Teaching an Old Cat New Tricks

I saw far too much of the station car park last week, Robbie was working impossibly long hours and he was in so much pain that getting home on his own really wasn't an option. Thanks to the 'rancid green machines' (which are the bane of Robbie's life) I had plenty of time to take in all the 'delights' of Northampton Station. In fact I could probably have read the whole of War and Peace during my evening sojourns at the station. So by the time we got home and and got a meal on the table, Robbie was nodding off before his fork reached his mouth, like the dormouse at the Mad Hatter's tea party in Alice in Wonderland. 

It seemed as if the fun and closeness of the week before was just a distant dream but when life is tough and stressful, you have to take pleasure in the little things and the fleeting moments of fun. One evening after our meal I came into the lounge and was surprised to find Robbie wide awake and sitting at his computer. I was even more surprised to see Dave the cat sitting on his lap with his front paws leaning on the table, apparently looking at the computer screen. I told Robbie to "get that cat away from the table" but both he and the cat ignored me - nothing new there. As I sat down I realised that Robbie was talking to the cat comments such as "look at that one" and "this one is even better". Curiosity got the better of me and I walked over to see what they were doing. To my amazement they were looking at pictures of ginger cats! One thing is certain, there is no one in the world quite like Robbie and I am proud of him for so many reasons, but most of all for being true to himself. 

Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once. Lillian Dickson

Last Monday it was a case of coming back down to earth with a bump. I knew that after having Robbie at home for just over two weeks it was going to be hard for both of us to readjust to the demands of our usual weekday routine. I hate the early starts, even on a good day 5am feels like the middle of the night!


Robbie loves his job and usually after a couple of weeks off he can't wait to get back to work, but this time it was different. The prospect of some very tight deadlines when he got back would usually have made him more eager to return, but not this time. He could happily have taken another couple of weeks off. I think  his time off gave us a chance to learn (or re-learn) some very valuable lessons. For most of that time I still had to work and to attend to my usual daily responsibilities, so we couldn't go away - who wants to go away in February anyway! Instead we learnt to take pleasure in the ordinary little things in everyday life and to value what we have. Most important of all, we enjoyed the luxury of time. We had a lot of fun, we took time to visit and appreciate some of the interesting places on our own doorstep and we had time for each other. 


That was the easy bit, the secret is to make sure that we hang on to those important things when back on the treadmill of normal life. Last week was hard, perhaps harder than either of us expected, but we were strong and together we got through it. This week will have it's trials too, not least because Robbie is in so much pain, but we will deal with it together. We will make time to talk, to laugh and to enjoy special moments even on the most challenging day.

We stored up so many good memories while Robbie was off work. On the last day of his leave we went to the Rural Shopping Yard at Castle Ashby. It was like a spring afternoon, and we had a lovely time. Robbie bought some real ale mustard from the deli and there was even a shop named after him - Mr B's Traditional Sweet Shop. It was fun looking at the shops and enjoying the beautiful countryside but what made it really special was sharing the experience with Robbie.

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” Charles Swindoll

Spiral Archive

Robbie was very excited about Saturday, he had looked forward to it all week, but if I'm honest I wasn't keen. We were going to the Spiral Archive, record shop which is also a bookshop. I love books and the idea of spending ages checking out all the books in this shop was very attractive. However the shop contained two of the things that I really don't like, music and coffee, so I was apprehensive. I am not good with the smell of coffee, I really can't cope with loud Robbie type music and I knew that Robbie would be in there for ages. 

As it turned out I coped better with the smell of coffee and the music than I expected. I really enjoyed sorting through the books and I found a few treasures that I absolutely had to have. I have to admit to getting bored long before Robbie was ready to go, but that is not surprising because he was there for almost 3 hours!! I think he could have easily spent our whole annual budget, but in the end he came away with a bag full of treasures and a huge grin on his face. His purchases included Hatful of Hollow, Veruca Salt (7"), Altern 8 Activ-8 (7") and Altern 8 various remix's (12") as well as a couple of 1970s Hornby catalogues. It really was Robbie's idea of heaven, a shop that sells railway books as well as a huge selection of vinyl records. 

The Final 'Glowex' - For the Time Being

Thursday was our day, special to us but not for sharing on the blog. Among other things we went out for a meal, enjoyed more of the Northamptonshire countryside and visited the garden centre. So I will move on to Friday.


