A women who doesn't wear perfume has no future - Coco Chanel

Since the new year I have been writing in my Question and Answer Journal every day. The questions seem very simple but when you attempt answer them you find that they have hidden depth. 

Today's question was simple enough 'What is your favourite accessory?' but when I asked other members of my family I found that everyone had a definition of accessory. In the end I decided that accessories include bags, jewellery, belts, sun glasses, hats, scarves, gloves etc. My daughter (who rivals Imelda Marcos when it comes to shoes) insists that shoes are accessories, but for me they are more functional so I did not include them in my definition of an accessory.

Even when I had decided what counts as an accessory I still couldn't answer the question. Usually I don't really bother with accessories, I am a very practical down to earth sort of person and I mostly think of clothes as functional more than fashionable. My handbag is important to me but it is a necessity rather than an accessory. I have a couple of other handbags in my wardrobe but I hardly ever change bags because it is far too complicated - on the other hand my daughter changes her handbag to suit her outfit. I have one or two necklaces that I like and sometimes I wear a broach but they are not exactly favourite accessories. When it comes to jewellery my wedding ring and my eternity ring are my most treasured possessions, but they are far to precious to be thought of as accessories. So having eliminated the other things, the choice was easy, my perfume is my favourite accessory.

If I asked Robbie the same question he would probably provide me with a very long list of favourites. It would not surprise me if a bag was close to the top of the list, Robbie loves man bags, rucksacks, briefcases, in fact he loves bags and wallets of all kinds.Then he would have to consider his cufflinks, he loves cufflinks and has lots of favourites among his large collection but if he had to select just one pair I think he would perhaps choose the Lego ones.

Everyone is the age of their heart ~ Guatemalan Proverb

Most people say that my mum and I are not alike at all. She loves to shop but I don't, she loves clothes and fashion but I am not interested in clothes at all, she likes bright colours while I prefer blues and greys, she loves to go out but I prefer to stay in. People who know us better know that if you ignore the superficial differences we are very similar. We both have a steely determination, family comes first for both of us, neither of us suffer fools gladly and we both have a bit of a reputation for 'telling it as it is', in fact we can both be a but scary when the need arises! 

My mum is 82 years young and she still likes to shop until she drops, or to be more accurate until I drop! My daughter (who is 21) has taken her shopping a few times recently and after an afternoon shopping with Grandma she has arrived home absolutely exhausted. The last time they went clothes shopping together Grandma arrived home with lots of new clothes including two pairs of skinny jeans, one red and one deep pink!

My mum and Robbie are allies when it comes to clothes and shoes. They don't have the same tastes but they both love bright colours and they both like to be a bit different, they don't slavishly follow fashion but they love clothes and they share a passion for shoes. The other day Robbie wore his new waxed canvas Dr Marten boots when we went to see mum and she said that she would like to have a look at the Doc Shop. I was rather surprised, but Robbie jumped at the chance of another visit to the Doc Shop and a shopping trip was arranged.

So this morning we picked my mum up and took the scenic route past Castle Ashby and on through Grendon to Wollaston and the Doc Shop. I didn't think that my mum would like anything but it wouldn't have been a wasted journey because I needed to exchange a pair of shoes that I bought last weekend. My prediction was wrong, my mum loved the Doc Shop, she bought two pairs of shoes and a pair of boots! In fact it took me all my time to persuade her not to buy a pair of bright yellow 1461s - I am not a fan of yellow! She bought a pair of high mauve wedges, a pair of deep pink loafers and a pair of suede boots knee length boots. I think I will have two people nagging me to take them to the Doc Shop from now on!

When we finished at the Doc Shop we drove to Philadelphus Jeyes at Earls Barton. Mum loved having a look around at all the different departments, but most of all she enjoyed a welcome cup of tea and a snack at the Apothocoffee Shop. She bought a couple of new jigsaws, a recipe book, and a few other bits and bobs. I think she enjoyed her shopping trip.

Be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time of your life it may occur ~Muriel Spark

A Day in Cromer

We decided that we would get up early on Monday and drive to Cromer. The early bit didn't quite work out as planned, the Norfolk air must be getting to Robbie because he has lost all sense of urgency. Even when he'd had his shave and shower, he took an age to get dressed, then when he was finally dressed he put his shoes on in slow motion - how long can it possibly take to put two shoes on!

