"We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails."

Well, it is almost New Year again and very soon I will be heading for refuge in the bedroom, because I can't face almost two hours of Jools Holland (two minutes would be too much for me!). Robbie loves Hootenanny, so I leave him in peace to enjoy it while I enjoy an early night.

At this time of year it is traditional to make New Year Resolutions about things that we intend to change in our lives but usually I don't bother with such things. This year is different, this year I finally reached the point of saying enough is enough and standing up to a bully. For 27 years I have tolerated her insults, lies, criticism, and abuse I have finally given up. I tried my best but it was never good enough, I even made excuses for her behaviour, I thought that if I turned the other cheek and did my best to please her she would change. I was wrong of course I should have stood up to her years ago because she saw my kindness and my willingness to forgive as weakness, I was rewarding her bad behaviour. It is bad enough that she thought it was okay to treat me badly in so many different ways, but a few weeks ago she crossed a line and this time I will not forgive her, I will not let her hurt me and cast a shadow over my family any more. I felt sorry for her because had lost so much already, but, now she has lost everything. 

I hope she will live to regret her behaviour, but somehow I doubt it because she is just a bitter and twisted bully. I don't have room to hate her, I don't feel anything at all for her now except relief that I don't have to waste any more time on her. She has caused untold hurt to so many people but in the end she is the looser, she has alienated everyone and she faces a lonely and bitter future. As far as I am concerned she has been left firmly in the past and I look forward to the New Year thankful that I have the love and support of my family and friends

No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow. ~ Euripides

I'm not a great fan of new year celebrations, perhaps it is because I'm teetotal, or it could be because Robbie makes me endure New Years Eve with Jools Holland, but I think it is mostly because there is a certain sadness in leaving the past behind and looking forward to what the new year may hold. It is a time when we are reminded of those who will not be with us as we look ahead to 2013. Among them are actors and celebrities who brought us pleasure over the years, we may not know them personally but still we feel their loss and miss them. 

I was sorry to hear that Jack Klugman one of my favourite actors died on Christmas Eve and his death reminded me that when trying to explain to a friend that I am a bit out of touch when it comes to films and actors my son said "everyone that my mum likes is dead" and I have to admit that it is starting to feel like that. This year  we said farewell to Clive Dunn, Eric Sykes, Robin Gibb, Bob Holness, Whitney Houston, Davy Jones, Neil Armstrong, Larry Hagman and a number of others. It is sad to say goodbye, but I am grateful for the memories.

Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn't come from a store - Dr Seuss

Well Christmas came and went and if I'd blinked I think I would have missed it. It seems as if it passed in a blur of activity, I was so busy at work prior to Christmas and Robbie was away a lot because he also had a very busy period work wise; it was busy at home too because I had lots to do to get ready for my son's 18th birthday on 20th December so it was a challenge to get ready for Christmas at the same time. It all worked out well in the end, somehow everything got done in time, my son had a lovely birthday and we enjoyed spending time with our family over Christmas. I would have been happier if I didn't have to work on Christmas Eve and on Boxing Day, but that's the way it works out sometimes.

Robbie had lots of nice presents including a couple of new additions to his weird and wacky collection of cufflinks, boxed sets of the first three series of Ice Road Truckers, an assortment of railway books (including a very nice book of then and now railway maps) and several items to add to his Lego collection including a Lego train set with a Lego station. Unfortunately he wasn't very well on Christmas Day so his inner child was more subdued than usual - but he made up for it in the next few days!

I had lots of lovely presents too. I had perfume, a David Attenborough dvd (he is one of my all time heroes) and a dvd set that I have wanted for years, The Victorian Kitchen, Victorian Kitchen Garden and Victorian Flower Garden (one of my all time television favourites). I also had a five year question and answer  journal, it poses a question every day but the answer may differ from year to year. Robbie bought me a very thoughtful and generous present, and I was very pleased with it, but I had ethical objections to the brand. I really didn't want to tell him, but he worked it out and he was very understanding about it. After Christmas he took it back so that I could buy from a different (better) company. He wasn't brave enough to tell the Apple Store why he was returning it, but I guess if it is that important I can write and tell them why they lost the sale. I haven't quite decided what I am going to buy yet, I don't want to make my mind up too quickly because I am really enjoying 'window shopping'.

A new version of the Cossack Dance

I have written before about Robbie's tendency to 'dance' with fury when I irritate him. When he is cross with me and he tries to express his opinion he does this strange thing where he puts his hands on his hips and keeps bending his knees. Then as he warms to his theme he starts flapping his arms and then thrusting one arm forward to emphasise his argument. I sometimes struggle not to laugh because if it was speeded up a bit it really would look like a Cossack dance. I wrote about it way back in 2007 after a particularly frustrating morning with Robbie.

"Now to explain this morning's upset. We got up in good time and Robbie had as long as he needed in the bathroom, so things were going well. Considering they only have fractionally more to wash than women, I can't understand why men need to take so long in the bathroom!