I really must love Robbie because I got up in the middle of the night to take him to the station for his 'away day'. This is Robbie's day in his own words and pictures.



London Midland 06.16 Northampton - Birmingham (blue train), 


Cross Country 07.30 Birmingham - York 

Grand Central HST at York Station 

Trans Pennine Express 09.57 York - Leeds, 

TPE York - Leeds

Northern 10.49 Leeds - Carlisle, 

Settle

From the window

Wow!

Northern 14.20 Carlisle - Sellafield, 

Saw 86101 Sir William A Stanier FRS @ Carlisle   

87002 Royal Sovereign @ Carlisle

Northern 16.48 Sellafield - Carlisle,  

37423 + KM01 ticking over in Sellafield Sidings

Virgin Trains 18.54 Carlisle - Birmingham, 


London Midland 22.53 Birmingham - Northampton


Mrs J 23.54 Northampton - Home

Back Again!

By Wednesday we were getting used to the lazy mornings and making the most of them, it was such a nice day that I wanted to freeze time and keep it like this for ever. I know that Robbie loves his work, but I will really miss him next week and I will not see much of him because he will be busy making up for lost time. It was lunchtime before we were ready to go out, we had one or two errands to do, doctors, chemist etc, but after that we had the day to ourselves. 

One thing that Robbie is very good at is twisting me around his little finger, I find it really hard to say no to him because I want him to be happy. We were chatting about the Doc Shop and the lovely day that we'd had and we both regretted that he hadn't bought the other pair of boots that he liked. They were tan Chelsea boots at such a good price that it seemed like madness to miss the chance of buying them, so we headed back to Wollaston (by a different but equally scenic route) and he had an early birthday present!

We drove home via Castle Ashby, Robbie loved the scenery and the rural shopping yard. He got lots of pleasure from wandering around taking photos. We had only been doing fairly ordinary things but it was such a nice day, I really didn't want it to end. 

The Doc Shop

Robbie has been pestering me to take him to Wollaston  for for months, but I have been putting off the inevitable  because I knew that it would prove expensive and once he knew how near it was he would want to go every week! The cause of all this excitement is the Doc shop and everyone who knows Robbie will know about his passion for Dr Marten's, so Tuesday found us heading to the Doc Shop.


Robbie is a man of many passions (some would say too many!) and even more obsessions. In order to accommodate his interest in old railway architecture and to enable him to spot traces of long lost railway lines we took a contorted but attractive route to Wollaston. It also took us past Dunkley's Resturant a unique (and very good) restaurant with a railway theme built on the site of the old Castle Ashby station. 

When we got to the Doc Shop there was a nice large car park and a not very promising looking building. What looked like a side entrance was in fact the entrance to the shop and we made a rather doubtful entrance. We found that we had walked into a 'tardis', a large shop packed with Dr Martens of every possible colour and design. Robbie was bouncing around like Tigger when suddenly a bright yellow pair of boots caught his eye. I was so grateful when he found out that they didn't have his size! 

The next hour or so was taken up with Robbie trying on shoes and boots and falling in love with every pair he tried. In the end he settled for a very smart pair of black Chelsea boots, a purple pair of 1461 shoes and a pair of absolutely unspeakable shoes that he has forbidden me to discuss. I love him very much and I want him to have footwear that makes him feel good, it is not easy for him coping with pain and 'disobedient' legs, but I must have been mad to let him buy those - my only defence is that love is blind!! I am doing my best to persuade him that he should keep them in the box in mint condition as a collectors item, but that may be an uphill struggle! Anyway we left the shop having paid less than the price of one normal priced pair of Dr Martens and Robbie had a big grin on his face all the way home!

The Apothocoffee Shop

Last Monday when I told Robbie that it would be nice to drive to the nearby village of Earls Barton to visit the chemist he looked at me as if I was mad. After all there are plenty of chemists nearer to our home, but this chemist is rather like the costume shop in  Mr Benn, it contains secrets and transports you to different worlds. So on Monday we took a drive through the Northamptonshire countryside to Earls Barton, as I parked the car Robbie spotted Jeyes the Chemist and commented that it looked  very ordinary and very small from the outside. We walked in through a very ordinary chemist shop but after just a few steps it was clear that this was no ordinary chemist. To our right was the book department and Robbie was spellbound, there were so many interesting books to look at and the shelves and cabinets around the room were packed with keepsakes of every kind, it was like an Aladdin's cave. I thought we would be stuck there all day! Another doorway led on to a room containing china and kitchen items, Robbie was instantly drawn to a very attractive Hornby mug and a couple of mugs in beautiful boxes with designs from the Ladybird books of 1960s. 


