Robbie had one of his little strops on the train last night. He had planned to go late night shopping for shorts so that he could wear them to the diesel gala on Saturday. Being a man he had omitted to communicate his intentions to me (his personal chauffeur) and I had arranged to do something else. After a bit of juggling, I found time to take him shopping and after long deliberation he bought two pairs of shorts. Back at home he held the shorts up and asked if I liked them. Being a truthful sort of person I couldn't manage a blatant lie and I muttered something about the 'interesting colour'. Robbie forced the issue and eventually I admitted that I didn't like them. Still not satisfied he demanded to know why, until we were on the verge of an argument. I suggested that he should try them on as that was the only way to know for sure if they suited him. He tried them on (in the lounge!), it would be untrue to say they didn't fit, they did, but they restricted his ability to walk and talk to such an extent that parts of his anatomy were at risk of permanent damage. Apparently it is my fault that they have to be taken back! Yorkshire will still be treated to a view of the Burgess knees because I reminded him that he had a more suitable pair of shorts and they have the added attraction of allowing him to breathe.
I went to bed before Robbie last night. he was busy planning the contents of his rucksack for the morning. He called after me to promise that he would be careful not to wake anyone up when he got ready in the morning. Considerably later I was awoken by Robbie apparently jumping on the bed. From his conversation (with his invisible friend) I deduced that he was looking for a pair of socks - that man has more socks than Marks and Spencers, surely he has sufficient choice without having to track down a particular pair. I tried to ignore him, but after 5 or 10 minutes of continued disturbance I became more assertive, the lights went off and Robbie retreated still claiming that I was being unreasonable.
In order to get the full effect from the next paragraph you need a tune running through your head, Yakety Sax to be precise (it's the Benny Hill tune). If you need a clue follow this link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTiQDyVv7KQ
Right now play that tune in your head.
I woke this morning to the irritating bleep of my alarm clock, I realised Robbie was still sleeping next to me, so I gave him a hefty prod and moaned at him for setting my alarm. In one movement he was out of bed and at the window. A couple of expletives preceded the revelation that he had overslept and the taxi was outside. It seems I had forgotten to turn off my alarm clock last night and it had woken me at the weekday time of 5.30am. Robbie had hit the fast forward button and the next 4 or 5 minutes were a blur of footsteps, down the stairs, up the stairs, into the bathroom, out again, down the stairs, into the kitchen, up the stairs again, into the bedroom, jump on and off the bed down the stairs, pickup the rucksack, out of the house and into the taxi. He made his train and he woke everyone in the house! I am not prepared to disclose my thoughts when I couldn't get back to sleep, but I will sum it up by saying that I wasn't too happy!
I immersed myself in some family history research in lieu of sleep and enjoyed the peace and quiet - finally! Robbie rang me later to tell me that he had managed to make it to McDonalds and back to his connecting train on time. Unfortunately his leg gave way (it happens sometimes) and he fell down the side of the train, he has cuts and grazes and pain in his leg, back and assorted places. I hope it doesn't spoil his day
No comments:
Post a Comment