Beyond Endurance

Robbie and I are spending new year apart, I am upstairs listening to Radio 4 and Robbie is downstairs as he prefers to see in the new year with Jools Holland. He is a man by the way way, from his name I had assumed he was a woman. Robbie said he was in a band or something but I had never heard of him or his band. I did my best to endure this thing on television, one woman sang and it sounded like a cat being slowly strangled, I don't know who she was, apparently she was just called Adelle - with a voice like that I am not surprised that she wouldn't give her last name. Then there was a group of geriatrics who sang Jimmy Mac, they looked and sounded as if they had just been dug up, so I thought things could only get better. I was wrong Duffy came on next and that was truly more than flesh and blood could stand, so I voted with my feet and came up to listen to the radio. I am much happier up here on my own.

Chaos on the Coventry Corridor

This morning I decided to have a nice relaxing bath. The bathroom is about the only place in the house that I can have a few minutes peace, and even then it is not guaranteed. The bath water was lovely and warm and I lay back in the bath with my eyes closed listening to the radio and enjoying the luxury of the moment. Suddenly I became aware of a presence looming over me, he stood there hands on hips with indignation etched on his face. His lips were moving but I was getting no sound (bliss!) there was water in my ears but as I moved my head my hearing returned in time to hear the 'headline' Chaos on the Coventry Corridor. Robbie was pleased that he hadn't been at work today because there had been delays and confusion on the line. He told me in detail about each delay and the reasons for it, but I will spare you the detail. I have (mostly) enjoyed having Robbie at home and I will miss him when he goes back, but it will be nice to have a bit of peace!

Pillow Talk

When I woke this morning my mouth felt like sandpaper after yet another night of coughing. I lay there trying to send telepathic messages to Robbie that I needed a cup of tea, but he just carried on snoring. I tried more direct methods and pinched his bum, that was more effective and after several attempts he roused for just long enough to steal the whole duvet. Eventually he woke up but I still had an eternity to wait for my tea. He put his arm around me, cuddled up and embarked on a detailed monologue of the exact journey times for all the replacement buses between Northampton and Euston yesterday – scintillating! Just when I thought my ordeal was coming to an end he decided to name every station between Euston and Birmingham New Street and then he speculated on the meaning of each name! Finally nature succeeded where I had failed, he needed the loo and he plodded off to the bathroom. He returned at last with a cup of tea and when he got back in bed I made sure he kept well away from the subject of trains. He is so exhausting, I may have to send him back to work before New Year in order to get a few hours respite!

Something Close to Normal

Robbie is back in 'normal' mode – well, not normal exactly, Robbie doesn't do normal but he manages a fairly close approximation. He has been trying to make up for being a pain in the rear on Christmas morning, I have forgiven him, but he is still cross with himself. He invited me to have an early night last night, but I realised that it was just his one track mind getting the better of him when he said “just you and me and the new train DVD”. I like watching the DVD's with him, but sometimes I think trains are taking over the bedroom. The top of the wardrobes are packed with his model trains, he has piles of railway magazines on his side of the bed and his collection train DVD's is growing like a triffid. Most of his books have taken up residence in the lounge, but there are still plenty upstairs and some of them even find their way into the bed! I have to ask him not to read his books out loud when I am trying to sleep!! People told me that having a 'toy boy' would be exhausting, but I don't think this is quite what they had in mind, sometimes it would be nice to be just a bit more normal.
On the subject of 'normal' Robbie was in a fragile mood on Christmas Eve, not yet in a full blown strop, but working on it. All the family were at my mum's, just enjoying a nice family day together, but Robbie sat there reading The Grocer! What am I going to do with him?

This evening he is watching a scary film on his laptop, it is called The Strangers. It is comical to watch him, he's there with his headphones on looking terrified and making occasional terrified gasps and whimpers. At least it has given me a bit of peace for a little while.