The trouble started when we got to the station, Robbie went to get the parking ticket. I realised that he had brought his rucksack, I attempted to lift it and found that it contained a hundredweight of work documents as well as, diary, ipod, magazines, snacks and all the 'essentials' to deal with any conceivable railway emergency! Samuel has an unhealthy attachment to his rucksack too, he hates to be parted from it, but he has Asperger's Syndrome, Robbie is allegedly normal!

I took his ipod, pager and sweets out of his rucksack and put them in my handbag. When he returned I refused to let him take his rucksack. He would look ridiculous with a suit and a rucksack, I didn't want him to look like a Sherpa! Robbie went mad and had a full scale tantrum in the car park. I won the first round and he thundered off with what I can only describe as a cross between a stomp and a shuffle - if it had been speeded up it would have looked like a Cossack dance!  He was impossible and he continued the argument on the train, I was tempted to tip my hot chocolate over him, but it was too expensive to waste. It took him until almost lunchtime to recover his temper - so much for Valentine's Day!"

Last night I woke at about 3am when Robbie shouted out and then leapt out of bed. I am not at my best at 3am and it took me a while to become fully awake and make sense of what was happening in the bedroom. The first thing that I became aware of was torrent of swear words fired through the darkness like a volley of gunfire. As my eyes got used to the darkness I saw the silhouette of Robbie over by the bedroom door. As well as the copious swearing he appeared to be going through a series of jerky movements. I hadn't been too surprised by the swearing, after all this is a man who frequently talks to his socks and underwear in the middle of the night (he always has to put his clothes for the next day in the dark because he waits until I have gone to bed - and he always wakes me up!). I gradually interpreted the jerky movements, he was bending forwards and sticking one leg out as if he was pushing his heel into the floor, it looked like a robot doing a Cossack dance, but it was cramp and Robbie was in agony!

I felt so useless because nothing that I could say or do would help. He often gets cramp at night, but I think the pain was more severe last night. It is scary to see him in so much pain                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

Red and Green Should Never be Seen

Setting up Robbie's new company has involved a lot of hard work but at last all the essential things have been dealt with and we can focus on some of the tasks that we had been putting off until we had time. One of those jobs was to choose a suitable office chair for Robbie, so one day last week I rang Verve Workspace for advice about the best choice of chair. They offer a wide range of chairs (as well as a diverse range of other quality office furniture) and they suggested that we should pop into their office so that Robbie could try some of the chairs. It sounds simple enough, but with Robbie nothing is simple!

When we got to their office Robbie was very impressed by the quirky design features. He hardly had a chance to react to the life sized sheep in the reception area, before he spotted an old red phone box set into the wall. Steve Allen, the owner of the company showed Robbie around. The phone box opened to reveal a walk in cupboard, then Steve showed him the kitchen, it has a map of London printed on the floor covering and it looks amazing. Robbie loved the boardroom which has a very bright  spacious feel, one wall is painted with a special paint so that you can write on it as if it is a white board. Everywhere he looked there was something else to admire, so it was very hard to get him to focus on chairs but eventually he tried out a selection of chairs and he chose one that would give him plenty of support for his back.

He was very happy with his choice and I thought that the hard part was over - but I was wrong, he still had to choose the colour and fabric for the chair. He was given a chart with colour and fabric samples, he had a whole rainbow of colours to choose from, but being Robbie he chose the loudest, brightest red. He had got that determined look in his eye, but this was one of those occasions rare occasions when I was even more determined that Robbie wasn't going to get his own way. I can't live with a red chair, it would be like a permanent party political broadcast! Tense negotiations followed and Robbie drove a hard bargain, when it was clear that my veto on the red chair would not we lifted he insisted having his chair in a bright 'leprechaun' green instead. Unfortunately they don't make covers for office chairs, but I think it will be covered in a dust sheet when not in use because I am not a fan of green.

So now we are awaiting delivery of the chair and a large 'industrial strength' bookcase to replace the one that has collapsed under the weight of the Burgess book collection. It will be lovely to have things looking more organised.

There is more information about the Verve Workspace Offices on their blog

Ready to meet my maker?

I expect people will be wondering why there have been no blog posts for a couple of weeks. I have been ill and I just haven't had the stamina to do much more than deal with the daily essentials. The killer cough has continued with no sign of improvement and then about ten days ago the nagging pain under my right arm in the side and back of my chest got a lot worse and I decided that it was time to take myself back to the doctor, because I just couldn't cope. So on the Friday morning I found myself sitting in the waiting room trying my hardest not to cough and hoping that the doctor would understand just how bad I was feeling.

After about five minutes a woman (aged about 70) came into the waiting room and parked herself next to me, we exchanged smiles, I wasn't really in the mood for small talk but the woman had other ideas. She was the sort of person that my mum would describe as 'vaccinated with a gramophone needle' she lacked an 'off button' and she chatted happily without stopping for breath. Within minutes I she had told me about he career as a nurse, her (now ex) husband's insatiable sexual appetite, his misbehaviour with an implausibly large number of women and his even more implausible excuses. She paused for breath and I was just wondering how I could possibly respond without encouraging further conversation when she turned to me and asked if I was ready to meet my maker. I opened my mouth to respond but she didn't give me a chance, she went on to warn me about the evils of America and the signs that suggest to her that the end of the world and the second coming will happen sooner than people expect. She said that she goes to church every day to make sure that she will be ready when the time comes and she warned me to ensure that I didn't not spend eternity in a cold grave. This was my chance to get a word in, I said that I intend to be cremated when the times comes, so I don't anticipate any problems with feeling cold! I knew instantly that I should have stayed quiet, the woman took a huge breath and opened her mouth to respond, but at that moment the doctor opened her door and called my name so I was able to escape.

