Why Me?

In general I try to be a fairly helpful sort of person, nothing out of the ordinary, just on the boring side of normal if you know what I mean. So I really can't work out what it is about me that makes all sorts of people tell me about their problems.

I can be minding my own business wandering around the supermarket and bump into a parent that I knew slightly because years ago our children were in the same year at school. When I realise that I can't dart off in a different direction and pretend I haven't seen her, I manage a polite 'hello', and before I can stop myself the foolish question 'how are you' has slipped from my lips. Time slows down and my eyes glaze over as she relates every intimate and cringe makingly embarrassing health problem she has had in the last ten years. I do my best to compose my expression while my brain franticly searches for a plausible excuse to escape. When I finally reach the freedom of the car park I vow to be more careful in future, but it is so difficult to avoid the phrase 'how are you?'.

Another person who I know slightly because our children are friends bumped into me in the fizzy drinks section of the supermarket and after the briefest greeting proceeded to tell me in graphic detail about the trouble she was experiencing with piles – far too much information!

At work people tell me about problems with their children, their partners, their health and various unmentionable issues. I don't think I am especially sympathetic, I don't give amazing advice, I usually tell them that they understand their individual circumstances best so they are best placed to know the right answer for them. It isn't even that they think that if I can cope with Robbie I can cope with anything, because most of them don't know him. I really don't know what makes them confide in me.

A few weeks ago a customer at work asked for advice about a product, I helped him briefly as I would any customer. Now he seeks me out and comes to have a chat with me, he is a little unusual, in fact he may be the most boring man in the world. Last week he came in and told me about the history of a company that produces batteries, complete with dates, locations and sales figures. This week he took twenty minutes to tell me about the history and evolution of the cassette tape recorder. I asked if it was a special interest of his, he shook his head and said that he just likes information, then he added that he is most interested in the history of the teasmaid. I was horrified, could this possibly be Robbie's long lost twin! But to get back to the original question – why me?!

A Disturbed Night

One thing that Robbie is very good at is sleeping, he has even been known to fall asleep mid sentence. Unfortunately he does not always make it easy for me to sleep, his legs seem to have a life of their own and kicks the duvet about and worse still he lets the heat out of the bed. Occasionally he manages to roll himself up in the duvet, leaving me shivering with no covers, but at the weekend he came up with a new way to keep me awake. I had changed the bedding and he'd helped me to put the duvet cover on, but as we were drifting off to sleep he suddenly announced that I had forgotten to put a bottom sheet on the bed. I assured him that there was a bottom sheet but he refused to believe me and he put his search light on to check. I threatened him with unspeakable consequences and he grudgingly turned the light off. I was just starting to doze when he accused me of putting a nylon sheet on the bed, I began to think he was mad, where would I find a nylon sheet? I told him it was cotton, just like all the others but he wouldn't believe me, the light went back on so that he could check and I was becoming increasingly angry. The light was eventually turned off, but Robbie began a long and rambling account of synthetic fabrics that I have not heard of since the 1970's. Suddenly there was silence and then gentle snoring, Robbie had fallen asleep, but by this time I was wide awake!

Train Trouble in France

A man in France got his hand sucked down a train toilet when he tried to retrieve his mobile phone from toilet. That must have taken a bit of explaining when he was rushed to hospital with the toilet still attached to his arm.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7693386.stm

XC Refurbished HST

On Thursday the BBC Midlands Today news program had a clip about the return of the HST. We don't get that TV channel in Northampton so on Friday Robbie sent me a link so that I could watch the clip. It was good, I still think the Cross Country livery lacks sparkle, in fact it is downright dull, but I can see the attraction of the HST, it looks as if they have done a very good job with the refurbishment of the trains and they certainly seem to be popular with the passengers. The HST's are the same age as Robbie, but after their twenty million pound upgrade they are looking better than ever. Hopefully they will continue in service for many years because Robbie loves them and anything that keeps him happy gets my vote. Talking of upgrades there was a news item last week about the staggering amount of money that the Republican party have spent on Sarah Palin's wardrobe. In her case I think they wasted their money, she is still very scary. Andy Cooper the MD of Cross Country appeared in the news clip about the HST what he said was interesting, but it crossed my mind that the company could learn from the political parties and use a stylist to make him seem a little more 'cuddly' and exciting.

The Bottom Line

Friday morning was one big rush, Robbie was running late again but this time it was planned, he had worked late the previous day before going to see Blood Red Shoes at the Academy in Birmingham. He didn't get back to Northampton until midnight and it was 1am before we got to bed, so it is hardly surprising that he didn't want to get up at 5am. Robbie was still galloping around in his pants when I was trying to get Sam organised, but he managed to get dressed and out of the house in time for his train. It was not the most inspiring vision to start the day, but I managed to banish all thoughts of Robbie's underwear from my mind and get on with the day. Robbie arrived home in a cheerful mood and announced that he'd had a brilliant day because the new pants he was wearing felt so comfortable. I was not quite prepared for such detailed information about his underwear (it's OK, I will spare you the detail) but if that is all it takes to bring a smile to his face I will know what to buy him for Christmas!