Christmas Day - by Robbie

Well it was Xmas Day, and yet again I was being the usual mardy-arse (nothing new there I here you all say..........), so Christine got up and went down to see the children open all there presents. In hindsight I should have been there for this and felt EXTREMELY guilty afterwards, as I do not see my own children much these days, let alone be part of such an important essential Xmas activity!

As I had been such a bar humbug I had to wait until the evening to see if I had even got any presents, and to my total surprise, a stocking appeared...

Gosh Santa has been good to me yet again.........I have been commenting (more like moaning.....lol..) to Christine for a while now that I would really love a digital camera, something that is small enough to take anywhere, even to work, so what a surprise to get a rather nice Fuji 8.2 mega pixel camera....its GREAT!! Small, fast, brilliant pictures, just perfect............but this was just the start of my presents!!

As you may know from previous postings, I have collecting the 'British Transport Film Collections' since they have been released, and for Xmas I had Volume Eight 'Points and Aspects' & Volume Nine 'Just the Ticket'. They are a great collection of various films all produced by the in-house production unit of the British Transport Commission that was originally set-up in 1949. Even if you are not that mad on trains, some of them can be really enjoyable to quite a wide audience.....

The rest of my Xmas stocking contained a number of GREAT DVD's, Spooks Series 1 box set, Shameless Series 3, Branchlines of Britain (a box set of three DVD's covering all branchlines of the UK, although I have not had chance to watch this yet, this does look GREAT!!), and also a very interesting BBC DVD called 'A Picture of Britain' presented by David Dimbleby, based on the TV series. Oh and I could NOT forget the 2009 edition of Who's Who in The Archers, as I have been dropping Christine hints for a couple of years now, and finally I have a copy, although I bet I know who will be reading it more than I will............lol...........:)

The Incredible Sulk!

I have been feeling really rough, I just don't seem able to get better despite antibiotics, steroids, inhalers and various other pills and potions, I am so frustrated with it. I would have liked to postpone Christmas, but it wasn't to be. I wasn't as organised as usual and we had a number of last minute preparations in order to be ready for the big day. Robbie had a strop because he wanted to set the kitchen out slightly differently and I wouldn't let him because it just wasn't practical. Robbie is so closely in touch with his inner child that he is capable of a 'terrible two's' style strop whenever the need arises, and since I have no need of an extra child I usually just leave him to it until he manages to recapture his inner child and behave like a human being again.

Unfortunately when Christmas Day dawned Robbie was still in a strop, he had most of the bed, and the whole duvet with covers pulled over his head and his rear end sticking out. My attempts to communicate were rebuffed so I left him in bed while I went down to watch the family open their presents. I knew it was going to be one of those days when I found the treat left for me downstairs – a pile of dog sick! Meg had stolen some chocolates the day before and obviously it didn't agree with her. Not only had she chosen to target the only piece of carpet on the ground floor, but everyone else seemed to be wearing blinkers, they managed to avoid stepping in it without even seeing it. After that glorious start to the day I stank of disinfectant as I settled down to watch them open their presents, but it was still very special. I had put hours of effort into wrapping everything up, but in a matter of minutes everything was unwrapped and the lounge was a covered in wrapping paper – more cleaning up! When sanity was restored to the lounge I plodded upstairs to see if 'the incredible sulk' had become human again, but he was still talking out of the only visible part of his anatomy so I left him to it and after a bath to get rid of the disinfectant smell, I got on with the cooking.

We had my brother and my parents with us for the day and we had a lovely time. It was tiring and by the end of the day I was so fed up with listening to Guitar Hero on the Wii, but it was a very special day and there is nothing nicer than being surrounded by your family. Thankfully Robbie got his act together by lunchtime, and he joined in with the day. He had to wait until everyone had gone home to get his presents, but I think they were worth waiting for. He gave me several nice things including a signed copy of Pete Waterman's book A Train is for Life. It is nice to have the adult Robbie back!

