When one jumps over the edge, one is bound to land somewhere.

“When one jumps over the edge, one is bound to land somewhere.” – D. H. Lawrence

I found this quote while I was looking for something completely different. It stayed in my mind because it because it evokes an interesting image. It is self evident that a person who jumps over the edge will land somewhere, but it is not very reassuring. Most of us like a little more certainty, we need to know where we are heading. Taking a leap into the unknown is very scary but sometimes it is the right thing to do.


According to the National Trust young people are missing out on childhood adventures because they are not getting outside. In order to get children outdoors and to encourage a spirit of adventure they have come up with a list of 50 things to do before you are 11¾.

OK, I know it is a bit late for me, but it is an interesting list. I have done most of the things on the list and I had almost certainly ticked off most of them before the age of 11¾, I was a bit of a tomboy. There are a couple of things that I would add to the list. Shelling peas - and finding the occasional wriggling maggot inside. Making a den among the bales in the hay barn, that one is a lot harder these days because we don't have small bales any more, and it would almost certainly be contravene health and safety regulations.


The list led me to think of things that I should do before I get too old to manage it or too forgetful to remember it. I found all sorts of suggestions on the internet, but nothing really captured my imagination. Perhaps I have already got all the wacky, wild and weird things out of my system, or perhaps I am just plain boring. I think having Robbie in my life brings enough craziness to last a lifetime!I commented to my son that it would be fun to be an embarrassment to my children just once in my life. He gave me a long stare, raised one eyebrow and informed me that I could already tick that one off my list! 

I have no great desire to travel or to achieve anything spectacular. It would be nice to have a tidy house, that has been a work in progress for the last 20 years! Perhaps I will achieve it before I die. It would be nice to be debt free, another work in progress, at least the end of the mortgage is not too many years ahead. Robbie have always talked about having a VW camper van when we are older, it would give us the freedom to go wherever the mood takes us. Knowing Robbie we would never stray far from the railway. I have always dreamed of spending a whole summer (or even longer) by the sea. Perhaps that dream will come true one day, who knows. It is nice to dream, but long as my family are happy, healthy and safe I will be content. 

A Man is Not Old Until Regrets Take the Place of Dreams.

On Friday Robbie got onto the subject of Crackerjack (a children's television show), he asked me if I remembered who used to present it. I told him that I didn't watch it (I have never enjoyed game shows) but something at the back of my mind made me think that Eamonn Andrews presented it at one time. Robbie laughed and said I must be confused, he reeled off a couple of other names that meant nothing to me and he was incredulous that I didn't know who they were. He decided to look it up and he found that I was right, in the very early days Crackerjack was indeed presented by Eamonn Andrews, but not at a time when I could have watched it. I don't know how I knew about him being the presenter it must have been one of those pointless fragments of knowledge that we gather over a lifetime.  Robbie informed me that Michael Aspel had presented it for a while in the early 1970s. It did stir vague memories, but when he mentioned someone called Stu Francis I had no idea who he was talking about. When Robbie announced the dates that he presented the show I was forced to point out that I would have left school by then and would not have been watching children's television. This gave him plenty of scope to tease me about being old - he takes a wicked pleasure in making me feel ancient!


Without really meaning to Robbie left me feeling old and past it (whatever 'it' might be). It set me thinking about what old really means. As a child on the rare occasions that I was brave enough to ask my grandma how old she was, she would tell me that she was as old as her tongue and a little bit older than her teeth. I was never brave enough to point out that she was considerably older than her teeth - she had a new and rather wayward set of dentures! My mum (who was 29 when I was born) always claimed to be 23, in fact she remained 23 until she was well into her 50s!! My younger daughter longed to be 18 so that she could be an adult and do all the things she wanted to do. My older daughter who is 22 was furious the other day when she was asked for ID to buy a DVD with a 12 classification! She hates looking younger than her years. 


So it seems to me that most people are not totally happy with their age, that is just the way life is. It is no wonder that I feel old when I have to cope with Robbie and his many and varied moods. You should have seen him today, he had a massive strop because he sat on some bird poo, but thankfully his bad mood didn't last too long. One way or the other life with Robbie is always eventful! Perhaps I have a few (or more) grey hairs, perhaps I am getting old, who cares. John Barrymore said "A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams" I am not ready to give up on my dreams, so by that measure I am still young!