'It inspires me, the sea, the limitless skies, the mud and the burning sunsets and the freedom of a place where more than 50% of the neighbours are fish.' - Raffaella Barker

Thursday 8th August

We'd planned to go to Cromer today, but it was such a beautiful morning that we decided that Cromer could wait and we would enjoy the sun and the beach. This is what I dream of all year, the luxury of time, freedom from routine and the peace and tranquility of the Norfolk coast. The huge Norfolk sky reaches down to touch the sea and rhythmic sound of the waves rolling on to the beach and the cries of sea birds are the mood music of the day.

We walked on the beach. I splashed in the surf and looked at the beauty of the sea washed pebbles glistening in the sunshine while Robbie took photos. The beach is a lot lower this year, it is a long time since I can remember the sand being this low. The beach is different every time we come, the level of the sand changes, sometimes as now the tide leaves pools behind at the back of the beach. My children loved the pools when they were little, and seeing the beach like this again brings back so many memories. 

We sat in the garden all day, enjoying the sunshine, reading and relaxing. I wrote all my postcards and caught up with one or two other bits and pieces of writing too. Despite the factor 50, I still managed to catch the sun a little bit, I have stripes on my legs because I was wearing shorts so I will have to try and even it out in the next few days

“Time is a circus, always packing up and moving away.” - Ben Hecht

Friday 2nd August

In theory today should have been a fairly easy day as I was well ahead with my packing and I didn't have too many jobs left to do before our holiday, but I hadn't taken Robbie into account. He has been working so hard recently and he had loads to do before he could think about the holiday. He asked me to take him to Marks and Spencer's in his lunch break because he wanted some more shorts and a couple of other bits and bobs. It was a fleeting trip, but he got what he needed. Then he had to get back to work while I went off to do a few more errands. 

I began to think that Robbie would never be able finish his work in time, but at last he closed his laptop and announced that he was ready to help with the packing. He packed his railway DVDs, an N gauge railway set with lots of extras, three Lego sets (Technic, Lone Ranger and Back to the future), a selection of railway books, a graphic novel, stacks of magazines, his jigsaw board, binoculars and assorted gadgets. He seemed to think that he had completed his packing and I had to remind him that he would probably need clothes as well as toys. He claims that he would like to be a naturist, but I don't think Norfolk is ready for that!!

Finally all the annoying little jobs were done, the car was packed and everything was ready for us to make an early start in the morning. Robbie turned back to his work to have one last attempt to solve an annoying planning problem that had chosen to rear it's ugly head at a most inconvenient moment from Robbie's point of view. I don't know how long he spent in search of a solution because I had gone to bed and I was asleep long before he came upstairs.

Bernard the Bathroom Cat

Yesterday after a rather frustrating day I sat down in the lounge to relax for a couple of hours before bed. Before long Bernard came into the lounge and settled down on my lap and began to purr. It may sound like a very ordinary thing, hardly worthy of comment, but for Bernard it represents a huge improvement since she became part of our family a year ago.

For those who don't usually read the blog we first became aware of the cat a couple of days before Christmas 2011 when the turkey that was left in the utility room to defrost was partially eaten by an animal. It turned out that a stray cat had broken in through a sealed cat flap. This is what I wrote about it early last year.

"The saga of the cat continues, every time we put her out she sits outside meowing all day and all night, then just when you notice that it has all gone quiet you realise that she has broken in again! We can't go on like this so I decided that today I was going to take her to the vet to see if she has been chipped. There were just two small problems, catching her and getting her into the cat carrier. 

Yesterday evening my son and daughter caught her - eventually! She had hidden herself behind the fittings in the utility room again and it took forever to coax her out. Finally she was confined to the kitchen (where we hoped she wouldn't be able too hide, but she had other plans. She made her escape and this morning she had to be coaxed out from under a bed! 

Once again she was confined to kitchen and when the rest of the family had been despatched to work and school, I was left to get her into the cat carrier. There was just one problem the cat had decided that there was no way that it was getting into the cat carrier. She grew several extra legs (or at least it seemed like that), she did some amazing gymnastics, the only thing she didn't do was get into the cat carrier. Then after about ten failed attempts I managed to get her in and lock the door of the carrier behind her. I took a few minutes to calm her and let her get used to the carrier before heading off to the vet.

