Most people say that my mum and I are not alike at all. She loves to shop but I don't, she loves clothes and fashion but I am not interested in clothes at all, she likes bright colours while I prefer blues and greys, she loves to go out but I prefer to stay in. People who know us better know that if you ignore the superficial differences we are very similar. We both have a steely determination, family comes first for both of us, neither of us suffer fools gladly and we both have a bit of a reputation for 'telling it as it is', in fact we can both be a but scary when the need arises!
My mum is 82 years young and she still likes to shop until she drops, or to be more accurate until I drop! My daughter (who is 21) has taken her shopping a few times recently and after an afternoon shopping with Grandma she has arrived home absolutely exhausted. The last time they went clothes shopping together Grandma arrived home with lots of new clothes including two pairs of skinny jeans, one red and one deep pink!
My mum and Robbie are allies when it comes to clothes and shoes. They don't have the same tastes but they both love bright colours and they both like to be a bit different, they don't slavishly follow fashion but they love clothes and they share a passion for shoes. The other day Robbie wore his new waxed canvas Dr Marten boots when we went to see mum and she said that she would like to have a look at the Doc Shop. I was rather surprised, but Robbie jumped at the chance of another visit to the Doc Shop and a shopping trip was arranged.
So this morning we picked my mum up and took the scenic route past Castle Ashby and on through Grendon to Wollaston and the Doc Shop. I didn't think that my mum would like anything but it wouldn't have been a wasted journey because I needed to exchange a pair of shoes that I bought last weekend. My prediction was wrong, my mum loved the Doc Shop, she bought two pairs of shoes and a pair of boots! In fact it took me all my time to persuade her not to buy a pair of bright yellow 1461s - I am not a fan of yellow! She bought a pair of high mauve wedges, a pair of deep pink loafers and a pair of suede boots knee length boots. I think I will have two people nagging me to take them to the Doc Shop from now on!
When we finished at the Doc Shop we drove to Philadelphus Jeyes at Earls Barton. Mum loved having a look around at all the different departments, but most of all she enjoyed a welcome cup of tea and a snack at the Apothocoffee Shop. She bought a couple of new jigsaws, a recipe book, and a few other bits and bobs. I think she enjoyed her shopping trip.
Be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time of your life it may occur ~Muriel Spark
The last week was one of the most stressful for a long time, there were a number of things going on but mostly we were worried about my mum, she was in hospital all week following her fall. I didn't know which way to turn, I needed to spend time with my mum and support her, but I also needed to help my step father who is ill and frail and not used to being on his own. Then there were the ordinary demands of life to be considered, going to work, feeding the family and trying my best to keep on top of the house work. I seemed to rush from one task to the next with no time to stop and think – perhaps that was a good thing!
My mum had a deep wound on her head which was surrounded by a large area of severe bruising; they were worried that the force of my mum’s fall may have caused a bleed into the brain. The wait for the brain scan seemed endless, but thankfully it showed that we have hard heads in our family, there was no damage to her brain. More tests were necessary to determine why she blacked out, it seems her blood pressure is very high but at times her pulse becomes dangerously low. This may necessitate a pacemaker, but in the short term she has been sent home to recover from her fall and to stabilise her blood pressure with medication.
We picked her up from hospital on Friday evening and settled her in at home before going home to pack the car and do all the last minute jobs in preparation for our holiday. I was disconcerted but too tired to argue when Robbie announced that he was packing the Lego men. It left me wondering about his priorities because at that stage he still hadn’t packed his underwear!
The title for this post is a Moorish Proverb, I like the imagery and it seemed like an ideal title for a post about Mothers Day. I had a lovely day on Sunday, the girls (with a little help from their brother) cooked a roast beef dinner and it was really nice, the carrots were fantastic and I am not usually a fan of carrots. They bought me a beautiful locket too, so I felt extremely spoilt.
In the afternoon we all went to see my mum, spending Sunday afternoon with her and my stepfather has become a bit of a family tradition. My brother and my nephew usually pop in too and it is lovely to have an unhurried couple of hours with all the people that I love most. My mum takes pleasure in feeding people, and she and Robbie have developed a mutual admiration, he loves her cakes and she is pleased that her baking brings so much pleasure. On Sunday he tucked in to her legendary pineapple cake, but he likes everything that she cooks. I think almond tarts are my favourite, mum makes amazing pastry. We bought mum a CD and a book for Mothers Day, and the girls bought her some lovely flowers, she loves flowers, but I am not keen on having flowers in the house, I don't like watching them die.
My mum and I are different in so many ways, she loves fashion and always wears bright colours, she is passionate about jewellery, she likes having her hair done, she wears make up always because it makes her feel good, she loves to shop and she likes going out. Those who know me will know that I am not like that, I couldn't be less interested in fashion, and I don't like bright colours. I like blues and greys and I tend to stick with colours I am comfortable with. In my late teens I remember having a brief phase when I liked brown, my mum was horrified, she said "you can wear that when you are dead!" but she has always respected my right to express myself my way. I would rather have my teeth drilled than tolerate anyone messing with my hair, I hardly wear any make up and I detest shopping. Given the choice I prefer to be at home rather than going out. We are different but in the things that matter we are very similar, family always comes first with mum and she has always been there to share our joys and our sorrows. She taught me that women can do anything they put their mind to and they can do it better than men because women read the instructions first! She taught me to keep trying and never to be beaten by circumstances, she gave me the confidence to be me , to stand up for what I believe and not just follow the crowd, and she gave me values and standards to live by. So you see we are not so different after all! My mum is not really the sort of mum to give advice, she just teaches by example, but I do recall one little gem of wisdom from around the time of my first marriage "men are like dogs, if you don't train them young you will always have problems" - so that's where I went wrong with Robbie!!
It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. From the television show The Golden Girls
I think I have mentioned before that I have been giving my mum some extra help since David my step dad was ill, he can't drive for the next few months and mum can no longer drive because her sight has deteriorated too much. It is nice to spend more time with my mum but shopping with her is exhausting, it is as bad as shopping with Laura – we have to go everywhere and look at everything. In fact my mum is like a very old teenager sometimes. A couple of weeks ago she wanted to but some ankle boots because the ones that she wears when she takes the dogs for a walk are worn out. When we got to the shoe shop she was clear that she needed a nit of a heel on them because 'she is not ready for flat shoes just yet' we spotted a couple of suitable pairs and I left her to try them on while I had a look around. She seemed to be taking a long time so I went back to see what she was up to. She was fine, she couldn't resist trying on some stiletto boots as well because they looked so nice. I hope I will be like her when I am 78!
