Off Colour

Last night was so stressful! I am sick of Robbie counting my grey hairs so I decided to use one of those hair colours that washes out after a number of washes. I asked Robbie if he could help me to put the stuff on my hair so that I didn't get it on my skin. That proved to be a big mistake, he was really rough and it hurt so much when he rubbed it in that I was crying out in agony. I can't bear people to touch my head at the best of times and he seemed to be taking a perverse pleasure in my plight, clearly the power had gone to his head. I had to leave the colour on for 15 minutes and Robbie timed it to the second, I really didn't realise that one person could cause so much irritation in such a short time!

When my hair was sorted out I went to bed to calm down and do some reading. I must have dozed off because the next thing I remember is Robbie talking to me and trying to wake me up. I wasn't too keen on being woken and I tried hard to stay asleep, but Robbie had other ideas. He climbed over the bed and trod on my leg, then he put his bedside lamp on, it is like a search light and there was no way I could sleep with that thing dazzling me. He then decided that this was an appropriate time to sit up in bed and eat Minstrels. The noise of him chasing the sweets around his teeth was bad enough but the chomping was intolerable, I threatened him with dire consequences. I thought seriously about sleeping on the sofa but I just buried myself under the covers and I must have dozed off again despite the adverse circumstances. I woke suddenly to find the bed frame being bashed low down on my side of the bed. I found Robbie, naked on his hands and knees looking for an invisible cat under the bed! Words were exchanged and he finally got back in bed and was instantly asleep. Sometimes I wonder how he has managed to survive for so long!

Feeling Old!

I'm feeling old! I keep blaming Robbie for wearing me out, but I think the cold I had last week has exhausted me. I can cope with sniffles and sneezing, bit it made me ache all over and I alternated between feeling shivery and being too hot. The cold has more or less gone but it has left me with an annoying cough and it has started my asthma off, so I am feeling tired and frustrated. Robbie tries his best to say the right thing but he never gets it quite right, he assures me that I'm not old but rather than quitting while he's ahead he always goes on to say 'well not to me anyway' and that gives a completely different message!!

I had one of those 'end of an era' feelings last week. Laura had her last ever lesson at the music centre, she has decided to give up lessons to concentrate on her A Level exams. I have been going to the music centre for so many years that it will seem very strange not to have to go anymore. Laura plays the Saxophone very well and I love listening to her play, but it took her a while to find an instrument that suited her. Emily knew from the beginning that she wanted to play the flute and she went from strength to strength. Laura began with the clarinet, in fact she continued playing the clarinet until last year, but she always longed to play the saxophone. Somehow a music teacher convinced her that she really should play the oboe instead. I remember the oboe phase in excruciating detail, it sounded like a duck being tortured and it coincided with Sam's early adventures on the violin - it was agony! Laura didn't enjoy the oboe and before long she took up the saxophone instead, she must have been playing the Saxophone for about seven years now. All my prayers were answered when Sam gave up the violin in favour of the cornet - a much more tolerable sound! I am not very musical, in fact I am pretty close to being tone deaf, but I know when it is painful and the oboe phase was memorable for all the wrong reasons.

I met my new nephew for the first time on Sunday, he is lovely. They have decided to call him Oliver John, that is quite a relief because my brother wanted to call him Cecil - poor little chap that would have been cruel!

Coping Strategies

Recently a number of people have asked how I cope with Robbie, I don't really see it as coping with him, I want to be with him. You could just as well ask him how he copes with me! He is certainly more unique than most, and yes, I admit that he can be downright frustrating, but I think that has something to do with being male. On the whole I am supportive of his interests, after all while he is playing trains or going to gigs he isn't getting into trouble, and he could have chosen far more expensive hobbies. I guess the answer to how I cope with Robbie lies in the blog, when he frustrates me I write about it, it prevents me from beating him to a pulp! He has many good points too, but perhaps I don't write about those things as much - there are limits to what I want to share!

