Everyone is the age of their heart ~ Guatemalan Proverb

Most people say that my mum and I are not alike at all. She loves to shop but I don't, she loves clothes and fashion but I am not interested in clothes at all, she likes bright colours while I prefer blues and greys, she loves to go out but I prefer to stay in. People who know us better know that if you ignore the superficial differences we are very similar. We both have a steely determination, family comes first for both of us, neither of us suffer fools gladly and we both have a bit of a reputation for 'telling it as it is', in fact we can both be a but scary when the need arises! 

My mum is 82 years young and she still likes to shop until she drops, or to be more accurate until I drop! My daughter (who is 21) has taken her shopping a few times recently and after an afternoon shopping with Grandma she has arrived home absolutely exhausted. The last time they went clothes shopping together Grandma arrived home with lots of new clothes including two pairs of skinny jeans, one red and one deep pink!

My mum and Robbie are allies when it comes to clothes and shoes. They don't have the same tastes but they both love bright colours and they both like to be a bit different, they don't slavishly follow fashion but they love clothes and they share a passion for shoes. The other day Robbie wore his new waxed canvas Dr Marten boots when we went to see mum and she said that she would like to have a look at the Doc Shop. I was rather surprised, but Robbie jumped at the chance of another visit to the Doc Shop and a shopping trip was arranged.

So this morning we picked my mum up and took the scenic route past Castle Ashby and on through Grendon to Wollaston and the Doc Shop. I didn't think that my mum would like anything but it wouldn't have been a wasted journey because I needed to exchange a pair of shoes that I bought last weekend. My prediction was wrong, my mum loved the Doc Shop, she bought two pairs of shoes and a pair of boots! In fact it took me all my time to persuade her not to buy a pair of bright yellow 1461s - I am not a fan of yellow! She bought a pair of high mauve wedges, a pair of deep pink loafers and a pair of suede boots knee length boots. I think I will have two people nagging me to take them to the Doc Shop from now on!

When we finished at the Doc Shop we drove to Philadelphus Jeyes at Earls Barton. Mum loved having a look around at all the different departments, but most of all she enjoyed a welcome cup of tea and a snack at the Apothocoffee Shop. She bought a couple of new jigsaws, a recipe book, and a few other bits and bobs. I think she enjoyed her shopping trip.

Be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time of your life it may occur ~Muriel Spark

“Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn” - Orson Welles

My son persuaded me that he absolutely had to have new clothes ready for the start of term. He is in the final year of sixth form so he doesn't have to wear uniform and he doesn't seem to have grown since the end of last term but it seems that he can't possibly cope with the clothes that he already has. So one day last week I had the joy of a shopping trip to Topman and several of his other favourite shops.

He wanted a pair if chinos, really I would have liked to just give him the money and just send him shopping on his own, but he had asked me to go with him and it is unusual for him to want us to do things together, so it was important for me to go with him. Every pair of trousers that we looked at seemed to be designed for Stretch Armstrong. Wearing them would certainly be a shape changing (and probably life changing) experience! The legs were impossibly narrow but the bottom was loose so that they give the wearer a strange bow legged look as if they have lost their horse or have had an unfortunate accident. My son assured me that they are meant to look like that, and just to be sure that I got the message he told me that old people don't understand fashion! It is so nice to have teenagers around to make me feel good about myself!!

He chose a pair of 'Stretch Armstrong' trousers with turn ups in a contrasting colour - and he dares to say that Robbie's fashion sense is weird! He then spotted another pair of trousers on the sale rail, they were the same sort of style but without the contrasting turn ups. That was the sum total of our purchases from Topman, but we still had more to buy. He chose a pair of long shorts, a patterned jumper, a pack of socks including a green pair with ducks on and one or two other bits and bobs. He was very happy with his purchases and to be fair the clothes looked better on than off, but I can't help thinking that there was a lot of truth in the words of Oscar Wilde

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months" - Oscar Wilde

Surely not!!

I have to acknowledge that I have a weakness, if Robbie wants something I find it very hard to tell him that he can't have it. I have always tried to do my very best for all my family, seeing them happy makes me happy. The difference is that Robbie wants some very odd things at times. I know that I am old and boring - my 'nearest and dearest' remind me of that often enough, but I think most people would admit that Robbie has a rather unique fashion sense, and I really don't have the words to describe his approach to colour, the only word that springs to mind is 'loud'.

