Silently, like thoughts that come and go, the snowflakes fall, each one a gem. ~ William Hamilton Gibson

We woke to find that a dusting of snow had covered our world during the night. By the time I looked out and noticed the snow it was almost 7am and the morning traffic had already reclaimed the road which had a slushy grey appearance in contrast with the white pavements and gardens. The parked cars were still swathed in blankets of white, the snow gave the street a gentler magical appearance but it would not last. Soon the world would be awake and the unspoilt snow would be crushed underfoot and reality would chase away the magic. 

I thought about my daughter who was just leaving the house to drive to her teaching placement in Corby I hoped that she would have a safe journey. My other daughter did not have very far to drive so I was less worried about her and thankfully Robbie was working at home today so I could keep an eye on him and hopefully make sure that he stayed safe. He fell over in the snow just before Christmas when he was working in Darlington and he hurt himself quite badly so I can't help worrying about him.

At about 11am snow began falling again, at first it was not very much but before long it was snowing heavily and it looked as if it had come to stay. I had an earlier start at work than usual,so I had to get all my errands done despite the snow. The roads were a bit slippery but not too bad and I managed to get everything done. The snow seemed to give Robbie a wanderlust and he asked if I could drop him at the station on my way to work. He said he wanted to mix business with pleasure and spend a few hours 'out and about' on the railways. I couldn't say no, I just hoped that he would stay safe and not fall over. He returned safe and sound with some lovely photos.

The first fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event.  You go to bed in one kind of world and wake up in another quite different, and if this is not enchantment then where is it to be found?  
                                                        J.B. Priestley

“A test of a people is how it behaves toward the old." - Abraham J Heschel

It has been a very difficult few days. On Sunday lunchtime I had a frantic phone call from my step father, my mum had blacked out and fallen on the kitchen floor badly cutting head open - I have never seen so much blood! He had already called an ambulance and I dashed to their house (in a village about 6 miles away) to be with my mum. As I ran down the lane to their house I realised that there was no ambulance there and I assumed that my mum must be already on her way to hospital. When I opened the front door I realised that I was wrong, my mum was sitting on the floor propped against the kitchen units holding a blood soaked towel against her head. The kitchen floor was covered in blood and my step father (who is terminally ill) was standing there ashen faced looking totally helpless.

I did my best to make my mum comfortable and then I rushed around getting everything ready for a trip to the hospital. The ambulance control had told them to leave mum on the floor and to leave the blood as it was. We waited and waited but no ambulance came. After an hour I spoke to the ambulance control they still insisted that I should not move her and they said they would make mum a high priority and an ambulance would be there soon. I told them that I needed to clean up the blood as it was making it impossible to move around the kitchen to look after mum, and when I got off the phone I cleaned the floor. Still no ambulance came and I was very worried about my mum's condition, so I called my brother (who lives in a different county) he came with his car and between us we got mum up (she was very wobbly) put her into the car and took her to the hospital. By the time we left her house we had waited two and a half hours for an ambulance!

At the hospital her condition was taken very seriously, they said her pulse was dangerously low and she was kept on close observation in the resuscitation area. She is still in hospital, they think she may need a pacemaker, but they are still doing tests. I am disgusted that a woman who is over 80 can be left to wait so long for emergency medical care. We will be making a formal complaint, but our first priority is to look after mum.

'The Other Woman'

Last Wednesday Robbie announced on facebook that he was undertaking a very long journey just to spend some time with 'the other woman'.

"05:42 x NMP - TAM/06:39 TAM - DBY/07:13 DBY - DAR/09:30 DAR - MBR/10:38 MBR - GMT - just to spend some time with 'the other woman' lol :D"

I was anxious, not because I was jealous of his 'other woman' - I have always known that I couldn't compete with her for his attention, she is rather awesome to say the least. I was anxious because his legs and back were not so good, and I was scared that he would not cope with a long day 'playing trains'. I think he was a bit worried too, but he is determined not to let his spina bifida stop him doing 'normal' things - and what could be more normal than spending the day with the object of your affection. I was right to be anxious, but I couldn't have foreseen that he would manage to injure himself before he had even left Northampton Station! They put some (allegedly) non slip strips on the stairs to the over bridge not so long ago and they have proved very challenging for passengers, they caused me to stumble a few weeks ago. Unfortunately Robbie fell twice as he was crossing the over bridge he cut his hand badly and acquired a selection of bumps and bruises. If they don't do something about those steps there is going to be a serious accident.

