A Nasty Taste in the Mouth

Robbie is a bit of a mixture, in some areas of life he is very open to new ideas, in fact it is hard to keep up with him at times, but when it comes to changing a brand that he is used to it is a very different story. He is fastidious about hygiene and he has to have the right brand, 'flavour' and size of the many toiletries he uses. If a brand changes the shape or size of container, or heaven forbid if they change the fragrance I know that we will be in for a difficult few weeks. Last year we faced a couple of problems like that, his trusted brand of deodorant not only changed the shape of the container, they changed the contents.  I had to agree with him that the new fragrance was horrible, it made me cough and according to Robbie it wasn't nice on the skin. After lots of moaning he grudgingly agreed that he had to change and I set about finding a suitable replacement with the right smell and a container that met his specifications. I was lucky I stumbled across a less well known brand that met his needs perfectly - and peace was restored.

Then horror of horrors they discontinued his flavour of mouthwash. I scoured the town looking for it, but in the end he had to face facts and try another brand. I bought several, but he wasn't impressed, then we found one that met with his approval. It wasn't cheap and he gets through it remarkably quickly, but it was worth it for a peaceful life. Then towards the end of last year the supermarket had his mouthwash on offer, it was better than half price so I stocked up. During the offer period I bought about a dozen bottles, which were left in the kitchen for several weeks because there was no logical place to store them. In the end I prevailed on Robbie to find a space and put them away. Imagine my surprise when he told me last week that he had run out of mouthwash and he needed me to buy more - at full price! I couldn't believe it, and under close questioning he conceded that he may have put the bottles away and forgotten where they were, but he thought it was more likely that I was mistaken and perhaps I had brought my son's brand rather than his. I am rarely mistaken! He wouldn't let me search for it at the weekend as he had tidied up, but I had my suspicions about where it was and when I had the house to myself today I played hunt the mouthwash. I found it stashed away next to the freezer (not sure why) so he now has 9 bottles to keep him happy!

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. ~Confucius

I don't know if I just have an odd way of thinking or if this sort of thing happens to everyone. Sometimes I spot something seemingly insignificant, but the memory of what I saw stays with me and takes on an unexpected significance. Some years ago I used to work in a village called Long Buckby and the journey between my home and my work took me through what I consider some of the most beautiful countryside in Northamptonshire. One year in January as I drove along a country road I saw some tinsel caught on the hedge. It was a frosty morning and the tinsel looked tawdry in comparison to the natural beauty of the frosty hedge. Yet just weeks before we had been excited by the prospect of Christmas and tinsel just like the piece stuck in the hedge had adorned our Christmas trees and added sparkle to our lives. Even now when I drive along that road I often remember the tinsel in the hedge. There is no man made 'sparkle' that can compare with the natural beauty of the world around us. 

This week I took a close look at my front garden, it looks wintry and bare with just the first hints of life showing through. The trellis next to the front door that is covered in big purple Clematis flowers in May and June, is covered in the pretty yellow flowers of winter Jasmine. Last time I looked the winter Jasmine was in the far corner of the garden, but I guess it had other ideas and now I stop to appreciate it each time I unlock the front door. The green shoots of daffodils have pushed through the soil. They were in the garden when we moved here, for 20 years they have been ignored and neglected yet still they come to brighten the garden each spring. The tubs are empty now, their summer glory long forgotten. The stones around the base of the bedraggled rose bushes looked dull and unattractive. Each one had been lovingly collected by me over the years because I found the colour, shape or something else about the stone attractive, but now they looked dull and boring, a few even had moss growing on them. It looks as if we will need to get the power hose on the stones to restore their sparkle - but I am not sure that I want to arm Robbie with a power hose!


Perhaps this is a good lesson, sea washed stones only look truly beautiful when they are sea washed! Seeing the tinsel in the hedge made me appreciate the natural beauty of the hedge, and it made me see the beauty in the world around me. Perhaps everything (and everyone) has a place where true potential can be seen and appreciated.       

By plucking her petals, you do not gather the beauty of the flower. ~Rabindrath Tagore

The Wrong Trousers

Believe it or not there was yet another chapter to the trouser saga! Just in case anyone reading this has not read my recent posts I will recap briefly. Some time before Christmas we agreed that Robbie needed a new suit so he did his research, which included several trips to Marks and Spencer - his favourite shop. He chose the suit that he wanted but our local M&S had no stock in the size he needed so it was necessary to order the items online. They sell the jackets and trousers separately and much to Robbie's annoyance they had the jacket that he wanted in stock, but the trousers were not available in his size. So we decided to order the jacket and wait for them to get more stock of the trousers. Christmas came and went and Robbie (who had been checking the website twice a day) had almost given up on ever getting the trousers. Then finally the great day came, they were in stock and Robbie placed his order, he knew what size he needed and he ordered exactly the same size as the trousers he already has. He collected his trousers on a Friday from M&S in Birmingham, but he got distracted when leaving work and he managed to leave his trousers on his desk. The trousers had to be 'rescued' the following day but when he tried them on he found that they didn't fit, they were a bit on the tight side. It didn't make sense, they were exactly the same size as the ones he already has that fit him perfectly. He ordered the next size and when they arrived he said they were much more comfortable so he wore them to work. 


