A Good Drying Day

When I woke up on Thursday morning I was surprised to find that it was already a beautiful sunny day, so I decided to strike while the iron was hot and get some washing out - it was dry in a couple of hours! To be honest I was feeling a bit anxious because today was A level results day and my son had to go and pick up his AS Level exam results. It seemed to take forever but eventually the phone rang and his sister informed me that he had got good grades. My son then came on the phone, for just long enough for me to congratulate him, then he handed me back to his sister, I don't think he has any idea how how much I worry about him at times!

I didn't really want to go anywhere today the garden and the beach are all we need and the weather is perfect, but the lure of the beach cafe drew us to Mundesley for a late lunch. The food was excellent and better still they have mastered the art of making a good cup of tea, in fact their pot of tea for one provided two full cups of tea and the milk jug contained plenty of milk. The beach was busy but the tide was out so there was plenty of room for everyone. I was tempted to go for a stroll on the beach at Mundesley, but in the end we decided to head back to our beach at Walcott instead. Robbie doesn't paddle, but I love it so we strolled along the beach with me splashing about in the shallows and him keeping a safe distance. This year I asserted my independence and bought a pair of Crocs, much to the disgust of my daughters. For years they have told me that it would be too embarrassing for words if I wore Crocs, but I decided that they will just have to come to terms with the embarrassment because I needed some comfortable and practical holiday footwear. They are the most comfortable shoes i have ever worn, so I think I will wear them at home too!!

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside .......... - Elton John

Robbie didn't have the best start this morning, he arrived at the station and realised that he had left both his blackberries on the dining table, so I had to make a mercy dash to reunite him with his phones. I wasn't best pleased but when I saw his guilty grin I couldn't be cross with him. When he leaned into the car to give me a kiss and to say thank you, he mentioned that he had a strange pins and needles type pain at the top of his leg, just below his buttock. He said it felt a bit like when the injection is wearing off after dental treatment. I was worried because it did not sound like his usual sort of pain.


When I checked on him a bit later on he mentioned that the discomfort seemed to be moving down his leg and it was very itchy. I didn't hear from him again until later that morning when the cause of his problem had been discovered. He was out until late last night and when he came home he decided that he had wash his 'smalls' because he wanted to wear his favourite pair the next day. I was tired and left him to it. Apparently he didn't check the dryer before he put his items in to dry. I had washed all my kitchen cloths earlier in the day and somehow a small flat scourer found its way unnoticed into Robbie's pants! By the time he had got to work it had worked its way down his leg and as he made himself a cup of coffer it fell out from his trouser leg!

Travelling Light - or Not!

When we got home on Sunday evening we had lots to do to be ready for work on Monday. We had to get evidence ready to post to CSA the next day and Robbie being Robbie couldn't possibly face work unless he had the correct pants, so we had to deal with several loads of washing. All the essentials were done and Robbie was able to face work with his 'thinking pants' on, but I was just too tired to unpack and put away all our luggage. It had been our intention to travel light, but we were so busy and so worried before the holiday that packing was a bit haphazard. Robbie had taken 48 Tshirts as well as long sleeved tops, jackets and enough pairs of shorts to dress a centipede. Getting them ready to pack was one thing, getting them to all fit back in his draws and wardrobes is still a work in progress! I think by the time I have unpacked and got everything back to something approaching normal I will need another holiday!

I Met A Man Who Wasn't There

Robbie has been frightening me in the middle of the night - it is OK you can read on it is nothing rude! Two weekends ago Robbie went off to play trains wearing his high visibility coat, he says it is very warm and comfortable (but when he wears it he reminds me of a Smurf). When he got back from his trip he asked me to wash his coat, so the next day I washed it following the label instructions to the letter. The coat had to be drip dried so I sprinted upstairs with it and hung it over the bath. That evening when I got back from work Robbie had hung the coat on the bathroom door and there it has stayed for a fortnight. I often have to visit the bathroom during the night, I plod along the landing in the dark close the bathroom door and jump out of my skin because there is a 'man' wearing a high visibility jacket behind the door! It reminds me of the rhyme 'When I was going up the stair, I met a man who wasn't there, He wasn't there again today, I wish, I wish he'd go away'. I wish Robbie would put his coat away!