Yesterday he announced that his Berghaus jacket has seen better days and it is time to get a new one. He told me he had seen a nice green one and he sent me a link so that I could look at it online. I was pleasantly surprised, it was a deep olive green, it would have looked appropriate with smart clothes but it would have looked good with casual clothes too. I told him that I liked the colour and he looked surprised. He mentioned that I don't like green, but I said that I didn't mind olive green. He looked even more surprised, then he announced that I was looking at the wrong colour. My heart sank when he directed me to his chosen colour - it was pea green! I begged him to reconsider but he said it was beautiful. I only recall one instance of pea green being described as beautiful. In Edward Lear's poem the Owl and the Pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea-green boat - but they were a very odd pair! As far as I am concerned pea-green looks good on peas, but on anything or anyone else it is a mistake.


I spent the rest of the evening trying to change his mind but I was wasting my breath. Can you imagine what it would look like if he wore that on one of 'rancid green machines' He would clash with the train and scare the passengers! So this is a plea to the select few who have more influence with Robbie than I do (you know who you are). Please take pity on me and persuade him to choose a different colour.

Living in the Past

It is half term, it seems as if they only went back to school a couple of weeks ago, but I have my son's company for the week. He (the one who likes to remain nameless) graciously agreed to come to the supermarket with me in return for a lift into town afterwards. According to him we had no food in the house and he was starving, but in reality the fridge, freezer and cupboards were well stocked; he just had a yearning for junk food and cereal. Typical!


As we drove out of the supermarket I wondered aloud if the woman at the traffic lights seriously thought that off white, skin tight almost see through leggings with a short top was a good look. I answered myself with the thought that someone should buy her a mirror for Christmas!  The nameless one in the passenger seat laughed out loud, he said "Mum, you make me laugh you are always living in the past" He went on to tell me that I didn't understand fashion, that may be true but I am fairly sure the world is not ready for sights like that!


In a way he is right, I don't live in the past but I carry it with me. It only takes a word or a look, a sound or a smell to transport me back to the people and places of my past. Sometimes a smile or a guilty look from my son reminds me so much of his dad. The smell from the brewery takes me back to my earliest years when I used to go with my aunt to deliver the church magazine in the streets that are now long gone. The sight of magnolia blossom brings back memories of my college rooms with the beautiful magnolia tree near my window. 

I came across this photo recently, I remember going to the Odeon to see the Aristocats, it was a birthday treat for one of my best friends. Looking at the Ladybird shop next door reminded me how much I disliked shopping for clothes with my mum when I was little. She has always loved fashion, but even when I was tiny I detested frills and fuss. It was a battle of wills, my mum got me to try on countless outfits and I objected to every single one. Sometimes I got my own way, but more often my mum dressed me in the clothes she liked. Among the horrors that still haunt me was the seriously unflattering ruched swimming costume and a bright red wet look raincoat that made terrible noises every time I moved. The worst by far were the orange hot pants, unlike my mum I have never been a hot pants type of person! So maybe my son is right I don't understand fashion, but I do understand that there are some sights that the world will never be ready for!!

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society - Mark Twain

My mum is an amazing woman. She loves clothes and at 80 she likes nothing better than a shopping trip with her granddaughters. When it comes to clothes shopping she loves fashion and she shops enthusiastically, she has plenty of stamina and she will happily shop all day. She likes bright cheerful colours, high shoes and matching accessories. She gave up on my fashion sense years ago; she respects my right to wear more sober styles and very little make up but just occasionally she will tell me "you can wear that when you are dead!" 

My mum finds Robbie's approach to fashion rather surprising, but she supports his right to express his individuality and to wear bright colours - but perhaps not all at once! They often chat about clothes and shoes and Robbie likes nothing better than flicking through her collection of catalogues to 'window shop'. Earlier this week he was flicking through her cotton traders catalogue and showing me the many things that he would like when suddenly he emitted a groan of delight. He said "oh yes, they would look great with some bright contrasting boots, I really want them" He thrust the catalogue in front of me to reveal that 'they' were a pair of bright red trousers. I gave him a steady stare trying to work out if he was serious - he was! He looked to my mum for support but she tactfully said there may not be many opportunities to wear red trousers. I told him that it would be a mistake, he would look like Santa on his day off - or a Smurf!! I just hope that he will see sense.

Fashion is more usually a gentle progression of revisited ideas.

I haven't seen much of Robbie since we got back from Norfolk. On Monday he went to work even earlier than usual and he was late home, then on Tuesday he got me up stupidly early because he was going to Scotland. I didn't see him again until late on Wednesday evening when he got home late in the evening. He did manage to ring me late on Tuesday evening, but it was more of a monologue on the subject of trains than a conversation. When he got home he was fairly talkative, but as usual it was all about trains, except for a brief description of the design of the lift at the hotel he stayed in and a casual mention of the type of fabric used to make the  underwear that is in the sale at Marks and Spencer. Sometimes I just wish that Robbie could be a little more 'normal'. 

