Beyond Endurance

Robbie and I are spending new year apart, I am upstairs listening to Radio 4 and Robbie is downstairs as he prefers to see in the new year with Jools Holland. He is a man by the way way, from his name I had assumed he was a woman. Robbie said he was in a band or something but I had never heard of him or his band. I did my best to endure this thing on television, one woman sang and it sounded like a cat being slowly strangled, I don't know who she was, apparently she was just called Adelle - with a voice like that I am not surprised that she wouldn't give her last name. Then there was a group of geriatrics who sang Jimmy Mac, they looked and sounded as if they had just been dug up, so I thought things could only get better. I was wrong Duffy came on next and that was truly more than flesh and blood could stand, so I voted with my feet and came up to listen to the radio. I am much happier up here on my own.

Chaos on the Coventry Corridor

This morning I decided to have a nice relaxing bath. The bathroom is about the only place in the house that I can have a few minutes peace, and even then it is not guaranteed. The bath water was lovely and warm and I lay back in the bath with my eyes closed listening to the radio and enjoying the luxury of the moment. Suddenly I became aware of a presence looming over me, he stood there hands on hips with indignation etched on his face. His lips were moving but I was getting no sound (bliss!) there was water in my ears but as I moved my head my hearing returned in time to hear the 'headline' Chaos on the Coventry Corridor. Robbie was pleased that he hadn't been at work today because there had been delays and confusion on the line. He told me in detail about each delay and the reasons for it, but I will spare you the detail. I have (mostly) enjoyed having Robbie at home and I will miss him when he goes back, but it will be nice to have a bit of peace!

Pillow Talk

When I woke this morning my mouth felt like sandpaper after yet another night of coughing. I lay there trying to send telepathic messages to Robbie that I needed a cup of tea, but he just carried on snoring. I tried more direct methods and pinched his bum, that was more effective and after several attempts he roused for just long enough to steal the whole duvet. Eventually he woke up but I still had an eternity to wait for my tea. He put his arm around me, cuddled up and embarked on a detailed monologue of the exact journey times for all the replacement buses between Northampton and Euston yesterday – scintillating! Just when I thought my ordeal was coming to an end he decided to name every station between Euston and Birmingham New Street and then he speculated on the meaning of each name! Finally nature succeeded where I had failed, he needed the loo and he plodded off to the bathroom. He returned at last with a cup of tea and when he got back in bed I made sure he kept well away from the subject of trains. He is so exhausting, I may have to send him back to work before New Year in order to get a few hours respite!

Something Close to Normal

Robbie is back in 'normal' mode – well, not normal exactly, Robbie doesn't do normal but he manages a fairly close approximation. He has been trying to make up for being a pain in the rear on Christmas morning, I have forgiven him, but he is still cross with himself. He invited me to have an early night last night, but I realised that it was just his one track mind getting the better of him when he said “just you and me and the new train DVD”. I like watching the DVD's with him, but sometimes I think trains are taking over the bedroom. The top of the wardrobes are packed with his model trains, he has piles of railway magazines on his side of the bed and his collection train DVD's is growing like a triffid. Most of his books have taken up residence in the lounge, but there are still plenty upstairs and some of them even find their way into the bed! I have to ask him not to read his books out loud when I am trying to sleep!! People told me that having a 'toy boy' would be exhausting, but I don't think this is quite what they had in mind, sometimes it would be nice to be just a bit more normal.
On the subject of 'normal' Robbie was in a fragile mood on Christmas Eve, not yet in a full blown strop, but working on it. All the family were at my mum's, just enjoying a nice family day together, but Robbie sat there reading The Grocer! What am I going to do with him?

This evening he is watching a scary film on his laptop, it is called The Strangers. It is comical to watch him, he's there with his headphones on looking terrified and making occasional terrified gasps and whimpers. At least it has given me a bit of peace for a little while.

Christmas Day - by Robbie

Well it was Xmas Day, and yet again I was being the usual mardy-arse (nothing new there I here you all say..........), so Christine got up and went down to see the children open all there presents. In hindsight I should have been there for this and felt EXTREMELY guilty afterwards, as I do not see my own children much these days, let alone be part of such an important essential Xmas activity!

As I had been such a bar humbug I had to wait until the evening to see if I had even got any presents, and to my total surprise, a stocking appeared...

Gosh Santa has been good to me yet again.........I have been commenting (more like moaning.....lol..) to Christine for a while now that I would really love a digital camera, something that is small enough to take anywhere, even to work, so what a surprise to get a rather nice Fuji 8.2 mega pixel camera....its GREAT!! Small, fast, brilliant pictures, just perfect............but this was just the start of my presents!!

As you may know from previous postings, I have collecting the 'British Transport Film Collections' since they have been released, and for Xmas I had Volume Eight 'Points and Aspects' & Volume Nine 'Just the Ticket'. They are a great collection of various films all produced by the in-house production unit of the British Transport Commission that was originally set-up in 1949. Even if you are not that mad on trains, some of them can be really enjoyable to quite a wide audience.....

The rest of my Xmas stocking contained a number of GREAT DVD's, Spooks Series 1 box set, Shameless Series 3, Branchlines of Britain (a box set of three DVD's covering all branchlines of the UK, although I have not had chance to watch this yet, this does look GREAT!!), and also a very interesting BBC DVD called 'A Picture of Britain' presented by David Dimbleby, based on the TV series. Oh and I could NOT forget the 2009 edition of Who's Who in The Archers, as I have been dropping Christine hints for a couple of years now, and finally I have a copy, although I bet I know who will be reading it more than I will............lol...........:)

The Incredible Sulk!

