The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers - Thomas Jefferson

There are many things that I love about Robbie, but his choice of newspaper is is not one of them. I detest the thing I resent the waste of paper and I resent the waste of money, I would rather he spent it on a railway magazine, even if he spent it on  Lego or any of his other many and varied obsessions it wouldn't seem so pointless. I have managed to change or modify many things about Robbie over the years, but he remains stubbornly attached to his limp lefty newspaper, so I do my best to ignore it.

Yesterday evening we settled down in the lounge, me with my laptop and Robbie across the room with his newspaper. I was lost in my own little world writing the blog when I glanced up to see Robbie holding his phone out to the cat, and more worrying still the cat was looking at it as if he was reading a text! I asked Robbie what he was doing and with a totally serious expression he said that he was showing the cat the time to prove that he had to wait another hour until feeding time. 

I shook my head in disbelief and settled back to writing the blog. A little later completely out of the blue Robbie asked "How much does mum pay for David's socks these days". It seemed such an odd question that I had to ask him to repeat it in case I hadn't heard him properly. I told Robbie that I have never given a passing thought to the price of my step father's socks - but thanks to Robbie I have now! Once he get's started on a subject there is no stopping him and I heard all about the advantages of loose top socks, a very good deal he had spotted; the price, the colour, it went on an on until I begged him to stop.

Finally he was quiet and I went back to what I was doing. Peace reigned for a little while, then Robbie's voice rang out asking "Have you noticed that you don't often see radishes in the supermarket these days?" I thought about it for a minute and decided to try my luck with a one word answer - no! It was worth a try, but it just encouraged him to provide more radish related information. I listened for a while but I really couldn't summon up much interest in radishes. I asked if he had ever eaten a radish and he informed me that he hadn't. I informed him that he hadn't missed much! I told him that if he was that interested I would buy him some radishes, but he quickly declined and told me that it just was something he had been reading about. 

So now yo know why I dislike that dratted newspaper, it puts ridiculous ideas in his head!

Who Are You Calling A Nerd??"

I have written before about my elderly mobile phone, it is nine year old and still going strong  - well to be totally honest it isn't exactly going strong, but it does still work. I am waiting to inherit my daughter's backberry she has just got an iphone and has kindly offered mum her old phone. Anyway my present phone works well enough to cope with a few texts every day, mostly texts from Robbie. I still get teased my texts, my son looks at me shakes his head and says "Mother, you are the only person in the world who writes a text in whole sentences with punctuation!". It seems that I can't win because Robbie moans at me for using templates and tells me to make my texts more personal, but this post is not really about my writing style, it is about Robbie's texts.


Robbie can be very persuasive especially when he wants to convince me that I want to get up before the birds on as Saturday morning and spend the whole day travelling on trains. I got one of those kind of persuasive texts from him one day last week, a subtle blend of flattery, temptation and pleading because he wanted me to play trains with him on Saturday. Te odd thing was that the final word of the text "nerd" was rather insulting and not in the 'Uriah Heep' style of the rest of the text. I responded with "Did you call me a nerd" and there was rather a long silence before I go a rather embarrassed response. Apparently he thought he was sending an emoticon, but because my phone is like me (a bit behind the times) it just named the emoticon rather than creating a winking face or whatever it was. I have warned Robbie to be careful who he sends these things to, otherwise his texts could contain unexpected insults!

The Straw That Broke the Camel's Back

Robbie found himself spending the night on the sofa bed last night. He pushed my tolerance to the limit during the evening. He phoned me to say that he had been delayed and he would not be on his planned train so could I please pick him up at 7.30pm, I wasn't overjoyed because it would mean that we could not eat our meal until well after 8pm. I wasn't too impressed with his attitude either but I got on with preparations for the meal and various other jobs and at 7.29pm I pulled into the station car park to meet Robbie. Almost as soon as I turned off the engine my phone bleeped to signal that a text had been received, I rummaged in my handbag for my phone and read the text (sent at 7.25pm) Robbie had missed his train and was still at the pub, he would text me again soon! To say that I wasn't amused doesn't really get close to my real emotions. I went home again, did Robbie's jobs, fed the rest of the family and waited , and waited ..........and waited. Finally a text arrived informing me that he was on the train and in need of a lift at 10.30pm. He always texts when he knows he is in trouble, he is two afraid to ring. I was very tempted to leave him marooned at the station, but I went to fetch him. He got into the car with a daft grin on his face and told me that he'd had a really good time. At least one of us had! As we drove off he informed me that several of his friends were drunk, and I informed him that he stank of alcohol. I was still waiting to hear anything that sounded remotely like sorry, but when I glanced across at him I saw that he was dozing with the idiot grin still spread across his face. He managed a couple of incoherent sentences before we got home, but when I reversed on to the drive he thanked me as if I was a taxi driver, grabbed his bags and trotted off into the house, leaving me outside! I didn't even get the usual cup of tea as a peace offering.