Despite his 'war wounds' Robbie had a nice but very tiring day in the 'deep north' with his first love. I would usually object to him calling a train female, but Royal Scots Grey is powerful, reliable, beautiful and simply the best - so 'she' must be female! 

Revenge of the Roses

I guess you could say that Robbie and I have both become victims of the unusually mild weather. On Thursday evening when Robbie went out to the car (the drive is at the side of the house) he was attacked - by a rose. The rose won! It had attempted to strangle him but he fought bravely and escaped with several rather alarming cuts and scratches. Usually by this time the roses would have been cut back, but until last week they were still flowering and I didn't have the heart to get rid of them. Robbie insisted that the rose had reached out across the path to get him but I didn't quite believe him until I saw it in daylight this morning. It seems that our climbing rose thinks it is a triffid! It has moved itself and it's trellis away from the wall and it is reaching across the garden path ready to attack anyone who attempts to pass.


I took a good look at the roses and decided that I would cut them back today after I had done all my errands. As always on my day off I had lots of running around to do, hairdressers, post office to pick up a parcel, chemist to collect a prescription and of course the usual bits and bobs of shopping. When I got home after all the errands I promised myself a nice cup of tea and a sit down as soon as I had unpacked the car, but the rose tree had other ideas. I dashed along the path from the front door towards the drive to fetch more bags from the car. I successfully dodged the rose, but there was gravel on the path following Robbie's scuffle with the rose. I slipped on it and sprawled headlong onto the drive causing cuts and bruises to my hands, knee and other assorted body parts - it really hurt!


So it is time to get serious. That rose tree will find itself cut down to size this weekend. It is bad enough trying to cope with Robbie and the family, I don't have time to do battle with stroppy plants as well!

The Joys of a White Christmas

The snow that plagued us all before Christmas may have looked pretty, but it made everything that much harder - and when I was rushing around sorting out all the last minute arrangements I really don't need the extra aggravation. On the Wednesday before Christmas we woke up to a deep carpet of snow, I begged Robbie not to go to work because I was afraid of him falling over but he wouldn't hear of it. There were no buses running and there was no hope of a taxi so we took 20 minutes to dig the car out and I set out to get Robbie as close to the station as possible. It was a scary journey and I left him to walk down the station because I didn't want to risk it in the car. On my way back I skidded when stopping at traffic lights but I stopped just in time to avoid colliding with the traffic on the main road, it was so scary.

Robbie made it safely down the hill but when he was close to the station he slipped and had a close encounter with the ground. He must have hit the ground with a lot of force because the side of his knee and his thigh was badly swollen. He was in agony and struggling to walk, but he still got to work!

I had lots of errands to do but most important of all was a trip to the model shop to buy the Merseyside Express (prototype Deltic). As I walked back to the car I complemented myself on getting the last one in stock for a very good price when suddenly my feet started misbehaving and the next thing I knew the side of my head thudded against the low metal car park fencing and I was sprawled in the snow. I had to lay there until the ground stopped spinning, but eventually I got back to the car and safely home. My daughter later commented on the irony, I am teetotal, but I managed to fall down outside a pub, complain of blurred vision and struggle to stand up without a drop of alcohol passing my lips!

I rang Robbie to tell him what had happened but he was busy so it was just a brief call, then my daughter Emily rang and seemed concerned that I was not making much sense. I thought I was just a bit dazed but it seems I probably had concussion and Emily organised a succession of 'minders' until Robbie got home to keep an eye on me. Apparently I was talking rubbish and being very difficult about seeing a doctor, but I don't remember much about it now. I do remember noticing later that evening that Robbie could hardly walk and couldn't cope with the stairs at all - he was walking like Spotty Dog from the Woodentops and I about as coherent as a Flowerpot Man, what a pair!!

