Monday 30 April 2012

Adults are obsolete children - Dr. Seuss

It hasn't been much of a weekend. I was kept awake by the wind last night (the outside kind) it rained all night and the wind was very strong. It woke me up and then I couldn't get back to sleep because I was worried about the roof, it felt as if the wind was strong enough to dislodge tiles from the roof. I got increasingly irritated  with myself because I was tired and I really needed to get some sleep. Then this morning I really didn't feel very well, I am cold and shivery and I ache, I really hope it is not a bug, I haven't got time to be ill. 


This morning Robbie was anxious about the state of the railway, it seems it took a bit of a battering last night and fallen trees and such like have caused problems today. I was more anxious about feeling unwell, Robbie brought me a cup of tea to make me feel better. Then he cuddled up next to me and talked about the weather (and trains). He was surprisingly perceptive in noticing that I am sick and tired of 'weather'. It seems to have rained every day since I they declared that we are in a drought area! I have to admit that Robbie managed to cheer me up with his next topic of conversation. Only Robbie could cuddle up in bed on Sunday morning and talk excitedly about his childhood collection of erasers. Apparently his favourite was one in the shape of a cassette tape which fitted into a cassette player shaped case.


We went out briefly this afternoon to see my mum, there were floods on several roads and our lovely park is flooded; we saw the ducks swimming along what should be a footpath. We were glad to get back to the relative sanity of home. I was still feeling out of sorts, so I wasn't that bothered when Robbie asked to watch Get Carter for the second time this weekend. I had my head buried in the computer when Robbie gave a shout of excitement. He said he had seen a Deltic and he insisted on rewinding it so that I could see it too. He sat there on the floor rewinding it and watching it over and over again. It seems he is easily pleased!

Saturday 28 April 2012

I am best viewed from a distance - Jenny Eclair

For the latter part of this week Robbie has been best viewed from a distance, and to be quite honest the greater the distance the better as far as I was concerned. I didn't see him until after I finished work on Wednesday evening. He approached the car with a big smile and as soon as got into the car he leant across to kiss me and he quite literally took my breath away - he stank! When I eventually recovered the power of speech I asked what he'd been eating? He gave a little shrug and said "nothing". I knew that wasn't true, the day that Robbie doesn't eat anything will be the day that he requires an ambulance!


It was a very difficult journey, the car stank and I was scared to breathe. I needed to get home as quickly as possible in order to escape from Robbie's breath, but I resisted the temptation to exceed the speed limit! He gave me one of his sheepish 'little boy' smiles and admitted that he had been out for lunch with his friends. He said that he'd had some rather nice sweet potato soup. Sweet? His breath was anything but sweet, he could have stripped paint with his breath! I kept my distance for the rest of the evening, but the pong seemed to take over the house so I retreated to the relative safety of the bedroom. I was asleep before he came to bed but too my horror his breath was just as bad the next morning!


His breath had improved a bit by the evening (but it was still a work in progress). He'd had a productive day and a pleasant time after work with friend's so he was bouncy and cheerful while I was exhausted after a challenging day. I was sitting at in the car looking down at my phone (to reply to a text) when Mr B crept up to the car and banged on the bonnet. I nearly jumped out of my skin, but he thought it was hilarious. Why do men never grow up? He spent the first half of the journey home giggling and the second half apologising!


I thought life would be back to normal by Friday, but I had forgotten that he was going out after work to mark a colleague's retirement. He arrived home (eventually) sober but smelly - I detest the smell of alcohol. I was happy to leave him downstairs watching television when I went to bed, but he must have found his way upstairs at some point because I woken this morning by Robbie 'backfiring'. I tried to ignore it, then I tried to wake him up, I failed dismally on both counts. In the end I decided that I suffered enough and I abandoned him in favour of the peace and quiet (and clean air) of the lounge. This week has taught me an important lesson - not to take fresh air for granted!

Friday 27 April 2012

The rabbit has a shiny nose as nature does intend, because it has a powder puff at the other end

The rhyme in the title is one that I learnt in childhood - before I moved on to more dubious playground rhymes! Judging by Robbie's recent difficulty when building the Lego figure in a rabbit suit, he probably didn't learn that little rhyme. 