I don't really mind Robbie's railway obsession, we have enough common ground to make it work. I am very interested in history and railway history is fascinating, so there is plenty to keep me interested. I enjoy travelling by train and it is nice to go on journeys together, but most of the time I don't go with Robbie on his days out. I have things to do at home and I would get bored at diesel galas and model rail exhibitions. You have to be certain kind of person to enjoy trundling backwards and forwards over the same stretch of track all day just to travel behind different engines. The one good thing about railway open days is that they make Robbie seem incredibly normal, there are some very odd specimens around. I think it is the sandals and socks that I find most alarming! To be fair most railway people I have met are nice, but however normal they seem they all have that obsessive streak to a greater or lesser extent.

Robbie has mentioned that one or two of his colleagues partners have threatened to write a blog too. I could always offer a spot for a guest blogger!! Robbie showed me the first edition of their staff magazine, it made me rather grateful because Robbie's obsessions are much more normal than some. Imagine having to cope with someone who is so obsessed with bottle openers that his collection has taken over an entire house! At least Robbie can't bring a deltic home!

Robbie's next hospital appointment came through last Friday and typically the date offered was for the week of our holiday. He has managed to change it, but it means that he will have to wait until mid June to get the results of his MRI scan.

Scary Images

The Burgess legs have had their first outing of the summer, on Saturday morning Robbie appeared in the lounge wearing his very loud patterned shorts and a summer T-shirt. He was heading out to the garden to remove a small tree so that we can replace several of the fence panels. He wasn't out there for very long before he returned claiming that it was all done, I think the tree took one look at his shorts and surrendered!

Saturday morning was a rare luxury, it was nice not to have to get up and start rushing around at the crack of dawn. Robbie was tired after his adventures on Friday so when I woke up there was only the radio to keep me company, but I enjoyed the luxury of doing absolutely nothing. Eventually Robbie woke claiming that he needed a cup of coffee before he could face the day. Finally he returned to bed with his coffee and I had his undivided attention or so I thought. It didn't take long before his mind had wandered and he started talking about an interesting article in Model Rail magazine. I don't suppose I will ever change him, but it doesn't stop me trying! Having worked extra hard to get his full attention, I thought I was winning until he suddenly announced that there was a long article about CrossCountry in Modern Railways! I know when I'm beaten so I asked if I could read the article, he wasn't too keen on that because he hadn't finished reading it himself, but eventually he relented. I'm glad I read it, there were some very good pictures of CrossCountry trains and a truly scary photo of Andy Cooper MD of CrossCountry - he looked like a very angry bank manager. The article made a lot of sense and it made him sound considerably more human than his photo would suggest. I'm still a bit of a sceptic about some of the changes that CrossCountry are committed to, especially the removal of the shops on their trains, but I must admit that Andy Cooper puts forward a very convincing business argument for the changes. The whole article made a lot of sense, perhaps it is just my interpretation but I got the feeling the moderate language used to describe the abject failures of Network Rail was a little unnatural.

Over the years my children have got me involved in all sorts of tasks and I have acquired the strangest skills, I still remember struggling to make a lion costume at short notice because Sam insisted on dressing as Aslan for Book Day at school. Until yesterday I had never been called upon to paint a teapot! Emily returned from town with a teapot and explained that she needed to paint a design on the side for her friend's birthday. Apparently her friend wanted a teapot and Emily wanted it to be unique. Emily began the painting but before long I found myself in the hot seat and I spent a pleasant couple of hours painting a parrot on to the side of a teapot. The end result was surprisingly successful and I must admit that I enjoyed doing it, I really should allow more time for my crafts.

Timetable Error

Robbie was late home last night because he'd had a very busy day, but he was looking forward to indulging his passion for trains with an 'out and about' day today. Not surprisingly trains seemed to be his main topic of conversation - nothing new there! He even showed me a detailed timetable that he had written for his train journeys today, now that really is sad! He was so proud of his timetable that he insisted that I should take a closer look at it, it was three pages long but it may as well have been in Greek as far as I was concerned. This morning he realised that he had made one basic error which made the timetable pointless - he'd left it at home! I recieved a series of frantic phone calls from Robbie insisting that I dictate the information to him over the phone. It wasn't as straightforward as it sounds, but he seems happy enough now, so hopefully he will leave me in peace to get on with my work!

Robbie the Red Head?