Birthday Boy

It was Sam's 14th Birthday on Saturday. Having a birthday so close to Christmas is a bit hard on him so we always try hard to make it special for him. Of course if he had been born on time his birthday would not have been in Christmas week, he was due on 8th December – but I admit that a December birthday was a bit of bad planning on my part!
Robbie had been to a gig in London on Friday evening and it was close to 12.30am when I picked him up from the station and he was off again on a rail tour at the crack of dawn on Saturday morning. Sam was fine about Robbie going out on his birthday, in fact it suited him because Sam and I were going clothes shopping and Robbie has very fixed ideas about clothes. Sam had most of the things he had asked for, dvd's, books, converse boots, a phone and other bits and bobs. I was still feely pretty diabolical because of the combined effects of my asthma and my flu bug but Sam and I went to town and had a good time. He bought the clothes he wanted including a ridiculously expensive pair of pants, a hat that looks quite good on him and a smart coat. We also went to see Grandma and Grandad and Sam had another lovely present, a pair of Vann's trainers.
Robbie was quite late home, but we saved Sam's birthday cake until he got back, Robbie's rendition of 'Happy Birthday to You' was memorable to say the least, but the main thing was that we were all together for Sam to blow out the candles. I think Sam had a good day and Robbie certainly enjoyed his rail tour, he hasn't stopped talking about it since he got back.

Undivided Attention?

I went back to the doctors yesterday because this cough/breathing problem just will not get better. I am not impressed, I have to have a week off work and I have been given a third inhaler and steroids. Oh well, if it makes me better it will be worth it.

Do you remember Robbie's promise about me having his undivided attention until next February? It seems we have a different interpretation of 'undivided attention' because Robbie is off to a gig tonight and he will not be home until midnight and tomorrow morning he will be leaving early to go on a rail tour! He hasn't been around to help with the shopping for weeks, so I hope he will be OK with beans on toast for Christmas dinner!!!

A Near Death Experience!

I have been suffering (not exactly in silence) with a chest infection that refuses to get better, it hurts to breathe and my cough is so bad that I end up choking. I have struggled to keep up with even the simple tasks like feeding Robbie, so I was annoyed on Tuesday evening when he arrived home late and then went to bed in a huff because he didn't want what I had cooked. I left him to it and got on with my evening, but when I went to bed he had managed to occupy the entire bed and my efforts to shift him proved futile. I gave up and took up residence on the sofa with a whole duvet to myself – luxury! My cough makes it hard to sleep, but I was warm and comfortable and I must have drifted off to sleep in the end. I woke again to the gradual realisation that I couldn't breathe and it felt as if there was a crushing weight on my chest. My thoughts seemed to be in slow motion, I wondered briefly if I was dead, or perhaps it was the start of a heart attack. Finally I was sufficiently awake to work out that the cat was asleep on my chest!!

So Frustrated!

I am so frustrated!! On Friday my asthma started to get really bad, I couldn't breathe I just kept coughing and coughing until I choked, it was horrible. As the weekend went on it got worse, I can't sleep because of the coughing, and not being able to breathe is scary, it is even a struggle to talk. I don't go to the doctors very often, but after a difficult weekend it was starting to feel out of control and I was worried that it could be bronchitis, so I really needed to get it checked out. I have to take Sam to school so Robbie rang the doctor for me as soon as the appointment line opened at 8am. He was put into the queueing system and when his call was answered there were no appointments left. In the end I had to have an appointment as an emergency and even then it is with the prescribing nurse not with a doctor. It never used to be this difficult to see a doctor, we just had to ring and we got an appointment the same day, then Tony Blair imposed some targets to make the system work better and surprise surprise, it has been a disaster ever since!

So, I am sitting at home waiting to go to the doctors and wondering how to stop the cat from climbing up the Christmas tree!

Busy Going Nowhere

It didn't take long did it? Only two weeks ago Robbie promised faithfully that I would have his undivided attention at the weekends until next February, I have to admit that he stayed at home last weekend, but he was dying of (man) flu, but he is going out to play trains again tomorrow. Apparently it is his last ever chance to travel on a particular route, so he is going all the way there (where ever 'there' is) just to come back again. Oh well if he wants to abandon me in favour of his boss I expect I will cope! To be honest I am struggling with my asthma at the moment, so it will be quite a relief not to have Robbie's undivided attention for a whole day.