One of our regular blog readers has asked for a picture of Robbie's version of the rabbit suit figure, so here it is. I am surprised that he didn't notice that the arms were on backwards, but more to the point what did he think the tail was? The bunny version of a fig leaf perhaps, or perhaps it was a Scottish rabbit with the bunny version of a sporran! 


Taking another look at this minifigure had made me wonder if someone at Lego has a slightly warped sense of humour, that rabbit is holding an implausibly large carrot, and the gorilla suit figure from a previous minifigure series is armed with a banana of equally magnificent proportions! 

Thursday 26 April 2012

'I am still reeling with delight at the soaring majesty of Norfolk.' John Betjeman

It feels as if things have been tough for a long time, worries and problems seem to pop up like mushrooms. Mostly we can deal with them, I'm a fighter, I don't give up, but I do get tired sometimes. It is hard to watch the gradual decline of a family member and it is even harder to to find the time and energy to offer appropriate support. Other problems are a different sort of battle, time consuming, exhausting, but with right on our side, dogged determination and persistence, I am sure that things will work out in the end. Worries or not we still do our best to enjoy the fun  and challenges of family life. Life is here and now so we can't let it slip through our fingers.


We has some exciting and unexpected news last weekend. It will be possible for us to go to Norfolk on holiday after all. When we went to the bungalow last year we thought it would be the last time we would be able to stay there. The person who owned it, a family friend had been very ill for a long time and his family were not sure about the future of the bungalow. Sadly he died recently but his wife has offered us the chance to rent the bungalow again this summer. It has really cheered me up, it is lovely to have something to look forward to, I love the bungalow and that part of Norfolk holds a very special place in my heart.


Robbie is very excited about another holiday in Norfolk, he loves it there too. He has already planned a couple of trips to the North Norfolk Railway, a trip to Norwich to have a look at Crown Point, a day out 'doing the drags' on the middle weekend, the list goes on and on! I have already had to remind him that there are only 14 days in a fortnight and he has to leave himself time for his other favourite pastime, watching the ship with his binoculars. Once a 'spotter' always a spotter!!

Wednesday 25 April 2012

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her - Marcelene Cox

I think it is a myth that women love to shop, I detest shopping and I do everything in my power to avoid it. Robbie loves to shop, if shopping was an Olympic sport  he would be a gold medalist! Pain permitting he will happily wander from shop to shop making a mental note of everything in stock. He is interested in absolutely everything, clothes, shoes, books, toiletries, gadgets, kitchen equipment, you name it Robbie knows about it! When he can't shop he reads about shopping, even about the changing dimensions of toilet rolls!


These days unfortunately pain and long working hours limits Robbie's enjoyment of shopping to some extent these days. I find myself I often find myself doing errands for him and woe betide me if I get the wrong item. Yesterday I went shopping for food, just day to day items mainly, but Robbie likes a particular brand of chicken and mushroom pie and I was going to get one of those for him too. They didn't have any in stock so I was brave (or foolish) enough to buy an alternative brand instead. It was a more expensive brand so I thought Robbie may be willing to try it. As soon as I told him about it he had that sulky look that he does so well. It was as if a big black cloud had settled over us. He said he was unhappy because the quality of the gravy was bound to be wrong and he would rather go without than have to put up with an alternative. Failed again! 


I failed last week too, I bought the usual brand of liquid soap, but I chose the green one with aloe vera rather than the usual option. Robbie gets very sore cracked hands and I thought the aloe vera may be good for his skin. He was not impressed, he complained plaintively about the 'smell' I think it is quite pleasant, but it doesn't float Robbie's boat. It looks as if we will have to have his and hers hand wash for a while until I work my way through the three bottles of aloe vera that I bought. Today he mentioned that he needs more hair stuff. I am dreading getting that because when they changed the packaging I bought a stash of the old design, but now he has to adjust to the new pack and I know that he will moan about it. I guess I will just have to throw a deaf ear, I am good at that, I get lots of practice. 


I am quietly confident that he will be pleased with one recent purchase. I have to do some odd things for Robbie at times but 'feeling' Lego men has to be closet to the top of the list. The minifigures come in individual sealed packs, there are 16 to collect but the only reliable way to find the one you want is to feel the pieces through the foil bag. I have become very good at finding them this way, but I have had some very dodgy looks. I must be mad, standing in the shop for ages 'molesting' Lego men, just to put a smile on Robbie's face! He only opens one figure each day and he still has a couple of unopened ones in his stash, but I am confident that they will complete his set of series 7 minifigures.