Mr Bump

Robbie had a disagreement with his feet yesterday evening, he walked from the kitchen into the hall armed with a very large carrot (he was on his way to feed the guinea pig) when he slipped and fell. He hurt himself quite badly because he scraped against the furniture before he hit the floor. He has a badly bruised hip and side but it was his dignity that suffered the hardest knock. He was furious about falling, according to him there must have been a shiny patch on the floor that made him slip - I guess that makes it my fault! Robbie thought I was very unemotional and uncaring about his fall, it wasn't because I didn't care it was because I was trying to suppress an attack of the giggles. I could cope with the ranting but when he told me that his fall had been broken by a carrot the urge to laugh was overwhelming! Poor Robbie!

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder?

I haven't seen much of Robbie this weekend on Friday he allegedly got snowed in and had to stay overnight in Birmingham. I say allegedly because he went to the office Christmas celebration on Friday afternoon and evening so it may have been that he was conveniently marooned in Birmingham, so I had a peaceful night and just for once I was able to hang on to all the duvet! He came bouncing back on Saturday lunchtime, but he got his priorities all wrong the best way to get into my good books is to make me a cup of tea! He has a nasty bump on his knee, he fell over in the snow on Friday.

On Sunday morning he was off again on a secret mission (I'm not allowed to write about it on the blog) but he had my approval. I had to take him to the station, I can't believe they haven't gritted the car park it was like a skating rink, it is an accident waiting to happen! Anyway Robbie didn't get back until late in the evening, but he had a great time and surprise surprise he managed to stay upright all day!

No Easy Answers

Robbie and I were rather anxious when we went to the hospital to see his consultant yesterday. We were surprised to find that we didn't have to wait very long until Robbie was called into the consulting room. The consultant explained that the MRI scan had been worthwhile because they were able to get some good pictures of Robbies spine and the pictures had been reviewed by a specialist at Oxford. As expected there was clear evidence of the damage caused by his spina bifida and they could see that his spinal cord was significantly longer than normal with less smaller branches coming from it. The good new was that there is nothing on the scan pictures to suggest that there is any tethering of the cord at the moment. There were words of caution too, Robbie should never have a lumbar puncture or any procedure on his lower back because it could cause serious damage. So the messsage was to keep walking, to accept the falling over and the pain as just part of him and to take great care of his lower back because if anything goes wrong with it they will not be able to put it right. It sounds a bit grim and it would have been nice if we could have found a way to stop the falls and to deal with the pain, but we didn't really expect that. I think we just have to be grateful that the news was as good as we could have hoped for. So now he just has to learn to bounce when he falls over and hopefully he will try not to fall in front of a car or a train!

To Tell the Truth ...................

Robbie fell over as he was getting off the train yesterday morning. He had only bought a new suit a few days ago and I am ashamed to say that when he told me about the fall I enquired about the suit before I asked about him. The suit survived unscathed but Robbie hurt his hand and his dignity was seriously affected; the platform proved surprisingly resilient. It could have been much worse, I do worry about him, I wish we could find a way to keep him upright.

Why are men such dreadful liars? OK I know that is a huge generalisation, but I am cross so please make allowances. Just for once I am not having a go at Network Rail, but come to think of it the same thing applies to them, if they want to mislead us, at least they could make the effort to do it convincingly instead of treating us all as if we are fools! I was actually getting at Robbie. He knows from bitter experience that I have a built in lie detector and it is not easy to pull the wool over my eyes, but it doesn't stop him trying! This week I caught him in out, there was no disputing the 'evidence', it had his fingerprints all over it, but he clung stubbornly to his version of the situation. Establishing the truth really is like pulling teeth. It makes me so cross that he assumes I a stupid enough to accept his version, as far as I am concerned the original 'misdemeanour' is never worth a lie, because most things can be put right or overcome. I wonder if it is a case of arrested development, you know that phase when a toddler learns to play hide and seek and they think that if they can't see you then you cant see them - they don't realise that their rear end is poking out from behind the sofa for all to see! I wonder if men ever progress beyond that stage - or maybe they just enjoy getting caught! I have found that admitting a mistake or omission, apologising and asking for help to put it right will get a much more favourable response than denial or trying to blame the others. Maybe Network Rail should give it a try sometime, we would all be shocked into stunned silence, so at least they would have a quiet few days! Just for the record, Robbie has been forgiven!