According to the vet she is a female and aged about three. She is not significantly under weight, but she is timid. She is not on any missing lists, I have checked with every group in the area, so the vet thinks that the best thing to do is to look for another home for her."

We didn't plan to keep her, but she was so skittish that it was not easy to find anyone to take her. She has always been a very clean cat, never any accidents but she spent months hiding away from us, she just coming out to to eat before darting back into her hiding place. For some reason the bathroom was her favourite hiding place, she liked to scramble right behind the bath where no one could reach her. We were reluctant to give her a name or to get too attached in case we were able to rehome her and until we had taken her to the vet we didn't even know if she was male or female so we jokingly referred to her as Bernard (named after Nursie in Blackadder, a girl with a boy's name) and by the time we were ready to give her a name she had 'become' Bernard.

I think she will always be shy especially with strangers, but she has a family now and she seems happy. When she came to us her coat was dull and harsh to touch and she was always hungry, but now she is in lovely condition and her coat is soft and silky. We didn't intend to become a three cat family but it is nice to see what a bit of love and attention can do to change the life of a stray.

It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan - Eleanor Roosevelt

One of the nice things about Robbie working for himself is that sometimes he can have a day off during the week. It makes up for all those early mornings and late nights. Usually when he has time off we try to enjoy the day together, but that wasn't possible today because this is a very busy week for me, so work had to come first. 

Robbie had an appointment at the Apple shop in Milton Keynes, to have his i-pad checked out, but he didn't fancy going there by train because it is a very long walk to the shopping centre. He decided to take this chance to try out the Stagecoach Gold (Enviro 400) bus service to Milton Keynes. He wasn't impressed with the design he said it was a bumpy journey and the seats creaked and rattled, but he liked the free Wi-Fi.

I didn't hear from Robbie for most of the morning then  I got a brief text to say that his i-pad problem had been resolved. A bit later I logged on to check my email account and then I had a quick look at facebook. Robbie had found his way to the Lego shop and he'd created 3 'unique' Lego figures, the evidence was posted on facebook for all to see. I was deeply troubled by his creations, the first one seemed to be a short legged version of Robbie, the second was a colour blind woman armed with a circular saw and the third was a man apparently wearing a hard hat and carrying an implausibly large banana. It left me wondering what goes on in Robbie's head and I remarked to the cat that he could probably keep a psychiatrist fully occupied for years! One of his friends commented that counselling is available, but another friend responded "I think counselling is a little late. Besides who would want to change Robbie? We need a few Robbies in the grey old world".   

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Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. - Oscar Wilde

We had a very nice day today, a long lazy morning listening to the radio and enjoying some computer time. Then after the luxuary of a nice hot bath it was time to go out. We took a gentle drive to Wolaston to check out the Doc Shop. We like to drive to out through Earls Barton, then on towards Great Doddington until then we turn off on to Hardwater Road towards Wollaston. The route takes us past a very pretty old water mill, the water was very high because we have had a lot of rain recently, the fields were flooded and the water came right to the edge of the road. I am so fed up with rain, after the unusually high rainfall in the last twelve months I am starting to feel like Noah!

Robbie's new boots

They had some of the boots from the Boxing Day sale at the Doc Shop, the ones that were used in the Olympics. They were a very good price and the proceeds were going to charity, it was nice to see them but I didn't want to buy any. I didn't think I was going to buy anything, but then I spotted some rather nice ankle boots. They were so comfortable that I couldn't resist them and Robbie bought them for me. He bought some ankle boots for himself too, they are not his usual sort of boot, but I rather like them.  

My new boots

It was not too difficult to drag Robbie away from the Doc Shop because the next stop involved food. We drove back to Northampton and had a quick look at the sale items in W.H. Smith, I love books and art products and I can't resist bookshops. I spent more than I should have done, but most of the things I bought were for birthday presents so I'd better not write about my purchases. After that we went to eat and we had a nice relaxing time just chatting and enjoying time together.

When we got home it was time to take the decorations down, Robbie got the boxes from the loft and brought them downstairs, the sight of the boxes cleared the lounge instantly, I felt like 'Billy No Mates' - even the cats scarpered! Robbie went off to the kitchen to feed the cats and get on with the routine jobs while and I spent the next couple of hours taking down and packing away the Christmas Tree and the decorations. The room looks really bare now so perhaps it this would be a good time to redecorate. On the other hand redecorating the kitchen is long overdue so that has to be my highest priority. 