When we got to Cromer Robbie found a hotspot and he took the chance to upload a lot of photos to Facebook. Mobile phone and internet  reception in Norfolk leave a great deal to be desired, so Robbie was determined to make the most of the hotspot - while I waited! We enjoyed wandering around Cromer, but Robbie kept vanishing, one minute he would be next to me then I would turn around to see him darting off to take yet another photo of a bus. They all look the same to me, but I don't tell Robbie that otherwise he would explain the differences in far more detail than I could cope with.

We enjoyed looking at books and jigsaws in Jarolds and our favourite book shop behind the church. We bought one or two things but we were quite restrained by Robbie's standards. It was another lovely warm, sunny day so we strolled towards the sea front. I must have taken countless photos of the pier over the years, but I couldn't resist taking more because it really is a splendid pier. When we had seen all we wanted of Cromer we drove back to Walcott in time to stroll on the beach and enjoy the garden.

If the shoe fits, buy it in every color! Author Unknown

Robbie abandoned me again on Wednesday because he'd had a better offer. How can I possibly compete with  his beloved trains, especially when it is something a bit unusual that can't be put off until another day. It would have been nice to have spent the day with him, but he bribed me with the promise that if I let him go he would take me out for lunch on Thursday. I had a nice time without him, I visited one of my favourite shops (but I didn't spend too much!) then I went to the park with my daughter. We bought an ice cream from the van, Gallone's make the best ice cream in the world! It was lovely in the shade of the big horse chestnut trees, we watched the children in the playground and reminisced about how much better the playground equipment used to be before 'health and safety' spoil the fun. She will be 21 in a couple of weeks, I couldn't help smiling when she said that things were so much better in 'her day'. I wonder how she will feel when she is my age.

Robbie kept his promise and took me out for a carvery lunch, it was lovely. We ate outside in a shady spot in the garden, after all those weeks of rain it is lovely to have some sunshine. I waited until after lunch to break the news to him that the cats had scratched his Dr Marten boots! His initial reaction was calm, especially when I offered to take him to the Doc Shop. He was over the moon with his new purchases, some English made pink shoes and some English made black 1461s with yellow stitching. He was more vocal when he got home and spoke to the cat, he called him a fat, furry, fatherless feline (among other things!).

Putting a Smile on His Face

I remember my dad telling me that if my grandma needed cheering up (or buttering up) a new hat was the order of the day.  I don't think she ever went out without a hat; she may have influenced me in many ways, but I wasn't built for hats, the only hat that I have worn willingly is a riding hat! A hat would be the very last thing to cheer me up!

There are many things that put a smile on Robbie's face and shoes are close to the top of the list. He really should be grinning like a Cheshire cat because by my calculations he has six new pairs this year! Four pairs of Dr Martens and two pairs of Converse. His latest pair were delivered yesterday, a pair of low Converse All Star's. The colour is called 'Waterfall' which is very close to turquoise. They were a real bargain from the Office sale and they are intended to replace his light blue pair which have seen better days. He had already bought a pair to replace his red patterned Converse that are falling apart.  

The only bit that he hasn't got around to is throwing the old ones away. I reminded him of this and he agreed that he would throw them away. I was lulled into a false sense of security until he said "but I am going to keep the material ....". I thought he was joking at first, but he was absolutely serious. He plans to cut out and keep the material from his smelly old shoes! OK I admit that they are not smelly, but seriously why on earth would he want to save bits of old shoe! I blame his railway friends for putting crackpot ideas into his head, they have some very weird habits. He told me the other day about someone who collects bits of moquette from old train seats, now that really is weird, it makes Robbie sound relatively normal!      

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors - Alice Walker

Today didn't start quite as well it should have. The alarm went off at 5am and I jumped into action, I shook Robbie awake and told him that it was already 5am and if he didn't hurry he would be late for his train. He turned over and said that he was getting up, there was no further action for a few moments, then he sat up 'zombie style' but he seemed to be still asleep. In those few moments my brain managed to catch up with the situation and I realised that it was Saturday! I told him that it was Saturday and I was very sorry for waking him up, he said "yes dear" and still in zombie mode he settled back into bed; he was instantly asleep. When we woke up at a more realistic hour for a Saturday Robbie had no recollection of the 5am episode.