Monday 23 April 2012

The whole universe is based on rhythms. Everything happens in circles, in spirals - John Hartford

The weekend had slipped past far too quickly, so when we sat down on Sunday evening I wanted to enjoy what was left of the evening. The demands of another week would be upon us all too soon. It is nice to just be together, we don't have to talk all the time - and even Robbie can be quiet sometimes! Unfortunately yesterday wasn't one of his quiet times. I was working on updating the blog layout, but every time I started to concentrate on it Robbie started to talk to me again. Not just normal conversation, it was mostly 'did you know' type questions and a rather too enthusiastic sharing of information from the newspaper.


I thought I had made it clear to Robbie that I was becoming exhausted by too much trivia, but it seems he hadn't got the message. He called my name yet again and asked if I knew that Sainsburys are changing the size of the cardboard tube inside their own brand toilet rolls. I asked him why he would expect me to know that, we don't even shop at Sainsburys! My lack of interest didn't seem to bother him; he went on to tell me the exact dimensions of the new style toilet roll. He seemed disappointed that I still wasn't interested, so he made a final bid for my attention by telling me that there was a circle printed in the paper that we could cut out. With the aid of the circle we could find out if the new style rolls would fit our toilet roll dispenser. He got upset when I told him very bluntly that we don't use that brand of loo roll, we don't even shop in that supermarket so I don't need to know! I know Robbie loves detail, but honestly, that is ridiculous, there isn't enough free space in my memory for all the things I need to remember, I certainly don't have room for nonsense like that. 

Sunday 22 April 2012

When one jumps over the edge, one is bound to land somewhere.

“When one jumps over the edge, one is bound to land somewhere.” – D. H. Lawrence


I found this quote while I was looking for something completely different. It stayed in my mind because it because it evokes an interesting image. It is self evident that a person who jumps over the edge will land somewhere, but it is not very reassuring. Most of us like a little more certainty, we need to know where we are heading. Taking a leap into the unknown is very scary but sometimes it is the right thing to do.


According to the National Trust young people are missing out on childhood adventures because they are not getting outside. In order to get children outdoors and to encourage a spirit of adventure they have come up with a list of 50 things to do before you are 11¾.



OK, I know it is a bit late for me, but it is an interesting list. I have done most of the things on the list and I had almost certainly ticked off most of them before the age of 11¾, I was a bit of a tomboy. There are a couple of things that I would add to the list. Shelling peas - and finding the occasional wriggling maggot inside. Making a den among the bales in the hay barn, that one is a lot harder these days because we don't have small bales any more, and it would almost certainly be contravene health and safety regulations.


The list led me to think of things that I should do before I get too old to manage it or too forgetful to remember it. I found all sorts of suggestions on the internet, but nothing really captured my imagination. Perhaps I have already got all the wacky, wild and weird things out of my system, or perhaps I am just plain boring. I think having Robbie in my life brings enough craziness to last a lifetime!I commented to my son that it would be fun to be an embarrassment to my children just once in my life. He gave me a long stare, raised one eyebrow and informed me that I could already tick that one off my list! 


I have no great desire to travel or to achieve anything spectacular. It would be nice to have a tidy house, that has been a work in progress for the last 20 years! Perhaps I will achieve it before I die. It would be nice to be debt free, another work in progress, at least the end of the mortgage is not too many years ahead. Robbie have always talked about having a VW camper van when we are older, it would give us the freedom to go wherever the mood takes us. Knowing Robbie we would never stray far from the railway. I have always dreamed of spending a whole summer (or even longer) by the sea. Perhaps that dream will come true one day, who knows. It is nice to dream, but long as my family are happy, healthy and safe I will be content. 

Saturday 21 April 2012

Putting a Smile on His Face

I remember my dad telling me that if my grandma needed cheering up (or buttering up) a new hat was the order of the day.  I don't think she ever went out without a hat; she may have influenced me in many ways, but I wasn't built for hats, the only hat that I have worn willingly is a riding hat! A hat would be the very last thing to cheer me up!