There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in. ~Graham Greene

I have been working on a project, it is a rather belated project now because it should have been completed in time for my son's 18th birthday on 20th of December, but I was feeling so poorly that time got the better of me. I am creating a photo scrapbook for my son with photos and memories from my son's childhood. 

I spent ages choosing photos, the hardest part was deciding what not to include. Then when they were printed I had so much trimming and cutting out to do that my fingers ached for days afterwards. Now I am busy arranging the photos and creating the scrapbook - it takes ages to get it looking just right, but he is worth the effort. 

As I look at all the photos I can't help wondering where all the years have gone. How did that angelic looking little chap grow up so fast, it only seems like a few years ago that he played a shepherd in the nativity play at nursery and he walked in swinging his lamb around by the tail!

Here is an extract from my diary dated March 2004 when my son was nine, as you can see life with him has never been dull.

"As we were coming back from Music School at lunchtime my son said "I have my usual maths and English homework, but there is something else this week; I have to catch a worm because Monday is take a worm to school day" 
He went on to explain that they are making a wormery. Surely my life is complicated enough without having to go out and dig for worms! I urged him to wait until Sunday afternoon before collecting his worm, but being a boy he just couldn't wait and when I was working in the kitchen he brought in a large worm and put it into my hand. I was prevailed upon to provide a suitable container for it, and over the next hour or so I was introduced to five or six more worms in assorted sizes. 

At teatime all my efforts to change the subject were
thwarted and we were treated to a lecture from my son on the reproductive habits of the earthworm. His understanding of the term hermaphrodite was rather sketchy, and my memories of `O' Level Biology were too limited to be useful. Sam concluded in his deep and serious voice (which always makes me want to laugh) "I think it really means that they don't enjoy themselves very much!"

We had a bit of a disagreement at bedtime when I realised that the little terror had taken the worms to bed with him. When I refused to allow him to have them on his bedside table. He said "mum, you can't put them outside, they are part of the family now" We compromised and they are spending the night in the shed (in their container). I must remember to thank his teachers for completely disrupting our weekend."

My son has always loved animals, so our pets all have a place in the scrapbook. I thought I had got all the photos for the album but Dave the cat had other ideas, I think he wants to make sure that he will be included. He posed for this photo (he is wearing my son's hat) and it is so cute that I have to include it.

If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.  ~Tom Stoppard

A Stressful Week

The last week was one of the most stressful for a long time, there were a number of things going on but mostly we were worried about my mum, she was in hospital all week following her fall. I didn't know which way to turn, I needed to spend time with my mum and support her, but I also needed to help my step father who is ill and frail and not used to being on his own. Then there were the ordinary demands of life to be considered, going to work, feeding the family and trying my best to keep on top of the house work. I seemed to rush from one task to the next with no time to stop and think – perhaps that was a good thing! 

My mum had a deep wound on her head which was surrounded by a large area of severe bruising; they were worried that the force of my mum’s fall may have caused a bleed into the brain. The wait for the brain scan seemed endless, but thankfully it showed that we have hard heads in our family, there was no damage to her brain. More tests were necessary to determine why she blacked out, it seems her blood pressure is very high but at times her pulse becomes dangerously low. This may necessitate a pacemaker, but in the short term she has been sent home to recover from her fall and to stabilise her blood pressure with medication. 

We picked her up from hospital on Friday evening and settled her in at home before going home to pack the car and do all the last minute jobs in preparation for our holiday. I was disconcerted but too tired to argue when Robbie announced that he was packing the Lego men. It left me wondering about his priorities because at that stage he still hadn’t packed his underwear!

Therefore let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober - 1 Thessalonians 5:6 King James Version

Robbie wanted to go out on Friday evening, I wasn't keen because he'd had a very challenging week and I knew that he was very tired and struggling to cope with pain from his back and legs. However it was the anniversary of his friend's death and he needed to meet with other friends to remember better times. I begged him not to be too late home because I was tired too and I didn't want to be too late to bed.

We had spoken on the phone before he went out and I kept my mobile close to me hoping that he would remember his promise not to be too late. It remained silent all evening so I sent him a text to say that I was going to bed and he should ring me when he needed a lift. I sat in bed listening to the radio and doing some writing on my netbook, trying to stay awake. He finally rang to say that he needed picking up at midnight and I asked him to ring me again when he got to Rugby just to make sure that I hadn't dozed off. Time marched on and no call came, so I set off for the station, I thought Robbie had just forgotten ring. 

