Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors - Alice Walker

Today didn't start quite as well it should have. The alarm went off at 5am and I jumped into action, I shook Robbie awake and told him that it was already 5am and if he didn't hurry he would be late for his train. He turned over and said that he was getting up, there was no further action for a few moments, then he sat up 'zombie style' but he seemed to be still asleep. In those few moments my brain managed to catch up with the situation and I realised that it was Saturday! I told him that it was Saturday and I was very sorry for waking him up, he said "yes dear" and still in zombie mode he settled back into bed; he was instantly asleep. When we woke up at a more realistic hour for a Saturday Robbie had no recollection of the 5am episode.

A favourite pair of Robbie's Shoes

He came back to bed with a cup of tea for me (and a coffee for him) and announced that he wanted to show me some Dickies. I wasn't entirely sure what he was suggesting until he picked up my laptop and logged on to his favourite shoe website. Apparently the 'Dickies' in question were a particular type of canvas boots. Being Robbie he couldn't just look at one pair of shoes he showed me a whole selection of footwear that he would love to own. I guess he could be doing worse things than lusting after shoes, but our house isn't big enough to accommodate all his footwear.


Looking at the website led to a (very long) conversation about shoes he has known and loved. To be honest it was more of a monologue than a conversation. We had worked our way back to 1980s but I was spared further 'time travel' to his earlies footwear memories because he sent himself to sleep! I can't say it was the most exciting start to a Saturday morning, but seeing Robbie happy and relaxed makes me happy.  I was left feeling that some things are just meant to be. Robbie came to Northampton because of me, but what better place for someone with a passion for shoes, a bus ride away from the shoe museum and a stone's throw from the Doc Shop! 

Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice - George Jackson

Some things are incredibly hard to write about because they are too painful. Such things can leave you feeling diminished and powerless, a shadow of your real self. It is not a good place to be and when you are feeling at your lowest it is almost impossible to gather all your strength and courage to decide that enough is enough and to take a step towards putting things right. At such times it is hard to believe that anything you do will make the slightest difference, but one thing is certain, doing nothing is not an option.


We have faced a situation like that over the last few months. It has been very hard to just keep putting one foot in front of the other to face each day because it seemed that each day brought new difficulties. I am very proud of Robbie, as if coping with near constant pain isn't hard enough he has faced these difficulties, done the right thing and hopefully now after months of worry we can see light at the end of the tunnel. We still have a way to go, but at least we now have reason to hope. My message to anyone else facing a difficult situation or being treated unfairly, is to be strong (I know it is much easier said than done) and not to give up however impossible your situation seems. Stand up for what is right, it will make you feel better and it may enable others to do the same.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. -Mark Twain  

Too Many Cooks ................

Robbie has many talents, but don't worry I am not going to tell you about all of them! He is surprisingly useful in the kitchen and on a good day we can work well together. The difficulty is that I think of it as my kitchen while he acts as if it is his. To be fair it is not the best designed kitchen in the world and we could do with a lot more storage space, but for the time being we have to work with what we have - and that is where the problem arises. 


I have written before about him being a control freak when it comes to food shopping, and about the way he controls the fridge. It can be challenging, but most of the time I tend to let him get on with it, he may be totally rigid about the everything having to be the correct size and in exactly the right place, but at least he makes an effort. There are times when he goes a bit too far, such as his phase of leaving post-it notes in the fridge, thankfully that is a thing of the past but we still have bitter disputes about sell by dates. I don't expect him to eat anything that has past its use by date, but I am not as fussy especially with things like horseradish sauce. I am the only one in the house that likes it, so how dare he throw it away without asking me! He was in big trouble when he did that - but he will not do it again!!

Now we have a new problem - recycling. We recycle paper, plastic, metal and glass without any problems, but now our local council collects food waste too. We have an indoor caddy for food scraps and an outdoor food bin. We don't have much food waste, mostly it is used tea bags, egg shells, a few crusts and an occasional potato that has passed it's prime. Logically I want the food caddy on the work top near the kettle so that it is easy to put tea bags straight into the caddy. However Robbie takes a different view, he doesn't like it there and he would rather have it on the opposite worktop near the cooker. So for several weeks it has been a case of 'hunt the caddy' - he moves it and I move it back again. As if that is not irritating enough, on Monday morning it had vanished completely. I rang the 'king of the kitchen' and he admitted that he had hidden it in the cupboard under the crisps to hide it from the cat. It seemed like lame excuse, Dave the cat is the 'Robbie' of the cat world, they share a passion for food of all kinds, but even Dave would turn his nose up at egg shells! The caddy has stayed in 'my place' for two days now, so we will see what happens over the weekend. 