Simple Tastes

I am a person of fairly simple tastes, no I'm not talking about why I was attracted to Robbie – that is a mystery even to me! What I mean is that I don't want an overly complicated life, I use my mobile phone to make calls and send texts, I don't need it to play music, take photos or access the internet. With my house phone I just want it to make and receive calls, nothing complicated, so when I had to buy a new phone I just bought a simple one with two handsets. Robbie set it up while I was working, it looked fairly nice – until it rang! I couldn't live with that, it played a very tinny version of the William Tell Overture, it was like an angry child demanding attention NOW. I told Robbie that I just wanted it to ring and I honestly didn't believe him, so he ran through the options. The Minute Waltz was equally annoying, there was another tune that sounded like a dalek on speed, yet another sounded like a car alarm and the final couple of options were unspeakable. There was no simple ringing sound so I have to put up with the least annoying of the options for now, but I want a phone with a proper old fashioned ring.

A Legacy of Happy Memories

On Tuesday my radio alarm clock clicked on and I was roused from my slumbers by the Radio 4 Today program. I lay there only half listening while enjoying the last few minutes of comfort before getting up. Suddenly the radio commanded my full attention, because the voice of my childhood is gone Oliver Postgate has died. I have written before about the important part he played in my childhood memories and I was sad to hear that he had died. I first came across him (or rather his voice) when I was a very young child, Pogles Wood was my favourite Watch with Mother program and the voice and imagination of Oliver Postgate brought a unique magic to the series. As time went on I grew to love his other work, the Clangers, Ivor the Engine and my special favourite Noggin the Nog. When my own children came along I was delighted to find that they also enjoyed the work of Oliver Postgate in Bagpuss. His work had a very special quality and for my family as well as so many others, the sound of his voice evokes very happy memories.

A Difficult Night

I went to bed before Robbie on Sunday evening, I was totally exhausted - by him and his illness. He arrived in bed a bit later, I have a vague memory of it because he trod on me as he got into bed, but I must have been very sleepy because I don't remember anything else until I woke with a start because there was apparently a block of ice in the bed next to me. I cautiously prodded Robbie, he was freezing even his usually radiant rear was ice cold, it made me worry that he was right after all and he really could die of a cold. A couple of hours later I woke again to find that I was unbelievably hot, Robbie was still asleep but was now too hot to handle. I gave up and decided to lay on top of the duvet to cool down. Later on I woke again because there was an eerie moaning like Marley's Ghost without the chains, I lay very still and listened - it was Robbie! He was moaning in his sleep! I hope he soon gets better because I can't cope with much more of this.

Feeling Like Death Warmed Up!

It's official Robbie is ill! I just want to make sure that everyone knows that, because every time he has spoken to me today he has informed me that he is 'not very well' and then he has gone on to accuse me of not caring. Of course I care, I know how rough he is feeling because I have had the cold/flu or whatever it is for a week and I still feel rough. He has an evil sore throat, a high temperature, a heavy cold, a nasty cough and he feels like death warmed up. I am not unsympathetic, but honestly we need to get a sense of proportion about this! I went out and bought him two giant boxes of tissues, some maximum strength cold relief tablets and some stuff to stick up his nose to help him breathe. He is sitting in the corner sniffing and sighing surrounded by a mountain of tissues looking like misery personified. I hope he gets better quickly because I'm not sure how long I can cope with this!

This morning Robbie listened to The Archers while I tried to get on with my writing work. Despite his sore throat he couldn't be quiet and he fired a series of questions at me about storylines in the Archers. I answered each question and tried to get on with what I was doing, but then he began to ask about another character and we had a slightly confusing conversation for a few minutes. Suddenly I realised that he now talking about a family member who by coincidence shares a name with the character I thought he was talking about. I moaned at him for not giving me any clue that he had leapt from one subject to another, but he just grinned and said 'they don't call me Random Robbie for nothing'.