When I got to the station I began to worry that Robbie may have fallen asleep, so I rang him several times and sent texts for him to contact me, but there was no reply. A stream of people wandered wearily around to the car park indicating that Robbie's train was in, I looked and looked but there was no Robbie. After a brief flurry of activity the car park was still and silent again and I was still there waiting. Time passed very slowly but eventually a few more weary travellers came into view, another train had arrived, but after a brief moment of hope my heart sank, there was no sign of Robbie. By this time I was seriously worried, my mind raced, perhaps he'd had a bad fall, perhaps he had even fallen under a train ........... Finally the truth became clear, a rather confused text from Robbie revealed that he had fallen asleep on the train and ended up in Buckinghamshire. A phone call followed and a rather unhappy Robbie admitted that it would be a long wait for him to make his way back. I wasn't best pleased, but at least he was safe, so I couldn't be too angry. We finally got home at about 2am - not the best start to a weekend! 

Where have all the years gone?

I can remember exactly what I was doing 21 years ago yesterday, I was giving birth to my daughter. I remember it vividly because my husband complained that he couldn't cope with the labour because his chair was uncomfortable - I would willingly have swapped places!! I didn't realise at the time that our second daughter was born on the anniversary of the queen's coronation, I was more concerned that she would be young in her year when she went to school (which has not caused her any problems). Having a birthday in early June has was a good thing because it coincided with half term and we were always on holiday in Cornwall for her birthday. We have some very special memories of beech birthdays and trips to the pony centre to see her favourite pony Munchkin. 


The first time that I realised that there was a connection with the queen was in 2002 when the queen celebrated her golden jubilee. We were in Cornwall and we had a wonderful view of the beacon that was lit a Trevose Head, there was a firework display too. This time my daughter went to London on the day before her birthday to celebrate with her friend and to enjoy some of the excitement of the jubilee celebrations. I think she rather likes sharing her special day with the queen.


Significant anniversaries always leave me wondering where all the time has gone. How can my little girl be 21? it doesn't seem possible. I have so many happy memories (and embarrassing photos) of those growing up years and I am very proud of the young woman she has become. On the subject of embarrassing photos, there are a couple of me dressed as Britannia for the queen's silver jubilee, where has the time gone. I expect the queen asks herself the same question when she looks back on her long reign. It can't be easy to live your life in the spotlight with people feeling that they have the right to criticise and comment on every aspect of her life. We may not have a perfect system, but when I look around and see what other countries have instead, I am glad that we have a monarchy.

The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers - Thomas Jefferson

There are many things that I love about Robbie, but his choice of newspaper is is not one of them. I detest the thing I resent the waste of paper and I resent the waste of money, I would rather he spent it on a railway magazine, even if he spent it on  Lego or any of his other many and varied obsessions it wouldn't seem so pointless. I have managed to change or modify many things about Robbie over the years, but he remains stubbornly attached to his limp lefty newspaper, so I do my best to ignore it.

Yesterday evening we settled down in the lounge, me with my laptop and Robbie across the room with his newspaper. I was lost in my own little world writing the blog when I glanced up to see Robbie holding his phone out to the cat, and more worrying still the cat was looking at it as if he was reading a text! I asked Robbie what he was doing and with a totally serious expression he said that he was showing the cat the time to prove that he had to wait another hour until feeding time. 

I shook my head in disbelief and settled back to writing the blog. A little later completely out of the blue Robbie asked "How much does mum pay for David's socks these days". It seemed such an odd question that I had to ask him to repeat it in case I hadn't heard him properly. I told Robbie that I have never given a passing thought to the price of my step father's socks - but thanks to Robbie I have now! Once he get's started on a subject there is no stopping him and I heard all about the advantages of loose top socks, a very good deal he had spotted; the price, the colour, it went on an on until I begged him to stop.

Finally he was quiet and I went back to what I was doing. Peace reigned for a little while, then Robbie's voice rang out asking "Have you noticed that you don't often see radishes in the supermarket these days?" I thought about it for a minute and decided to try my luck with a one word answer - no! It was worth a try, but it just encouraged him to provide more radish related information. I listened for a while but I really couldn't summon up much interest in radishes. I asked if he had ever eaten a radish and he informed me that he hadn't. I informed him that he hadn't missed much! I told him that if he was that interested I would buy him some radishes, but he quickly declined and told me that it just was something he had been reading about. 