Pyjama Problems

Robbie had a better night last night, partly because he didn't dare to go to bed until it was almost time to get up! I know he must be feeling as tired as I am because trying to wake him up this morning was like trying to wake the dead. I think it's a minor miracle that he managed to get to the station in time for his usual train this morning. I am rather worried that he will be sound asleep by the time he gets to New Street, but hopefully it will be a service that terminates there and he will not wake up to find himself heading further north!

On the subject of sleep my son has a problem. Most people think that being one of only a handful of boys at a girls school would be a dream come true, but it can cause unexpected problems. On Friday his school have a pyjama day to raise funds for something or other. He doesn't possess any pyjamas, he usually wears boxers in bed. He does have a onesie but he claims is skin tight and it would attract too much attention if he wore it to school. So it looks as if he will have to pass on the PJs and just go to school in his normal clothes. Chatting to him about this reminded me of a PJ related incident when he was about eight or nine and trying to be very grown up. At 17 he doesn't like to be reminded of the things he did when he was younger but I treasure all those funny little memories.  

2004
There was a funny little episode last week with S. A couple of days before he went to his first sleepover he said he absolutely had to have some deodorant – Sure for Men Sensitive to be exact. We went to get him some deodorant, but while at the shop he asked for FCUK pre shave face wash. I pointed out that he doesn't shave but he said "it says pre shave, and I will shave one day so it is ideal for me". He went to the sleepover with his grown up toiletries and his new leather jacket looking really cool. A couple of days after he got back I asked him if his mates had been impressed by his grown up stuff. He gave me a long stare, then in a very serious voice he said "you spoiled the effect mum, you packed my Buzz Lightyear pyjamas!" 

Best Foot Forward

Robbie and I had a 'frank exchange of views' last night, I know it is silly to argue about trivial stuff but honestly how hard is is for a man to understand the difference between a dish cloth and a floor cloth!! We have the sense not to argue for long, there are so many more important things in life that it is foolish to argue about trivia.

We had a disrupted night which left me feeling useless or perhaps helpless is more accurate. I woke at 2.15am to find Robbie in agony, he was crying with pain and running through his extensive repertoire of expletives. He couldn't move and his leg was in spasm to such an extent that you could feel it 'jumping'. There was absolutely nothing I could do to help or to ease his pain. It seemed to go on forever, but in reality it was perhaps half an hour or so before the pain eased slightly. He was still moaning with pain at around 3am when exhaustion finally allowed him to fall  asleep. Sleep eluded me for at least another hour, I just lay there worrying and feeling useless.

This morning we had to get up a bit earlier than usual, to give him more time to get ready. I took him to the station so that he had extra time to walk to the platform. I knew he was worried about how he would walk from the station to the office, he mentioned it several times in the car. He said that he would just take his time and he would be OK. I wish I could do something to help, I feel so helpless. As he got out of the car he said "Best foot forward". I am so proud of him, even on a bad day like this he just keeps going. He doesn't give up and somehow he faces the day with a smile.

I often regret that I have spoken; never that I have been silent - Publilius Syrus

I always look forward to the weekends, it is good spending time with Robbie, and it is nice to take life at a calmer pace after all the demands of the week. On week days we are out of bed by 5am so the luxury of a lazy morning with Robbie is one of the best bits of the weekend. Generally we have things planned on Saturdays so Sunday is our lazy morning but one way or another Robbie always manages to burst my bubble. On Sunday morning we were cuddled up in bed just enjoying the moment when Robbie announced that he had rearranged the meat draw in the fridge. I asked if I was so boring that he had to think about cleaning the fridge, he looked a bit confused and after a brief sorry he cuddled closer. All was well for a few minutes then at the point that I should have had his full attention he announced that he wanted to wash the car later on! Needless to say that the moment was lost. I despair of him sometimes.