The Unforgivable Sin

I have upset Robbie so much that I thought he was going to burst a blood vessel. He was speechless, he looked horrified and he had such a menacing look on his face that I thought he was ready to commit murder. My sin was to mend the kitchen drawer. You may think that was not such a serious crime, but I needed to apply weight to the draw to hold the front in place while the repair material hardened. Unfortunately Robbie's Track Atlas was just the right shape and size for the job and the repair worked perfectly. The book was unharmed in the mending of the drawer, but Robbie went mad, I am sure he would have been less upset if I had weighted it with a Bible!

The next evening I decided to get my own back and I told him that I was very sorry but I had accidentally spilled tea on his book. His face was terrifying, he looked as if he had just walked out of a horror film. He came over and checked the book page by page and when he found that it was still in perfect condition he gave me a menacing look and told me that some things should never be joked about. He then retreated to his corner, clamped on his headphones and gave his computer his undivided attention.

To make things even worse I let him down big style when I washed his high visibility jacket. I made the foolish assumption that a grown man of almost 40 would not put his coat in the washing pile without checking his pockets. I gave the pocket a cursory check and I couldn't feel anything in them, but apparently I washed a whole load of junk, the most valuable item was a (free) ballpoint pen, but apparently Robbie was saving the wooden coffee stirrer, used tissues and McDonalds wrappers for posterity, so he gave me a lecture about checking pockets. Apparently Robbie never makes those sort of mistakes, the evidence doesn't back up his statement, but Robbie is not big of evidence! He completely overlooked the fact that the coat is a pain to wash and I had followed the washing instructions to the letter including the need to allow it to drip dry. Oh well, maybe next time he wears it he will appreciate having a nice clean coat with empty pockets!

A Bit Too Random

It has been nice but rather exhausting to have Robbie at home over Christmas, but over the last couple of days we have been able to take life a little more leisurely. It is wonderful not to have to get up at the crack of dawn it is a real luxury. The other day we were still in bed enjoying being close when Robbie suddenly sat up and said "sock bag". I thought I had misheard, but he went on to enquire exactly how to wash socks using a laundry bag. I explained, but I was rather sad that relaxing in bed with his wife only made him think of socks! It is a good thing that I am used to his random comments.

The Wrong Kind of Balls.

For a man who spends his working life dealing with timetables, Robbie's record of keeping to any kind of timetable in his private life is dismal. Yesterday he rang me at work to announce that he was still at work and wouldn't be back until 9.30pm, and he needed a lift. I couldn't express my annoyance adequately because I was at work, but he got the general impression.

When he finally got home, I expected him to be tired and just a little bit sorry for messing up our evening routine. Instead he appeared in the doorway of the lounge, hands on hips complaining that I had not discussed an important purchase with him. He complained that I had bought the wrong kind of tumble dryer balls, because the last ones eventually cracked. I told him that the previous ones had lasted for almost 3 years, not bad for 99p! He was not convinced and he said that he wants nothing to do with the new balls because they are the wrong brand. Oh well, he has two choices, he can either put up with it or manage without any balls!

Cornwall at Last

Friday passed in a blur of activity because we had so much to do to be ready to go on holiday in the morning. As well as washing, packing, getting the car ready and shopping for food, we also had to take Meg to the kennels. She wasn't too impressed when I took her out to the car, but when we got to the kennels she seemed happy to be there, she was very interested in the other dogs and she didn't give us a second glance. By 9pm the car was packed and most jobs on my list had been ticked, so I headed off to bed leaving Robbie to finish the last few jobs. We were planning to get up at 2am so I needed some sleep. I was woken at 1 am by Robbie coming to bed and when the alarm clock went off at 2am there was no way, that Robbie was going to get up. I had to get very cross with him and even then it took half an hour to get him out of bed. Once I got downstairs I found that he hadn't done anything after I went to bed, he had fallen asleep on the sofa. I was busy chasing everyone around to be ready to leave and Robbie was busy - cooking sausages! Totally normal, everyone cooks sausages at 2.30am! In the end I had to give him a deadline and threaten to leave without him.