I have taken time to spend some time with my son this week (the one who does not wish to be named). I missed him very much when we were on holiday, so on Monday we went shopping for things he will need for school in September. Like me he has a fascination with stationary and pens, so it was fun shopping for all that stuff. When it comes to clothes I find his fashion sense interesting and rather confusing.  According to George Bernard Shaw 'The novelties of one generation are only the resuscitated fashions of the generation before last'. That is certainly true in his case, I feel sure that my dad would have worn cardigans in the early 1960s like the ones that 'the nameless one' wanted! I had already bought some shirts and trousers for him but he wanted a couple of cardigans. I made him wait for those, partly because they were very expensive and partly he has been known to change his mind. He had waited for several weeks and he was still just as determined that they are exactly what he needs for sixth form, so we went ahead and got them. I have to admit that they look much better on him than they did in the shop. I am still not so sure about his trousers, I had just about got used to him insisting on skinny fit, but apparently carrot fit is the must have 'look'. I asked him to explain what carrot fit meant and he said that they are a new interpretation of skinny fit, 
they are are worn loose at the thigh tapering to a skinny ankle. I couldn't help asking why? To me they look very odd with a baggy bottom and the crotch only just above the knees! It certainly doesn't look very comfortable, I just hope that it doesn't give Robbie any strange ideas, he has more than enough clothing fetishes already.



'Fashion is more usually a gentle progression of revisited ideas.' Bruce Oldfield

It's Always The Badly Dressed People Who Are The Most Interesting.

The title of this post is a quote from Jean Paul Gaultier, I think he is right, but I have to remind myself of that sometimes. My children have been know to call me harsh, and I have to admit to some rather uncharitable remarks (in the privacy of my own car) when confronted by some of the sights that we encounter. Clearly some people do not possess a mirror and do not check their rear view, because if they could see what I could see they would never leave the house! I am not the least bit interested in clothes or fashion, I like comfort and given the choice I would spend every waking moment in jeans. However I can manage to look smart and dress appropriately when the occasion demands it. I have not been blessed with a good figure  or height, I am short and stumpy so I am at a disadvantage when it comes to clothes, but I can still manage to dress in a way that doesn't scare passers by. More to the point, I am surrounded by family members who would tell me loud and clear if I looked too unsightly in what I had chosen to wear. Robbie doesn't do tact, he speaks his thoughts!   


So, to get to the point. Most of the coverage I have read about the royal wedding has been about what people wore and much has been made of those who were deemed to be fashion flops. When people see an unflattering outfit people are bound to have their thoughts about it, but surely those thoughts are best kept private. It is true that there were a few eccentric outfits at the royal wedding and one or two really unfortunate ones. I guess it goes to show that money can not buy style, and whatever the designer label you should trust the evidence of your own eyes. I think it is cruel to write about individual fashion mishaps especially when the person concerned is very young, it says more about the bad taste of the author than the fashion victim. I wonder how they would feel if someone humiliated a member of their family in that way.


I was especially incensed about the way that fashion writers picked on one or two of the younger royals. Quentin Crisp once said "fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are". Some people don't want to conform to the latest fashion trends and try as they might some people will never have style. Surely what matters is whether or not they are pleasant, honest, well mannered, kind and good company. I would much rather be judged on the type of person I am than what I look like or what I wear. All the fuss that people have made about Samantha Cameron not wearing a hat and wearing 'high street heels' has made me really angry. I thought she looked lovely, very stylish without trying to upstage anyone. Her shoes looked just fine to me, so what if they were not 'designer'. If she chose not to spend an obscene amount of money on shoes just to impress others, that probably shows that she has good sense and good character! As for the foolish suggestions that going to Westminster Abbey hatless was disrespectful, I can only assume these people had not engaged their brains. Who was she allegedly disrespecting? It wasn't disrespectful to the queen, she meets hatless people all the time. It wasn't disrespectful to God, women go to church hatless all the time, I have never worn a hat to church in my life! Going to church is about belief and worship not fashion. Church is not about the building, it is about the people gathering together to worship, so what is appropriate for a tiny church gathering in a hut somewhere should also be appropriate for the grandest cathedral. 


So, before being too quick to criticise people for what they wear or how they look, people would do well to remember the words of Gabrielle "Coco" Chanel "Adornment is never anything except a reflection of the heart". 