The doctor said that my chest was clear but because I'd been struggling with the cough for 9 weeks she put me on steroids and a course of antibiotics and sent me for a chest x-ray. So after queueing at the chemist I took myself to the hospital to have an x-ray. Thankfully the other people in the waiting room were not very talkative and after sitting quietly for five minutes I was called in for my x-ray. It was all over very quickly and I could head home and curl up in the chair for a little while. 
The 7 day course of steroids and antibiotics helped a little bit, but the symptoms got worse again as soon as I stopped taking the tablets. The pain under my arm on the right side of my chest has been steadily getting worse too so I when I went back to the doctor  I was desperate for some answers. My x-ray had revealed a rather confusing picture, there was a shadow or something hard to identify on my right lung and something is pushing or pulling my diaphragm up which in turn is restricting the capacity of my right lung. So I am now awaiting an appointment with a consultant to try to work out what is going on and it looks as if I am going to have to put up with this cough for a few more weeks at least.    

Pushing the Boundaries of Time

Well, last week was quite a week! Robbie announced his new venture to the world and after spending a couple of days earlier in the week 'getting all his ducks in a row' concerning the admin side of his company he is now hard at work. It was nice having him at home for a week or two, but it is good to get back to something like a normal routine.

Unfortunately 'normal' involves some very early starts. Getting up at 4.30am on a dark and dismal October morning is a bit of an effort, but once I'm up I'm okay. Getting up is the easy bit, getting Robbie out and to the station on time is more of a challenge. He always plans well and has everything prepared the night before, but in the morning there is always a frantic few minutes with Robbie trotting around on 'fast forward' dressed only in socks in the style of Benny Hill. Then having tested my stress levels almost beyond endurance he is suited and booted and ready to go.
   
It is one of those unfathomable things about men is that they consistently over estimate length except when it comes to journey comes to journey times - then they think they can achieve the impossible! Robbie seems to forget that I drive a Ford Galaxy not a time machine. He is so precise when it comes to train planning, so why can't he cope with allowing enough time for a car journey. His habit of providing time checks during the journey does nothing to ease my stress levels, I don't know why he does it but it doesn't get him there any quicker!

Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can fly

Oh dear, the air turned blue this afternoon! A bird decided to wish Robbie good luck from a great height - and it scored a direct hit. Thankfully he wasn't wearing a suit but he was wearing a new top and to say that he wasn't amused would be an understatement. He was more than usually eloquent, well maybe not eloquent but certainly verbal. He lapsed into alliteration on a theme of 'B'; he has been practicing practicing on the cats so he is fairly good at it now and he produced a string of expressive but not exactly original 'B' words. I don't know what type of bird it was, but judging by the mess it created it certainly wasn't a sparrow!

Anyway, back to more important matters, Robbie made his announcement on facebook today, so I am now free to reveal his new ventue

Burgess Rail Solutions Ltd

Raising a Glass

Robbie bought me the most amazing present today, it didn't cost a fortune but it put a huge smile on my face. I could hardly believe my eyes when I picked him up this evening and he presented me with a 2 litre bottle of my favourite brand of Root Beer. In terms of calories there is probably a whole month of wickedness packed into this bottle but I don't care, I love Root Beer and I feel like celebrating (I don't drink alcohol so celebrating with Root Beer suits me very well). The other good thing about Root Beer is that no one else in the family likes it so I don't have to share! Robbie is happy too because I reminded him that he still has a few bottles of Uncle Stuart's real ale stashed away, we bought them from Wroxham Barns in August while we were on holiday when today was little more than a dream. Back then it felt like a very big step to contemplate walking away from a job that he had loved and a company that meant so much to him, but deep down I think we knew that the time was right to move on. 

So much has happened since then; Robbie has said a fond farewell to his friends at Cross Country, closed the door on that chapter of his life and finally after lots of hard work and mountains of red tape the new chapter of his working life has finally begun. I think it will surprise a few people, in fact I think it will surprise a lot of people because there have been quite a few rumours about what Robbie will do next and none of them were right! I am very pleased about the way things have worked out, but it is not my news to share (and I never write in detail about work on the blog) so if you want the details you will have to ask Robbie.

It Wasn't Me!

Well this must be the longest gap in writing since I started writing the blog. Partly it is because I have been involved with an interesting little project which I should be able to write more about in a day or two. Mostly it is because I have been feeling absolutely dire for weeks. It sounds so pathetic to be moaning about having a cough, but this really is a hell of a cough. I have had it for at least four weeks this time and I only had a gap of about four weeks free of the previous cough which lasted for twelve weeks. The doctor says that my lungs are clear the problem seems to be higher up, but we are still investigating the exact cause. It always seems to happen when I get a cold and then I just can't get rid of it. Maybe I have to accept it as a very annoying symptom of my asthma, but to cough to the point of passing out or actually making yourself sick from coughing tends to limit your social life as well as scaring people who witness it. Anyway that is quite enough moaning for today, in fact I have probably used up a whole months ration of moans!