Robbie has been a bit challenging recently. In fact he was so challenging yesterday that I asked him if he liked the idea of having red hair – because if he carried on like that I would be seriously tempted to bury an axe in his head! Network Rail has been annoying him again and when they start messing around with his timetables it always makes him like this. I had to ban him from talking about Network Rail in the end because his language was far from moderate. I guess I should have just introduced a swear box, he would have been bankrupt within an hour. It must be very frustrating to have to deal with Network Rail every day, but when he gets home he needs to learn to forget about it. On the subject of frustration, he gets really cross with himself because his legs have been very painful lately and it makes everything just a bit more difficult. I guess my job is to help him to keep everything in perspective.

Having decided against the axe, I was left with only one way to silence Robbie – to feed him! I made him some Rice Crispy Cakes (one of his favourites) because a couple of weeks ago he had mentioned that he would like some. I also made him some rice pudding because he and Sam like it; we don’t usually have a dessert so he needn’t think I’m going to make a habit of making puddings. He was too cross with himself to be appreciative, the rice pudding was too dry and the Rice Crispy cakes didn’t have enough chocolate – when did Robbie become Jamie Oliver! A frank exchange of views became necessary and afterwards he was considerably more appreciative.

This morning he was running late and he got himself into a mega strop. His world stopped because someone had stolen his pants – why would anyone want them! He was just looking in the wrong place, but that put his whole morning routine out and things went from bad to worse, he spilled coffee on his tie, lost his travel mug - and his temper! I gave him a lift to the station to help him to catch up with himself and he gradually calmed down. He admitted that there is another cause to his frustration – his Model Rail magazine has not been delivered on time! It sounds trivial, but to Robbie it really is a big deal, you should hear him going on about it. I got a smile out of him in the end when he admitted that he has found his own way of cheering himself up – he’s going to a diesel gala at the week end. Well, at least he’s predictable!

Do You Ever Wonder How Your Mind Works?

Do you ever wonder how your mind works, or whether you think in the same way that other people do. I'm absolutely certain that Robbie's brain works differently - goodness knows what goes on in his head! I used to read the Beezer when I was younger and they had cartoon characters called the Numbskulls who managed the various departments in their man's head. Their antics were always very funny and they often got their human into very embarrassing predicaments. Now that could explain a lot, maybe Robbie has little men in his head!

Anyway, back to the point. Yesterday I was busy working when suddenly I found myself thinking that Rev Awdry (creator of Thomas The Tank Engine) was extremely sexist. Why were all the engines male? Why were the subservient characters and carriages female? and why did he choose such dreadful female names? I wondered what train of thought could possibly have caused those particular thoughts to pop into my head, and I tried hard to think backwards. I had written my blog article much earlier in the day and I had included a photo of the Class 20 from Robbie's trip. I'd noticed that it had a 'face', somehow it reminded me of a character I had seen before, but I couldn't remember who or where. Even when I closed my eyes tightly I couldn't quite make the link so I moved on to other things, but my brain must have continued to work away at the problem. I wrote my other blog about the books I have read and I made a mental note that I still needed to write about the railway history book that I bought last week. After that I got on with my real work and didn't give another conscious thought to trains or books. At lunchtime I was working on something completely unrelated when up popped my thoughts about Rev Awdry and his engine characters. I presume my earlier observation of a 'train with a face' had combined with my thoughts about books and my brain had wandered off at a tangent.

I guess the answer is that the Railway Stories of Rev Awdry are sexist because they reflect the time that they were written when matters of gender, class and even race were treated very differently. I don't know why he chose such dreadful female names, but perhaps it was his revenge on the world for lumbering him with a name like Wilbert! I loved those stories when I was a child and my own children loved Thomas too. I am so glad that times have changed and I it is nice that Thomas has adapted to the modern world.

Eventually I remembered who the Class 20 looked like, it was Rodney Copperbottom from the film Robots. See what you think.

Do You Think They Make Straight Jackets for Cats?