Robbie was on form last night in terms of random statements. We has just been shopping at Morrisons and he got into the car after parking the trolley and said "I will have to wash my high visibility vest before April". I expect he was thinking about trains and charters, but it made me laugh because it made me think of Harry Potter and the invisibility cloak. Robbie is high visibility all the time, vest or no vest!

Pants and Pasta 10.01.08

Robbie's new boots arrived yesterday, I struggle to get over excited about shoes of any kind but Robbie was on cloud 9, I dread to think what he would be like if something really exciting happened. We had a bit of a fashion parade, he tried on his new suit and his new boots, he looked great and he was very good at the hand on hip pose and the twirl as he walked across the room and turned to come back again. If he hadn't built his career in the railway industry he would probably have made a very good hairdresser!

This morning Robbie took his foot to the doctors, he insists that it was his boots rather than his wayward leg that caused him to fall this time, but he is still awaiting some tests and the GP said he would chase up the appointment. I guess should expect Robbie to have disobedient feet, after all every other bit of him is unconventional to say the least! Hopefully we will soon find a way to keep him the right way up - and pavements everywhere will breathe a sigh of relief.

After the doctors appointment Robbie had almost an hour to wait for his train to work, so he bought me a coffee (well, tea in my case). We rarely have time to ourselves like that so it was nice. Robbie dominated the conversation with a discussion on the relative merits of different brands of mens underwear. He provided a detailed description of his favourite pair of pants, and his second favourite pair, and the advantages and disadvantages of sports underwear. I was spared any more detail because he had to check the time. He only had a few minutes before his train was due, plenty of time for another little gem. He asked if I knew that Morrisons were the fresh pasta retailer of the year!? I don't know how I have coped for so long without knowing that! Where has all the romance gone?

Don't Mention the Boots! 09.01.08

After all the rushing around and distraction over the Christmas period, I am finally getting organised again. I spent some time transferring last years posts to the new blog site today, it takes ages but it is very interesting to re read the posts. Looking back on a whole year of Robbie's escapades can be exhausting, with him around there is rarely a dull moment - no wonder I am always tired. I can hardly believe that it is a whole year since my first railway related rant http://robbiesrandomramblings.blogspot.com/2008/01/answer-to-rail-congestion-become-sheep.html

My favourite post has to be Sam's description of Robbie, it was so accurate and very funny. I have added it to the home page of the new blog site, it is in the left hand column towards the bottom of the page. http://robbiesrandomramblings.blogspot.com/

Robbie is still feeling sore and bruised after his fall but I think he will survive, his dignity suffered a bit of a dent but he'll get over it. His new suit arrived today, he has ordered some new footwear and tomorrow he is off to M&S to order some more trousers, that seems to have lifted his spirits considerably. A word of warning, don't mention footwear or you will never shut him up, you wouldn't believe that one man could find so much to say about one pair of boots!

Mr Bump 07.01.08

Robbie has been stress testing the tarmac again. He fell over on his way out of work and wrote off yet another pair of suit trousers; perhaps he is the victim of a plot by M&S to boost their profits! At this rate he really will be going to work in his PJ's! Actually he hurt himself quite badly, he has a big cut on his leg, a swollen hand, a very painful arm and he is feeling rather battered and bruised. Every time he moves he gives a little yelp of pain followed buy an assortment of expletives. By tomorrow he will be so stiff that he will be walking like Spotty Dog! It worries me, he fell into the road this time and he could so easily have been run over, we have to find a way of keep his feet firmly planted on the ground. Maybe diving boots would solve the problem! This time his beloved Dr Marten Chelsea boots got the blame, apparently the sole has too much wear, so tonight he will be online ordering more trousers and looking for a new pair of boots. The lengths some people will go to buy new shoes!! Thankfully his glasses survived unscathed otherwise we would be taking out a second mortgage and he would have devastated because he loves his 'Robbie' glasses even more than his Dr Martens.