A favourite pair of Robbie's Shoes

He came back to bed with a cup of tea for me (and a coffee for him) and announced that he wanted to show me some Dickies. I wasn't entirely sure what he was suggesting until he picked up my laptop and logged on to his favourite shoe website. Apparently the 'Dickies' in question were a particular type of canvas boots. Being Robbie he couldn't just look at one pair of shoes he showed me a whole selection of footwear that he would love to own. I guess he could be doing worse things than lusting after shoes, but our house isn't big enough to accommodate all his footwear.


Looking at the website led to a (very long) conversation about shoes he has known and loved. To be honest it was more of a monologue than a conversation. We had worked our way back to 1980s but I was spared further 'time travel' to his earlies footwear memories because he sent himself to sleep! I can't say it was the most exciting start to a Saturday morning, but seeing Robbie happy and relaxed makes me happy.  I was left feeling that some things are just meant to be. Robbie came to Northampton because of me, but what better place for someone with a passion for shoes, a bus ride away from the shoe museum and a stone's throw from the Doc Shop! 

Scary Shoes

Robbie enjoyed his birthday very much, it would have been nice to have him home a bit earlier, but things don't always work out as planned (especially when London Midland are involved!). We had a happy evening together and he was able to tell me all about his day, it seemed to involve a lot food so perhaps it is a good thing that birthdays only happen once a year! He had two breakfasts, a lovely lunch and his favourite meal in the evening, no wonder he was too full to have any birthday cake! So we decided to save the cake until today.

Life with Robbie is never dull, I have learnt to expect the unexpected, but last night I was lost for words. Watching Robbie try on his new Dr Martens was a surreal experience. He was wearing a white T-shirt and his favourite very bright and very baggy M&M design PJ bottoms when he decided to try on his new Dr Martens. The shoes are white with brown trim and in my opinion they are absolutely horrible, but Robbie fell in love with them and because I love him very much I bought them for him as an early birthday present. He sat for a little while just stroking and admiring the shoes, then he decided to try them on.


He deliberated about the colour of the laces for a few minutes, he asked if I thought the white or the brown laces would look best. It really made no difference, the shoes would still look horrible, but I chose brown, so Robbie decided on white. The shoes looked so wrong, the look was not helped by the black socks that he was wearing. Not to mention the M&M PJ bottoms. He walked up and down the lounge, one hand on his hip and asked me what I thought. I am rarely lost for words, but on this occasion I was speechless. What I was actually thinking was that he looked like a cross between Larry Grayson and Phil Mitchell, but perhaps it wasn't the moment to say so!

My heart sank when he announced that he would be wearing his new shoes to work today, I am not sure the railways are ready for a shock like that, but I couldn't change his mind. He is wearing them with jeans and a casual shirt, personally I think they are hideous but I will leave you to decide....... 

The Doc Shop

Robbie has been pestering me to take him to Wollaston  for for months, but I have been putting off the inevitable  because I knew that it would prove expensive and once he knew how near it was he would want to go every week! The cause of all this excitement is the Doc shop and everyone who knows Robbie will know about his passion for Dr Marten's, so Tuesday found us heading to the Doc Shop.


Robbie is a man of many passions (some would say too many!) and even more obsessions. In order to accommodate his interest in old railway architecture and to enable him to spot traces of long lost railway lines we took a contorted but attractive route to Wollaston. It also took us past Dunkley's Resturant a unique (and very good) restaurant with a railway theme built on the site of the old Castle Ashby station. 

When we got to the Doc Shop there was a nice large car park and a not very promising looking building. What looked like a side entrance was in fact the entrance to the shop and we made a rather doubtful entrance. We found that we had walked into a 'tardis', a large shop packed with Dr Martens of every possible colour and design. Robbie was bouncing around like Tigger when suddenly a bright yellow pair of boots caught his eye. I was so grateful when he found out that they didn't have his size! 