Do you think they make straight jackets for cats? After last night they will be lucky if they survive for much longer. I have a really bad cold and I have been feeling like 'death warmed up' so I was glad to finally get to bed on Monday evening. I was so cold, I just couldn't get warm and I struggled to fall asleep. I awoke to feeling cold and confused and aching all over. There was a lead weight where my legs should have been and for a split second I thought I was dying from the feet up but when my brain woke up I realised that George the cat had sneaked upstairs and parked himself on my legs! He was despatched in the direction of his own bed and having regained the use of my legs I snuggled back into bed in search of sleep. I dreamed about rats (I don't know why) then suddenly there was a thump on the bed and I was jolted awake. It wasn't a huge rat with evil intent, it was Oreo was using the bed as a trampoline! By this time I was too shattered to do more than threaten him with extinction, but being male he is a slow learner and he and Dave continued with their boisterous game of tag for what seemed like an eternity in the end I dragged myself out of bed, captured the prisoners and left them downstairs feeling very sorry for themselves. By the time I had settled back to sleep again it was time to get up!

The Wanderer Returns

On Sunday morning I didn't get an early call from Robbie, in fact I didn't get a call at all. In the end I sent him a text and shortly afterwards he phoned, it was clear that he had only just woken up, he wasn't making a lot of sense and breakfast seemed to be the only thing on his mind, so I left him to it and got on with my day.

I had to take Emily back to university and the first challenge was to cram everything into the car, then after a quick trip to the supermarket so that she could stock up we headed off to Leicester. On arrival the first test was to find a parking space sufficiently close to Emily's accommodation, having achieved that goal we then had to carry all her stuff up to her flat on the third floor. They have a lift, but most of the stuff was really heavy and by the time we had emptied the car I had to be revived with a nice cup of tea before heading home again.

Robbie got back in the afternoon and he talked non stop about his weekend, he'd had a brilliant time and he wanted to share every single detail of it with me. He was very impressed with the catering company and he described everything from the food they provided to the T-shirts they wore, he even sent me the link to the company website - typical of Robbie to be impressed by food! Part of the appeal of the rail tours is the route they take and apparently some people chose a tour just because they haven't travelled on that particular section of a line before. Robbie started to tell me every detail of the outward route and he was very disappointed when I told him that I already knew because I had looked on the website. He showed me pictures of the tour that had already been posted on YouTube and he was appalled when I said that Class 20's were not very pretty. With the air of exaggerated patients he explained in great detail that it was the sound that was so special and he then played several clips from the internet to prove his point! I have a feeling he will still be talking about his weekend for days.

Gravy Train Catering Spitfire Rail Tours

This morning we were slightly later than planned and Robbie was delayed further by another 'Incredible Hulk' episode. He tore the sleeve of a third shirt within a week! Twice may be considered a coincidence, but three times is stretching credibility. I suspect he has been plotting to justify buying new shirts, well, if he can't cope with long sleeves he will just have to put up with short sleeves!

Being Prepared

I got at text from Robbie ridiculously early this morning. He was very excited about the rail tour from Crewe to Weymouth and didn't seem at all bothered by the early start. I was less enthusiastic about getting up, but I couldn't stay in bed for long because I had to take Sam to a paintball party. Sam was very enthusiastic about it but I was more apprehensive, I wasn't convinced that the world was ready for Sam to be armed with a paintball gun. I still have vivid memories of my multi coloured garage door after he got a paintball gun from the Gadget Shop a couple of years ago! Hostile Fire the venue for the paintball experience, is in a part of the county that I am not very familiar with, so we had to leave plenty of time in case I got lost. I found it fairly easily in the end and it was a lovely drive through the countryside. Sam had a brilliant time 'under fire' and I enjoyed a very peaceful morning getting my work done.

My mum invited us for a meal at her house this evening, because Emily is going back to university tomorrow. It was a lovely evening and we all came home so full that we will not need to eat for a week. Mum sent Emily home with one of her legendary chocolate cakes to take to university. She is a brilliant cook and her cakes are best of all. The only problem is that she always cooks enough for an army! I wonder if the tendency to prepare for siege conditions develops with age, when I look at her kitchen I am sure she wouldn't need to shop for at least a year. She has even taken 'being prepared' to new limits in the bathroom, there were 16 loo rolls, 4 bottles of thick bleach, 3 varieties of air freshener, 2 spare rim blocks and a choice of three varieties of moist toilet roll. At least they will never worry about running out of anything! My step father David was in mum's bad books for misbehaving at the supermarket, apparently he told mum that she was packing the trolley all wrong - that sounds very familiar! He was trying hard to get back in her good books but he could have saved himself a lot of grief by keeping his thoughts to himself in the first place!