Sadly that was not the end of the matter, he claimed they were too loose even with a belt and they kept slipping down. I don't want him to be arrested, so we will need to take the waist in a bit, next he said that they are too long and he is afraid of treading on them as he walks so we need to do something about the leg length too!  I am sick of the whole trouser issue and Robbie seemed deeply affronted that he may be a non standard fitting. Anyway after weeks of constant complaint about trousers I have come up with the perfect solution - a kilt! It would certainly turn a few heads!!

If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins. Benjamin Franklin

One thing that may be a mixed blessing for Robbie is that I understand him very well, too well for his comfort at times! There have been times such as the test card incident and the fuzzy felts birthday card when I've thought that Robbie didn't understand me at all, but that's not true. He knows that I love him and even when he gets things horribly wrong his intentions are usually good - misguided but good. 


Thankfully I have help in keeping Robbie on the 'straight and narrow', my older daughter (mini me) and my mum (senior me) keep reminding him of the 'rules'. 


1) Never attempt to buy clothes for me without 'advice'
2) Never spring a surprise on me - his type of surprises scare me!
3) Retro is not always good
4) Never choose music for me
5) Never make arrangements which can not be changed later.
6) If in doubt, don't!!


It probably makes me sound very boring, I'm not really, but perhaps I indulge in quieter passions than Robbie. I think the real difference is that I am the one who has to keep my feet on the ground and not let my passions run away with me. 

I was so impressed with Robbie this week, he brought me a little treat and I was in heaven. It was a can of Root Beer from Cybercandy and it was absolutely wonderful, I love root beer. It was the perfect way to show he cared, not stupidly expensive and very thoughtful. There were just a couple of little problems, it made me wonder 'what he had done' (but I was tactful enough not to put that thought into words!) and it has left me craving Root Beer. Maybe he does understand me a bit after all, he certainly knows how to make me happy!!

Route Knowledge?

Robbie has been extending his route knowledge recently, or at least that's his excuse. The combination of disturbed sleep (due to pain) and new medication caught up with him on his journey to work and he fell asleep on the train before reaching New Street. He awoke to find himself heading for Walsall - the train had reached New Street and departed again! Fortunately he catches a very early train in order to have a more comfortable journey so even after his 'little diversion' he was still at work in good time. Poor Robbie, he put on a brave face and joked about 'route knowledge' but he was quite upset about it. Sometimes trying to manage chronic pain can make even the simplest things very difficult.

When I wrote my previous blog entry about Robbie leaving his trousers at work, I thought that was the end of his 'trouser troubles' but the drama continued. Despite being exactly the same size as the trousers that he already has (that fit him perfectly) the new trousers didn't fit, so I had to deal with a very disappointed Robbie. We had the folded arms, the sulky look and the jutting bottom lip, but eventually he had to accept defeat and order a different size. The new ones arrived on Friday, but he has been so poorly that he hasn't tried them on yet - I think I will cry if these don't fit! 

10 Ways to be Wicked

I am used to all sorts of weird and not so wonderful suggestions finding their way to the junk folder of my email account. Several emails each week invite me to part with obscene amounts of money in order to enlarge my 'manhood'. They obviously know nothing about me! My mum made absolutely sure that I understood that a woman can do anything better than a man, because we take time to read the instructions! She is now a sprightly and determined 81 year old who can run rings around people half her age. Only a couple of weeks ago she announced that she has always been able to touch her toes with her hands flat on the floor and she would not going to give up doing so now, then just for good measure she gave a demonstration!


Today I received an email addressed to Robbie claiming to be from a regular blog reader suggesting that an article s/he had just written would dovetail well with the interests of those who read the blog. One look at the title, something along the lines of  '10 Ways to be Wicked' showed me that it certainly was not something I wished to publicise. In any case 10 ways seems rather limiting, I am sure Robbie could think of 110 ways!!