There are many things that put a smile on Robbie's face and shoes are close to the top of the list. He really should be grinning like a Cheshire cat because by my calculations he has six new pairs this year! Four pairs of Dr Martens and two pairs of Converse. His latest pair were delivered yesterday, a pair of low Converse All Star's. The colour is called 'Waterfall' which is very close to turquoise. They were a real bargain from the Office sale and they are intended to replace his light blue pair which have seen better days. He had already bought a pair to replace his red patterned Converse that are falling apart.  

The only bit that he hasn't got around to is throwing the old ones away. I reminded him of this and he agreed that he would throw them away. I was lulled into a false sense of security until he said "but I am going to keep the material ....". I thought he was joking at first, but he was absolutely serious. He plans to cut out and keep the material from his smelly old shoes! OK I admit that they are not smelly, but seriously why on earth would he want to save bits of old shoe! I blame his railway friends for putting crackpot ideas into his head, they have some very weird habits. He told me the other day about someone who collects bits of moquette from old train seats, now that really is weird, it makes Robbie sound relatively normal!      

Friday 20 April 2012

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on - Franklin D Roosevelt

Yesterday was 'one of those days'. If I am honest those difficult days seem to crop up with surprising regularity and just occasionally I find myself wondering if things will ever get easier. I am not usually an Eeyore type, I try to have a positive outlook, but everyone has their moments. 


We all have our own ways of dealing with a bad day, some people distract themselves with a shopping trip, but I prefer to log on to the computer to spend an hour or two working on my family history. I enjoy finding out about the lives of my ancestors and it helps to put things into perspective. However difficult things seem to be for me, I know that I have it easy in comparison to many of my ancestors. 


I have been working on a very faded photograph of my grandma and a group of other people. With the help of a couple of other people I have managed to restore the photo and I have been trying hard to identify the other people in the picture. It is strange looking at a photo of my grandmother as a young woman, no older than my children are now. I remember her as a strong and rather formidable old lady, but looking at the younger photo I saw a gentler face full of youthful hope. It must have been about 1911 and I realised that dreadful worry and sorrows lay ahead of her. There must have been times when just putting one foot in front of the other and getting on with life was almost impossible, but she did it. Her life experiences gave her the inner strength and determination that I remember so clearly.


She had many little sayings, one of her favourites was 'whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger'. I didn't realise it at the time, but she was living proof of that. Thinking about my grandma reminded me of a framed verse that she kept on the mantelpiece,"Four things come not back, the spoken word, the sped arrow, the past life and the neglected opportunity". I didn't understand the truth of it at the time, but I do now. I will not allow the worries and aggravations that come my way to cast a shadow over the many good things in my life. People may have cause to regret underestimating me, I come from a long line of strong women and I don't give up!


Magna est veritas et praevalet     

Wednesday 18 April 2012

Getting a word in edgeways

On Sunday evening Robbie, my son and I were sitting in the lounge, they were watching something boring on television and I was chatting to someone on the internet. The adverts came on and I commented on one which really annoys me. Rather than making me want to buy their products it makes me want to shop elsewhere to punish them for such irritating adverts. My son who was sitting on the other side of the room said "Mum, speak with your inside voice!"
Robbie was sitting in the corner trying to hide the fact that he was giggling like Mutley. He and my son are like two little kids, each takes great pleasure in seeing the other one get into trouble, but at other times they gang up and tease me. I overcame the urge to dash across the room and grab him by the throat, preferring instead to let him hear considerably more of my 'outside voice'. 


I pointed out that I had put up with a lifetime of drivel from my son. I had smiled sweetly during his 'dinosaur phase' while being subjected to more information than anyone could ever need to know about the life and times of the dinosaur. Then there had been his Denis the Menace phase, his spy phase, the Superman phase. Not to mention his obsessive interest in all things film related - and I do mean all things film related, he nearly drove me mad with the myth of the hanging Munchkin. Then we come to Robbie, I don't know where to start when it comes to his obsessions, he shares Lego, Dr Martens, Indie music, Hornby, railways in general, buses, books, magazines ......... and that really is the tip of the iceberg. I can assure you that he doesn't hold back when it comes to sharing his enthusiasm about all these subjects - even at the most inappropriate moments. Thanks to Robbie I know so much about the workings (and failings) of train toilets that I could choose it as a specialist subject on Mastermind! I have never once asked either of them to 'speak with their inside voice' and I have put up with both of them having the attention span of a gnat when it comes to anything I want to talk to them about. Well the worm has turned! Prepare to be bored rigid boys, you are going to hear a lot more of my voice, as they say, if you can't beat them join them!!