So now yo know why I dislike that dratted newspaper, it puts ridiculous ideas in his head!

To the Farm Shop and Beyond

Robbie was really tired and in a lot of pain at the weekend, it had been a very long and challenging week. We didn't have the energy to go racing around finding exciting things to do, but it does you good to get out and do something different. So after dealing with all the routine household tasks we got in the car and took the scenic route through the Northamptonshire countryside to the farm shop. We are very lucky to live in such an attractive county, I always find the beautiful views and the happy memories associated with the little bit of the county that we visited on Saturday very uplifting. 


When we got to the Farm Shop Robbie went off in search of dripping and he was very excited when he found it because they didn't have any last time. We had a look round and chose some free range eggs (the main reason for our visit). Then as we approached the payment desk Robbie noticed some pork scratchings which he absolutely had to have. I thought he was teasing me at first, I didn't know that people actually eat them, I thought they were pet treats or something. Apparently I was wrong, according to Robbie they are a great delicacy but they don't look or smell like something I would want to taste! 


I tried to ignore the chomping noises coming from the passenger seat on the journey back to Northampton but it was challenging. Apparently it is not possible to eat pork scratchings quietly, and he was not amused when I suggested that maybe he should suck them instead! My disapproval didn't seem to spoil his enjoyment because the chomping was interrupted every so often by little expressions of delight and the word "Bostin". Not a word that we are familiar with in Northampton!


According to the Urban Dictionary Bostin means 'brilliant; fantastic; excellent; derived from the Anglo-Saxon 'bosten', meaning 'something to boast about' and now used almost exclusively in the Greater Birmingham area of the UK'


I can't complain too much about Robbie's treats, he bought me a can of Root Beer on Friday (as a thank you for supporting him through a very difficult week).
It was heaven, I love Root Beer, but I know it is not good for me. I also know that Robbie's treats are not good for him, which is why they are only very occasional purchases. 


I don't want to make it sound as if our whole day revolved around food, but later that afternoon we went out for a meal. Just something very ordinary, but it was special because we were together and for once we had a couple of hours without any other demands on our time.

Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once. Lillian Dickson

Last Monday it was a case of coming back down to earth with a bump. I knew that after having Robbie at home for just over two weeks it was going to be hard for both of us to readjust to the demands of our usual weekday routine. I hate the early starts, even on a good day 5am feels like the middle of the night!


Robbie loves his job and usually after a couple of weeks off he can't wait to get back to work, but this time it was different. The prospect of some very tight deadlines when he got back would usually have made him more eager to return, but not this time. He could happily have taken another couple of weeks off. I think  his time off gave us a chance to learn (or re-learn) some very valuable lessons. For most of that time I still had to work and to attend to my usual daily responsibilities, so we couldn't go away - who wants to go away in February anyway! Instead we learnt to take pleasure in the ordinary little things in everyday life and to value what we have. Most important of all, we enjoyed the luxury of time. We had a lot of fun, we took time to visit and appreciate some of the interesting places on our own doorstep and we had time for each other. 


That was the easy bit, the secret is to make sure that we hang on to those important things when back on the treadmill of normal life. Last week was hard, perhaps harder than either of us expected, but we were strong and together we got through it. This week will have it's trials too, not least because Robbie is in so much pain, but we will deal with it together. We will make time to talk, to laugh and to enjoy special moments even on the most challenging day.

We stored up so many good memories while Robbie was off work. On the last day of his leave we went to the Rural Shopping Yard at Castle Ashby. It was like a spring afternoon, and we had a lovely time. Robbie bought some real ale mustard from the deli and there was even a shop named after him - Mr B's Traditional Sweet Shop. It was fun looking at the shops and enjoying the beautiful countryside but what made it really special was sharing the experience with Robbie.

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” Charles Swindoll

Back Again!

By Wednesday we were getting used to the lazy mornings and making the most of them, it was such a nice day that I wanted to freeze time and keep it like this for ever. I know that Robbie loves his work, but I will really miss him next week and I will not see much of him because he will be busy making up for lost time. It was lunchtime before we were ready to go out, we had one or two errands to do, doctors, chemist etc, but after that we had the day to ourselves. 