A narrow corridor led us past a display of jigsaws and other items that caught Robbie's eye, he kept touching my arm and telling me to "look" as he pointed out his latest find. Some very steep stair led us up to a different world. The first room contained all the fun of the fair, a model funfair with working models, lights and fairground music. There was so much detail and so much to see, each time I looked I spotted something that I hadn't noticed before. Robbie loved it, he walked around the room looking closely at every detail. 


The next room was the Dolly Lodge selling everything a dolls house enthusiast could ever wish for. I didn't think Robbie would be very interested but he was fascinated, it was hard to drag him away. The next room gave a fascinating insight into village history and the lives of the people who lived and worked in the village in Victorian times. Next there was a display of chemist items from the past which I found very interesting. Every display cabinet told a different story and prompted so many memories. Then we came to a huge selection of Sylvanian Families products, my daughters used to love Sylvanian Families so lots of happy memories came flooding back. It was interesting to look at the displays and see the information they have about Sylvanians through the years.


By the time we went downstairs again Robbie was in a lot of pain and I was tired so it was time to follow our noses through the shop to the Apothocoffee Shop for a nice pot of tea (and coffee for Robbie) and hot buttered toasted teacakes. It may not take the pain away but it makes life seem a whole lot better! Robbie was very interested in the displays of preserves etc he looked longingly at a jar of real ale mustard. After a nice sit down and a snack we felt refreshed and ready to explore the rest of the shop. They had a lovely selection of cards, then there was the toy department to explore. Robbie's inner child was very much in evidence especially when he found a whole section devoted to Thomas the Tank Engine in the next room! After a last look at the books we made our purchases and left, it had been a really good experience and Robbie said that he hoped we could go there again very soon.

He Got The Call!

It has been almost a week since I last wrote the blog. Robbie and I have had time off work together and it has been really special, we have had such a good time that the blog just had to wait! So I have a bit of catching up to do...........


Saturday
I was determined that I would not let the day slip through my fingers as so often happens on a Saturday, so I set my alarm to wake me up at a reasonable hour and I made my mind up to enjoy the day to the full. The alarm went off and as soon as I popped my head out from under the covers I knew that it was distinctly chilly. I managed a brief dash to the bathroom before retreating back under the covers. It was nice to sit in bed snug and warm with my laptop while listening to the radio. There is something very special about the luxury of time and the freedom to do whatever floats your boat. In my life, time is a rare commodity so it is extra special to have days of total freedom stretching ahead of me. Robbie made good use of his time - snuggled under the covers exploring the land of nod!


After a very enjoyable morning and a lazy lunch the phone rang and Robbie's eyes lit up when he realised who was calling. It was the optician to tell him that his new glasses were ready for collection. I have never seen him move so fast, one minute he had been trotting around the house in his 'smalls' Homer style, the next he was 'fully booted and spurred' and ready to go and collect his glasses. We rarely go to town on a Saturday (I don't cope well with crowded places) but it was a very pleasant couple of hours. Robbie's choice of glasses was fairly reserved by his standards, both pairs have a little hint of the unconventional, but you have to look carefully to spot it. Once we'd collected the glasses we had time to visit the bookshop and then enjoy a visit to Costa. 

On the way home Robbie spotted a sign for a shop that sells vinyl records. The excitement was almost too much for him, it was too late to visit the shop that day but it is high on his 'to do' list for the week ahead. 

Watching Paint Dry!

It would be fair to say that Robbie and I could (and often do) argue about absolutely anything. The other day we had a fierce row about Fred Dibnah. Robbie has some very dubious interests but without doubt I find his fascination with Fred Dibnah the most difficult to deal with. Usually the mere mention of his name causes me to run for cover, and if Robbie threatens to watch his series on television I take myself off to do something more exciting like watching paint dry. This week it was so cold (and I had run out of paint!) so even the mention of dead Fred wasn't going to make me give up my seat in front of the fire. With gritted teeth I endured half an hour of excruciating boredom, I turned my back on the television and tried to focus on my computer, but it was impossible to ignore and before long by blood pressure was off the scale. 