Staying Upright 06.11.07

Robbie went for his hospital appointment yesterday, to find out why he keeps falling over. The consultant wanted to do an MRI scan to find out what was going on, but Robbie suddenly announced that he suffers from claustrophobia and could not possibly cope with an MRI scan. Instead he has to have a CT scan and some other tests.

I was surprised to hear of his claustrophobia, he has never mentioned it since we have been together and I felt that if he had coped without it for this long, he should be able to cope for a little longer in order to have an MRI scan. He has showed no sign of claustrophobia when travelling on the sleeper train, in fact he is very keen to repeat the experience! When I challenged him about his new found phobia he was insistent that it had bothered him in the past. He claimed that once years ago when he shared a tent with the Wild Woman from Walsall he felt claustrophobic. Silly man, that is not a phobia, it is a perfectly natural reaction, I feel claustrophobic if she is in the same county!!

Boy's Toys 15.10.2007

I am feeling depressed this morning, I knew it would happen one day but last night I was shocked by the sudden revelation that I am old. It happened quite unexpectedly, Robbie was chatting to me in the bedroom and suddenly I realised that I had become my grandmother. It was the subject of our conversation that disturbed me so much - bowels! I was horrified, I had a disturbing vision of Les Dawson and Roy Barraclough as Cissy and Ada and I vowed to steer clear of the subject of bowels for at least another twenty years!

Robbie took four of our six children to London on Saturday to visit the Science Museum. Robbie managed to fall over again, this time only his dignity was bruised. He phoned to tell me about his fall and he seemed very upset by it, this worried me until I realised that he was only troubled about his T shirt, he had spilled hot chocolate and had got two small stains on his top! Everyone had a good time and Robbie arrived home exhausted.

Robbie's recent difficulty with the vertical prompted a detailed conversation about childhood toys. Yes, you've guessed it we were talking about Weebles, the ones that wobble but don't fall down! Robbie went on to say how much he enjoyed visiting his cousins because he loved playing with their dolls pram and their Sindy dolls. Clearly he has always been in touch with his feminine side! I was not really a doll person, I liked my Tiny Tears, but I was more into cars and in those blissful non PC days I had a selection of pop guns and cap guns and a couple of rather splendid Red Indian head dresses. I even had a wigwam. I was a fan of a series called the Virginian, in fact I watched quite a lot of cowboy films. I had a whole fleet of toy cars, including Lady Penelope's pink car and the Batmobile. Robbie recalled his Evel Knievel set with realistic motorbike noises, but Britain's toys were among my favourites. I had the zoo, the farm and the riding stables, I even had a few cowboys, but I didn't have a fort. My parents had a toy shop and I loved setting out all the Britain's models, rows and rows of all types of soldiers, it kept me busy for ages. I liked to help with the Action Man displays too, but despite my interest in boys toys, it didn't take me long to work out that most boys were incredibly boring. After all why would they waste hours building and painting Airfix models when they could buy ready made boats, planes etc from the Corgie and Dinky ranges that were much nicer and didn't fall apart when you touched them. Of course there were exceptions, not all boys were boring, my dad was cool and my heros of the time were Jim the builder and Martin the paper boy!

Spotty Dog 27.09.2007

Robbie is still walking like Spotty Dog from the Woodentops after his fall yesterday morning. He is feeling battered and bruised and his grazed hands prevented him from doing the washing up last night - I must make sure that I buy him some washing up gloves today! He headed to work this morning in his only remaining pair of suit trousers, making a huge effort to stay upright. I told him to order some new trousers today in case anything happens to his last pair of trousers - I am not sure the world of work is ready for the sight of Robbie in shorts (or worse!).