It wasn't the best journey, everyone was asleep except me of course, I had my talking books to keep me company. Most of the journey along the M5 was through thick fog, there were lots of speed restrictions and it slowed us down considerably, but at last we arrived in Padstow in time to choose the best parking space and be happily settled in the Quayside Café eating breakfast before it got busy. It was nice to potter around Padstow looking at the shops, but we were very sad to find that the lovely old book shop has closed down, we will really miss it.

After lunch we drove to Mother Ivey's Bay and settled ourselves in the caravan. Finally we were unpacked and ready to enjoy the holiday. I love Cornwall and this little corner of Cornwall is best of all

A Slow Learner

Robbie left at 6am as usual and I will not see him again until Sunday evening. He had to choose between me and a train and it was no contest – the train won! He promised me that after this weekend I will have his undivided attention until February, I doubt that somehow but we will have to wait and see. He was funny yesterday evening, he knew he was pushing it a bit by going away for another weekend , so he was trying to be helpful by doing a few jobs without being asked. It was much appreciated but he spoiled it by getting the words wrong. He said, “I have done a few jobs for you so that you don't have to do them at the weekend” he didn't spot the warning look on my face and he went on “I have done a couple of loads of washing for you, I did my shirts and a few other things”. How is that for me???? I don't have a contract making the housework my exclusive responsibility, and if he decides to wash his shirts he is doing it for him not for me! I think he was expecting me to be grateful, but if he thinks I am going to spend my weekend doing housework while he goes out to play he is deluding himself - poor Robbie! Now if he would finish mending the fence I would be more than grateful, I would be overjoyed!

The Continuing Saga of Socks

Robbie bought new socks when he went to the Marks and Spencer sale at the weekend. Since Saturday they have been parked on the unit in the hall, I think he is doing it to taunt me because I am not keen on the lurid colours, black and orange, navy and pink, bright green and black and other equally off-putting combinations. A pair fell onto the floor yesterday and Meg found them before I did, so they were a bit grubby. I knew Robbie would moan about it so I put them in the wash and I mentioned it to Robbie that evening. He panicked and insisted that he didn't want me to put his socks in the wash because they would be lost without trace. I was offended but he ploughed on regardless, he said he would wash his socks himself and dry them on the radiator in the bedroom. No way! For someone who is health and safety trained he has some batty ideas, the radiator is not designed to have things draped over it, it is not safe. In fact if he drapes wet socks all over the bedroom his own safety may be at risk too! Oh well, if I can't be trusted to wash his socks, I'm certainly not capable of washing and ironing his shirts, it looks as if he is going to be a very busy boy!

Unpacking

Why does unpacking turn into such hard work? When we got home on Saturday the girls had friends staying so I didn't start the major unpacking until late on Sunday. In theory it should be the simplest thing in the world to put everything back in the place it came from, but either I'm not very good at theory or I'm not very good at reality because the two don't match! How did that large pile of T shirts fit into that small space on the shelf in Robbie's wardrobe, and how could that huge pile of underwear possibly have come from that drawer? Putting away the clothes is the easy bit, at least they had a designated 'home' even if other things have encroached on the space. The big problem is the food, cleaning products and toiletries, they are all 'duplicates' bought for the holiday, so they don't have anywhere to go because there is already a jar of coffee in the cupboard, we already have condiments, tea bags, foil and cleaning stuff in the kitchen, and there is already shampoo, shower gel and toothpaste in the bathroom. All these things extra things have to be put somewhere and it is surprising how quickly the kitchen starts to look chaotic. Then of course there is the washing, I didn't think we had bought much washing home, but since we have got back the washing machine has been on overtime, but the pile in the laundry basket never seems to get any smaller!

How difficult can it be?

What is the problem with thirteen year old boys? For the last three days I have been asking Sam for his laundry and I have encountered every stalling tactic possible. 'In a minute' translates into 'later this week' so I have to ask for the same thing over and over again. He is very keen on his personal space and he hates me poking around in his room, but I always have to threaten to go and get the laundry myself before I get any action from Sam. Last night, three days after my first request, I gave him an ultimatum - produce your laundry within half an hour or I will take up residence in your bedroom. Finally he appeared with a collection of socks and a face like thunder. He dumped the socks next to the washing machine and stormed back upstairs demanding that I should leave him alone. Well, it is a start, but they are just random socks, not pairs. He has two feet, how hard is it to take two socks off in the same place and put them into the laundry basket at the same time? So today I will embark on round two and demand the rest of the laundry, not just the missing socks, but unless my eyes deceive me he also wears pants, PJ's, T shirts and trousers, so there must be plenty more laundry festering somewhere. All this stress just to get his laundry, anyone would think I was asking him to donate a kidney!