The next hour or so was taken up with Robbie trying on shoes and boots and falling in love with every pair he tried. In the end he settled for a very smart pair of black Chelsea boots, a purple pair of 1461 shoes and a pair of absolutely unspeakable shoes that he has forbidden me to discuss. I love him very much and I want him to have footwear that makes him feel good, it is not easy for him coping with pain and 'disobedient' legs, but I must have been mad to let him buy those - my only defence is that love is blind!! I am doing my best to persuade him that he should keep them in the box in mint condition as a collectors item, but that may be an uphill struggle! Anyway we left the shop having paid less than the price of one normal priced pair of Dr Martens and Robbie had a big grin on his face all the way home!

Memories of a Special Day

Robbie says that my memory is much better that his - that's probably because I don't stuff my head with train numbers, timetable information and assorted junk! I am better at remembering ordinary things. I can remember that October 4th 2005 was a nice sunny day, in fact I can even remember what colour socks Robbie wore on that day and what type of footwear he wore. It is not really surprising that I can remember the details of that day - it was the day that Robbie and I got married. Today is our sixth wedding anniversary, just an day really but it is nice to remember, so here are a few extracts from previous blog entries 


This was written on our first wedding anniversary


It is only just over a year since we got married, but it feels as if Robbie and I have been together forever because despite 'eccentricities' we get on incredibly well. There were lots of reasons why we didn't rush into getting married, but there was one major obstacle for Robbie - I wanted him to wear shoes! For any readers who don't know him, he always wears Dr Martens (because he has different sized feet). Eventually Robbie negotiated a deal re the shoes for the wedding. He would wear Dr Marten Oxford shoes for the big day and I would make no objection to him buying a new pair of purple Dr Marten boots. I wouldn't have minded him buying the boots anyway, but I let him think he had struck a tough bargain! He does make me laugh.


He was even brave enough to suggest that I should also wear Dr Marten's. Apparently they do make Dr Martens for women, but there is no way on earth that I was going to wear them for my wedding - or any other occasion. Robbie's boots are incredibly heavy, it would have been like getting married in diving boots, I wouldn't have been able to lift my feet up! My friend got married wearing an Arsenal top, I was tempted by that idea, but I don't think I was designed for sports wear!! 


This is why I remember the socks he wore


His taste in socks is almost as eclectic as his preference in shirts! He likes loud colours, and why settle for one loud colour when you can have loud stripes – he likes stripes! They even put in an appearance at our wedding. I have written before about the compromise we reached concerning Robbie wearing shoes rather than Dr Marten boots to get married. The little detail I had overlooked was the socks. On the day we were getting ready to leave the house when Robbie emerged wearing a very nice suit and bare feet. In his hand he carried a brand new rather noticeable pair of pink socks. There was no way that he was leaving the house in those, and after a forlorn attempt to fight his corner he headed back upstairs get some different socks. I thought nothing more about it until we were asked to sit down during the ceremony. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Robbie’s immaculate shoes and his hideous socks – they were clashing stripes of different blues. I have held a grudge against those socks ever since, but the dratted things never get separated in the wash and they show no signs of wearing out!


I loved our honeymoon

Apparently our honeymoon has become a bit of a legend among his work mates. Robbie works for a railway company as a train planner, and he is obsessively interested in everything to do with trains. His mates couldn't work out how he got away with a 'train focussed' honeymoon.

We had the most amazing start to our honeymoon. We spent an afternoon and evening in London cranking at Euston and the Kings Cross, after that we made our way across to Paddington. We had a first class booking on the Penzance sleeper, but it didn't leave until almost midnight, so I had plenty of time to enjoy the wonders of the First Class Lounge. Robbie got 'ants in his pants' and asked if he could go off and do a bit more train spotting. That was fine by me, I was happy to sit there and take in every detail of my surroundings, those rooms are incredible.

The sleeper journey was really special. I made sure I was awake in time to enjoy the early morning part of the journey.  ‘Sleeping beauty’ didn’t wake up until his breakfast arrived! One of the most magical memories was watching the sun rise as we came towards St Michaels Mount.