A Blind Eye

Robbie and I are different in many ways, he is louder than me in every sense, this is most obvious when it comes to clothes. I know what I like and I know what suits me and I tend to stick within my comfort zone, this doesn't usually involve loud colours and patterns. Anyone who knows Robbie will know that he is the exact opposite, he likes colour and he loves patterns, the bigger and bolder the better. It annoys me when Robbie tries to tell me what to wear, especially when he starts to offer advice on underwear. When it comes to fashion advice he is more Homer Simpson than Gok Wan!

I really try to live and let live, but it takes a super human effort not to comment on some of his more challenging fashion statements. This morning he headed off to work wearing a shirt that almost stopped me in my tracks. He must have had a whole shop to choose from so I can't understand why he chose that one. It is difficult to describe but he looked as if going to an audition for the Wurzels! I'm not going to change him so it is just a question of of perfecting a 'blind eye'. I am short sighted so when I take my contact lenses I don't see the detail, that makes him a little easier on the eye!

Belt and Braces

I am fairly used to eccentric fashion sense, after all Robbie is more 'unique' than most when it comes to fashion sense, but Sam seems to have a sense if the ridiculous too. Apparently black skinny jeans are the latest 'must have' fashion item and according to Sam they must be worn with skinny braces. He bought a pair several weeks ago and I was unable to suppress a chuckle when he proudly appeared in the the lounge wearing skinny jeans, trendy shirt, skinny braces and a belt! I have heard the phrase belt and braces many times, but until now I have never seen the reality!

Time To Go Home

All good things must come to an end but we were sad to reach the end of our holiday. Saturday was bright and sunny with a clear blue sky so when we had packed the car and cleaned the bungalow we decided to enjoy the sunshine. We took a walk along the coast to the shop, then Robbie decided to give the car a good wash and I went for a last walk along the beach and paddled in the sea.. I will miss the freedom and thinking space that Walcott allows, but we have to go home and get back to the usual busy routine.

So what will I remember about this holiday? The beach, the seals, the ladybirds and the butterflies of course, but mainly I will remember Robbie's antics. The time when he behaved so badly in Norwich that he was banished to Marks and Spencers, he thought I hadn't noticed that he'd bought an unspeakably hideous tie and hidden it in his underwear draw. It is so loud and so red that it like looking at a party political broadcast! I can guarantee that it will be lost within a week.

Then there was the trip to Wroxham when I was casually looking at skirts while waiting for Robbie to return from the loo. He walked over to me and said emphatically “Er No!” and he shook his head at the skirt. I didn't like the skirt and I had no intention of buying it, but his comment made me so mad that I almost bought it just to spite him. Who does he think he is to give advice on fashion, he is not exactly a role model when it comes to sartorial elegance! With his baggy shorts loud T shirts and converse boots he looks as if he takes his fashion inspiration from Bart Simpson!

On the same day at Wroxham I lost him in the toy shop, he was in there for so long that I almost abandoned him there. He found a vibrating Mr Tickle with a seriously irritating laugh and he was seriously contemplating spending £29.99 to by it. I gave him a look and he grudgingly left the shop, but when I wasn't looking he darted back in to get himself a Playmobil catalogue!

Crimes Against Fashion!

Having had a fairly lazy day yesterday we decided to get up early and spend the morning in Newquay. It was a lovely morning and by 10am we were in the book shop looking at railway books , then for a little light relief looking at railway jigsaws! It was nice just to potter around for a couple of hours, I refused to go to the surf shops to look at clothes with Robbie because I am still adjusting to his recent purchases. A couple of days before we went away he went shopping unaccompanied (not recommended) and he came home with the loudest shorts imaginable, they are brown with luminous yellowish green in a large flower pattern. I can't provide a photo because I am worried about my camera, but today's photos feature Robbie's new cerise T-shirt, as you can see he is fairly unmissable when he wears it! Sam said that he is wanted in several counties for crimes against fashion!

All His Own Work!

When I was listening to the radio on Saturday they were discussing Michelle Obama's comment that she chooses all her husband's clothes. Maybe that is OK for a US president, but I want to make it clear that I have no control whatsoever over what Robbie wears, it is all his own work! Well I have to admit refusing to have anything to do with him if he wears certain T-shirts, and I did veto a red tie because it made him look like a party political broadcast, but that is the limit of my influence! It has crossed my mind to try to modify his tastes, but it would be a waste of effort, Robbie will always be 'a bit unique' and if I stop him wearing one thing, he will only find something worse! He tries to influence me sometimes, but I do as I like. I don't like loud colours and bold patterns (except on circus clowns) so him pestering me to wear brighter colours is pointless, I wear what I like.

