“A test of a people is how it behaves toward the old." - Abraham J Heschel

It has been a very difficult few days. On Sunday lunchtime I had a frantic phone call from my step father, my mum had blacked out and fallen on the kitchen floor badly cutting head open - I have never seen so much blood! He had already called an ambulance and I dashed to their house (in a village about 6 miles away) to be with my mum. As I ran down the lane to their house I realised that there was no ambulance there and I assumed that my mum must be already on her way to hospital. When I opened the front door I realised that I was wrong, my mum was sitting on the floor propped against the kitchen units holding a blood soaked towel against her head. The kitchen floor was covered in blood and my step father (who is terminally ill) was standing there ashen faced looking totally helpless.

I did my best to make my mum comfortable and then I rushed around getting everything ready for a trip to the hospital. The ambulance control had told them to leave mum on the floor and to leave the blood as it was. We waited and waited but no ambulance came. After an hour I spoke to the ambulance control they still insisted that I should not move her and they said they would make mum a high priority and an ambulance would be there soon. I told them that I needed to clean up the blood as it was making it impossible to move around the kitchen to look after mum, and when I got off the phone I cleaned the floor. Still no ambulance came and I was very worried about my mum's condition, so I called my brother (who lives in a different county) he came with his car and between us we got mum up (she was very wobbly) put her into the car and took her to the hospital. By the time we left her house we had waited two and a half hours for an ambulance!

At the hospital her condition was taken very seriously, they said her pulse was dangerously low and she was kept on close observation in the resuscitation area. She is still in hospital, they think she may need a pacemaker, but they are still doing tests. I am disgusted that a woman who is over 80 can be left to wait so long for emergency medical care. We will be making a formal complaint, but our first priority is to look after mum.

Fox on the Run

I am lucky that I see foxes fairly frequently in the area where I live. We are in the town but there are allotments and parks close by and there have been foxes around here for as long as I can remember. I had never seen a fox near my work place until yesterday. It was daylight but as I pulled out of the car park and drove towards the road a young fox crossed in front of me. It had come from the the Starbucks drive-throu (without observing the one way signs) and when it had crossed in front of me it cut through some undergrowth. It then skirted behind a couple of my colleagues who were chatting near their cars without them even noticing it! I lost sight of it after that but it really cheered me up to see it. I know that they kill indiscriminately if they get into a hen house or the like, but I can't help thinking that they add something to our lives too.

The Sights You See When You Haven't Got Your Gun.

That was one of my grandmother's sayings. I always found it rather confusing because I knew very well that she didn't have a gun. She used the phrase when she saw something that she disapproved of, she used it often because she had turned disapproval into a performance art! Other people of her generation used it with a little more humour, to express amusement or incredulity at some of the things they encountered.

I don't go to town very often, so you can imagine my surprise when I encountered a gorilla in the centre of town! It was no ordinary gorilla, it was dressed as a boxer or a wrestler or something of the sort. On closer inspection there was something haunting about his face, it was just a bit too real for comfort. I had to ask Robbie to take a photo for me. I don't know why but it really made me smile - maybe in some way it reminded me of Robbie who knows.

As we walked around the town we came across more wildlife. There was a life size giraffe in the shopping centre and whole herd of very colourful elephants. Elmer the Elephant would have fitted in very will with this techinicolour group! There are even lions in the park - whatever is the world coming to! I am not a great fan of street entertainment etc, but these creatures made me smile and brightened my day. 

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire - William Butler Yeats

The other day I was looking back at old pieces of writing and I found a one day diary for 17th October 2006, I wrote it for a writing project that I was involved in. There was a paragraph about our chaotic morning routine

"Then my day kicked into a higher gear.  I had just five minutes to shower and vacate the bathroom.  I would love to wallow in the warm water, but time demands otherwise.  At 7am I wake my three children aged 17, 15 and 11, after a lull for a few minutes while they wake up suddenly there is chaos.  Everyone wants the bathroom at the same time, someone needs a button sewn on, daughter wants me to sign a slip for school, son can’t find an exercise book, older daughter wants money for a music book. Where have all the socks gone? Why hasn’t my rugby shirt been washed? The demands continue, son get sent back to do his teeth properly and at 7.55, only 5 minutes late, I leave with son packed into the passenger seat."

The diary went on to record the rest of the day, it seemed as if I spent my whole day rushing around trying to do my best for everyone and to somehow fit everything around my work. It still feels like that sometimes, but I think things are a little bit easier now - or at least the stresses are different! 

Camera Shy - (centre) look at those heels!

On Thursday I went to daughter number two's graduation, the 15 year old from the diary entry is now 21 and, just like her older sister she has worked very hard and done extremely well with her education. I feel very proud of both of them, not just because of their academic achievements but because they are hard workers and they have become capable and sensible young women.   I was so proud to be present at my daughter's graduation on Thursday and I wish her every success at Leicester University next year.