Monday 16 April 2012

Gardens are a form of autobiography - Sydney Eddison

If it is true that gardens are a form of autobiography then it probably suggests that my life is a bit of a disaster! I am not a gardener, given the choice I would always choose a beach to a garden, in fact I would choose field in preference to a garden. I don't like to see things growing in rows and I don't like big brash plants in bold colours. I prefer a gentler, more natural look, with more subtle flowers such as bluebells and primroses. 


In our back garden we have a couple of large lilac bushes, which I am quite fond of. The trouble is that they are thugs, if you turn your back on them they double in size and start marching across the garden. In the far corner is a large Hawthorne tree, I love that most of all, the blossom is beautiful, it cheers me up when I look out of the kitchen window. We have a couple of other trees too, the holly is still there because it puts off anyone who may think of coming over the back fence, but maybe I should plant a couple of Pyracanthas as well, they have some serious thorns! There is a big tree at the back of the garden, I don't know what it is, but I know it is too tall and it really should come down. The trouble is that it is easier said than done and it is one of those things that keeps getting put off because there is always a more urgent call on our finances.


In the front garden we have several rose bushes a climbing rose, clematis, forsythia and my absolute favourite a very large Philadelphus. I am fond of the roses, especially the climbing rose, but it feels as if they are in competition with the hedge to see which one can grow fastest and take over the garden. Allowing things to look natural is one thing but allowing them to take over is quite another. The rose bushes had become too tall and too wide so that it was hard to walk around the front garden and the hedge was reaching out into the garden and threatening to stop anyone walking down the path. Clearly it was time to take drastic action, so this weekend we the whole family made a concerted attack on the front garden. Robbie was incredible, he tamed the hedge next to the drive. I was really worried that he would aggravate his back and I could tell that he was hurting but he did a good job. I did battle with the roses - they fought back and they fight dirty, but in the end they were cut down to size. My daughter's boyfriend tackled the rest of the hedge and my son and daughter tamed the other shrubs. It looks a lot better now, but it will be a while before I want to do that again.

Sunday 15 April 2012

To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect. Oscar Wilde

Look what I saw when I popped out to buy eggs on Friday! As I was walking back to the car I looked over into the paddock to see the donkeys and there it was just sitting there grazing. If I didn't know it was flightless I would swear that's what's been targeting my car in the last couple of weeks!! It is the strangest sight, two donkeys and an ostrich grazing in a field.


Robbie will be most put out that I went to the farm shop without him. He doesn't think I do anything when he is not around, one day I will really do nothing and he will soon spot the difference! He will also be disappointed that I didn't buy him any dripping. I was going to, but they didn't have any. It is probably just as well because it really isn't good for him; he only has it as an occasional treat. Not that I would consider it a treat, it looks absolutely disgusting and I have never felt the urge to try it. I will get him some next time I go to the farm shop. When it comes to food (and most other things) my grandmother's advice has served me well 'a little of what you fancy does you good'.

Friday 13 April 2012

A Frivolous Purchase?

I really didn't want Robbie to go back to work yesterday, but as they say, all good things must come to an end. We'd had a lovely time on Wednesday. Robbie asked to go out for a drive and surprise, surprise, the route he chose just happened to take us to the Doc Shop! We went in just to see what new stuff they have and for once it was me rather than Robbie that fell in love with a pair of boots! They were very nice and very comfortable, I would have liked to buy them but I was afraid. Afraid that I was too old for Dr Martins and afraid that my kids would not approve. The sensible 'me' took control and reminded me that I need new work shoes before I even think about a frivolous purchase. I didn't buy them, but it wouldn't take me long to go back if I manage to convince myself that I don't have to be sensible all the time!!


We drove back via Earls Barton and had coffee (or in my case tea) at the Apothocoffee Shop, they make a fantastic cup of tea. Robbie was lusting after a Hornby mug, he will have to save up for that himself, I have a pair of boots on my wish list! I did treat him to a rather apt coaster for his his desk at work. It could be based on Northampton Station, but there again there again it is not unknown for New Street to go one step further and advertise a departure from one platform and then at the last minute announce that it was now departing from a completely different platform - John Peel (Home Truths) used to call it the New Street gallop! 

