then she asked "couldn't you just try harder?". Clearly she had inherited Robbie's tendency to be a little too direct at times. She had also inherited his strong will and stubbornness, but I had a feeling that these would be a strength rather than a weakness. I already cared deeply about Robbie, and it didn't take long for me to become attached to these bright, lively children who were so like him in their different ways. The months that followed were exhausting and at times noisy and chaotic, but they were happy and all the children thrived. 

So by the following year when Robbie and I married we had already been through an eventful and at times challenging year. It was still a big decision to get married, but we knew that we were strong and that we could cope with the ups and downs of life. We were different in so many ways which made some people think that we were a very odd couple. Perhaps they were right, we’re unconventional certainly, but it works! It hasn't always been easy, we have encountered plenty of challenges over the years, but together we have coped and it has made us stronger. Our lives are still very busy, and Robbie often has to stay away from home on business, so we take time to have fun and to enjoy life whenever we can. We had a lovely trip to Exeter, we stayed in a very nice hotel just a stones throw from the station and it was mild enough for me to have the window open to listen to the sounds of the railway throughout our stay - perfect! 

Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look at what they can do when they stick together.

It snowed again on Sunday and by lunch time the roads were grim, so once again the snow dictated that we would not be going very far. My son and daughters decided to get the sledge out and enjoy the snow. They spent a happy but very cold afternoon at our local park going up and down the hills on their sledge as they have done so many times before during their childhood. In fact my brother and I enjoyed sledging in the park when we were young and probably many generations before us did so too.

Robbie and I occupied ourselves with more mundane tasks, clearing snow, sorting the car out and putting more grit down in a vain attempt to keep the path and the driveway clear. We took the car for a short drive to keep it going (I don't want a flat battery again!) but at least we managed to enjoy a quick coffee while we  were out. 

Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to. ~ Mark Twain

My stepfather David often jokes that you have to take Robbie everywhere twice, the second time to apologise! It isn't true of course, Robbie can be a bit excitable at times, but he is good company and well behaved. My son is fond of Robbie, but being a teenager disapproval is part of his job description and Robbie and I are frequent targets of his displeasure - he seems to think that we are embarrassing!

A couple of months ago he got a new girlfriend (my son, not Robbie!) and he was rather anxious about introducing her to us. She is lovely, I met her several times before Christmas, but my son decided to wait until after Christmas to introduce her to Robbie and his sisters. He was convinced that one of us would embarrass him - and he was probably right, but he is too easily embarrassed!

Finally after warning us yet again to be on our best behaviour he decided that the time had come to introduce her to Robbie so we arranged to take them out for lunch today. We went to Buddies American Diner in Kingsthorpe, Robbie likes it there because they have a train that runs around above our heads on a suspended loop. He couldn't resist pointing out that it was a 'misfit' because the engine was an old German engine but the wagons and caboose were American, but I managed to guide him away from the subject of trains. It went very well, we enjoyed our meal, Robbie was moderately well behaved and I only caused my son to squirm with embarrassment once or twice.

When one jumps over the edge, one is bound to land somewhere.

“When one jumps over the edge, one is bound to land somewhere.” – D. H. Lawrence

I found this quote while I was looking for something completely different. It stayed in my mind because it because it evokes an interesting image. It is self evident that a person who jumps over the edge will land somewhere, but it is not very reassuring. Most of us like a little more certainty, we need to know where we are heading. Taking a leap into the unknown is very scary but sometimes it is the right thing to do.


According to the National Trust young people are missing out on childhood adventures because they are not getting outside. In order to get children outdoors and to encourage a spirit of adventure they have come up with a list of 50 things to do before you are 11¾.

OK, I know it is a bit late for me, but it is an interesting list. I have done most of the things on the list and I had almost certainly ticked off most of them before the age of 11¾, I was a bit of a tomboy. There are a couple of things that I would add to the list. Shelling peas - and finding the occasional wriggling maggot inside. Making a den among the bales in the hay barn, that one is a lot harder these days because we don't have small bales any more, and it would almost certainly be contravene health and safety regulations.


The list led me to think of things that I should do before I get too old to manage it or too forgetful to remember it. I found all sorts of suggestions on the internet, but nothing really captured my imagination. Perhaps I have already got all the wacky, wild and weird things out of my system, or perhaps I am just plain boring. I think having Robbie in my life brings enough craziness to last a lifetime!I commented to my son that it would be fun to be an embarrassment to my children just once in my life. He gave me a long stare, raised one eyebrow and informed me that I could already tick that one off my list! 

I have no great desire to travel or to achieve anything spectacular. It would be nice to have a tidy house, that has been a work in progress for the last 20 years! Perhaps I will achieve it before I die. It would be nice to be debt free, another work in progress, at least the end of the mortgage is not too many years ahead. Robbie have always talked about having a VW camper van when we are older, it would give us the freedom to go wherever the mood takes us. Knowing Robbie we would never stray far from the railway. I have always dreamed of spending a whole summer (or even longer) by the sea. Perhaps that dream will come true one day, who knows. It is nice to dream, but long as my family are happy, healthy and safe I will be content. 

Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together - Vista M. Kelly

Saturday afternoon brought snow, not just a flurry that didn't last, this was the determined kind that intended to stay. I'm not fond of snow because it makes all the ordinary but essential things such as going to work and shopping for food more difficult to do. By Sunday morning our world was covered in 4 inches of white and my car was lost under a shroud of snow. It took nearly 15 minutes to clean it off and get ready to drive. It was a bit of a challenge to get off the drive (and a bigger challenge to get back on) the side roads were a bit scary, but once I got on to the main roads it was OK.


I have to admit that a covering of snow makes our world look beautiful, and other members of the family had great fun in the snow.

The future lies before you, like paths of pure white snow. Be careful how you tread it, for every step will show 

(author unknown)