For someone who claims to love being naked Robbie manages to get very up tight about his pants. Several weeks before Christmas we decided that Robbie absolutely had to have a new suit for work. The trousers belonging to his favourite suit were becoming rather see through - not a good look, and the jacket of his other work suit had something odd going on with the collar that made him look as if he had no neck. So rather reluctantly we had to break open the piggy bank and beat the VAT rise. Nothing is ever simple when it comes to dressing Robbie and when the suit arrived the trousers didn't fit quite as well as he'd hoped, so they were returned and the replacement order was delayed by the heavy snow. We finally collected the new trousers after Christmas So Monday was the first chance Robbie had to wear his new suit to work - and that is when the trouble began!
When he chose a wool blend suit I pointed out the risk of irritation, but Robbie assured me that he was not sensitive to wool and there was no risk of it making him itch. The suit had other ideas! Robbie arrived home on Monday evening walking like John Wayne, he made it as far as the kitchen before removing his trousers and inviting me to feel his legs. I have seen worse but I had to agree that there was a hint of redness probably caused by the trousers. I prescribed some E45 cream, but Robbie didn't seem keen on getting cream on his hands and I didn't offer to rub it in for him, so his legs remained uncreamed until bed time. Every half an hour or so he got up from his chair and plodded over in his pants to ask me to look at his legs, there was nothing much to see but they were obviously causing him some discomfort. I spent the evening searching online for the perfect pair of pants to remedy the problem and he finally settled on some rather attractive sports underwear from his beloved Marks and Spencer. He intended to make an urgent visit to M&S the next day. So when I plodded off to bed I was hopeful that the solution to the problem was within reach.
We were rather late going to bed and as always I was trying to get to sleep before Robbie arrived. He sat gnome like on the bed contemplating his inner thighs. I urged him to put some E45 cream on his legs and then settle down and get some sleep, my sympathy was fast being eroded by exhaustion. He asked me to get him the cream so I got out of bed and passed it to him then I snuffled back under the covers, clearly it was going to be a long night. After what seemed like hours I out from the covers to see Robbie dispensing a pea sized portion of cream on to one finger and then attempting to rub it in with just one finger. I urged him to get a sensible amount of cream and rub it in with his whole hand or neither of us would get any sleep. He must have taken my advice because he eventually got into bed, but almost as soon as he settled down he started to make strange noises, like a whimper mixed with a groan. Apparently the cream was making his legs sting even more, unbelievably he was asleep within a few minutes but his legs still seemed to have a life of their own. By the time I got to sleep it was time to wake up again, suddenly single beds seem a very attractive option!
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