If they ever gave a lifetime achievement award for the most inarticulate man on television he would have beaten Bill and Ben by a mile. I didn't understand a word he said in the whole programme. The trail for the programme mentioned that in this episode he would be taking his steam engine to Sheffield. I was interested because it is a place that is very dear to my heart. I lived there for a while, I love the South Yorkshire accent and I thought it would be nice to see footage of Sheffield as I remember it. Sadly the whole episode seemed to consist of old men standing around in what looked like a pub communicating in monosyllabic grunts. Worse still I don't think there was a woman in the entire episode! We would not show old programmes that are racist so why would anyone think it was ok to show something that is so blatantly sexist? I think I will have to start a 'ban Fred' campaign, his dvds should be relegated to 'under the counter sales' in shops that are frequented by men in dirty raincoats with 'unnatural appetites'


The whole Fred argument led on to another heated exchange about the gender of vehicles. It really irritates me that men refer to cars, lorries, locomotives, steam rollers etc as 'she' when it is blatantly obvious that they are male! I have explained before that my car is definitely male because it is unreliable and expensive to maintain. I only know of one man who's car has a male name, my daughter's boyfriend has a car called Bruce. I was very impressed that he had chosen such an apt name, Bruce is very loud, hard to ignore, rather unconventional and prone to the occasional bad day (apologies to anyone called Bruce but that is what the name conjures up for me). Bruce is a red Citroen Saxo with lots of adaptations. It turns out that it was my daughter who named the car not her boyfriend, so maybe it is a case of like mother like daughter!

The more things change the more they stay the same

Thursday afternoon seemed fairly ordinary when I went to work, but then at about 7pm it started to snow. At first I thought it wouldn't come to much, but it did, it settled very quickly and when I left work soon after 8pm the roads were horrible and once I got of the main roads it was a rather scary journey home. 

Robbie was not happy because the snow had ruined his plans to go to Carlisle by train on Friday. My son was not happy because according to him he had no suitable footwear to walk in ice and snow. I questioned him closely about this because I distinctly remember buying him waterproof walking boots. Apparently his not inconsiderable collection of footwear is designed to be fashionable rather than functional and with the exception of the walking boots (which are allegedly are just a figment of my imagination) none of them have sufficient grip for walking on snow and ice. I threatened to search his room for the 'imaginary' walking boots, but it was clear that he urgently needed a pair of wellies.

So today Robbie and I set out in search of black wellies for my son. He was very specific about having to have black boots so that they would match whatever he was wearing. We found boots in his size at a fairly reasonable price and we bought him thick socks as well. I felt quite pleased with myself until we got home and we realised that one boot was all rough inside. So I went out again, this time accompanied by my son, to get the boots changed. That was when the problems started, all the black boots in his size had the same problem, so my son agreed to have green ones instead. He was dressed in his 'smart casual' attire ready to go out to a sixth form party at a venue in town, so I was rather surprised when he took off his fashionable boots in the car and put on his new wellies. We went home for a while as it wasn't quite time for him to go out. He walked around in his wellies, they looked a bit odd with his smart clothes, but he kept glancing down at them and admiring them. Suddenly I was reminded of when he was a very little boy and he was so proud of his shiny new wellies that he refused to take them off! Today he kept his inner child under control, when it was time for him to go out he took a last look at his wellies and then changed into more suitable footwear.   

Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together - Vista M. Kelly

Saturday afternoon brought snow, not just a flurry that didn't last, this was the determined kind that intended to stay. I'm not fond of snow because it makes all the ordinary but essential things such as going to work and shopping for food more difficult to do. By Sunday morning our world was covered in 4 inches of white and my car was lost under a shroud of snow. It took nearly 15 minutes to clean it off and get ready to drive. It was a bit of a challenge to get off the drive (and a bigger challenge to get back on) the side roads were a bit scary, but once I got on to the main roads it was OK.


I have to admit that a covering of snow makes our world look beautiful, and other members of the family had great fun in the snow.

