Is It Raining Men?

Friday went past in a blur of activity, dealing with all those last minute jobs that have to be done before going on holiday. The day began with me chasing Robbie upstairs, he had been promising to go up to the loft to fetch some of my talking books for weeks and he had finally run out of excuses. Once he was safely in the loft I moved his ladder, to make sure he didn't escape until I was satisfied that all the jobs in the loft. There was a lot of thumping and clattering, it sounded as if he would fall through the ceiling at any minute, but just for once my worst fears were not realised. He emerged triumphantly bearing a box full of talking books that for the last few weeks he had insisted were not there, and he insisted that he had to have a shower before he did anything else. Unfortunately I had just run the bath for the dog and since Robbie was already dirty and semi naked (as usual) he was the ideal person to bath he dog! She wasn't overjoyed about the experience, but she behaved very well until I was safely out of range, then she shook herself vigorously and covered Robbie and the bathroom with water. Finally a rather damp and dejected, but clean dog and a clean and adequately dressed husband emerged to face the world and we were ready to go out and tackle the long list of errands that needed our attention.

We had already bought a whole trolley full of 'essentials' for the pets at the pet superstore, and we were heading to the garage to check the tyre pressure before braving the supermarket. Robbie had been getting increasingly annoyed with himself and he was ready to fall out with his own shadow. I knew what the problem was, he was in pain and struggling to walk, but there was nothing I could do to help. He sat in the car and used some of the more obscure and descriptive words in his vocabulary to tell his right leg exactly how he felt about it. Of course the leg took no notice, and Robbie grew increasingly angry with himself. In the end I had to get cross with him and remind him that many people with spina bifida would think he was lucky to be mobile and have fairly normal function. It sounds hard hearted, but I love him, I can't change the way things are, but I can do my best to keep him motivated and help him to keep a sense of perspective. He has to go back to the doctor to get his pain relief sorted out, but as usual I will have to drag him there!

We got everything done in the end, but by the time went to bed we were shattered and we had to make an early start on Saturday morning.

I Don't Believe It!

We have six children, and who is it that always gets into scrapes - Robbie!! I had a lonely, but very busy evening trying to catch up with all the jobs needed before our holiday and I was feeling very tired when Robbie phoned. It was his Corporal Jones voice (don't panic Mr Mainwaring) and if the pitch had got much higher he would have strangled himself. I am not sure if he was more afraid of the situation or the prospect of telling me, probably the latter! He stuttered and stumbled around the subject before admitting that he had 'got lost' in Birmingham New Street Station, found himself on the wrong platform and missed his last train home. Once again I had to make a mercy dash to Rugby to meet him, he got a train to Coventry and a taxi to Rugby!

Surprisingly for Robbie he wasn't very talkative on the way home, in fact he was snoring long before we got back to Northampton. It was 1.30am before we got home, he woke up as I reversed onto the drive, thanked me, humped out of the car and trotted into the house, leaving me to take care of myself. By the time I got in he had already made himself a pile of sandwiches and sliced up a mini pork pie. He was having an animated conversation with the cat who had managed to steal a slice of pork pie! I was so tired, that I headed straight to bed leaving Robbie and the cat exchanging insults while enjoying their midnight feast. Next time, I will leave him stranded!

A Sad Goodbye

If it didn't work the first time, I really don't know why Robbie thinks the same old tactics will work now. Last night he mentioned that he was going to a gig tonight, I wasn't best pleased because he had promised to do one or two important jobs that he failed to do at the weekend (when he went out to play). He claimed that he had told me about it weeks ago and if I couldn't remember it I must be going senile. He must think I'm stupid, he hadn't told me and he knew full well he hadn't told me, When he saw that I wasn't going to fall for for that line he changed tactic and told me how terribly upset he was because his favourite venue The Academy is closing and it holds so many memories that he had to go back one last time. He has missed his vocation, he should write for Mills and Boon! He was extra attentive this morning, he may have thought he fooled me, but I knew he just wanted to get into my good books because he needed a lift from the station very late tonight. You can read him like a book!

I tried out the sat nav yesterday, it is good. The best thing is that it has a female voice with an English accent, so I don't get too upset about it telling me what to do. I couldn't resist the temptation to try to teach the sat nav a few short cuts. If I didn't turn when it said, it would announce that it was recalculating and then it would give new instructions. When I had ignored it three times in succession, I'm sure I heard it give a grudging sigh before recalculating yet again. I think annoying the sat nav could be almost as much fun as annoying Robbie!

Not Up to The Job

It is a decision I have been putting off for a long time, but finally I have had to face facts, Robbie simply isn't up to the job. Half the time he is off playing trains, but even when he is physically present he has the attention span of a gnat. If it doesn't involve trains, computers or food he is not interested, but there are times that I need his undivided attention. I have tried everything, I have even resorted to begging, but it is hopeless, he just can't keep his mind on the job and far too often I get so frustrated that it leads to a row. Anyway I thought about it long and hard and I decided that I needed more than I was ever going to get out of Robbie, so I have made other arrangements. I have replaced him with a better model, I was surprised how easy it was, I wish I had done it years ago. I have bought a sat nav, it is wonderful, it doesn't navigate using Quail maps and it doesn't shout out when it sees a train. From now on Robbie is for decorative purposes only!