Robbie provoked an interesting discussion on facebook   with his appreciative comments about Shameless, one of his favourite television programmes. He referred to it as 'class', I don't watch it but I couldn't resist challenging him on that point, surely it is the very opposite of 'class'. I was pleased to find that there were one or two people who agreed with me. I know it is not real but I don't want to watch a fictional portrayal of the dregs of society failing as parents and most importantly of all failing as parents. I am not one for unnecessary rules and rituals but it troubles me that standards in this country seem to be eroding faster than our coastline. How hard is it for people to say please and thank you, to eat quietly with their mouth closed and to be aware that their behaviour can impact adversely on other people. It must be obvious that playing music through a mobile phone without headphones drives other people mad (especially on the bus or train). It must be obvious that holding a phone conversation while going through the supermarket checkout is downright rude and irritating to others in the queue who are being held up. So I must assume that people know that their actions are thoughtless, but they just don't care and that troubles me greatly. When I was little my grandma would occasionally tell me not to do something such as 'don't sit on the radiator or you will get piles' or 'don't pull faces, if the wind changes you will stay like that'. Once in a while I would dare to tell her that I didn't care and her response was always the same 'don't care brings care'. She may have been wrong about the piles but I think she was right that not caring has consequences.

Acceptance of prevailing standards often means we have no standards of our own. (Jean Toomer)

Tracking Down the Trousers.

When it comes to excuses my family have always been more imaginative than most, but Robbie is in a class of his own. When he asked me to brave Birmingham on a Saturday he knew very well that I would say no, the thought of visiting Birmingham at any time fills me with horror. So he needed a good excuse to persuade me to join him on a trip to Birmingham on a Saturday. He announced that he had left his trousers at work and he needed to go and fetch them. It was not as worrying as it sounds, the railways were not brought to a standstill by the sight of Robbie in his 'smalls', the trousers in question were his long awaited new M&S trousers and he'd left them on his desk. They could have waited until Monday, but having waited weeks for them to have his size in stock he didn't want to risk them getting lost. 


Robbie's track record when it comes to losing contact with his clothing is careless at the very least. His raincoat made an unplanned trip to to Plymouth without him last year when he left it on a train, he has previously left trousers, a hoodie, other sundry garments and his notebook on various trains. He has even dozed off and left himself on the train before! So rescue missions to recover missing items or a stranded husband are not uncommon. I grudgingly agreed to accompany Robbie on a trip to Birmingham to collect his trousers and we decided to make it a fun afternoon (not that 'fun' is a word that I would usually associate with a visit to Birmingham). 


It was interesting to visit Robbie's office, it is rather nice. We also visited a couple of shops, Muji where I bought a set of nesting dolls for my next art project and Cybercandy which is amazing. I have bought items from their website before, but it was nice to visit the shop and see all the confectionery products from different countries. I was most tempted by the cans of 'soda' they sell root beer and I love root beer! They also sell Tab, just seeing that can brought memories flooding back. Robbie promised me a visit Starbucks, I prefer Costa because they do much nicer tea, but Robbie likes Starbucks and I have to admit that their fruit toast is rather nice.  

Stopping to Look Both Ways

We have had a lovely Christmas this year, nice food to eat, nice presents, but most important of all we were able to enjoy time with the people we love. We always have good intentions but life can be so busy that far too long can slip by without us spending quality time with family and friends. So the Christmas break has been especially important to us, we have enjoyed special moments with our wider family. It is rare that we are all together at the same time so that makes it extra special. After all the activity and chaos of Christmas, Robbie and I appreciated a few days of quiet with nothing much to do and all day to do it. Usually our days start very early, so not being ruled by the alarm clock has been fantastic and I think it has done us both good to have time to unwind. Despite all the pre Christmas stress, I have really enjoyed this Christmas break and I will be sorry to see Robbie return to work tomorrow.


I am not a fan of new year celebrations. It always seems rather sad to be closing the door on the old year and I look ahead to the new year with a certain amount of trepidation, wondering what new worries and challenges it has in store. It is odd really as I am not a pessimist and I tend to take most of the ups and downs of life in my stride, I think mostly it is just fear of the unknown. Every year the world changes a little bit, situations change, new people come into our lives and some become very important, and sadly other people are lost from our lives. As the year draws to a close we remember the familiar faces no longer with us who have brightened our lives in various ways. We may not know them personally but we are touched by their loss and we will miss them. Perhaps I am just getting old but it seems to me that we have said too many goodbyes in the last year. Among those that I will miss most are George Baker who brought Inspector Wexford to life, Jimmy Saville because there was no one quite like him, Peter Falk because I loved Colombo, David Croft who wrote Dads Army as well as other great comedy shows and brought so much pleasure, Billie Jo Spears because I loved her voice, and Edward Hardwicke who I will always think of as Dr Watson.