The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk - Jacqueline Schiff

The church in Abington Park 

Robbie and I don't manage long walks these days, but if you pace yourself it is surprising what you can do. We are so lucky to have a very beautiful park on our doorstep, whatever the season there is always beauty around. We always enjoy a visit to the park on crisp winter afternoons we retreat to the Park Cafe for a warming cup of coffee, but when the weather is kinder we prefer to sit on a bench watching the squirrels chase around under the trees or to sit by one of the lakes watching the ducks. If you are weighed down by the troubles of the world, watching ducks is the best medicine, you can't watch their antics without smiling.   

St Peter and St Paul Abington

The Church of St Peter and St Paul is at the heart of the park, it looked magnificent in the sunshine and we had to stop for a moment to take a photo. The trees look beautiful at this time of year, suddenly there is blossom and signs of new growth all around us. The park was busy with people having fun and enjoying a lovely spring afternoon, and as we walked I felt grateful to those people who cared enough to provide this wonderful park for the town all those years ago. I wonder what the people of my own time will pass on to future generations? We have a lot to live up to.

Enjoying the early spring sunshine

I hardly ever appear in photos on the blog, but this is a rare glimpse of me sitting on a bench with Robbie, enjoying an ice cream in the sunshine before heading home

A White Elephant

The son who must not be named had to go to the dentist, so I picked him up from school and drove him to the surgery. Our route took us past a large traffic island and the edge of Abington Park, the traffic island was planted with daffodils and so was a wide slope at the edge of the park. I pointed out that the daffodils were in full bloom and I said that when I see daffodils the words of a poem pop into my head. My son said "yes I know" and he promptly quoted the whole first verse of the Robert Herrick poem To Daffodils. "Fair daffodils, we weep to see you haste away so soon, As yet the early-rising sun has not attained his noon. ...................." He went on to say that he doesn't like daffodils because they flower so briefly and then seem to stand there looking dead for months. I know exactly what he means, daffodils always make me feel sad too and I agree with his sentiments about the display of daffodils in the park. It has a big sign saying "Field of Hope" but he says that it inspires the opposite of hope because the daffodils look dead for most of the year, with just a couple of weeks of colour in early spring. I still find it fascinating when he allows me little glimpses of his 'aspie' thought process, I may only give a passing thought to contradictions such as the field of hope, but such things really trouble him because they don't make sense.


On our way back we somehow got on to the naming of pubs. I told him that I disapproved of the modern trend for changing pub names because the old names often had historical significance. He asked what I meant and I said that The White Elephant was a good example of a pub whose name reflected it's history. He asked if a white elephant had once died there; I glanced across at him because I thought he may be teasing me but he was completely serious. He has always struggled with idioms because he trys to take them literally, but he learnt the meaning of most of the commonly used idioms long ago, so it was a bit of a surprise when I realised that he did not know what a white elephant was. I explained that we use the term white elephant to describe something that has value but is of no practical use and a bit of a burden to the owner. 

The pub in question was built as a rather grand looking hotel in the days when Northampton had a racecourse. I expect they thought that they would build a good business providing accommodation and refreshments for racegoers. However soon after it was built the racing stopped; there were public access rights across the course and a series of accidents between 1901 and 1904 led to the banning of all races. The last race took place on 31st March 1904 and the racecourse became a park (still known as the Racecourse). So Kingsley Park Hotel was left on the extreme edge of town (at that time) without an obvious clientèle. It became known locally as the 'White Elephant' and in due course the name was changed to The White Elephant.

It is odd, a simple trip from the dentist led to discussions about poetry, linguistics and local history. There are many times when that boy has me tearing my hair out, but I treasure these special times when we have interesting conversations. He couldn't resist pushing his luck, as he got out of the car to go back to school he said that I knew so much about 'the olden days' that it sounded as if I remembered them personally - cheeky monkey!

One cat just leads to another - Ernest Hemingway

According to my husband I have some sort of 'weird magnet' that makes me an interesting target for assorted 'odd bods'. He does have a point even when I visit new places I seem to attract the 'square pegs' of this world. Last autumn I visited the Severn Valley Railway for the first time, as I stood in Kidderminster  Station chatting to Robbie a little man (he was considerably shorter than me) entered the station area from the platform and marched straight up to me, shook my hand and launched in to a long explanation of why steam trains are better than diesels. Suddenly he stopped talking about trains, informed me that he had important things to do and marched off in the direction of the refreshment room. Robbie thought it was very amusing that the man singled me out when he had a whole crowd of people to choose from. 