Robbie went to see the children in Walsall yesterday, just a brief visit to deliver their Easter gifts, then back to work to finish a few things off because he is off to Ireland this morning. He was quite late home so by the time we had eaten I was quite tired and he made it worse by reciting packing lists over and over again. He will be back on Thursday evening so I don't think packing would have proved too taxing, it is just Robbie's way to speak his thoughts and he drives me mad, I had to beg him to shut up.

I correctly predicted that Robbie would want the white shirt that he wore yesterday to take to Ireland, so as soon as he got home I put a load of white washing on. I was too tired to stay up and wait to put it in the dryer so I left Robbie with clear instructions. I often go to bed before Robbie and I am usually asleep within a few minutes, but there is no guarantee of staying asleep. Robbie tends to appear like an apparition at the end of the bed, flapping his arms and sighing a lot - like Marley's ghost without the chains. He launches into conversation regardless of whether I am asleep or awake. Last night I became aware of Robbie's voice saying something about his balls not working anymore, I struggled towards consciousness wondering whatever could be wrong. Further conversation revealed that his shirts had come out of the dryer badly creased and Robbie was blaming the dryer balls (they work brilliantly by the way). I told him to put the shirts on a quick wash and then hang them on coat hangers to dry them over night. The apparition vanished or to be more accurate it stomped off and it was heard rampaging around the house for the next hour or so.

Robbie got to the airport safely this morning and the mystery of the balls was solved - they didn't work because he had stuffed the dryer so that the air could not circulate properly. When Robbie phoned from the airport I told him to take care and stay safe, he replied that he would be fine because he'd had three weetabix this morning - I don't think I will ever understand how that man's mind works!

Not So Hidden Secrets 10.03.08

Some people are so careless about what they leave in their pockets and at the bottom of abandoned carrier bags. I always make a profit on the laundry, I put all the lost coins in a jar to boost our spending money when we go on holiday. I check carefully, but it is surprising how often a tissue sneaks into the wash, it's so frustrating because it takes ages to get all the bits off!

This morning I was sorting out the hall, to be honest it looked more like Steptoe's yard than a hall. Why do people abandon shoes, coats and bags all over the place, in fact why do they need so many bags and pairs of shoes in the first place? Having plodded up and down stairs delivering Sam and Laura's belongs to their rooms I was left with a selection of Robbie's bags, there was the casual rucksack, the laptop bag containing his old computer, his retired briefcase which he can't bear to part with, then there was a suit cover and a couple of carrier bags. On closer investigation I found that one carrier bag contained Robbie's (still dirty) travel mug and a magazine, the other proved more interesting it contained an opened package, lots of bubble wrap and a receipt - another accidental purchase perhaps? It turned out to be a very recent receipt for a very expensive (and unauthorised) item, two items in fact, two model railway carriages! £55 for two carriages!! Oh well, it looks as if he has bought his own birthday present, at least it has saved me a job!

Getting Naked 25.02.08

Robbie caused consternation at work this morning when one of his colleagues found discarded clothing on and around his desk. They had conjured up images of an intruder who got into the office at the weekend just to get naked and zoom around on the swivel chairs but the truth was a little more down to earth. Robbie had changed at work on Friday before heading off to Liverpool to see his beloved Royal Scots Grey. He assures me that he changed in private and he didn't do a Homer and stalk through the open plan office in his knickers, he just carelessly abandoned his clothing on someone's desk. That must have been an incredible start to his week for his colleague, turning up to work on a Monday morning to be confronted by Robbie's washing!

On the subject of washing, I have won my battle with the European Washing Mountain and all Sam's belongings have been washed, ironed and put away. The washing machine nearly had a nervous breakdown, but it is finally done - until the next time. Our own little 'Mr Trebus' has wasted no time in cluttering up his bedroom again since he got back from Austria - I found two pots of honey up there today. I heard on the radio that due to longer lasting paint they will finally be able to take a break from painting the Forth Bridge. Unfortunately bringing order to Sam's bedroom looks as if it will be a never ending task for many years to come.