I have been feeling really rough, I just don't seem able to get better despite antibiotics, steroids, inhalers and various other pills and potions, I am so frustrated with it. I would have liked to postpone Christmas, but it wasn't to be. I wasn't as organised as usual and we had a number of last minute preparations in order to be ready for the big day. Robbie had a strop because he wanted to set the kitchen out slightly differently and I wouldn't let him because it just wasn't practical. Robbie is so closely in touch with his inner child that he is capable of a 'terrible two's' style strop whenever the need arises, and since I have no need of an extra child I usually just leave him to it until he manages to recapture his inner child and behave like a human being again.

Unfortunately when Christmas Day dawned Robbie was still in a strop, he had most of the bed, and the whole duvet with covers pulled over his head and his rear end sticking out. My attempts to communicate were rebuffed so I left him in bed while I went down to watch the family open their presents. I knew it was going to be one of those days when I found the treat left for me downstairs – a pile of dog sick! Meg had stolen some chocolates the day before and obviously it didn't agree with her. Not only had she chosen to target the only piece of carpet on the ground floor, but everyone else seemed to be wearing blinkers, they managed to avoid stepping in it without even seeing it. After that glorious start to the day I stank of disinfectant as I settled down to watch them open their presents, but it was still very special. I had put hours of effort into wrapping everything up, but in a matter of minutes everything was unwrapped and the lounge was a covered in wrapping paper – more cleaning up! When sanity was restored to the lounge I plodded upstairs to see if 'the incredible sulk' had become human again, but he was still talking out of the only visible part of his anatomy so I left him to it and after a bath to get rid of the disinfectant smell, I got on with the cooking.

We had my brother and my parents with us for the day and we had a lovely time. It was tiring and by the end of the day I was so fed up with listening to Guitar Hero on the Wii, but it was a very special day and there is nothing nicer than being surrounded by your family. Thankfully Robbie got his act together by lunchtime, and he joined in with the day. He had to wait until everyone had gone home to get his presents, but I think they were worth waiting for. He gave me several nice things including a signed copy of Pete Waterman's book A Train is for Life. It is nice to have the adult Robbie back!

Birthday Boy

It was Sam's 14th Birthday on Saturday. Having a birthday so close to Christmas is a bit hard on him so we always try hard to make it special for him. Of course if he had been born on time his birthday would not have been in Christmas week, he was due on 8th December – but I admit that a December birthday was a bit of bad planning on my part!
Robbie had been to a gig in London on Friday evening and it was close to 12.30am when I picked him up from the station and he was off again on a rail tour at the crack of dawn on Saturday morning. Sam was fine about Robbie going out on his birthday, in fact it suited him because Sam and I were going clothes shopping and Robbie has very fixed ideas about clothes. Sam had most of the things he had asked for, dvd's, books, converse boots, a phone and other bits and bobs. I was still feely pretty diabolical because of the combined effects of my asthma and my flu bug but Sam and I went to town and had a good time. He bought the clothes he wanted including a ridiculously expensive pair of pants, a hat that looks quite good on him and a smart coat. We also went to see Grandma and Grandad and Sam had another lovely present, a pair of Vann's trainers.
Robbie was quite late home, but we saved Sam's birthday cake until he got back, Robbie's rendition of 'Happy Birthday to You' was memorable to say the least, but the main thing was that we were all together for Sam to blow out the candles. I think Sam had a good day and Robbie certainly enjoyed his rail tour, he hasn't stopped talking about it since he got back.

Undivided Attention?

I went back to the doctors yesterday because this cough/breathing problem just will not get better. I am not impressed, I have to have a week off work and I have been given a third inhaler and steroids. Oh well, if it makes me better it will be worth it.

Do you remember Robbie's promise about me having his undivided attention until next February? It seems we have a different interpretation of 'undivided attention' because Robbie is off to a gig tonight and he will not be home until midnight and tomorrow morning he will be leaving early to go on a rail tour! He hasn't been around to help with the shopping for weeks, so I hope he will be OK with beans on toast for Christmas dinner!!!

A Near Death Experience!

I have been suffering (not exactly in silence) with a chest infection that refuses to get better, it hurts to breathe and my cough is so bad that I end up choking. I have struggled to keep up with even the simple tasks like feeding Robbie, so I was annoyed on Tuesday evening when he arrived home late and then went to bed in a huff because he didn't want what I had cooked. I left him to it and got on with my evening, but when I went to bed he had managed to occupy the entire bed and my efforts to shift him proved futile. I gave up and took up residence on the sofa with a whole duvet to myself – luxury! My cough makes it hard to sleep, but I was warm and comfortable and I must have drifted off to sleep in the end. I woke again to the gradual realisation that I couldn't breathe and it felt as if there was a crushing weight on my chest. My thoughts seemed to be in slow motion, I wondered briefly if I was dead, or perhaps it was the start of a heart attack. Finally I was sufficiently awake to work out that the cat was asleep on my chest!!

So Frustrated!

I am so frustrated!! On Friday my asthma started to get really bad, I couldn't breathe I just kept coughing and coughing until I choked, it was horrible. As the weekend went on it got worse, I can't sleep because of the coughing, and not being able to breathe is scary, it is even a struggle to talk. I don't go to the doctors very often, but after a difficult weekend it was starting to feel out of control and I was worried that it could be bronchitis, so I really needed to get it checked out. I have to take Sam to school so Robbie rang the doctor for me as soon as the appointment line opened at 8am. He was put into the queueing system and when his call was answered there were no appointments left. In the end I had to have an appointment as an emergency and even then it is with the prescribing nurse not with a doctor. It never used to be this difficult to see a doctor, we just had to ring and we got an appointment the same day, then Tony Blair imposed some targets to make the system work better and surprise surprise, it has been a disaster ever since!

So, I am sitting at home waiting to go to the doctors and wondering how to stop the cat from climbing up the Christmas tree!