Robbie has been at home for three weeks or so and it has been frustrating that we haven't been able to enjoy doing more things together, but coping with the 'killer cough' and the fact that I still had to go to work got in the way of Robbie's plans. It is a bit of an exaggeration to say that he has been at home, Robbie gets withdrawal symptoms after one day without trains and I start to feel exhausted after a couple of days with Robbie, so when he asks for a lift to the station I am always ready to oblige! He has spent a lot of time on trains in the last few weeks and lots of numbers / routes have been ticked off in his little book!

This is his last week of freedom and he intends to make the most of it. On Sunday he had an HST day travelling to the South West and back. I love the sea wall, but I don't love HSTs so I decided that I would be happier at home. That turned out to be an inspired decision because when Robbie got on the train he discovered that one of the cats had vandalised his best Sennheiser headphones. When exasperated with the cats he always resorts to alliteration, when Oreo upsets him he is a 'furry, blank, fatherless, feline; but this time Bernard was under suspicion so we had a rant on the theme of 'B'.  

He managed a whole day without trains yesterday but he will be heading off on a train later today and he will probably fit several in several more trips during the week. On Friday we are going to York then at the weekend Robbie is off to a special event at the Bodmin and Wenford Railway. 

Probably Not the Next Samuel Pepys

I had to write a one day diary for a local history project that I am involved with so I thought that I would share it on the blog too.

Saturday 22nd September 2012

I really must be mad! The insistant bleeping of the alarm clock woke me at 4.30am, I reached out to turn it off and then remembered that I had moved it out of reach the night before to make absolutely sure that I woke up. I sat up and reached down to silence the alarm clock, Robbie was still sleeping soundly so I gave him a prod and told him that it was 4.30am and if he wanted to catch his train he needed to get moving right now, then I dashed off to beat him to the bathroom. When I got back to the bedroom he plodded off to get ready while I sneaked back under the covers for ten minutes, after all 'normal people' would still be fast asleep. The next thing I knew it was almost 5am and he was back in the bedroom showered and almost ready to go. It is surprising how fast you can get ready when you really have to. 

When I got downstairs he was just packing his lunch into his rucksack and by the time he got outside I had already started the car and we were all ready to go. The car knows the way to the railway station, we do that journey so often. On weekdays we are usually up at 5am so that he can catch his train to Birmingham just after 6am, so I look forward to a more leisurely start to the day on Saturdays and Sundays. Unfortunately the lure of the railway gets the better of him and he just can't keep away. Today he is going to the Deltic Gathering at the East Lancashire Railway, he is absolutely passionate about Deltics, especially his favourite Royal Scots Grey. I would have gone with him because I like Deltics too, but I have a terrible cough at the moment, it is exhausting and I haven't been sleeping very well, so I just don't have the stamina to cope with a long day on the railways at the moment.

He waved as he slammed the car door and walked towards the station. I felt a sense of relief, I had fulfilled my promise and got him there on time, now the rest of the day was my own and if I wanted to I could go back to bed. I clicked the radio on, radio 4 is the soundtrack to my life, I always have the radio on at home or in the car. I only half listened to the discussion about TB in cattle and the pros and cons of culling badgers to limit the spread of bovine TB, as I drove up the hill away from the railway station. I was thinking that my ancestors were closely linked with this part of the town. My great grandfather was orphened when very young, he grew up in the work house, but he when he was sent to be an appentice to a cordwainer in Leicester Street, he found a trade and a family and he spent the rest of his life in Leicester Street. His daughter my great grandmother grew up there, had her first home as a married woman in the next street and she brought her large family up just a couple of streets away. The area as they knew it is now long gone, but there is still one landmark that they would recognise, the spire of Seps Church still points heavenward, the clock still measures the relentless march of time in hours and minutes. The church which for centuries has witnessed the joys and sorrows of the people, stands strong and defiant amid the 'here today gone tomorrow' buildings of our modern town, reminding us of lasting values that are too easily forgotten amid the demands of modern life.

When I got home I put the kettle on for a much needed cup of tea and while I waited for it to boil I sorted the laundry into piles and put on the first load of the day. I was too awake to go back to bed and sleep, but I felt bruised and exhausted from all the coughing so I took my cup of tea and my laptop up to bed. I may not sleep but at least I could sit quietly with the radio and my laptop to occupy me. I enjoyed a couple of hours catching up with email and facebook and I began to write my diary entry for today. I must have fallen asleep at some point because it was mid morning when I woke up. I enjoyed a long relaxing bath while listening to Radio 4, a shower is fine most of the time, but there is something special about a nice hot bath. I wish this cough would get better, it is so exhausting.

