“Neither can the wave that has passed by be recalled, nor the hour which has passed return again.” Ovid

It is just over a year since I last wrote anything for the blog. I made a conscious decision to stop writing the blog because there were a number of other demands on my time and it became necessary to be a little more discreet than usual. Robbie started a new contract last September, working on a bid team. It was a new experience for him and quite a steep learning curve, but he loves a challenge - he's on his third bid now! I have had to make some important adjustments too, I gave up my job to work with Robbie, taking charge of the business admin, driving and the various other tasks necessary to keep Robbie 'on track'. I continued with my writing work and my time was taken up with writing, proof reading and selecting photos for my book. It was such a relief when everything had been delivered to the publisher! The book was published in May and I had the pleasure of seeing my book on the shelves of Waterstones and W.H. Smiths. 

I didn't intended to return to the blog. Several of my friends urged me to start writing again, but I wasn't convinced and oddly it was a book that changed my mind. I have been reading The Diary of Samuel Pepys, and I find it fascinating because it deals with the so many of the ordinary aspects of life. It may be almost 350 years since Samuel Pepys wrote his diary but he and Robbie seem to have a lot in common - perhaps men haven't changed greatly over the years! My children, who are now all adults do not approve of the blog, or to be more accurate they would prefer to remain anonymous. So in future they will not write about them as much and when their names crop up I will come up with aliases for them.

tomorrow will be our ninth wedding anniversary and we are looking forward to a weekend away. Yesterday a friend asked me if I would change Robbie if I could, I enjoyed thinking about it for a minute or two but my answer was no, I wouldn't change him. He is a good man with a big heart and a passion for life, why on earth would I want to change him? Not so long ago my son asked me if Robbie had been my mid life crisis, his question made me laugh but I have to admit that we are an unlikely couple. The important thing is that we are happy; we have been through a lot together over the years and it has brought us closer and made us stronger than ever. 

Don't smother each other. No one can grow in shade - Leo Buscaglia

You can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react to it.

I started my Question and Answer journal yesterday, it was harder than I expected because I only had a few lines to write my answer and the questions (I have only answered two so far) are more tricky than they first appear. The question for yesterday was 'what is your mission?'. I had check that I correctly understood what the word mission meant before I attempted to answer the question. I have often been described as a woman on a mission (usually when I am trying to get Robbie to do as he is told!). I think that is because I am a bit of a Jack Russell Terrier, when I get my teeth into a problem, I don't let go. 

In the end I thought about the term mission as it is used by companies and organisations they have a mission statement to describe their core aims and values. Their mission statement sums up their reason for existing and when I think about it in that way it is much easier to answer the question. My family are my reason for being, they will always come first and I will always do my best to love and support them. Having said that I have never wanted to be a burden to my children so it is important that I have my own identity too. Sometimes it is nice just to be me and to enjoy some time doing whatever I like, I am never short of things to do. I am very happy with my own company but I love spending time with Robbie too, life is never boring, but it is exhausting at times!

The next question was deceptively simple 'Can people change?'. There was a time that I would have said "of course they can" now that I am older and wiser (or more cynical) I have to admit that people rarely change. I still believe that people are capable of change, but the motivation has to come from them, it is not possible to change someone else. Judge Judy has a saying "Never try to teach a pig to sing, it doesn't work and it annoys the pig". It means that people are what they are, what you see is what you get and however hard you try you can't make someone change their nature. I wish I had understood  that years ago, it would have saved a lot of heartache.