Fighting Back!

According to Sam, he is perfectly normal and it is the rest of us who are a bit weird (his choice of words, not mine), maybe he is right. Living with a person who has Asperger Syndrome certainly tests the limits of my sanity at times; it can be frustrating, exhausting and isolating. I love Sam dearly and I am so used to his idiosyncrasies that I couldn’t really imagine him being just ordinary. He rivals Robbie when it comes to random facts; on Thursday he informed me that apart from humans, dolphins are the only other species that indulge in sex for pleasure. I will have to have a rethink, I’d always assumed that rabbits had all the fun! Sam is the only person I know who can talk more than Robbie, his specialist subject is films and comic books, but just like Robbie he will talk in detail about absolutely anything!

Shopping with Sam has always been ‘an experience’. Can you imagine a child with a compulsion for sorting being let loose in a supermarket, we could never get past the cereal section because he wanted to sort and straighten all the boxes. Shopping with Sam was a very time consuming activity! When he was three he went to the fish counter at Safeway (now Morrisons) on a behind the scenes visit with his nursery group and he has been fascinated by fish ever since. For years afterwards he would go up and look at the fish and `interview' the staff about what the various fish were and where they came from. I would attempt to ‘disown’ him and disappear to the next section but eventually I would have to drag him away. I really don't know what Sam found so fascinating about fish, perhaps it is his Cornish background showing through!

For years it was Sam’s ambition to be a trolley pusher at Safeway, but one day as we left the shop he spotted a sign displaying job vacancies, he said "Mum, if I can't be a spy I think I would like to work on the fish counter". Thankfully he has slightly different ambitions these days.

Shopping is still a challenge and it rarely passes without incident. Something about Tesco transforms him from a tolerable teen into an angry troll, come to think of it; the supermarket has much the same effect on Robbie! On Friday Sam and I had to pop into Morrisons for some bread and a couple of other items. Sam was being really helpful (there’s a first time for everything) and when we got to the bread section they had packed the bread on to the shelves so tightly that it was very hard to pick up a loaf without squashing it. I held the basket and Sam carefully eased the loaves off the shelf and checked the sell by dates. We were just selecting our second loaf when an old woman who was using her trolley as an offensive weapon came up behind us and shouted 'excuse me'. I looked behind me and checked that we were not blocking her way and Sam stepped a little closer to me. In seconds she shouted 'excuse me' again and attempted to shove Sam away from the bread with her trolley. I was incensed and told her she was a very bad mannered old woman. I pointed out that Sam was helping me, she had plenty of room to go past us and if she wanted to buy bread she should wait her turn. She was very offensive and threatening and as I walked away I told her to learn some manners. I was so angry that someone would treat Sam like that, especially when he was being so well behaved.

Sam was shocked into silence for a while afterwards; I think he was really shocked by the woman’s behaviour. As we drove home he told me I was ‘awesome’ and he said he didn’t know I could be so cross. Maybe I wouldn’t have stood up for myself as much, I am not a confrontational sort of person, but I couldn’t stand by and let Sam be treated like that!