Well I have shared quite enough details about our honeymoon! The rest of the week was great too …….and it involved lots more trains!!


I would love to go on the sleeper to Penzance again one day.

Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different be dressing exactly alike.

The son who must remain nameless has been at home since finishing his GCSE's in early June and before that he had exam leave  so it feels as if he has been 'at leisure' for a very long time. He started sixth form at his new school on Tuesday so on Monday he and I had a shopping day to get an extra pair of shoes and some more trousers for school. It was really nice to spend some time together, usually I am just the taxi!


I am not a natural shopper, in fact I go to town so rarely that I find that a number of the shops have changed since I was last there. So I was not fully prepared for the joys of Topman and River Island. Why do they have to be upstairs? Clearly 'the nameless one' gets his love of clothes and clothes shops from his dad. I was fairly calm when he showed the carrot cut chinos that he wanted, they were in a colour that I am more used to seeing in the cat tray on a very bad day but I don't have to be seen out in them so I gave in without a fight.


Next we looked at 'boat shoes' apparently they are retro, they would certainly not have looked out of place in the old men's section at Marks and Spencer. His heart was set on a pair that were navy blue and brown and eventually he found a pair to fit. That was the easy bit, the price was a bit hard to take, but if that is what he chose to spend his shoe allowance on he will have to wait a while for the next pair.

He also needed what he described as a pair of short joggers for sport. Apparently he had seen a pair that were just right and he wanted me see them. After trailing around the entire store he finally found the desired garment and my composure became a distant memory. They were in a dirty off white colour in a loose almost baggy fitting with cuffs around the knee. I couldn't possibly let him be seen out in public in something like that, I have seen a similar garment in the past but it was worn by an elderly man at a care home who needed extra room for a nappy! The price was the deciding factor, this was one desire that he would not become reality. We went to a sports shop and found some (slightly) more normal sports shorts. We went into several other shops so that he could show me all the items on his wish list so by the time we drove home my feet were killing me. I have seen some sights in my life, but those joggers were certainly 'memorable' for all the wrong reasons! 

It's Always The Badly Dressed People Who Are The Most Interesting.

The title of this post is a quote from Jean Paul Gaultier, I think he is right, but I have to remind myself of that sometimes. My children have been know to call me harsh, and I have to admit to some rather uncharitable remarks (in the privacy of my own car) when confronted by some of the sights that we encounter. Clearly some people do not possess a mirror and do not check their rear view, because if they could see what I could see they would never leave the house! I am not the least bit interested in clothes or fashion, I like comfort and given the choice I would spend every waking moment in jeans. However I can manage to look smart and dress appropriately when the occasion demands it. I have not been blessed with a good figure  or height, I am short and stumpy so I am at a disadvantage when it comes to clothes, but I can still manage to dress in a way that doesn't scare passers by. More to the point, I am surrounded by family members who would tell me loud and clear if I looked too unsightly in what I had chosen to wear. Robbie doesn't do tact, he speaks his thoughts!   


So, to get to the point. Most of the coverage I have read about the royal wedding has been about what people wore and much has been made of those who were deemed to be fashion flops. When people see an unflattering outfit people are bound to have their thoughts about it, but surely those thoughts are best kept private. It is true that there were a few eccentric outfits at the royal wedding and one or two really unfortunate ones. I guess it goes to show that money can not buy style, and whatever the designer label you should trust the evidence of your own eyes. I think it is cruel to write about individual fashion mishaps especially when the person concerned is very young, it says more about the bad taste of the author than the fashion victim. I wonder how they would feel if someone humiliated a member of their family in that way.