This morning he appeared at 11am bearing a cup of tea and an apology and promising breakfast. I am still waiting for breakfast an hour later!

Living Dangerously

Robbie has really overstepped the mark this time. He went off on his rail tour on Friday and was due home at tea time on Sunday, I took that to mean 5pm – 6pm. While he was playing trains I was running around doing all those mundane things that you only notice if they don't happen, washing, cleaning, putting away, pet care, food shopping, cooking, filling the car up and picking people up or dropping them off. I know he thinks we have a succession of 'good fairies' to do all that while I sit around watching Judge Judy, but I have news for him, they didn't turn up!!

I had a couple of brief phone calls from him on Saturday, but I was busy and all he could talk about was the rail tour. On Saturday evening I took my mobile and the house phone up to bed thinking that he may ring me to say goodnight – he didn't. He didn't ring in the morning either, I was a bit hurt, but I got on with my work and I was rather distracted because my little nephew had been admitted to hospital with breathing problems. 5pm came and went and there was no word from Robbie, so I began calling and texting with no response. He has two phones so I found it hard to believe that they both had no battery or no signal, but I continued to call al evening with no response. He was coming from Preston, I know it is in the north, but surely it shouldn't take an entire day to get home!

At 10.05pm I got a text asking for a lift, so his phone was working fine when he wanted something!I picked him up at about 10.30pm, he didn't manage more than a couple of words and there was no explanation or apology for not answering my calls. When he got home he went prowling around the house looking for things that hadn't been done, he didn't find any – or at least if he did he had the sense not to mention it! For reasons best known to him he decided to potter around in the kitchen tidying things that were already the way I wanted them. I had moved the furniture in the lounge and everyone agreed that the room worked better that way, Robbie didn't comment on it, but after I had gone to bed he moved it back. Clearly he has a death wish! This morning I put it back to the way I wanted it – two can play at that game!

Superior Knowledge!

Robbie went to work in a strop this morning because we had managed to disagree about a sending a text message. I am not a gadget person in the way that Robbie is, as far as I am concerned a mobile phone is for making phone calls and sending the odd message. I don't use my phone as a mobile entertainment system in the way that most people seem to these days. It is a bit of a family joke that I don't understand text language, I use proper words and to everyone's amusement I use punctuation as well! It takes me ages to send a text and usually I ask Robbie to do it for me because he is lightening fast. Mad as it sounds I have a sentimental attachment to my phone, it is about 6 years old and to be brutally honest it has seen better days and it is a bit temperamental. This morning there was a text from my friend to say that her baby had arrived, I asked Robbie to text back for me but he complained that the space button wasn't working. I told him to get the space from the symbol menu instead, but he just had a strop and claimed that he couldn't do it. I showed him how, but he stomped off still muttering about me being unreasonable. I was a bit surprised by his reaction but I think he was just cross because for once I could do something with a gadget that Robbie didn't know how to do! He did apologise - eventually.

Back to 'Normal'

The trains from Northampton were back to what passes for normal on Tuesday so I didn't have another trek to Kettering. I'd already seen rather more of Kettering station than I wanted in the last few days. The previous evening I had taken Emily to Kettering to catch the East Midlands Trains service back to Leicester, it is quite a good service - as long as you don't expect a seat! Usually it is a Meridian, but on this occasion it wasn't hr usual train. Emily sent Robbie a text to say that it was a very old train and she found his reply so funny that she forwarded it to me.

"Hellfire! You've got an HST then. 27 years old this year and still OUTSTANDING! You lucky girl!"

That man is so sad!

Too Much Infrmation 26.06.07

I was woken by a text from Robbie asking if I was awake. It wasn't time to get up and replied 'no' but that didn't deter Robbie and he phoned to point out that I must be awake as I had replied to his text. You may wonder what was so urgent, well he wasn't ringing to tell me how much he missed me, no it was something far more urgent - he woke me up to tell me in painful detail about the state of the rail services due to the floods. I was not amused and he must have got the message because he didn't phone again until early afternoon. The next time he called he said he was heading home, that would have been sufficient info for me, but Robbie had other ideas. He told me all the details of plan A, plan B and plan C and then he went on to the more extreme contingency plans. I had to stop him because I was at work and there was real possibility that I might scream with frustration if he didn't shut up.

It will be almost midnight before he gets home, his journey will have taken almost 11 hours, he is tired and his back hurts, so maybe there will not be too much train talk tonight. On the other hand we are talking about Robbie!

Update
The wanderer arrived home after eleven and a half hours travelling, but he was still talking - about trains!! He got up for work this morning, still exhausted, still in pain and still talking non stop about trains! I don't mind the train stuff it is just when he gives endless route plans and timings that I feel like screaming.