It is unusual to be at home on my own, but today was very quiet, my son stayed at his friend's house last night, my older daughter had gone to Milton Keynes with her boyfriend and my younger daughter was shut in her room writing up notes in preparation for her post graduate course at Leicester University which begins on Monday. I like my own company and I never struggle to fill my time. There was a whole list of jobs demanding my attention today, but I only did the laundry and the routine tasks, I decided that the peace and quiet was too precious to waste, the other jobs can wait until I feel better.

The only problem with doing nothing is that you have too much time to think and this was one of those days that provided a lot to think about. Nine years ago today I sat with my first husband Eric in the Three Shires Hospital as the last hours of his life slipped away; then I went home and told my children that their dad was dead. Life goes on but those memories don't  fade, it is not something that you forget despite the passage of time, the details of that day are imprinted on my mind. I found myself wondering how he would feel about the way our lives have changed. I hope that I have done a good enough job as a parent, it hasn't always been easy. Eric didn't want me to be on my own if the worst should happen, but it must be hard at times for Robbie, living with a ghost. Perhaps it helps that they are very different. 

My son came home and my daughter emerged from her room, she had finished her work and was ready to fulfill her promise to paint my nails with crackle nail varnish, silver base with black crackle on top. It looked very nice. I hardly ever wear nail varnish, but it is nice to spoil myself once in a while and it is lovely to share moments like this with my daughter.

Time went on, we ate early because my daughter was going out later. My daughter went to get ready and I left my son to feed the cats while I drove to the station to pick my Robbie up. On the way back we popped into Morrisons for a printer cartridge and one or two essentials. I was glad to get home, but I had to go straight out again because my daughter wanted a lift into town. She looked amazing. We picked her friend up on the way and I dropped them both off at The Goose. By the time I got home again Robbie had a cup of tea waiting for me and I chatted to him about his day for a little while, he'd had a lovely time. 

Later on Robbie wanted to watch a film, it wasn't really my sort of thing so I decided to head up to bed with my laptop to listen to Radio 4 Extra and catch up with my friends on facebook. The cough was impossible, I couldn't stop coughing and I couldn't get my breath, it was a very frightening feeling, I was exhausted but I knew that I had another sleepless night ahead of me. Thank goodness for the internet and friends who stay up late and are happy to chat at 2am. How different from my childhood when my mum considered it very bad manners to make a telephone call after 9pm. 

Moving On

There has been a long silence on the blog, over a week of saying nothing I wasn't able to talk about something that was happening, hence the reason for my silence but at last I can speak again. Robbie made the difficult decision that after almost fifteen years it was time to leave the company that he works for and set his sights on pastures new. It has been a very big decision and it has occupied our thoughts for months, but it was very important to do things properly and I couldn't mention it on the blog until everything was agreed with his employer and his departure had been announced. He is still technically with the company for a few weeks longer, but he is now using up leave, his last working day was last Friday.

In the weeks leading up to his departure there were several important jobs to be done including emptying his cupboard and his desk. It sounds simple enough doesn't it, but this is Robbie that we are talking about! It took a huge amount of effort but thanks to the effort of two wonderful 'helpers' his cupboard was emptied - it is just as well that my Ford Galaxy has the rear seats removed because the contents of his cupboard filled the car. I thought that was the end of it but more bags and boxes followed as he emptied his desk - even a tardis couldn't hold that much 'stuff' so we now have a a lifetime of timetables that were taking up house room. It seems that he has several copies of every leaflet ever published by a train company, he also has the largest mug collection known to man and other sundry 'junk' that will fill at least 20 archive boxes!! By junk I mean old tickets, reservation slips and assorted stuff that 'normal' people would throw away. I have tried to be understanding but it is difficult, I feel as if I am drowning in clutter. I am ashamed to admit that you can't actually see our garage any more, the utility room has become a store room and all things railway related have invaded the bedroom!! Just occasionally I crave a a bit of 'normality'. When I told Robbie how I felt he told me that in 100 years time it will be an important historical archive. I wasn't as reassured by that as he expected, after all in 100 years (or even 50 years) I will not be around.

“One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing.” – Socrates.

Being the parent of a teenager certainly keeps you 'real'. There was a time in my 20s and 30s when I thought  that I was reasonably intelligent with a fairly wide general knowledge. There was a time when my children were little that they looked up to me and trusted me to answer all their questions, but now they treat me as if I know nothing. My son is always keen to share his 'vast knowledge of life' accumulated over 17 years! To be fair he does have a wide general knowledge, but like most young people he only sees things in black and white, he will need to notch up a few more years before he starts to see shades of grey and then he will gradually realise how much he doesn't know. Until then he is content to tease me abort my astounding ignorance. I am not very good at sitting still and I have never been terribly interested in films and television and with one or two notable exceptions I have no interest whatsoever in sport so it is hardly surprising that I do not know the names of actors or sports personalities. Not so long ago my son decided to test me to find out exactly how challenged I am when it comes to knowing who does what. The whole family roared with laughter when I though that George Clooney could be a golfer, apparently he is an actor. I don't mind the teasing, after all if we did a similar test on history, poetry, literature or various other things I am fairly sure that I would know more than them!

Recently I encountered a woman who told me that she intended to return the game that she had bought for £32.99 the previous day because it was not fit for purpose. I asked what was wrong with it and she said that the questions were much to hard (the game was age 12 to adult). I must have looked a bit sceptical because she told me what some of the questions were.