The future lies before you, like paths of pure white snow. Be careful how you tread it, for every step will show 

(author unknown)

Hearing is one of the body's five senses. But listening is an art. - Frank Tyger

When people ask me why I write the blog, I often tell them that if I didn't write about it I would probably kill Robbie. That is just a joke, I love Robbie very much and I would never do anything to hurt him, but there is some truth in the idea that writing about an issue is a way of processing it. I have written a blog for at least 10 years and even before that I wrote about my life in letters and diaries. Looking back it is true that at some points it was a way of helping me through the difficult times, but mostly it was a way of enjoying and preserving the special little moments of life. This little moment came from March 2004 when my son was 9


"This morning was a bit of a challenge; 'nameless son' had his usual tummy ache and was even more reluctant than usual to get ready for school. He had tried to draw my attention to his suffering and became frustrated when I hardly noticed. In the end we were treated to one of his Royal Shakespeare Company performances. He clutched his tummy, sagged at the knees and writhed around on his back like a dying wasp. After all that he went to school and survived the day with no ill effects


My Galaxy went back to the Ford garage for them to put right what they should have done in the first place. I went out early to check that it was all neat and tidy, just as well really because I found a very lifelike gun under the seat – left by a certain young spy! It could have given someone a nasty shock.

Today is unusual in that the subject of the blog is something that hurts me very much but something that seems to cause great amusement to other people. I have some hearing loss, caused by a serious ear infection called labyrinthitis which I had more than 15 years ago. It left me with some nasty symptoms including spinning vertigo and balance problems. Over the years my brain had found ways to compensate for the balance problems most of the time, but the vertigo has become part of everyday life. The balance problems are worse when I am tired or unwell. At first I didn't notice the hearing loss - but other people did! It seems to have got worse over the years and after much nagging by my family, I saw a hearing specialist at the hospital. By then I had accepted that I have a problem, but I was shocked to find that nothing can be done about it. Apparently it is due to nerve damage and it can't be helped or put right. I know that I have no right to moan, I can hear and my problems are trivial compared to many others, but it is a struggle at times. It makes it hard for me to do certain things at work and my family get very cross when I don't hear them.

The other day Robbie was talking to me as we walked along outside, he was slightly ahead of me and there was no way that I could hear him. I asked him to repeat himself and he got cross, I explained that I couldn't hear and he told me to "try harder". I was really hurt, I know he didn't really mean it, he was just cross, but it sums up the way most people respond to my hearing loss. I get teased about it, it is a bit of a joke or people just get cross when I get things wrong. I wouldn't dream of telling Robbie to try harder when he is in pain and I hope I would never laugh at or about a persons disability. So why is hearing loss funny? It really doesn't feel very amusing from my point of view.

'The problem with communication is the illusion that it has occurred.' George Bernard Shaw

Communication Problems

I rarely write about my work, partly because I don't want to cross any boundaries but mostly because it probably wouldn't make very interesting reading. I meet some really nice people in the course of my work, but sadly I meet plenty of the other kind too. I always try to be helpful but is not unusual to get shouted at and called names, you would be surprised how nasty seemingly ordinary people can be about the most trivial things. I have even had to deal with threats of physical harm. So you can imagine my confusion when an Indian gentleman approached me with a broad smile and began to remove all his outer clothing. Hat, scarf, two pairs of gloves, coat, padded waistcoat etc, etc. It wasn't an especially cold day but it seemed that he was dressed for an Arctic expedition. It is rather unusual for customers to remove their clothing, they are not usually with us long enough for that, so despite his smiles I was a little weary of his motives.


Thankfully he stopped disrobing before it became embarrassing, but then I was faced with another problem. He began talking to me and I didn't have a clue what he was saying. He repeated himself several times but I was making no progress at all. I asked him what language he was speaking (thinking I could perhaps find someone else to converse with him) but he informed me that he was speaking English! A very long 20 minutes followed with lots of smiles, nodding and waving of arms but not a lot of progress in terms of communication. He had brought out all sorts of documents from his pockets. He showed me pictures of his wife and children and he taught me how to pronounce their names. He showed me a train ticket indicating that he had been to London the weekend before and a series of mimes suggested that he had visited Madam Tussauds, Buckingham Palace and other landmarks. After 20 minutes, I knew his name and job title from a business card, I knew the names of his wife and children and I knew what he had done with his leisure time in the last week or so but I hadn't got a clue why he had come to see me! 


At that point we were joined by a second smiling Indian gentleman, also dressed for the Arctic. He possessed a few more words of recognisable English and over the next ten minutes the pair told me that they were here for two weeks for a training course, but they both lived in India. They had enjoyed their stay here very much and they wanted to find out as much as possible about our town and how different businesses worked so they had come in to have a look around. The first man had just stopped for a chat and he had showed me the pictures of his family because he missed them very much. They left still smiling and promised to come and see me again next year when they are back in England. It was rather a surreal experience, but it is something I will remember with a warm smile, it was much better than being shouted at!