I had a similar odd experience earlier this week. I gave my daughter a lift to work, on the other side of town. Her office is located in an area that was once a village but it got swallowed up by the town many years ago. I dropped her off, turned the car around and I was just about to pull away when a middle aged man approached the car and knocked on my window. He didn't look like a mad axe man so I opened the window a little and he asked me if I would like to take him to town. I was rather shocked, I am not in the habit of picking up strange men especially before 9am! I told him that I was not going to town, he said "never mind, I didn't really want to go to town anyway". It may not be a village any more but clearly they have at least one contender for the position of village idiot! 


I don't know why I have such a well developed 'weird magnet' perhaps it is because I find people interesting. A friendly smile costs nothing and makes everyone feel better, very often you find that people who seem a bit odd at first are very interesting when you get to know them. The trouble is I seem to attract the waifs and strays of the animal kingdom too. Looking back through the blog I am reminded that we have had a parade of uninvited guests over the years. A toad once came through the cat flap to visit us. On two separate occasions birds have fallen down the chimney - and lived to tell the tale because I went to to considerable trouble to rescue them. One was a collared dove and the other was a huge and rather stupid pigeon. Then there was Dave the cat, he turned up ill and exhausted and set up home in one of our recycling boxes - he is still here! Now there is 'Bernard' the cat who kept coming in and hiding in the utility room, she is still here too.


The problem is that I don't have infinite resources. When Dave found us a few years ago we were strictly a one cat family, but he was so poorly and so much in need of someone to care about him that before I knew what had happened we had become a two cat family. I had no idea how much time effort and money it would take to restore him to health. He is now very much part of the family, in fact he thinks that he runs the house. He and Oreo are good friends and we love them, but they are expensive to to maintain and looking after them is time consuming. Bernard is really sweet and she is becoming less timid but we really can't cope with a third cat. I can't turn her out and all my efforts to find her original owner have proved fruitless, so we really have to find a new home for her.
According to the vet she is about 3 and in good health. She is very clean, we haven't had a single accident since she moved in. She is timid but she enjoys attention, she just needs gain trust in the people around her. She is scared of other cats and she tends to hiss if they go too near her, but she is not vicious, she just keeps out of their way. Please contact me if you know anyone who can offer her a loving home.

The Wrong Head

After the drama of the Lego men on Sunday, I was quite literally left to pick up the pieces. By Sunday evening Robbie had lovingly restored most of the Lego people to their original state but there was still a small jar of parts that required attention. 

As soon as Robbie had been despatched to work, I settled down to solve the puzzle. Robbie had most of the body parts for the palace guard but it was the wrong head. So at 6.20 am I was looking at mug shots of Lego men on the computer trying to identify the 'wrong' head. Just before 7am I finally identified the head, it was the head of the man in the dinosaur suit. The dinosaur was not among the 'downstairs' Lego people and a quick trip to the bookcase to inspect the the 'upstairs' Lego men revealed that he wasn't there either. However the head of the palace guard had mysteriously reappeared, placed neatly in front of the top row of minifigures.


It didn't require a crystal ball to work out who was responsible. I woke my son and threatened him with cruel and unusual punishment if the dinosaur didn't reappear right now - it did!! It is easier to deal with my son when Robbie is not around because I don't have an echo. I explained to him that I understood that he may have thought it was funny at first, but it had upset Robbie and caused me untold grief so now it had to be put right without any more fuss. He went back to check his room but he came back empty handed saying that he was sure that there were no more 'hostages'.


I always have plenty to do before heading off to work, but on Monday as well as dealing with the food shopping and the laundry, I had to sort out the Lego men. Believe it or not I found a site that sells spare parts for Lego minifigures. I put in an order to replace a missing baseball bat, graduation certificate, and helmet and I bought some spare bases. I don't think my son was responsible for most of these things, they probably went up the hoover (over time not all together) but I am not going to tell Robbie that or he will hide the hoover!


I also catalogued every single figure and noted the accessories that it should have, so that in future Robbie can check them whenever the mood takes him.  Now hopefully I can stop thinking about minifigures for a while otherwise I really might scream!! Just for once it would be nice to have an uneventful few days.