- Who was Nebuchadnezzar

- What is an archipelago

- Who was Samuel Pepys

I was able to answer all the questions so she posed a few more which I also answered correctly. It was probably just luck that she chose questions that I was able to answer, but I was deeply offended when she told me that I only knew the answers because I am old! I thought (but didn't say) that old or not, I would not wish to publicise my ignorance by returning a game because it was too difficult! Maybe I am old, but I like to think that I could answer the questions because I have a wide general knowledge and I had a good education.

These little episodes along with the start of an annual recruitment phase at the company I work for has led me to realise that it takes all sorts to make a world - and it takes all sorts to make a good workforce. A group of people with different and complementary skills (and personalities) will make a stronger and more competent workforce. Only a fool appoints in his/her own image.

“Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn” - Orson Welles

My son persuaded me that he absolutely had to have new clothes ready for the start of term. He is in the final year of sixth form so he doesn't have to wear uniform and he doesn't seem to have grown since the end of last term but it seems that he can't possibly cope with the clothes that he already has. So one day last week I had the joy of a shopping trip to Topman and several of his other favourite shops.

He wanted a pair if chinos, really I would have liked to just give him the money and just send him shopping on his own, but he had asked me to go with him and it is unusual for him to want us to do things together, so it was important for me to go with him. Every pair of trousers that we looked at seemed to be designed for Stretch Armstrong. Wearing them would certainly be a shape changing (and probably life changing) experience! The legs were impossibly narrow but the bottom was loose so that they give the wearer a strange bow legged look as if they have lost their horse or have had an unfortunate accident. My son assured me that they are meant to look like that, and just to be sure that I got the message he told me that old people don't understand fashion! It is so nice to have teenagers around to make me feel good about myself!!

He chose a pair of 'Stretch Armstrong' trousers with turn ups in a contrasting colour - and he dares to say that Robbie's fashion sense is weird! He then spotted another pair of trousers on the sale rail, they were the same sort of style but without the contrasting turn ups. That was the sum total of our purchases from Topman, but we still had more to buy. He chose a pair of long shorts, a patterned jumper, a pack of socks including a green pair with ducks on and one or two other bits and bobs. He was very happy with his purchases and to be fair the clothes looked better on than off, but I can't help thinking that there was a lot of truth in the words of Oscar Wilde

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months" - Oscar Wilde

“Life is a frail moth flying caught in the web of the years that pass.” - Sara Teasdale

We live quite to a park and there is other open space nearby too, perhaps that is why we get so many moths in our house during the summer months. They come into the bathroom, maybe they are attracted to the light, but I read somewhere that they like a humid atmosphere so perhaps that explains why they choose the bathroom. 

I rather like moths, they have beautiful markings and they don't really do any harm in the bathroom. I love having the chance to take a close look at their markings when they settle on the wall, they really are very beautiful in a more subtle and understated way than butterflies. The problem is that our cat Oreo has appointed himself moth catcher in chief and during 'moth season' he lurks in the vicinity of the bathroom ready to pounce on any unsuspecting moth which is careless enough to stray within his reach! I feel very sorry for the moths.

Since we have been back from holiday it seems as if the moths have a death wish, I gave found corpses in the bath damp and dying moths around the sink and moths turning up their toes on the window ledge. I don't know what is going on. On Friday I found the corpse of what I thought was a grasshopper in the bath. On closer inspection I found that it was a speckled bush cricket. The question is, how did it get there? Speckled bush crickets are flightless, they can jump but our bathroom is upstairs and only the small top window was open, so how could it possibly have got into the bathroom?

'' I wrote my enemies names in the sand the sea washed them away, I wrote my friends names in the clouds and forever they will stay''

One of the nice things about being home again is having a reliable internet connection, and I spent part of Sunday morning uploading holiday photos to the blog. I love taking photos on the beach, it helps me to look at things differently and to notice the colours, shapes and patterns that the sea creates. The sea is at times wild and frightening and those things that are regularly battered by the sea are gradually smoothed and shaped. Perhaps life is a bit like that too!

  

The greatest gift is our own eyes, sense of smell, and abilities to deduce - Patricia Cornwell

I was dreading going home after our holiday, because I knew the house would be a mess, it was, but it was not as bad as it was last year. We had a nice surprise because my daughter had painted the bathroom and it looks very nice. When we opened the front door we were met by a very unpleasant smell and my first hour or so at home was taken up with trying to track it down. It wasn't animal related and it wasn't the bin, amazingly the bin bag in the kitchen was almost empty. I tracked the pong to the kitchen but I couldn't identify it, I checked for rotting vegetables, but there were none, I had a good sniff inside the fridge but the smell wasn't coming from there. 