One thing that Robbie is very good at is twisting me around his little finger, I find it really hard to say no to him because I want him to be happy. We were chatting about the Doc Shop and the lovely day that we'd had and we both regretted that he hadn't bought the other pair of boots that he liked. They were tan Chelsea boots at such a good price that it seemed like madness to miss the chance of buying them, so we headed back to Wollaston (by a different but equally scenic route) and he had an early birthday present!

We drove home via Castle Ashby, Robbie loved the scenery and the rural shopping yard. He got lots of pleasure from wandering around taking photos. We had only been doing fairly ordinary things but it was such a nice day, I really didn't want it to end. 

He Got The Call!

It has been almost a week since I last wrote the blog. Robbie and I have had time off work together and it has been really special, we have had such a good time that the blog just had to wait! So I have a bit of catching up to do...........


Saturday
I was determined that I would not let the day slip through my fingers as so often happens on a Saturday, so I set my alarm to wake me up at a reasonable hour and I made my mind up to enjoy the day to the full. The alarm went off and as soon as I popped my head out from under the covers I knew that it was distinctly chilly. I managed a brief dash to the bathroom before retreating back under the covers. It was nice to sit in bed snug and warm with my laptop while listening to the radio. There is something very special about the luxury of time and the freedom to do whatever floats your boat. In my life, time is a rare commodity so it is extra special to have days of total freedom stretching ahead of me. Robbie made good use of his time - snuggled under the covers exploring the land of nod!


After a very enjoyable morning and a lazy lunch the phone rang and Robbie's eyes lit up when he realised who was calling. It was the optician to tell him that his new glasses were ready for collection. I have never seen him move so fast, one minute he had been trotting around the house in his 'smalls' Homer style, the next he was 'fully booted and spurred' and ready to go and collect his glasses. We rarely go to town on a Saturday (I don't cope well with crowded places) but it was a very pleasant couple of hours. Robbie's choice of glasses was fairly reserved by his standards, both pairs have a little hint of the unconventional, but you have to look carefully to spot it. Once we'd collected the glasses we had time to visit the bookshop and then enjoy a visit to Costa. 

On the way home Robbie spotted a sign for a shop that sells vinyl records. The excitement was almost too much for him, it was too late to visit the shop that day but it is high on his 'to do' list for the week ahead. 

Stopping to Look Both Ways

We have had a lovely Christmas this year, nice food to eat, nice presents, but most important of all we were able to enjoy time with the people we love. We always have good intentions but life can be so busy that far too long can slip by without us spending quality time with family and friends. So the Christmas break has been especially important to us, we have enjoyed special moments with our wider family. It is rare that we are all together at the same time so that makes it extra special. After all the activity and chaos of Christmas, Robbie and I appreciated a few days of quiet with nothing much to do and all day to do it. Usually our days start very early, so not being ruled by the alarm clock has been fantastic and I think it has done us both good to have time to unwind. Despite all the pre Christmas stress, I have really enjoyed this Christmas break and I will be sorry to see Robbie return to work tomorrow.


I am not a fan of new year celebrations. It always seems rather sad to be closing the door on the old year and I look ahead to the new year with a certain amount of trepidation, wondering what new worries and challenges it has in store. It is odd really as I am not a pessimist and I tend to take most of the ups and downs of life in my stride, I think mostly it is just fear of the unknown. Every year the world changes a little bit, situations change, new people come into our lives and some become very important, and sadly other people are lost from our lives. As the year draws to a close we remember the familiar faces no longer with us who have brightened our lives in various ways. We may not know them personally but we are touched by their loss and we will miss them. Perhaps I am just getting old but it seems to me that we have said too many goodbyes in the last year. Among those that I will miss most are George Baker who brought Inspector Wexford to life, Jimmy Saville because there was no one quite like him, Peter Falk because I loved Colombo, David Croft who wrote Dads Army as well as other great comedy shows and brought so much pleasure, Billie Jo Spears because I loved her voice, and Edward Hardwicke who I will always think of as Dr Watson.

A Railway Rant

Robbie has been really struggling mobility wise recently, in fact at the end of last week he was so bad that he simply couldn't make it to work and he had to work from home. This week it has been a real struggle for him but he has got himself to work. At times like this he has to plan his journey even more carefully than usual, making sure that he travels on a train that gives him more leg room and planning his return journey so that it works well with his bus connections and does not involve an excessive amount of standing around in the the cold. 