I Sometimes Wonder Why

He was in quite a state when I first met him. He'd had an unhappy time and he hadn't been taking care of himself, he was completely lost. He was a mess, but despite his unkempt appearance there was something about him that made me take notice of him. I didn't intend to let him move in, it just happened, one day he turned up on the door step and by the next day I had agreed that he could stay.

He was cautious at first, it took him a few weeks to adjust to family life but even then he was high maintenance. It cost a fortune to sort his teeth out, he had dodgy feet too. We spent even more to make him look respectable again, but the expense didn't stop there. He has an insatiable appetite and he will eat almost anything, he would even eat the food off my plate if he got the chance! He is not exactly good looking but what he lacks in looks he makes up for in ego. He likes attention, but only on his terms and if things don't go his way he sulks and swears and lashes out at anyone who gets in his way. He acts as if he owns me, he is a bit of a flirt, but if I dare to pay attention to anyone else he is not amused. However inapropriate,  he will position himself right next to me and stick to me like glue making it impossible to ignore him.

He often sits there looking out at the world, flirting with the ladies and swearing under his breath at any male that he sees as a threat. Occasionally he takes himself off for a few hours, who knows what he gets up to, but he always comes back when he is hungry. He has some horrible habits, he is a little too open about his bodily functions and he eats things that are only fit for the bin, but when I tell him off he takes no notice whatsoever. He really does think that he is the boss and perhaps he is right. He treats me like a servant and I let him get away with it! I seem to spend my life running around after him, buying his favourite food, clearing up after him and making sure that he is well looked after. 

Why do I do it? because I love him, he is the best cat ever!

Changed dimensions

Robbie has bought a new mug, and he spent most of Saturday evening holding out his mug for me to admire. It is a very nice mug (it should be at the price he paid for it!) but I can't get excited about a mug. On Sunday morning he sat down next to me to have a serious chat, he said he had measured the capacity of the new mug and as it takes more coffee he will require more sweeteners. He now requires two and a half sweeteners! I will not repeat my response in detail but I left him in no doubt that I have better things to do with my life than cutting sweeteners in half!!

'The Other Woman'

Last Wednesday Robbie announced on facebook that he was undertaking a very long journey just to spend some time with 'the other woman'.

"05:42 x NMP - TAM/06:39 TAM - DBY/07:13 DBY - DAR/09:30 DAR - MBR/10:38 MBR - GMT - just to spend some time with 'the other woman' lol :D"

I was anxious, not because I was jealous of his 'other woman' - I have always known that I couldn't compete with her for his attention, she is rather awesome to say the least. I was anxious because his legs and back were not so good, and I was scared that he would not cope with a long day 'playing trains'. I think he was a bit worried too, but he is determined not to let his spina bifida stop him doing 'normal' things - and what could be more normal than spending the day with the object of your affection. I was right to be anxious, but I couldn't have foreseen that he would manage to injure himself before he had even left Northampton Station! They put some (allegedly) non slip strips on the stairs to the over bridge not so long ago and they have proved very challenging for passengers, they caused me to stumble a few weeks ago. Unfortunately Robbie fell twice as he was crossing the over bridge he cut his hand badly and acquired a selection of bumps and bruises. If they don't do something about those steps there is going to be a serious accident.

Despite his 'war wounds' Robbie had a nice but very tiring day in the 'deep north' with his first love. I would usually object to him calling a train female, but Royal Scots Grey is powerful, reliable, beautiful and simply the best - so 'she' must be female! 

“If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.” Albert Einstein

I always look forward to spending weekends with Robbie. Weekdays are so hectic that we hardly see each other so weekends are very special and those rare Saturdays when we can just be lazy and take life at our own pace are extra special. Last Saturday we had been enjoying some 'us time' when Robbie said "Mrs J, there is nothing better than cuddling up an a Saturday morning and listening to Kate Adie on the radio". I told him that it may have been better to have left that little gem as an unspoken thought, but he didn't take the hint. He went on to tell me why Kirsty Wark was even better than Kate Adie, well I guess I should be grateful at least I always know what he is thinking!

A little later Robbie was contemplating his navel when he looked up and swore. I was startled and asked him what was wrong. He told e that his long held theory had been disproved then he held up a small quantity of red fluff fro his belly button. He said that he had believed that belly button fluff was always blue but this proved him wrong. I shrugged (wondering why Robbie has to waste so much tie on trivia) and said that it must depend on what colour clothes you wear. Later I noticed that he had made a facebook post on the subject, and one of his 'wicked' friends had decided to encourage his already unhealthy interest in the subject by sending him the link to a website about belly button fluff. He managed to put me off my meal by showing me pictures of jars of fluff - Ewwwww!! Just in case anyone is interested, this is the link http://www.feargod.net/fluff.html. Why can't he just be 'normal'!!