In the end I had to leave it and get on with tidying the kitchen and doing the laundry. Then Robbie made me a cup of tea and I sat down in the lounge to drink it. I could smell an over-ripe banana in the fruit bowl and I took it out to the food recycling caddy and as I lifted the lid, the pong was revealed in all it's glory. The contents of the caddy which had morphed into a green hairy mass, had been there since before our holiday! When I had escorted the stinking mass to the outside food bin and disinfected the food caddy, the inquest began. My son was adamant that it was not on his list - a typically aspie response! My older daughter who has a poor sense of smell claimed not to have noticed it and her sister announced that she doesn't have anything to do with food recycling because it is gross. So, the combined intellect of two university graduates and an A Level student was not sufficient to cope with the 'complexities' of  emptying the food caddy. Next year I will leave the cat in charge!

Time To Go Home .........................

Saturday was a bright sunny morning, we didn't need to rush as we had until noon to pack up and leave the bungalow. Usually at the end of a holiday it feels rushed and chaotic but not this time, we were relaxed and organised and it didn't take too long to get everything packed in the car and to leave the place looking spotless. I had time to take one last look at the beach and to say a reluctant farewell to the sea. I have spent so many happy times there and some heartbreaking times too, it seems as if I have a very special connection to Walcott.

It must have been about 11am when we drove away from the bungalow. It was a scorching hot day, and I was looking forward to having brunch in Mundesley before heading home. The car park at Mundesley was filling up fast and there was a long queue for the pay and display machine, so while Robbie got the ticket I put the reflective sun screens across the front windows of the car so that the steering wheel wouldn't be 'too hot to handle' when we got back. 

We had a lovely meal and (in my case) a very good pot of tea at the Beach Cafe. It was a nice way to end our holiday. Afterwards we sat and looked out across the beach at everyone having fun and enjoying the sunshine. To be honest it was too hot for me, I don't cope very well with heat and there was no breeze. I decided that it was time to hit the road so that the air conditioning in the car could cool us down. Robbie thought it would be better for us to take the scenic route - which just happens to take us past the North Norfolk Railway! When we got to Holt he asked to spend some time at the railway, but I think we both knew that it was time to bid a fond farewell to Norfolk.
We had a good journey home and we stopped off at my mum's for a cup of tea before going home. Mum is still not feeling too well, but she is making progress.

A Sense of Perspective

Last Friday was the last day of our holiday. I didn't want the holiday to end, but I was determined that we would enjoy our last day. Robbie jumped at the chance of another visit to Wroxham Barns, so when we had done all the boring things like last minute shopping and filling the car with fuel we took a gentle drive to Wroxham. 

Robbie wanted to have a look around before going to Uncle Stuart's Brewery for a pint of Summer Ale. We looked at jigsaws, Robbie usually has a new one to take on holiday, but this year he couldn't make his mind up about what he wanted so when he sees one that 'floats his boat' we will buy it. He is rather tempted by a design called Grandad's Attic, but in the end he decided to have another think before buying it. There is method in his madness, if he puts it off for a week or two he knows that he will have a good reason to go to to one of his favourite shops Jeys of Earls Barton to look at jigsaws - and of course they have an amazing coffee shop! Anyway we had a good look around at all the shops and we bought one or two things. Then we went to sit in the sunshine while Robbie enjoyed a pint of Summer Ale and I had a cup of tea. I don't need to say that we had a lovely day, the picture of Robbie says more than words ever could!

We spent the afternoon and evening at the bungalow, enjoying the special atmosphere of the place and wishing that we didn't have to return to reality. In the evening I watched the bats circling around and then I stood by the back gate as it was getting dark and listened to the waves lapping on the beach it was like listening to the heartbeat of the earth. Far on the horizon I could see lights from distant ships sparkling like stars on the sea. I felt very small and insignificant standing there in the darkness but in some way it put the world and it's worries in perspective and reminded me of the things that really matter in life.

Magna Est Veritas

A Good Drying Day

When I woke up on Thursday morning I was surprised to find that it was already a beautiful sunny day, so I decided to strike while the iron was hot and get some washing out - it was dry in a couple of hours! To be honest I was feeling a bit anxious because today was A level results day and my son had to go and pick up his AS Level exam results. It seemed to take forever but eventually the phone rang and his sister informed me that he had got good grades. My son then came on the phone, for just long enough for me to congratulate him, then he handed me back to his sister, I don't think he has any idea how how much I worry about him at times!

I didn't really want to go anywhere today the garden and the beach are all we need and the weather is perfect, but the lure of the beach cafe drew us to Mundesley for a late lunch. The food was excellent and better still they have mastered the art of making a good cup of tea, in fact their pot of tea for one provided two full cups of tea and the milk jug contained plenty of milk. The beach was busy but the tide was out so there was plenty of room for everyone. I was tempted to go for a stroll on the beach at Mundesley, but in the end we decided to head back to our beach at Walcott instead. Robbie doesn't paddle, but I love it so we strolled along the beach with me splashing about in the shallows and him keeping a safe distance. This year I asserted my independence and bought a pair of Crocs, much to the disgust of my daughters. For years they have told me that it would be too embarrassing for words if I wore Crocs, but I decided that they will just have to come to terms with the embarrassment because I needed some comfortable and practical holiday footwear. They are the most comfortable shoes i have ever worn, so I think I will wear them at home too!!