Yesterday his train home was running on time, but it was delayed at Rugby to allow a freight train that was running late to go ahead of the passenger train. This caused great inconvenience to the passengers as the train arrived at Northampton 12 minutes late. Meaning that Robbie missed his bus - and at that time in the evening buses are not very frequent. He was forced to walk to the bus station, a long walk when you are in pain, all up hill, and just to make matters worse it was freezing cold and raining heavily. By this time he had missed his connecting bus too, so he had a long cold wait at the bus station. It was passed 9.30pm when he eventually got home, and by then he was in agony.


Unfortunately this issue of a passenger train being delayed at Rugby in favour of a late freight train is a frequent problem for passengers. Robbie expressed his frustration (rather mildly in the circumstances) on facebook. He was met with a barrage of criticism from one person who works for a company which until now I have trusted and respected. Among his various unhelpful comments was a suggestion that Robbie should just put up with it and that he detested passengers claiming compensation because it takes money out of the railways. He also said 'thats the joy of public transport' and 'if you don't like it get a car' I was staggered by his attitude, it makes me wonder how many other people think like that. It certainly makes me wonder if the company he works for shares his lack of respect for passengers! Passengers have paid for a service and they should complain when things go wrong, especially if the same problem happens often. It is the only way to make rail operators understand how much inconvenience it causes and hopefully this in turn will lead to better service. It really isn't about compensation, nothing could compensate for such a miserable end to Robbie's day. If a train is delayed by a tragedy or by problems arising from bad weather that's one thing, and most passengers would be understanding about that, but to deliberately delay a passenger train that was running on time to accommodate a late running freight train has to be wrong. 


I understand that the railway has many customers and freight companies need to make a living too, but whatever the rules say, it is not unreasonable for passengers to expect their trains to be punctual and to expect that consideration will be given to their needs.  

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

I have been asked that question a number of times in the last few weeks. My birthday was coming up and for some obscure reason people seem to think that it is cause to celebrate. It is a really difficult question to answer, because I really don't want anything. We have far too many 'things' already and there is nothing that I really need and I can't have the things I would really like.


More than anything I would like to be able to turn back time. Not to get rid of the wrinkles or because I am worried about my grey hairs, I don't care that much about either of those things. After all living with Robbie is bound to cause a few grey hairs - OK, I admit to more than a few grey hairs! I would like to turn back time because there are people who aren't here that should be and you can't help wishing that things could be different. Anyway things change, and I have to hang on to the fact that there are important people in my life now, such as my lovely nephews and niece who would be there if I turned back time. I guess the moral is that you have to live in the present and enjoy the people and things in your life now, then at least you carry special memories into the future with you.

I think my best ever birthday present was probably my first pony Geme. He had such a character and there was a very special bond between us for the rest of his life. The bond that develops between a young rider and her pony is very special. It is not the relationship with a dog or other pet because it involves a different level of trust and understanding. It is difficult to explain the closeness between horse and rider, it is not just an emotional bond, it is a physical communication.The rider understands and responds to every movement of the horse and the horse recognises and reacts to the movements and signals of the rider. The partnership depends on a large degree of trust and respect.


The joy of riding and the feeling of being at one with the pony brings a lot of pleasure, the thrill of cantering across a field and the gentler enjoyment of ambling along a lane in tune with the world around you. Horse riding gives you a lot of thinking time, it enables people to process thoughts and mull over problems, riding is good for your soul as well as for your mind and body.


I think my best birthday present as an adult was a video that I was given on my 41st birthday. My husband had borrowed some old cine film from my mum and had it transferred to video. I'd never seen the footage before and when I watched it I was confronted with my younger self laughing, playing and enjoying life. I was a spectator at my own first birthday party and I saw my grandmothers and my dad alive and well doing all the ordinary things that I only half remembered. Watching the video was a very emotional experience, but it was so precious, it was like being given back a little bit of my past. 

A room without books is like a body without a soul - Cicero

I had such a good time on Saturday. For me it was a Robbie free day because he was out playing trains - nothing new there! A couple of months ago my friend took me to visit the most amazing place, it is called Astley Book Farm and it is the largest second hand book shop in the Midlands. I loved it and I promised myself that I would go back when I had plenty of time to brose. I told my daughter Emily about it and she wanted to go as well, so we planned our trip for Saturday. To say that Emily shares my love of books would be an understatement, I have never seen anyone so excited about visiting a bookshop! 