Watching the World Go By

You know when you see cartoon characters with steam coming out of their ears - I know exactly how they feel! Robbie and I were going to the garage to check the tyres and to do all those routine car jobs last night, so I arranged to drop Laura at work and then pick Robbie up from the station. Shortly before I was due to leave the house he rang to say that the line was blocked because a train had failed. He said not to worry because he would only be 35 minutes late. I had to leave as planned in order to get Laura to work on time, so I found myself sitting in the station car park watching the world go by. Whoever it was that coined the phrase 'the sights you see when you haven't got your gun' was probably sitting in the car park at Northampton when that thought struck them. There was enough raw material to keep Trinny and Susannah fully occupied for years! I began to wonder if there is a national shortage of mirrors? Why do men wear brown shoes with black suits? it looks horrible. I saw a so many people with pinstriped suits, striped shirts and patterned ties, have they never heard that 'less is more' or are they just taking revenge on the world? How difficult is it to buy a pair of trousers that actually fits? There seems to be an epidemic of 'ankle bashers' surely people must notice that their trousers are at half mast, it makes them look as if they have escaped from an institution. I know old men have a tendency to pull their trousers up to fasten under their chin, but ankle basher syndrome seems to affect a wide variety of people.

I watched groups of passengers spilling out onto the station, looking hopefully for Robbie among the crowd. He wasn't there. A series of texts detailed his very slow progress, each text ended with the word 'farce' in capital letters. I think it's a man thing, he does something similar when he is loosing an argument, he underlines every statement with the word 'fact'. By the time he finally arrived it was too late to mess around with the car, we had to get home in time to rescue the chicken casserole. Robbie wanted to talk about every detail of his journey and to explain the exact cause of the delay. I wanted to think about anything other than trains, surely I had endured enough for one night, he didn't take the hint and in the end he was faced with a stark choice - shut up about trains or walk home!

Robbie seems to have taken on some 'Hulk' like tendencies. On Monday he tore his shirt on the arm near the elbow, yesterday he tore a second shirt in exactly the same place. I suggested that he should wear that horrible multi coloured striped shirt today, I wouldn't be too bothered if he ripped that one. I suspect this may be a cunning plan to justify more new shirts, but I think he still has more than enough shirts to see him through the next few months!

Robbie - or Possibly Joseph? 10.02.08

Robbie wore 'that' shirt today, the one that I wrote about a couple of weeks ago! You know the very expensive shirt that includes every colour known to man. I vowed that I would never be seen outside the house with him if he was wearing that thing, but we were going to Homebase to buy a bookcase and there was no way I was going to lift that that into the car on my own. Anyway Homebase staff have never been especially helpful to me so why shouldn't they be exposed to 'the walking test card' if I have to put up with it! The bookcase is for Robbie's railway books, I had to give in and agree to another bookcase because there are so many books in the bedroom now that they will be taking over the bed!

Robbie settled back into the car having safely stowed the bookcase in the boot and it seemed to be the right moment to make my point. I asked if he knew the Bible story about Joseph and his coat of many colours, he said that he did, so I told him that he probably had a shirt just like that to go with it! Emily and Laura are deeply unimpressed with the shirt, Emily commented that she would have thought they could have included a couple of buttons since the shirt was so expensive!!

No Pain, No Gain! 07.07.07

Robbie is far more interested in clothes, fashion (Robbie style), shoes and accessories than I am. He is not a man who adapts to change easily, but he has undergone almost a head to toe change since we have been together. Actually his head and his feet are probably the most unique parts of this determinedly idiosyncratic man. Who else would wear glasses like that! He is the proud owner of odd feet, no I am not being unkind, they are odd. One is size 6 and the other is size 9 1/2 so it does limit his choice of footwear, but I'm sure he would still be obsessed with Dr Martens even if he possessed perfectly matched trotters.
He will use a face mask, put up with various facial treatments but there are a couple of things that he absolutely refuses to allow. I can almost understand why he refuses to deal with his grey hair, but his eyebrows are a different matter. He has this monobrow thing going on and It could be remedied quickly and easily but he won't hear of it. He is happy enough to pluck my eyebrows for me but when it comes to his he is scared of a little bit of pain. I even offered to do it the quick way with one of those strip things that you rip off but he would rather look like something out of Futurama than endure a bit of short lived pain.
http://www.monobrow.com/