Thursday 12 April 2012

Built for a kilt!

Robbie has been rather upset recently because he thinks someone has a grudge against him, in fact he thinks they are deliberately setting out to make him unhappy. At first I took no notice because, I thought he was making a big deal about it, but it does seem that he may have a point. So who is this terrible person that has a vendetta against Robbie? It's the 'Lego fairy'. Robbie thinks that whatever mechanism mixes up the minifigures in the boxes that Lego send out to shops is not working very well. Getting duplicates is just the luck of the draw, but ending up with quads when it is only a couple of weeks since the series was launched is a bit much.


So there was great excitement the other day when when he opened his latest minifigure and found one that he hadn't got. He sat in the corner with a look of deep concentration building his figure. It seemed to take an age so I asked what the problem was and he explained that it was the Scotsman but he was struggling with the kilt.  I was rather surprised because Robbie is not unfamiliar with kilts, but eventually he got it sorted and he proudly showed off his new minifigure. I couldn't resist taking a peek under the kilt, just in the spirit of extending my general knowledge! It was rather a disappointment, white Y fronts, what a turn off - Lego are spoilsports!!


Before I stray too far from the subject of 'under the kilt' I should also point out that when Robbie got the bunny suit man minifigure, I had to give him a lesson in basic anatomy. He had built the figure and proudly held it up to show it to me. I asked if he could see what was wrong with it, but he couldn't so I had to explain that a tail usually goes at the back! I don't know what he thought the white fluffy thing was, the modern day equivalent of a fig leaf to cover the rabbit's modesty perhaps. Finally the rabbit had all the right bits facing forward and it looked a lot better, it is a cute minifigure.

Wednesday 11 April 2012

Light the blue touch paper and ............................RUN!!

Sparks have been flying in our house. A week or so ago Robbie told me that I looked like a trout and when he realised that his words had upset me he tried to make it better by telling me that he didn't mean my whole face, just my mouth! 


He was forgiven eventually but clearly he hadn't learnt his lesson because a couple of days later he ruffled my hair and told me that I had so much grey hair that I must be ancient - has he looked in a mirror recently? I told him that my 'trout features' and my grey hair don't bother me because I don't have to look at them, but since I endure the sight of his imperfections without comment, maybe he could do the same.


I thought he had got the message, but yesterday while we were out on the train he picked up book about railway rover tickets. One minute he was sitting quietly reading, the next minute his voice boomed out across the carriage to inform the world and his wife about how soon I will be entitled to an age related discount. I gave him a withering stare and informed him that he may not survive that long! As if that wasn't enough for one day he got cross with me about something totally unimportant and informed me that I was a "moany, cantankerous old woman". I chose not to reply but when he saw my expression he looked terrified, I wasn't sure if he was going to run away or hide under the table!!The cat gives me a similar look when I catch him raiding the bin!


Believe it or not he had been forgiven by this morning. We popped into the supermarket for a few essentials and as we stood in the queue he very loudly admired the packaging design of some personal products that I did not wish to draw attention to. I gave him 'the look' but instead of shutting up he became more vocal. I fixed him with a glare and told him firmly that it is not necessary for every thought he has to come out through his mouth!!


I hope he has now got the message, but if not I will start sharing some of my thoughts with him - I don't think he will like it!

Tuesday 10 April 2012

Full Length Mirrors!!

The alarm woke me up from a rather confused dream, I don’t recall the detail of the dream but I know that the alarm became part of it. I must have spent about 20 minutes pushing the snooze button in my sleep before I woke up properly. I realised that if we were going to fulfil Robbie's plan for the day we needed to get moving – so I kicked him out of bed to go and make the sandwiches and I rolled over and went back to sleep! After all he is the one that wanted to go, so the least he could do was to make the sandwiches. He woke me again with a cup of tea and I grudgingly agreed to face the day. To be absolutely honest he wanted to go to London on a Chiltern Service and I didn’t want to go. I’d travelled on a Chiltern service from London to Birmingham last year and it was a very bad journey, so I wasn’t keen to repeat the experience, but if it was so important to Robbie I couldn’t very well refuse to go.

