Having Robbie in my life means that I am used to strange questions and not to be out done, my son has spent his whole life bombarding me with questions on every imaginable subject. Believe me there is never an easy answer where my son's questions are concerned. Here are two diary entries, my son was 9 or 10 at the time.
...........He was almost back to normal, asking his usual stream of questions. Among several other things he wanted to know how exactly it is possible to kill 2 birds with one stone!
...........My son questioned me in detail about the ageing effect of space travel, it made my brain hurt. He said that if there were identical twins and one went into space while the other stayed behind, one would end up older than the other. Having thought about it, he must be right, I saw William Shatner on TV not so long ago and all that space travel has clearly taken its toll on him!
Usually my older daughter is more likely to tell me the answers than to ask questions but yesterday she was even more 'random' than Robbie. When I came back from work she came into the lounge and said "Mum, why didn't you tell me about Peter Cook and Dudley Moore?" I was lost for words, there are so many things that I have tried to pass on to my children, but I am fairly sure that Peter Cook and Dudley Moore were not on the list. She went on to tell me that she didn't know that they used to be a double act, but having come across clips of them on YouTube she had discovered that they are very funny. I don't think forgetting to tell her about Pete and Dud makes me a failure as a parent, but it has left me wondering what else I should tell her about.
Despite my concerns my son and daughter are having a lovely time in Cornwall. On Saturday morning they enjoyed a long walk along the coast path around Trevose Head towards Harlyn. She took this photo of Mother Ivey's Bay looking towards Merope Rocks, that view holds so many happy memories for me, I wish I was there with them.
Later in the day they went to Padstow and despite the choppy sea they braved a boat trip around the offshore islands to see the puffins and other sea birds. A boat trip on the Jubilee Queen while on holiday has become a bit of a family tradition, but personally I prefer to keep my feet firmly planted on dry land even on the calmest day! I braved the trip once and I was lucky enough to see puffins, but the braver members of the family have seen dolphins, seals, puffins and many other sea birds.
They spent Sunday visiting their grandparents and then their aunt, uncle and cousins. They even visited Windy Ridge, one of my favourite restaurants. Apparently it has been given a facelift since I last visited, they enjoyed their meal very much; another reason for me to visit Cornwall again very soon!
My son is making a film for his A level coursework and he wanted to incorporate video clips of him as a child, so on Sunday evening I sorted out the old video camera and we took a trip down memory lane. It is a strange feeling, like looking through a window to the past, but I feel very lucky to have those memories. I watched my son aged about 5 or 6 wearing his Buzz Lightyear pyjamas, opening his birthday presents with his older sisters looking on. It was interesting to observe the dynamics when they were younger and to realise that they may have grown up, but the dynamics haven't changed very much. Next there were clips of all three children taking part in school and Music School concerts, it is confusing those images were so familiar, yet at the same time so remote, as if they happened in another lifetime.
All this looking back on the past led me to wonder if it had been possible to tell back then how the children would develop and what paths they would chose to follow. I think to some degree the answer is yes, it was clear early on that my older daughter loved learning for it's own sake and it came as no surprise that her early love of reading and writing developed into a passion for English. We knew early on that our second daughter would work hard to achieve her goals, she is ambitious and she has her father's love of life, she lives life to the full. Perhaps my son's future path was the most difficult to predict, he was always bright but his early ambition was to be a 'trolley pusher' at the supermarket and he resisted any attempt to change his mind. When my aunt suggested that perhaps he would like to be a vet he told her rather sternly that he liked animals from the outside but he didn't think he would like them from the inside! I guess there were indications early on that he would develop a passion for film, but it wasn't clear to me at the time. The thing that was obvious was that he needed to do things in his own unique way and to find his own direction. Perhaps that is the key to successful parenting, to give them as many opportunities and experiences as possible, to encourage and sometimes cajole, but to allow them the space to discover their own strengths. I don't think there are hard and fast rules when it comes to parenting, it is just a case of always doing your best even at those times when you don't think your best is good enough.
Robbie abandoned me again on Wednesday because he'd had a better offer. How can I possibly compete with his beloved trains, especially when it is something a bit unusual that can't be put off until another day. It would have been nice to have spent the day with him, but he bribed me with the promise that if I let him go he would take me out for lunch on Thursday. I had a nice time without him, I visited one of my favourite shops (but I didn't spend too much!) then I went to the park with my daughter. We bought an ice cream from the van, Gallone's make the best ice cream in the world! It was lovely in the shade of the big horse chestnut trees, we watched the children in the playground and reminisced about how much better the playground equipment used to be before 'health and safety' spoil the fun. She will be 21 in a couple of weeks, I couldn't help smiling when she said that things were so much better in 'her day'. I wonder how she will feel when she is my age.
Robbie kept his promise and took me out for a carvery lunch, it was lovely. We ate outside in a shady spot in the garden, after all those weeks of rain it is lovely to have some sunshine. I waited until after lunch to break the news to him that the cats had scratched his Dr Marten boots! His initial reaction was calm, especially when I offered to take him to the Doc Shop. He was over the moon with his new purchases, some English made pink shoes and some English made black 1461s with yellow stitching. He was more vocal when he got home and spoke to the cat, he called him a fat, furry, fatherless feline (among other things!).
I had such a good time on Saturday. For me it was a Robbie free day because he was out playing trains - nothing new there! A couple of months ago my friend took me to visit the most amazing place, it is called Astley Book Farm and it is the largest second hand book shop in the Midlands. I loved it and I promised myself that I would go back when I had plenty of time to brose. I told my daughter Emily about it and she wanted to go as well, so we planned our trip for Saturday. To say that Emily shares my love of books would be an understatement, I have never seen anyone so excited about visiting a bookshop!
It was a nice morning and we had a nice drive to the book farm, we got there fairly early so that we had plenty of time to explore every section of the shop. It is an amazing place, just when you think you have got to the end of the shop you find a doorway or turning opening on to another section. Emily soon found the English language section and she was in her element, crouched on the floor looking at every book that took her fancy. I wandered off and soon I had found two or three books that would make perfect Christmas presents. I was having a great time and I felt virtuous too, it is only September and I have started my Christmas shopping!
Emily was still sitting on the floor reading text books when I wandered past ten minutes later. She excitedly offered me a book, it was a dictionary of vulgarity in
old English, that girl is passionate about language. I left her surrounded by a pile of books and headed up to the children's section in the hayloft. Who needs anti wrinkle cream when you can visit a place like this. Soon I was sitting on the floor rediscovering treasures from my childhood including Sam Pig, My Naughty Little Sister and many more. Emily came up to join me and we rekindled memories from her childhood too.
Considerably later I made my way down from the hayloft and headed for the transport section clutching the pile of books that I intended to buy. There was a whole section on railway books so I happily whiled away another half an hour looking at some amazing books. I selected a book about the railway companies pre nationalisation, it is a lovely book and it was very reasonably priced.
By then my friend had arrived so we paid for our books and put them in the car before going to the coffee shop for a cup of tea and a natter. Afterwards we had a last look around and we bought a couple more things before going back to my friend's house for a while. I really enjoyed the whole day, it is nice to spend some quality time with my daughter, and I always enjoy spending time with my friend. The added enjoyment of the bookshop turned it into a perfect day. I must take time to do more things like this.