Serious Grovelling

Robbie must have very sore knees because he had to do some serious grovelling after last night. Friday is the only weekday evening that we can spend together and it is nice for me to just sit down and enjoy the evening wit Robbie. Well that is the theory, on the rare weekends when he doesn't go away to play trains he always manages to work late! Yesterday was no exception, I went to the trouble of making him a chicken casserole with mashed potato but when I phoned to see where he was he was (allegedly) stranded in a pub in the north with his friends – dinner in the dog yet again! He got back to Northampton at 11pm, I picked it up from the station but it was a chilly ride home in more than one sense. It took me until this afternoon to forgive him, well, he is almost forgiven, but I do expect him to be a bit more thoughtful. He is now suffering with my cold, he is doing an Oscar winning portrayal of a 'dying duck' and he is annoyed with me for being unsympathetic, poor Robbie it's such a hard life!

Sleeping Beauty

Robbie didn't spend a second night on the sofa, but he almost did! The dispute about knickers had been resolved long before bed time, but he has got into the habit of sprawling on the sofa and 'resting his eyes' of course this means that he is snoring within seconds and it is very hard to wake him up. I kept telling him to go to bed but he just got more and more stroppy until fell out with me and I decided that he could stay there. I made one more attempt to wake him and gave up, it was like trying to reason with a drunk. I took myself off to bed and I was surprised to find that Robbie plodded up to bed a few minutes later. He got into bed, then out again, then returned and climbed back into bed and stole the covers. When I say climbed I mean climbed, he trod on me three times! Next time I will leave him on the sofa, at least that way I can be sure of keeping the duvet

A Night on the Sofa

Robbie went out for the meal with his train buddies and even with my heavy cold I could tell that he came home stinking. I told him that if he wanted to come to bed he would need to wear a gas mask, but it turned out that he never got that far, he decided to watch some horrible noisy music on television and he fell asleep on the sofa, I went down to wake him a couple of times but he never made it to bed. This morning he was in a bad mood and probably in pain after his night on the sofa. He managed to fall out with me because according to him he had no clean pants, he had of course but they were not the ones he wanted. Most people wear 'thinking caps' but it appears that Robbie wears 'thinking pants' because he told me that he couldn't think properly in the grey ones he is wearing today – the mind boggles!

Having already fallen out with me about his knickers, he then launched into a tirade of criticism because he was almost out of deodorant and I hadn't replaced it. Oddly enough I don't have a crystal ball and even if I did I would find something more interesting to focus on than the state of Robbie's armpits! If he doesn't tell me I am not likely to know that he needs more, anyway if he can find time to go on all his outings I don't see why he can't manage to buy his own toiletries! As always when in a hole Robbie started to dig furiously, he said far more than is good for his health and now he is contemplating a second night on the sofa.

Suspicious Behaviour

When I got home yesterday evening I thought Robbie must have been abducted by aliens and a complete stranger left in his place. Not only was he watching Pride and Prejudice, he was obviously enjoying it. That may not sound very strange, but Robbie doesn't usually bother with things like that, after all there are no trains in Pride and Prejudice! There was other uncharacteristic behaviour too, he was so attentive that I became suspicious and asked him what he had done wrong. It was at that point that the old Robbie became evident again, he began to talk about one of his favourite subjects – food! He told me yet again about the lovely breakfast he had on Sunday, then he began to tell me about all the people he was with, it made my head hurt. I wasn't sure if he was outlining a sub plot from EastEnders or even detailing a school reading scheme, each generation of family members seemed to begin with the same letter – could this be a real life version of Janet and John? It was all too much for me and I plodded off to bed.