Running Late

Robbie has been so tired recently, he is very busy at work but I think mainly it is the legacy of the flu bug that we have had because it left me feeling exhausted too. We have had a couple of occasions when Robbie has struggled to get up when the alarm went off just after 5am, but this morning we both managed to go back to sleep and when we woke up it was half past seven! Panic ensued, Sam and I leave for school at 7.45am so there was frantic activity in order to catch up. I left with Sam only ten minutes later than usual and he got to school in good time. I then had to head back to pick Robbie up to get him to the station as quickly as possible – not an easy task in rush hour!

He settled himself in the car and began talking about car design - I turned up the radio and he took the hint! Then we got on to the subject of buses and coaches, believe it or not we managed to have an argument about the difference between a bus and a coach! Always one to choose just the 'right' moment to drop a bombshell Robbie announced that he was going 'out to play' on Saturday. Apparently he absolutely has to go because the HST is on an unusual diagram and it probably won't happen again. I was unimpressed, I would rather he finished the fence instead, but he keeps putting it off. I said that he seems to be always out, but this was denied strenuously, he said that he hasn't done his usual HST trips this year. I reminded him that he often goes away for the weekend to do the rail tours, but he said that that was different, it is (allegedly) hard work, not like going on the HST. The answer seemed simple to me, and I said that maybe he should give up the rail tours. He erupted with a tirade of loud and incoherent protestations. Clearly giving up the rail tours is unthinkable – I think he would rather give me up! Poor Robbie, he has such a hard life, how could I possibly deprive him if time with his precious HST. I expect that by Saturday he will have persuaded me to get up at the crack of dawn to take him to the station!

Too Hot To Handle

We had a couple of weeks without heating because we were waiting for the plumber to come and mend the boiler. It wasn't a big issue because we still had hot water and we had the gas fire if we needed it so it wasn't cold, but obviously we wanted it to be done quickly so that the heating was available when we needed it. The plumber came on Saturday and the heating was restored to full working order – and that was when the trouble started! Robbie will not stop tampering with the thermostat and the timer. I woke up at 3am on Sunday morning and I thought I had a fever it was so hot, then I realised that the boiler was thundering away heating the whole house to tropical extremes. Robbie had allegedly set the timer the day before so the heating should not have been on and the thermostat certainly shouldn't have been set at maximum. I woke Robbie and demanded that he should go and turn it off, he showered me with insults and we had a full scale row before he reluctantly plodded downstairs to do the deed. Since then we have had a battle, I set the thermostat and the timer and when he thinks I will not notice he overrides the timer and turns up the temperature. I could understand it if the house was cold, but it isn't, it is warm and comfortable. This morning he whizzed the thermostat around to maximum as soon as he got up, so when I went to the bathroom I was in danger of burning myself on the radiator – can you imagine explaining that at the casualty department! I am getting really fed up with this ongoing battle - I wonder if they make tamper proof controls?

Road Rage

I am so sick of road works in Northampton, it has taken months to be rid of the road works in the area around the station, so I have not been overjoyed to find new roadworks popping up like mushrooms all around the town. I know that roads have to be maintained, but it is so annoying. It wouldn't be so bad if you could actually see them making progress, but they are so slow that you would need time lapse photography to capture any movement at all!

There is a road that I use every day (along with thousands of other people) and they are doing resurfacing work on it. It has created chaos in that part of town and this has been compounded by the unhelpful notices that appeared to announce the impending road closure. The notice read “This road will be closed off peak from .....” what on earth does off peak mean? The train operating companies can't agree on a definition of off peak, telephone companies have their own ideas about it, and the fuel companies have yet another interpretation. I wasn't until the works had started that they decided to let us in to their little secret, off peak (according to them) means between 9.30am and 3.30pm. They are obviously not used to providing helpful information, so they redressed the balance (and caused chaos) by putting up a sign on the Billing Road to inform drivers that the road ahead was closed - with the arrow pointing in the wrong direction!

Leaves on the Line

When I got in from work this evening I was too tired and distracted to take much notice of Robbie rabbiting on about his journey to work this morning. As I tuned back in to what he was saying I thought he said there were 'extreme red head conditions' and I imagined the station being overrun with people who had ginger hair! He'd actually said there were 'extreme rail head conditions' that is just a posh way of saying leaves on the line! Network Rail were to blame because the rail head treatment train had not been able to run across the section - they were blaming bad weather, but we haven't had any bad weather yet! Personally I think the red heads would have been a more exciting reason for being late for work.

'Exciting' Information

Robbie and I finally had a weekend together without having to rush around, and at long last we are both feeling a little more human again after the flu bug. There is nothing nicer than waking up on a Saturday morning and not having to rush to get up. I had almost forgotten how good it felt, I had also forgotten Robbie's unfailing ability to spoil the moment - this week his thoughts strayed to the hand dryers in the gents toilets at Leeds Station! Why would he imagine that I would be interested at all, and why choose that moment to share such 'exciting' information? I don't suppose I will ever be able to change him, but there are times when I wish he could be just a little bit more 'normal'.