Robbie was late home tonight, and when he finally turned up he couldn't stop talking about the N word - Network Rail! Do you think they have ever been named as the other party in divorce proceedings before - or will ours be the first?!

To Ski or Not to Ski? 24.02.08

Sam arrived home on Saturday afternoon, I was really looking forward to having him home again. He had only been gone for a week but when he got off the coach he seemed taller and more grown up than I remembered. His face was tanned and he looked happy to see us, his first question was fairly predictable - "What's for tea?" The luggage was unloaded from the coach and we headed home with Sam's huge case bursting with enough washing to keep me busy for a week! In fact the only thing that remained neatly folded was the black bag that I had given Sam to put his dirty washing in. Typical boy!

I had taken advantage of Sam's absence to sort out his bedroom, to reorganise his clothes storage and to remove all the clothes that he has grown out of. So many things were crumpled or out of place that by the end of the week it felt as if I had laundered every single garment that he owns. It is so frustrating to see how many things no longer fit him, it seems as if I only bought some of them a few months ago, but at 13 he is doing a lot of growing.

He said he had a good time in Austria, and I think he was quite pleased that he was better at skiing than he expected. Interestingly he said he wouldn't want to do it again, but that doesn't matter, it is nice that he has had a chance to experience skiing. He said the food was really bad, but he is not very adventurous when it comes to food. It is great to have him home again.

The Trouble With Tea Bags! 16.07.07

Sam is in trouble again! He is not that keen on appearing in the blog but on this occasion his safety may depend on it. I am so frustrated that I want to go and wake him up and ask exactly why he chose to add a tea bag to my load of white washing! It isn't the first time that I have fallen victim to his bizarre laundry experiments, it isn't even the first time I have had the tea bag treatment, but he hasn't done anything like this for ages and I must have been lulled into a false sense of security. When I emptied the dryer earlier today I noticed that my whites were streaked and stippled with yellowish brown marks, I was mystified until I found the remains of a teabag in the filter. It didn't require the services of Sherlock Holmes to deduce that Sam was at the root of the problem and the deep tea coloured stain on one of his school shirts was proof positive. The time bomb had been concealed in his shirt pocket!

Do you know how hard it is to remove tea leaves from a shirt pocket, I was still working on it at midnight having failed in my efforts to remove the stains, I am crossing my fingers that a third cycle in the washing machine may do the trick. If not Sam will find himself seriously in debt!

Sam is 12, he is funny, clever and he has a wider general knowledge than anyone else I know, he is also obsessive, outspoken, frustrating, and completely unpredictable. He has Asperger Syndrome and I love him just the way he is - but I wish he wouldn't mess with the washing machine. Oh well it isn't as bad as the time that a couple of wax crayons found their way into the tumble dryer!

Back to Reality 10.04.07

It was back to reality with a bump this morning. I did not have to go to work, but 'Thunderfoot' Burgess made absolutely sure that I was wide awake at just after 6am. That man is so noisy - but at least he makes a good cup of tea! I sat in bed enjoying my tea, listening to him going up and down stairs muttering to himself, something about choosing what shirt to wear and where had he put his socks (beware of men in white coats!). I honestly don't know why he goes up and down stairs so much in the morning, maybe he is just checking that they are all still there! He has a tendency to count the stairs each time he goes up and down.

I think Robbie was secretly keen to get back to work, I have never met anyone who loved their job as much as he does, I can't see the attraction myself, but I guess it is just as well we are all different otherwise the trains would grind to a halt.

Once Robbie was safely off the premises I set about the washing mountain that has popped up like a mushroom almost overnight. I couldn't understand why the dryer was taking an age to dry the load that I had found in it. On closer inspection I found it was packed so tightly that it was impossible for the air to circulate. I later discovered that this was Emily's work and I had to explain that tumble dryers only work if the items inside can actually tumble! Poor old Emily, at least she tried.

I had an email this morning to tell me that someone who has just discovered the blog thinks Robbie is very cute! Its an odd world! I hope nobody shows her the calendar or she will be terrified.