Relaxing on the Railway

We had decided to get up early and drive to the North Norfolk Railway on Wednesday, but even the prospect of trains didn't encourage Robbie to get a wriggle on. We set of quite a lot later than we planned, but as it was Cromer Carnival I hoped that people would be heading to Cromer rather than Weybourne. As it turned out everyone seemed to have shunned Cromer in favour of the railway and we couldn't park at Weybourne. We drove to Holt instead and we found a fairly convenient parking space, it had the added bonus of giving Robbie the chance to take countless photos of Holt Flyer, the old Routemaster bust that runs between the station and the town centre.

Holt station is nowhere near as nice as Weybourne, and the toilets are disappointing but Robbie likes Holt because it has fairground rides and a little museum, which gives Robbie the chance to take lots of photos. We made lots of trips between Holt, Weybourne and Sherringham and there was the inevitable and very long visit to the railway bookshop at Weybourne. I don't know where we are going to put all his new books and magazines when we get home!

We had taken a picnic lunch with is and we ate it in the sunshine at a picnic table at Holt Station. The forecast was for strong wind and torrential rain, but it did not materialise, there was a brief shower which only lasted two or three minutes in the early afternoon, then it was calm and sunny again until we were back at the bungalow and we had a sudden heavy shower which lasted for less than five minutes. We have been very lucky with the weather it has been dry and sunny every day and I don't think I have worn a jacket or cardigan for the whole fortnight.

Don't Judge A Book By It's Cover!

I wanted to have a quieter day on Tuesday (holidays with Robbie are exhausting!) and Robbie needed to have his hair cut so we decided to have a lazy morning and then head into North Walsham for him to 'get his ears lowered'. It didn't take very long and they did a good job, so after having a quick look at the shops we drove to Mundesley because Robbie wanted to try out a new coffee shop.

The coffee shop, called The Corner House looked promising, when we drove past it but sadly looks can be deceiving. My grandma would occasionally describe people 'as all fur coat and no knickers' meaning that they may put on a good front, but that beneath the window dressing the person was 'cheap' - that is exactly what we found with the Corner House, the food was putrid and it was our worst eating experience in Norfolk. I ordered a pot of tea for one and a jacket potato with cheese and Robbie had a coffee with a cheese panini, so there wasn't a lot that they could get wrong - or so we thought! My tea was served in one of those pots that fits into the tea cup, with a silly little jug of milk that did not contain enough to drown a gnat. It is all very well having fancy tablecloths, but if your teapots dribble it really spoils the experience for the customer. I would have been much happier with a normal functional teapot, I would have also liked a jug of hot water so that I could vary the strength of the tea. There were sugar bowls on the table, with disgusting, hard crusty bits of sugar on top, but there were no sweeteners. Thankfully I had my own sweeteners, but the tea was disappointing, like bad railway tea. Robbie said his coffee was OK, but he would have liked sweeteners not sugar. 

My jacket potato arrived before Robbie's panini, it looked alright but on closer inspection it was ruined before it even go to me. When you order a jacket potato with cheese you don't expect someone to contaminate it with onion, but that is exactly what they had done, what passed for a side salad had been scattered over the plate and that included chopped onion and pepper as well as coleslaw. I picked every bit out and heaped it on the side of my plate but it was too late, the taste of onion had tainted the whole meal. There were no condiments except salt (in a dirty salt cellar) and pepper, I would have liked mayonnaise, but there was none available. The potato itself tasted foul, it was powdery and disgusting, I got Robbie to taste it to prove that it wasn't just me moaning, he said it was horrible. His panini was thin, flat and seriously anaemic, he said it was just about edible but only just.

The food wasn't the only problem with the Corner House, the music was absolutely dreadful, I don't want that sort of row when I go to a coffee shop. The seating was very uncomfortable and they allowed dogs in the coffee shop. Over all it was a very unpleasant experience.

We enjoyed a nice relaxed evening at the bungalow, I love the big Norfolk skies and the red sky in the evening is beautiful - 'Red at night shepherd's delight'.

A Day in Cromer

We decided that we would get up early on Monday and drive to Cromer. The early bit didn't quite work out as planned, the Norfolk air must be getting to Robbie because he has lost all sense of urgency. Even when he'd had his shave and shower, he took an age to get dressed, then when he was finally dressed he put his shoes on in slow motion - how long can it possibly take to put two shoes on!

When we got to Cromer Robbie found a hotspot and he took the chance to upload a lot of photos to Facebook. Mobile phone and internet  reception in Norfolk leave a great deal to be desired, so Robbie was determined to make the most of the hotspot - while I waited! We enjoyed wandering around Cromer, but Robbie kept vanishing, one minute he would be next to me then I would turn around to see him darting off to take yet another photo of a bus. They all look the same to me, but I don't tell Robbie that otherwise he would explain the differences in far more detail than I could cope with.

We enjoyed looking at books and jigsaws in Jarolds and our favourite book shop behind the church. We bought one or two things but we were quite restrained by Robbie's standards. It was another lovely warm, sunny day so we strolled towards the sea front. I must have taken countless photos of the pier over the years, but I couldn't resist taking more because it really is a splendid pier. When we had seen all we wanted of Cromer we drove back to Walcott in time to stroll on the beach and enjoy the garden.