I was especially incensed about the way that fashion writers picked on one or two of the younger royals. Quentin Crisp once said "fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are". Some people don't want to conform to the latest fashion trends and try as they might some people will never have style. Surely what matters is whether or not they are pleasant, honest, well mannered, kind and good company. I would much rather be judged on the type of person I am than what I look like or what I wear. All the fuss that people have made about Samantha Cameron not wearing a hat and wearing 'high street heels' has made me really angry. I thought she looked lovely, very stylish without trying to upstage anyone. Her shoes looked just fine to me, so what if they were not 'designer'. If she chose not to spend an obscene amount of money on shoes just to impress others, that probably shows that she has good sense and good character! As for the foolish suggestions that going to Westminster Abbey hatless was disrespectful, I can only assume these people had not engaged their brains. Who was she allegedly disrespecting? It wasn't disrespectful to the queen, she meets hatless people all the time. It wasn't disrespectful to God, women go to church hatless all the time, I have never worn a hat to church in my life! Going to church is about belief and worship not fashion. Church is not about the building, it is about the people gathering together to worship, so what is appropriate for a tiny church gathering in a hut somewhere should also be appropriate for the grandest cathedral. 


So, before being too quick to criticise people for what they wear or how they look, people would do well to remember the words of Gabrielle "Coco" Chanel "Adornment is never anything except a reflection of the heart". 

The Wrong Answer

This evening Robbie sat in the lounge contemplating his feet before announcing his momentous decision. He is going to wear shoes for the funeral tomorrow! Due to the idiosyncrasy of his feet Robbie really needs the support of boots to keep him safe and upright, but has a pair of shoes which he reserves for very important occasions. He rather reluctantly bought the shoes for our wedding, but he rebelled by wearing loud 'Robbie style' socks! This is taken from a previous blog entry

Robbie's choice of socks is almost as eclectic as his taste in shirts! He likes loud colours, and why settle for one loud colour when you can have loud stripes – he likes stripes! They even put in an appearance at our wedding. I have written before about the compromise we reached concerning Robbie wearing shoes rather than Dr Marten boots to get married. The little detail I had overlooked was the socks. On the day we were getting ready to leave the house when Robbie emerged wearing a very nice suit and bare feet. In his hand he carried a brand new rather noticeable pair of pink socks. There was no way that he was leaving the house in those, and after a forlorn attempt to fight his corner he headed back upstairs get some different socks. I thought nothing more about it until we were asked to sit down during the ceremony. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Robbie’s immaculate shoes and his hideous socks – they were clashing stripes of different blues. I have held a grudge against those socks ever since, but the dratted things never get separated in the wash and they show no signs of wearing out!

Robbie has only worn his shoes once or or perhaps twice since our wedding. It seems fitting really, the first time that Robbie and Chris met it was one of the very rare occasions that Robbie saw him wearing a tie, he was never comfortable in a tie. Robbie is never comfortable in shoes, but only shoes will will do for his friend's final send off.

Thinking of the wedding shoes and the gruesome socks reminded me of another episode related to our wedding. I asked Robbie "do you remember our wedding" he got the answer wrong and his reply "yes, vaguely" elicited a snort of disgust from me. It is not as if he has had a long time to forget, it was only five years ago!

The episode I remembered was instigated by Chris, he and some of Robbie's other colleagues parked themselves on the platform at New Street expecting to see us as our train stopped briefly at New Street. I am not sure if the intention was to embarrass Robbie or to catch a glimpse of me, to be fair we do make an odd couple. Anyway their plan was foiled by Robbie's stomach. When we got off the sleeper we were delayed at Penzance by a rather wonderful bacon sandwich and we didn't travel north on the train that they thought we would. Just in case you are wondering we really did spend all of our honeymoon on trains and it was absolutely brilliant!

Tomorrow will be a very sad day, but Robbie and all those who knew Chris have a wealth of good memories of happier times.

"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." ~ Helen Keller

Thinking Outside The Box

I think I am going to scream, I can't stand the clutter and chaos any more, it is driving me mad. Emily and all her belongings have arrived back from university and the house is bulging at the seams. Meanwhile Laura getting ready to move into a shared house with some of her uni friends, so she busy is packing. There are cardboard boxes everywhere, it is impossible to tell which are coming and which are going. The only sure thing is that wherever you are in the house you have to step over a box, walk around a box or fall over a box.

This evening when I got home Robbie was topless, it was scary, he popped out from behind a pile of cardboard boxes and trotted over to me carrying a shoebox. He wanted yo show off his new Converse boots, they are so 'Robbie', black and white polka dots in the inside and black and white comic strip drawings on the inside. However bad Robbie feels, you can rely on a new pair of shoes to being a smile to his face!

