Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture - Rita Rudner

Who would have thought that the simple act of erecting a gazebo could cause me to have homicidal thoughts! Now that the monsoon season appears to be over my mum wanted us to put her gazebo up so that she and my step father can have a bit of shade in the garden. I had my first encounter with that gazebo last year, it is allegedly a pop up gazebo. It weighs a ton and the one thing it doesn't do is 'pop up' it needs a lot of attention and encouragement and if you are very lucky after half an hour of hard labour the thing will be up. It is absolutely huge, my mum has a big garden, but that thing takes up a lot of room.


This was Robbie's first experience with the gazebo and when I asked him to help he had a 'how hard can it be' look on his face. It didn't take him very long to find out exactly how hard it could be! Simply getting the enormous box out of the shed was a challenge. Then when we got it out of the box there were no instructions, so my mum went off to sort through her vast collection of instruction manuals (for everything that she has ever owned in her adult life!). A little thing like no instructions didn't bother Robbie he began the task with enthusiasm until I pointed out that he was assembling the frame upside down. Why do men think that possessing a 'third leg' gives them superior ability in such matters? It is rare for Robbie to come over all macho and I didn't like what I saw. Undeterred by his error he took charge, barking instructions at me, do this, hold this, fetch that. I kept my temper with great difficulty, he had conveniently overlooked the fact that I had erected this thing before - he was the novice!


To compound my irritation, every so often he would walk across to me and kiss me on the forehead. I could hardly contain my annoyance and when my mum returned with the instructions and a mallet (to peg it into the ground) the temptation was overwhelming. I stood there obediently passing him the parts according to his instruction, but in my head I was considering other uses for that mallet!


Despite his irritating ways I was very grateful to him for helping to sort out the gazebo. Hopefully my mum and step father will be able to enjoy lots of sunny days in the garden.