Anyone who knows me reasonably well will know that one thing that I find very difficult to deal with is being lied to. According to my family I have a built in lie detector, and on many occasions one or other of the children has indignantly demanded to know how I could tell that they were not telling the truth. It is not an straightforward question to answer, some of it is picking up on clues, such as facial expression, tone of voice, body language and such like, but some of it is just instinct and experience. If things don't add up either it is not the truth at all or not the whole truth.
Sam is much like his dad, if he is caught in a lie his voice gets higher the more he protests. My brother is much the same, but he also becomes indignant and argumentative when challenged, until his voice is within the soprano range and he has to accept defeat. Of course I don't always know when someone is trying to pull the wool over my eyes. The family still laugh about the time when my late husband Eric 'accidentally' bought a full set of golf clubs, managed to keep them hidden for weeks and even packed them in the roof box and managed to take them on holiday with us without me finding out! I was so cross with him when I found out, but with the benefit of hindsight it wasn't such a terrible lie, it didn't harm anyone else and a set of golf clubs really isn't such a big deal. In fact I am glad that he had his golf clubs, you need to live life while you can because you can't always take tomorrow for granted.
I found myself pondering the whole issue of truth and lies rather deeply recently. It seems it is never too late to learn from experience. I have always thought of myself as a very open and understanding person, so I felt hurt and confused when I became aware that someone I trusted had not been honest with me. Sometimes it takes me days to process a situation in my head (the cogs turn extremely slowly at times!) but if I ponder a situation long enough I can usually make sense of it. Gradually I became aware that much of the blame rested with me, it is hard for people to be honest if there is insufficient trust. If you want complete honesty you have to be open to hear the truth and to deal with it responsibly when you get it. People are what matters most, everyone should have the freedom to be their own person and to do things in their own way. We often laugh at my stepfather because he is quite fixed in the way he does things and he always thinks his way is the only right way - even when he is wrong. When I stopped to think about it I realised that my attitude wasn't so very different.
They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but I hope that is not the case. I am finding it much more comfortable to open my mind and to listen and learn than to be kept in the dark. It is usually Robbie who rambles on, but today it is my turn, my thoughts may not make much sense to anyone else, but for me it has been an important, maybe even life changing experience and it has made me feel so much better to reach this point.
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