This morning it didn't take long to get into my bad books. I woke him up on time but apparently he fell asleep downstairs and he ended up running late, he then moaned at me for making him late. Just before he left he announced that he was going out for a meal tonight, he claimed I knew that but I didn't, he mentioned a while ago that he was going out with some people from his train but he didn't say when. I think it is really weird, why would you want to go out with people that you travel on the same train with? The only thing they have in common is shared suffering and a deep dislike of Network Rail. Oh well, I expect he will do as he likes, but if he eats anything smelly he can sleep on the sofa!

Talking to the Wall!

Robbie is still talking about the lovely breakfast he had on Sunday. If he thinks I am going to spoil him like that he can think again – but if he wants to cook for me I wouldn't object! He said that the people he was with couldn't understand what he was saying, it doesn't surprise me, my mum still struggles to know what he is saying. Everyone thinks it's funny because Robbie talks enthusiasticly and very fast, after about two paragraphs worth my mum will look at me and ask what he said - I can usually sum the whole lot up in one sentence!

I wish Robbie would accept that he is not superman, I have written about it before but he really has to recognise his limits preferably before he falls over. When he got home on Sunday he'd obviously had a great time on the rail tour but he was struggling to walk and he had a lot of pain in his legs. The said that his legs felt as if they didn't belong to him, I can't imagine them belonging to anyone else, they are like him – unique, but if he wants them to keep working he needs to treat them with a little more respect and at least rest them for an hour or two on a long journey like that. I tried to tell him that but I may as well talk to the wall!!

He is off to the North today, to York I think, needless to say it involved an early start and I expect he will be late home too. By the time I get to see him in the evening he is so tired that he nods of mid sentence, but at least I can look forward to the weekend, I may be able to have a whole conversation with him!

Train to the North and Back Again

I have got another horrible cold and my breathing really hurts. On Saturday morning I woke up feeling sorry for myself after a very bad night. Robbie was away 'plating trains' so I rang him to remind him that I want to be cremated not buried! The they had made a very early start and rail tour was well under way heading toward Blackpool, Robbie was concerned that I felt rotten and he offered to come home. I gratefully accepted his offer and he was left stuttering and spluttering trying to think of a convincing reason why he couldn't come home. I didn't really expect him to come home, but I couldn't resist making him squirm. I dosed myself up and got on with my jobs which included taking Sam to his friend's party and doing some food shopping. The party was at a go carting circuit which must be run by the secret services because it is so badly signposted that we couldn't find it and everybody was half an hour late.

I spoke to Robbie later on Saturday evening and he assured me that he would get home as quickly as he could in the morning because he was worried about me. Sunday morning dawned and by 10am I still had not heard from him so I rang him, he said he had just woken up and he was sitting up in bed enjoying a cup of coffee. He told me that he would be on his way home after breakfast. By 3pm I was starting to wonder when he would be back, I rang again and he said he had just finished his breakfast and was having a coffee – he hadn't even started his journey! He finally got home at about 7pm and he was still talking about his wonderful breakfast – what is it about Robbie that makes everyone want to feed him? On the way back from the station we needed to stop for fuel, it had been raining and when stopped the car the wipers were not straight, Robbie protested loudly, he couldn't possibly refuel a car with wonky wipers! He sat there arms folded demanding that I should straighten the wipers, I didn't and he muttered and moaned all through the refuling and payment process.

Help it's chasing me!

On Saturday evening I had been running around doing the shopping and giving lifts to the children so when we got home we hurriedly put most of the shopping away and we left the last few bits while we ate our meal. Suddenly there was a clatter in the kitchen then the door burst open and in rushed Dave (the cat) closely pursued by a carrier bag. He did three circuits of the house before dashing into Emily's room for sanctuary, the bag caught on the door and Dave hid under the bed. He must have been investigating the last few bits of shopping when the handle of the carrier bag got stuck around his waist (well, I mean the middle bit that would be his waist if he had one). Hopefully it will teach him not to scavenge, but after living as a stray for so long I don't think we will ever stop him trying to steal food. The only thing in the bag was a refill box of sweeteners so it survived the srint around the house undamaged, after all even even Dave couldn't eat 500 sweeteners – but he would probably have given it a try if he hadn't been chased by the bag!