A few months ago he was 'economised' and now he takes his own travel mug of latte on the train with him. He adapted to the change well, but he misses his women at the coffee shop! Knowing how resistant he is to even the most simple change I was unsure when I saw Douwe Egberts latte on offer at the supermarket, but I took the risk of changing brand. I wish I hadn't, he talked for over 10 minutes this morning about exactly how many spoonfuls would make the perfect mug of coffee - help!

Rumpelstiltskin! 26.09.07

Robbie fell over again this morning. He cut his knee badly and grazed his hands, worse of all he tore his new work trousers (the ones that travelled to Euston on their own!). He had to come home, clean up, change his trousers and recover his dignity, so he missed his usual train and had to go for the next one. His knee is hurting him badly, but hopefully it will soon get better.

Yesterday proved to be a day of confessions for Robbie. He had meetings in London and I wondered why he left at the crack of dawn for a 10am appointment. I should have known better, he managed to visit four mainline stations for a bit of train spotting - he is impossible! The more surprising confessions involved the kitchen, he admitted that the new arrangement of the kitchen cupboards works much better. I sensed I was on a winning streak and through gritted teeth he managed to admit that the new tea towel is actually very good!

The dog and cat decided to play games with Robbie last night. I had just gone to bed and Robbie was heading in that direction too, when Megan asked to go out in the garden - and she wouldn't come in! The best thing is to ignore her and within 5 or 10 minutes she will rattle the door to come in, but instead Robbie (dressed in PJ bottoms and Dr Marten boots) was galloping round the garden trying to catch her. I could have told him that it was futile, but Meg had fun and Robbie got some exercise - I dread to think what the neighbours though, but they were in for a little more entertainment. The kitten got out and he couldn't catch him either, in the end he had to go out with one of the kitten's toys (a mauve feathery thing on a stick) and coax him in by playing with him. Finally both the little terrors were safely back in the house and Robbie came to bed - it was 2am!! I had already been asleep for a couple of hours, but Robbie was dancing with rage and the air crackled with expletives - he reminded me of Rumpelstiltskin! I finally calmed him down, leaving him sleeping soundly and me wide awake - typical

In the Driving Seat 24.09.2007

The car is in full working order again, that's more than I can say for my bank balance, the car cost nearer to £500 than £400!! It was the power steering and several associated parts. The mechanic saved the old parts to show me, I can't believe such insignificant little bits can cost so much. At least I now have a garage that treats me like a human being and gets the work done quickly so I mustn't moan too much.

We had a lovely day at my mum's yesterday, we had a family day to say goodbye to Emily before she goes off to university. As always my mum thought she was catering for a multitude and there was far too much food. Even Robbie left food on his plate at lunch time and that is very rare indeed. Robbie has been a bit out of sorts over the weekend, he fell over on Friday and as well as hurting himself it made him very cross with himself. Just to make matters worse I have been continuing with the reorganisation of the kitchen cupboards and Robbie hates change - unless it is him doing the changing! My greatest transgression was apparently to buy a new tea towel that cost the huge sum of £1 and is slightly different to our usual ones. He claims not to like it, but it does the job and I suspect his real objection is that he didn't choose it. I guess you have to be a bit obsessive to do the sort of job that Robbie does, but this is ridiculous!

Saying the Wrong Thing 12.09.07

You may be wondering how our kitten Oreo is getting on. I know it is a stupid name but the children insist on keeping the name and if Robbie had a say in it he would probably want to name him Royal Scots Grey after his favourite train!! Poor little thing. I have started to call he kitten Archie because he spent his first few days arching his back and spitting at Megan (the dog) whenever she got too close. Meg has stopped trying to round him up and only shows interest in him at mealtimes when she does her best to eat his food as well as her own, she also seems to find that water from the cat's water bowl tastes much better! I fell over the kitten yesterday and I am covered in bruises as it was a confined space and I fell on some shopping bags containing large books - the kitten is fine.

Robbie is trying very hard to stay in my good books. He fell into a 'heffalump trap' at the weekend, we were discussing my birthday which looms large on the horizon and I said that he had married an old woman - he 'accidentally' agreed with me! I wasn't overjoyed.

The phone worked for less than 12 hours and it has now failed again. I can't write any more about it due to the boundaries of good taste!