It was a nice morning and we had a nice drive to the book farm, we got there fairly early so that we had plenty of time to explore every section of the shop. It is an amazing place, just when you think you have got to the end of the shop you find a doorway or turning opening on to another section. Emily soon found the English language section and she was in her element, crouched on the floor looking at every book that took her fancy. I wandered off and soon I had found two or three books that would make perfect Christmas presents. I was having a great time and I felt virtuous too, it is only September and I have started my Christmas shopping! 

Emily was still sitting on the floor reading text books when I wandered past ten minutes later. She excitedly offered me a book, it was a dictionary of vulgarity in 
old English, that girl is passionate about language. I left her surrounded by a pile of books and headed up to the children's section in the hayloft. Who needs anti wrinkle cream when you can visit a place like this. Soon I was sitting on the floor rediscovering treasures from my childhood including Sam Pig, My Naughty Little Sister and many more. Emily came up to join me and we rekindled memories from her childhood too. 


Considerably later I made my way down from the hayloft and headed for the transport section clutching the pile of books that I intended to buy. There was a whole section on railway books so I happily whiled away another half an hour looking at some amazing books. I selected a book about the railway companies pre nationalisation, it is a lovely book and it was very reasonably priced.


By then my friend had arrived so we paid for our books and put them in the car before going to the coffee shop for a cup of tea and a natter. Afterwards we had a last look around and we bought a couple more things before going back to my friend's house for a while. I really enjoyed the whole day, it is nice to spend some quality time with my daughter, and I always enjoy spending time with my friend. The added enjoyment of the bookshop turned it into a perfect day. I must take time to do more things like this.

On Target

In a way I had been dreading Thursday morning, what if the unthinkable happened, what would I do then? The problem was that I was not in control, I had done my best or at least I thought I had, but this wasn't about me. All I could do was get on with my morning and wait for the phone to ring. 


At last the phone took pity on me and rang. A rather cheerful voice at the other end informed me that he had passed. He had some very pleasing results and most important of all he had got more than enough to get into the sixth form of his choice. After a huge sigh of relief, I was the proud mum full of congratulations and cross with myself for my moments of doubt.


So why was I so anxious, I don't recall being this nervous when his sisters got their results. He is every bit as bright and able as his sisters, but perhaps not as diligent. The girls were able to continue to the sixth form at the same school, but 'the son who must remain nameless' wanted to change schools. We all agreed that it would be the best option for him, and he had been offered a place at the better school (the one his sisters attended) but he needed at least 8 good GCSE grades in order to take up his place. Perhaps it isn't so surprising that I was anxious, so much depended on his results.


Today I took 'the nameless one' to the new school for a meeting to sort out his timetable and do all the necessary  paperwork before starting school a week on Tuesday. He will be one of only a handful of boys at an all girls school, but I am certain it is the right place for him. It is not always easy for him to cope with ordinary things because of his Asperger Syndrome, but the next couple of years will be very important not just in achieving good A level results but in helping him to become independent enough to thrive at university. 

Homeward Bound

Sunday morning dawned and I woke up much too early, for a while I just lay there listening to the sounds of the sea and wishing that I could turn back time. I wanted to see my son and daughters, but the prospect of returning to the real world with all its worries seemed daunting to say the least. Before long I was busy packing up our last items of luggage and our holiday was well and truly over. There wasn't very much to pack so I took time to take a little walk along the coast path to say goodbye to the sea. I stood for a moment to try to imprint all the sounds and smells of the beach on my memory so that when I look back at my photos I will be transported back to this time in my mind. 


All too soon it was time to leave the bungalow, but we had one last treat to look forward to, Sunday lunch in Mundesley with my mum and step father. It was roast beef, my absolute favourite, Robbie likes it too, but he is not too keen on vegetables, under pressure from me he made a token effort and added a teaspoon full of peas to his plate leaving me to enjoy a lovely selection of vegetables. After a last look around Mundesley Robbie set the sat nav to 'home' and we set off on our journey back to reality. 


The sat nav took us on an interesting and attractive route that was suspiciously like the route we took the previous week when we went to the North Norfolk Railway. Sure enough the sat nav led us to Holt and right past the turning to the railway, we didn't stop but Robbie had time to see the double decker bus that they have. He swears that it was just the way that the sat nav chose to take us, but I am not so sure. I think he has found an application that takes us past as many railway landmarks as possible. We passed level crossings, railway bridges and various other railway related points of interest - next time I will take control of the sat nav!