The omens were not good when we arrived at the station car park to find lots of empty parking spaces, but the pay and display machine wasn’t working so Robbie had to run around the car park looking for one that worked. When we finally got that sorted out we walked to the station building to find that London Midland had taken poor service to a new low. The queues at the ticket office were longer than the queues for the Next sale! According to the man when we finally got to the front of the queue this was because they were one person short on the ticket desks. It was impossible to hear what the man at the ticket desk was saying, so that added to the time taken by each customer and caused general confusion. For those that survived the car park and the queues the man on the ticket barrier was ‘cheerfulness personified’ I am not sure if he was there to check tickets or to repel all boarders!

I thought things would get better from that point but I was wrong. It was almost time for the train to go and it was almost out of sight at the far end of the platform. It was so far away that it was practically at Kings Heath!! Robbie made me run, we caught the train but it set my asthma off and left me struggling to breathe. Undeterred Robbie marched me through carriage after carriage in search of exactly the right seat. When we were finally seated and I had recovered the power of speech I begged Robbie not to make me run anymore today. His suggestion that I should keep my inhaler close by did not fill me with hope, so I told him in no uncertain terms that my running days are over.

Usually the London Midland train managers are good, but we got the exception that proves the rule, she looked a mess and she was inarticulate. Announcements matter to people, they need to be clear and easy to understand, but she failed on both counts. This became more important later in the journey when it was announced that the train would be terminating at Birmingham International. This left a lot of confused and upset passengers who didn’t understand what was happening and were worried about missing connections, so Robbie did his best to help the people around us.

To be fair, he didn’t make me run between platforms at Birmingham International, it was more of a trot, but it wasn’t a good experience. I guess it was worth it because we completed our journey to New Street on a Virgin Pendolino with an excellent train manager. Robbie was getting very wound up because the points failure near New Street that had interrupted our journey had made us very late and we were in danger of missing our connection at Moor Street. When we arrived at New Street Robbie left the train like a greyhound out of a trap, weaving around people, dodging obstacles (there were plenty of them) and generally making a quick getaway. I was left to trot along behind trying not to lose him. When we got outside I had to beg him to walk more slowly even if it meant missing the train, he was not a happy chap, but he did slow down. We didn’t have time to admire Moor Street, it looks like a pleasant station, but we did make our connection with a whole minute to spare!

We were travelling to London Marylebone in the Business Zone on a Chiltern Railways mainline loco hauled service. All I really cared about was being able to sit down and get my breath back. I must admit that the seat was quite comfortable; at least my legs didn’t dangle in the air like they do on an HST!  It was a fairly pleasant environment except that the p.a system didn’t work, properly, it sounded very faint and you couldn’t hear what was being said. It didn’t worry me too much because I was getting off at Marylebone but it would have mattered more if I had wanted to get off at one of the other stations it stopped at.

To be fair there wasn’t much else to complain about except the tea which was almost as putrid as Cross Country tea, surely a decent cup of tea is not too much to hope for, it is not rocket science! There was one other unnerving aspect to the journey, the toilet. It was clean enough, and it was certainly big enough, but it must have been designed by a man. The toilet roll dispenser would be within easy reach of the right hand for a person standing up, but a person who is seated has to reach behind over their left shoulder to reach it, not the easiest manoeuvre. Even worse there is a full length mirror which gives a full view of you seated on the ‘throne’ – unnerving to say the least! A man would be able to turn his back on the mirror but anyone sitting can’t avoid the view.

There is not much to say about Marylebone Station except that the toilets were seriously grim. I know that part of London well enough not to get too badly lost, so as we only had about an hour in London we went for a walk to have a quick look at 221b Baker Street.  Then it was back to the station in time to buy a coffee and head for our train. We had the same train manager on the on the way back, she was very good, but despite her best efforts she couldn’t do much with the internet connection which was patchy to say the least. 

When we got back to Moor Street I made sure that we walked back to New Street at a manageable speed. I couldn’t run for another train if my life depended on it! We had plenty of time before our train was due to leave, so we paid a quick visit to WH Smith to buy a magazine. Then back to the platform for the best part of my day, a Virgin Pendolino to Rugby, a perfect journey despite the mad man swearing at the top of his voice in the quiet coach!

The final part of our journey to Northampton on a London Midland service was uneventful but noisy; Robbie said that he is longing for the children to go back to school! Northampton Station was calmer, but no more welcoming than when we left this morning. There is one part of the station that deserves praise, the toilets. They are always clean and well looked after and they are free!