One Track Mind

I couldn't resist posting this picture of Oreo. He is not one of the great intellects of the cat world, how many cats do you know that get their heads stuck through the bars of a chair - every day. What he lacks in brain power he makes up for in girth, he is the greediest creature imaginable, on Friday he stole a whole bag of senior cat crunchies and he ate every bit.

Hands That Do Dishes

Robbie had one of his little tantrums a couple of weeks ago, the sort of tantrum that involves a lot of arm waving accompanied by fancy footwork and interminable ranting. He has this habit of turning his eyes heavenwards as if to call on support for a higher authority. If you block out the noise he looks very much like one of the ground staff trying to land a plane. The cause of all this annoyance was washing up liquid - yes honestly!

We use Persil Aloe Vera washing up liquid, we both like it and Fairy makes our hands sore so we have been brand loyal for years. Suddenly Tesco and Morrisons have stopped selling it. The cause of Robbie's tantrum was the appearance of an alien brand of washing up liquid in the kitchen. He doesn't do change! I have had to scour Northampton for Persil Aloe Vera brand, washing up liquid. You get some very odd looks when you buy 7 bottles at a time! Robbie has taken charge of the situation and he has emailed the manufacturer to find out what has gone wrong!!

A Mad, Mad World

A couple of weeks ago the bin men had a bit of a mishap with our wheelie bin, one of the pins that hold the lid in place was missing and it looked as if the bin had been caught on the emptying mechanism at the back of the bin lorry. I thought it would just be a case of Robbie ringing them up and someone sending me a new pin so that I could mend it, after all it wouldn't be difficult, even Robbie could do it! Apparently it is not that simple, believe it or not we have to have a Wheelie Bin Repair Team and they have to come out and assess the problem and decide if it can be repaired. I will probably cost more to assess the damage than it would to send out a new bin!

Communication Skills

Robbie rang me on Saturday morning at around 10am, he didn't have much to say except a load of drivel about trains, but he did mention that he would get home late on Saturday night rather than Sunday morning because he could get a lift. I gave him very firm instructions not to wake me up but I forgot to check that he had his house key. He didn't ring me again on Saturday, he forgets that I exist when he is 'playing trains'. Evening came and before I knew it was past 11pm and still no word from Robbie. The question of locking the front door bothered me, I couldn't go to bed and leave it open, I could lock it but not put the chain on, but there was a good chance that he didn't have his key because he didn't take his briefcase on Friday. I decided to wait up for him, so I kept myself busy with jobs until after 2am, when he rang to say that he was just going to bed! He embarked on a long and contorted story to explain his change of plan, the short version was that the train was seriously delayed. I wasn't interested in the detail, I just wanted to know why he didn't let me know earlier. He spluttered a bit, he even attempted to think up an excuse, but simple truth is that he forgot. I waited up until past 2am for nothing, I want overjoyed about it. Robbie will certainly not go down in history as one of the worlds great communicators.

Revenge is Sweet

They say revenge is sweet, I would probably have calmed down about Robbie going out to 'play trains' again, but leaving his flasher mac next to the washing machine for me to wash while he was out enjoying himself was a mistake. I considered accidentally putting it on a boil wash, but I didn't want to ruin the machine, so I had to be more subtle. Sam gave me the idea when he asked me not to play my talking books when we go on holiday next weekend because they get on his nerves. I was happy to agree because I intend to get on someone else's nerves! I have chosen some music CD's for a change, including some that I haven't listened to for a while. Cilla Black, Shaggy, Jimmy Nail, Dolly Parton, and a collection of music from the musicals, It is had to know which one Robbie dislikes most, probably the last one because he detests musicals. He doesn't like Country music either, I wonder how many times he could cope with Dolly Parton singing In the Ghetto - it could be a very long journey! There again I am a reasonable person and`I do quite like to listen to Radio 4 on a Saturday morning, so if Robbie starts being a bit more thoughtful, I may forgive him before Saturday!

Through Sam's Eyes.

Sam is amazing, I don't always understand how his mind works or what makes him tick, but just occasionally he allows me to have a little glimpse at the world through his eyes. He has an amazing general knowledge, better than anyone else I know, he is like a sponge soaking up ideas and information and processing it all in his own unique way. When we were driving in the car the other day he said that he liked to imagine people with their own signature tune to match their walk. I told him that I thought it was a really good idea but I didn't have enough music in my head to do that. He then asked me if I knew Henry Mancini, I told him that I didn't know anything about him except that he had something to do with music. Sam explained that Mancini composed a tune called Baby Elephant Walk and it was the perfect theme tune for Robbie. He played it for me on his PSP and he's right, it fits Robbie perfectly. I wasn't brave enough to ask what my theme tune was!