Red and Green Not Fit To Be Seen

Oh my goodness, he gets worse. We were heading out to the supermarket and then to my mums and I happened to glance down to see the horror at the end of his legs. He was wearing red patterned shoes and lurid green socks with bright blue tops, a truly scary sight! to borrow one of my mum's sayings, it made him look 'half sharp' but he refused to change, so I was forced to walk around the supermarket with him. The other shoppers gave him some funny looks, they probably though he had escaped from somewhere!

Oh well it will be back to work tomorrow, back to reality. I will miss Robbie, but at least it will stop us arguing about silly things, last week we almost came to blows about Boris Johnson of all things and today his insistance on rearranging the trolley in the supermarket almost led to divorce!

Why Would He Do That?

You will never guess what Robbie has done now! I was tidying up the other day when I came across one of his unauthorised purchases. I thought that after so long I was unshockable as far as Robbie was concerned, but my discovery left me speechless. There was just one question bouncing around in my head - WHY? Why would anyone buy something like that? HE had bought a new pair of Converse shoes, but they are unlike any shoes I have ever seen - they are see through!! Unfortunately I can imagine how ridiculous they will look with Robbie's impossibly loud socks on display to the world. Why on earth would a man with one foot significantly bigger than the other choose to wear see through shoes. I asked him about it, but all he said was "they're iconic!" I give up, but if he thinks he is going to wear them outside the house, I am certain about one thing - I will not be with him!

New Shoes

Robbie got new shoes last week, well they were boots to be exact, he walks much better in boots. They were Dr Martens as usual, but more beautiful than the usual clumpy old things that he wears. When he got home from work he couldn't stop talking about the new boots and he kept taking them out of the box to show me how nice they were, they were nice but I can't manage too much excitement about a pair of shoes. Having not got the desired response he tucked the box containing the new boots under his arm and left the room. He appeared again a few minutes later wearing the the new boots, he did a few laps around the lounge, stopped, did a twirl, then changed direction and continued to walk around the lounge. It was a bit like horseless dressage! He wanted me to admire the boots and I did my very best to keep a straight face as I admired his footwear, but he had changed out of his work suit and the sight of him cavorting around the lounge in smart new boots and PJ's proved too much for me. It had a certain comedy value, but Robbie was most indignant when he saw me laughing!

Buying Boots.

I think I have mentioned before that I have been giving my mum some extra help since David my step dad was ill, he can't drive for the next few months and mum can no longer drive because her sight has deteriorated too much. It is nice to spend more time with my mum but shopping with her is exhausting, it is as bad as shopping with Laura – we have to go everywhere and look at everything. In fact my mum is like a very old teenager sometimes. A couple of weeks ago she wanted to but some ankle boots because the ones that she wears when she takes the dogs for a walk are worn out. When we got to the shoe shop she was clear that she needed a nit of a heel on them because 'she is not ready for flat shoes just yet' we spotted a couple of suitable pairs and I left her to try them on while I had a look around. She seemed to be taking a long time so I went back to see what she was up to. She was fine, she couldn't resist trying on some stiletto boots as well because they looked so nice. I hope I will be like her when I am 78!

Best Foot Forward!

Sam has a teacher training day today. He has been looking forward to it all week! He is a bit like me, he doesn't dislike school but he could always think of something better to do. Today we are going out to buy school shoes and I am feeling rather apprehensive after the disaster last time. It ended with Sam having a major strop because I wouldn't buy him a pair of Sketchers. I bought the school shoes that Sam had selected , but he withdrew his cooperation and he has only worn the shoes once or twice because he claims that they 'rip his feet to bits'. I wouldn't say that Sam exaggerates, he just likes a good headline! Yesterday he claimed that his life was so controlled that it was like living in a communist state! My 'sin' on that occasion was to restrict the amount of pepperoni I was prepared to buy in a week. Sam would eat it every day if he was given the chance.

