I often regret that I have spoken; never that I have been silent - Publilius Syrus

I always look forward to the weekends, it is good spending time with Robbie, and it is nice to take life at a calmer pace after all the demands of the week. On week days we are out of bed by 5am so the luxury of a lazy morning with Robbie is one of the best bits of the weekend. Generally we have things planned on Saturdays so Sunday is our lazy morning but one way or another Robbie always manages to burst my bubble. On Sunday morning we were cuddled up in bed just enjoying the moment when Robbie announced that he had rearranged the meat draw in the fridge. I asked if I was so boring that he had to think about cleaning the fridge, he looked a bit confused and after a brief sorry he cuddled closer. All was well for a few minutes then at the point that I should have had his full attention he announced that he wanted to wash the car later on! Needless to say that the moment was lost. I despair of him sometimes.

Watching Paint Dry!

On Sunday morning Robbie finally fulfilled his promise to do some work in the garden. our grass is so long that a whole family of tigers could be in there and we would never know. Maybe we should get a sheep! Robbie's main aim was to bag up all the wood from the old fence panels and the remains of the tree/shrub that he chopped down last week. We took a car load of garden waste to the recycling centre so we must be making progress, but the garden still looks like a tip. Is there such a thing as slow growing grass? I'm sure it would be worth us scrapping the present lawn and starting again.

Robbie deserved a relaxing evening after all his work in the garden. He could have enjoyed some family time or he could even have talked to me - no chance, he was chatting online with his little friend from work. You may wonder what was so important to talk to a work colleague about on a Sunday, no for once it wasn't trains - it was trams! There are some things in life that you just can't change and Robbie is one of them. He kept telling me how lucky his mate was to have visited the tram museum and I kept giving the occasional nod or mumble to make him feel that I was interested. In reality I wasn't listening, I wasn't going to let him bore me rigid on a bank holiday weekend. Do you know the difference between a tram and a trolley bus? I don't, I dashed off to watch some paint drying as soon as he embarked on that subject!

At least his chat with his mate solved one long standing problem for me. I have no idea what they were talking about but Robbie used the phrase 'Head Honcho' at least that is what he intended to say. Unfortunately every time he uses that phrase he always says it wrong, I have told him about it loads of times but he never takes any notice of me. His colleague has finally made him understand that 'Head poncho' conjures up an entirely different image - a South American gangster perhaps? For some reason it reminds me of a zany television series from my childhood, it was called Michael Bentine's Potty Time. The thing I remember most is that the puppets had no legs, they were just a coat and a head (and arms of course), I don't recall one wearing a poncho, but I can just imagine the sort of crazy character he would have created.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqXiqiC5dS8

Too Much Detail? 04.10.07

I always try to be honest and to tell the truth in my dealings with other people, but there have been times when the effort has nearly killed me. I remember an older relative would occasionally ambush me with 'what do I look like in this?' and I had to go to great lengths to find something honest but not hurtful to say. I would comment on the colour or the length rather than the general appearance! I am usually fairly good at thinking on my feet, but Robbie caught me off guard a few days ago, he asked me if he was boring! He detected the moment of panic before I had time to compose my face and searched for a non committal answer. He pursued the issue saying 'you really think I'm boring don't you?' and I had to admit that there are times when that would be true. To be fair it is not so much that he is boring, just that he provides an excess of information about subjects of limited interest.

Robbie was stung and countered with claims that I was also boring, an accusation which I freely admit. I am not a going out sort of person and I have my own particular interests, but in an odd sort of way Robbie and I suit each other very well. I will leave it to others to decide if Robbie is boring, I will just present you with a review of the evidence Sherlock Holmes style. Recent conversations have included such gems as who created the theme tune for the comedy To The Manor Born - do I care! It was Ronnie Hazlehurst actually, but knowing that has not made a huge difference to my life. A recurring theme for the last week has been the pressing question of the M in the Morrisons logo, have they changed it or not? It doesn't matter to me one way or the other but for some reason it is vitally important to Robbie. The performance of the new tea towel has been 'in the news' for a couple of weeks now, I'm not sure why it bothers him so much. There is also the vexed question of the M&S Hornby train set, will they issue one for Christmas this year and if so what will it be? I am not holding my breath on this one, but I get daily bulletins anyway. Then there is the daily update on the Christmas catalogues coming out, it was Boots yesterday and Robbie kindly told me in excruciating detail about all of the 3 for 2 offers, yes I do mean ALL the offers! The little matter of his work trousers has been of 'burning' importance recently, but for Richard's sake I will not mention the details again, however it did cause him to wonder why everything 'goes south' as we get older! Gravity! I know exactly what trains he caught to and from Preston, I know what route they took, if they were on time, who worked on them, I even know who he sat next to on the train this morning and what they talked about - I could go on but you get the idea! He regularly wakes me up to ask me if I'm asleep, so he is not too good at picking up on visual clues and I he is always surprised when I suggest that he provides too much detail!

Responding to Richard 18.09.2007

In response to my last post Richard wrote
I reckon you must have a bad one 'cos I've had a few Fords in my time and they've all done me proud. I currently drive a three-year old 2.0 ltr Mondeo automatic and it's great. It's my second Ford on the trot; my previous one was a ten-year old Mondeo auto and that, while being a bit long in the tooth, was just as good. Unless it's a Galaxy thing you're suffering from; I've never owned one of those so I can't really comment on them.

Richard you are going to have to send me a photo because over time I have conjured up a rather worrying image of you, and your very odd opinions about cars just reinforce that image. First you stick up for the dreaded Volvo, then you eulogise about the Ford Mondeo! We had a Mondeo a few years ago and I hated it with a passion, in particular I strongly objected to the seat controls, it was without doubt the worse car we ever had - except the Freelander which turned up it's toes within the warranty period! Just to cement this troublesome image in my mind you have said that you drive an automatic - how adventurous! I imagine that you must be nearer 60 than 50 and rather like Martin from Ever Decreasing Circles. Possibly too boring to have had a mid life crisis, but you keep people guessing because there is just a vague possibility that this whole thing is all irony and somewhere beneath that boring facade there is a sense of humour ready to burst out.

Spatial Awareness 11.03.07

We had to do some furniture removal today. My mum needed an old drop leaf pedestal table taking to the tip. Robbie likes going to the tip and he was keen to help, but when it came to getting the table in the car it required a woman to take control of the situation. Men may have the brute force but when it comes to spatial awareness they haven't got a clue. Maybe that is why so many men over estimate their own attributes!

The table and some bags of rubbish were safely deposited at the tip, leaving the car in need of a wash and brush up. Oddly Robbie was not keen to go to the garage and he found reasons to postpone the cleaning for a few days. I thought he must be ill because he loves playing with water, he watched too much Fireman Sam when he was younger! I finally got an explanation from him. He said 'someone has stolen the nozzle off the vacuum and it really spoils the fun without the nozzle'. Honestly, I know train planners are boring, but how can using a vacuum possibly be fun!