Anyway back to shoes, after the last fiasco I made him manage with his old shoes if he refused to wear the new ones, but now they are falling off his feet and I think Sam understands that we have to get it right this time. I think to some extent the difficulties are linked to his Aspergers, he has very fixed ideas about things and he doesn't like change unless he decides to change something - come to think of it that sound like Robbie too! For the last two or three years each time Sam has had new school shoes they have been exactly like the ones before, but the last time they were a different style. I think we have to go back to the tried and tested style, at least that will be a safe option. After past experience I think I would rather go to the dentist than shoe shopping with Sam!

Finicky Felines (and Others) 07.03.08

A few days ago a friend delivered some car magazines that he had been saving for Laura. He had put them in a box, the sort that fruit is packed in; the magazines were soon spirited away leaving the empty box which was quickly taken over by the cats. Robbie put the cat blanket over the box and the cats became a permanent fixture in the hall. One day Dave the cat even moved it closer to the radiator! It was getting on my nerves so I bought them a cat igloo made of a nice cosy brown fabric I hoped that they would like it and then I could put the box out for recycling. The cats had other ideas, they have refused to use their new bed, and every time I try to take the box away they look at me with such sad eyes that I can't do it

Sam needed new school shoes - again, so last week we headed to the shoe shop to look for a new pair. It is not one of my favourite jobs at the best of times, but Sam was finding it especially difficult to stay 'on task'. He tried on several pairs, but the ones he liked didn't fit and the ones that fitted didn't suit him, finally we settled on a pair that he liked and I could tolerate and they seemed to fit very well. Suddenly Sam's eyes settled on a pair of Sketchers that he absolutely had to have. I am not sure why my children have a weakness for Sketchers, I can't see the attraction - maybe it is an age thing! Like Robbie, Sam and the girls have a passion for footwear. Anyway Sam was focussed on a pair of trainers that were hardy more substantial than plimsolls, but they possessed a price tag that made my eyes water. I explained the difference between 'want' and 'need' and as he already has two or three pairs of trainers he doesn't need any more. I don''t like having to say no and Sam doesn't like having to hear it, but it is a learning process and a necessary part of life. We bought the school shoes and Sam was not a happy chap on the way home, but when he recovered his temper he seemed please with the school shoes. He wore them for a couple of days, but now he is back to the old shoes 'because they feel better'. Why is life so complicated?

Musings on Feet and Fashion 17.01.08

On Tuesday Robbie was limping when he got home, when I mentioned it he claimed that he had probably tied his new boots too tight that morning! I know when I am having the wool pulled over my eyes, but I decided to indulge him, if he really wanted to believe that tight shoe laces were the cause of his predicament. As always Robbie abandoned his clothes in favour of PJ's within a couple of minutes of getting home and it became clear that the limp (and the pain) remained even when he was plodding around in bare feet, and he grudgingly admitted that it had nothing to do with his new boots. By yesterday the pain and the difficulty in walking had increased and his frustration with the situation was reaching boiling point. He did a fair bit of walking in the course of his trip to and from Cardiff and by the time he got home at 8pm he was really struggling; his leg is being just as troublesome this morning. I cant help worrying about him, but hopefully he will get his hospital tests soon, once they understand what the problem I hope they will be able to sort him out. We can't have him walking like Spotty Dog for the rest of his life!

I'm not sure if Robbie's painful leg is affecting his brain, but he sent me the most bizarre text when he was heading home yesterday. It read, "I had a random conversation with myself about people who wear turn-ups and their associated footwear, today. It was rather funny!" He was a bit put out because I didn't reply, but how do you answer that, I was speechless. I may be a mine of useless information but my knowledge of the trouser turn-up is very limited, I am aware that they first became fashionable around 1912 and I think turn-ups and pockets in new garments were banned in the second world war, beyond that I pay very little attention to them. I do tend to notice men's footwear and socks, it is amazing how many people wear odd socks or socks that scream out at you because they clash with their trousers and their shoes.

Robbie's text reminded me of an embarrassing episode years ago when I worked in Plymouth. I had to take a lady to the dentist, she had spent a number of years in a mental hospital and her social skills were somewhat lacking. We sat quietly in the waiting room and there was a middle aged man in a suit sitting opposite reading a newspaper. Suddenly she leaned forward, tapped him on the knee and said, "oh, I do like your socks". The poor man was horrified, but shortly afterwards he was rescued when the dentist called him in.