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts - Albert Einstein

If you asked Robbie he would tell you that I am pretty good at spotting clues and gathering evidence, as he has found to his cost in the past - I don't miss much! Unfortunately the detective work that I am engaged in at the moment is even more difficult than keeping tabs on Robbie, because the clues are old and there is no one left who can tell me if my conclusions are correct. It is like trying to complete a jigsaw when most of the pieces are missing. That is the 'joy' of family history research, reaching out to grasp detail that you know is there but it is tantalisingly out of reach.


Over the last few days I have been making renewed efforts to identify the people in my grandmothers photo album. There are lots of photos of my dad, poor chap, I thought I'd had some dodgy outfits in my time but you should see what my grandma dressed him in! I also recognise my grandfather, my grandma and some of her siblings but most of the other people are strangers to me. I don't know if I should be grateful to my grandma for preserving the photos or infuriated that she didn't label any of them. Even the few that have writing on the back have proved challenging. I was overjoyed when I eased a photo of a family group out of the album and found that it had writing on the back, but my pleasure was short lived. The writing wished my grandmother a happy Christmas wit love from "us all". There should be a law against such things, if I had my way people would be compelled to write first names and surnames on the back of each photo!


My advice to others is not to jump to conclusions and to ask lots of questions, however foolish they sound, because that will give you more chance of getting to the truth. Thanks to the good people on the Roots Chat forum I now know more about my great uncle Frank Buswell. He died in World War 1 and his obituary described him as 'Driver Frank Buswell of the Royal Field Artillary'. To me a driver is a person who sits in a vehicle behind a steering wheel so I wondered why his uniform included spurs and a riding crop. I assumed that it must be some sort of tradition, but today I plucked up the courage to ask why. One of the Roots Chat members patiently explained that As a driver he would have rode/Controlled teams of horses that pulled the guns and equipment of the Royal Field Artillery so he would have worn spurs etc. Another mystery solved and in the process I have gained a more accurate picture of his military service. 


When it comes to family history, finding answers is only part of the problem, the most difficult thing is finding the questions. There are things we do not know we don't know! 

Monday 9 April 2012

What goes on in his head?

It was 8.30am on Saturday morning and I was tired of waiting for Robbie to wake up, so I decided to wake him up. He seemed oblivious of the first two or three prods, then suddenly he turned over and said "That's a surprise, there were no announcements". I asked what he was talking about and he said that he dreamt that Google had a new operating platform and he was trying to work it out. Not for the first time it left me wondering what goes on in that man's head. I have never knowingly had a dream about Google, in fact I haven't given it a passing thought. What sort of person  dreams about Google for heaven sake!!


We had to go shopping for a gift for Robbie's new nephew. I was tempted by the usual sort of baby designs but Robbie was attracted to the more colourful designs. We couldn't agree, but then Robbie spotted a blue all in one with a Thomas the Tank Engine design and his mind was made up, apparently you are never too young for trains!! I know when I'm defeated, but I made sure that we found a cute cuddly elephant for the baby too.


Robbie spent most of the day planning and re planning the best route to south Staffordshire. I wondered why it was proving so hard to plan a train journey, I know it was a bank holiday weekend, but surely it shouldn't be that difficult. Eventually all became clear; he could take a more direct route and have time to eat with me before he left, but if he took the more contorted route via Walsall he could do a bit of bus spotting as well! If time had been on his side I think the buses would have won, but in the end he chose to spend a little longer with me so that we could go and eat.


I dropped Robbie off at the station in good time for his train and I drove off to do some shopping and to enjoy a few hours of peace and quiet. The peace and quiet didn't last long, when I got home my son had taken control of the television and I had to endure his viewing choices all evening. Well I didn't have to, but it would have been unkind to object when there was nothing that I wanted to watch. I occupied myself with family history research on the internet and before long I had 'zoned out' the junk on television. Meanwhile Robbie was at a family party to celebrate the wedding of his nephew (a different nephew, not the newborn one!!) according to his texts he was having a great time, but he had to admit that he is getting old - the music was too loud!! Maybe it wasn't such a hardship to put up with junk television after all, at least I could control the volume! 

Friday 6 April 2012

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife - Prince Philip

The title of this post has very little to do with the content, I came across it and I liked it so I used it. My son pointed out to me the other day that I am getting more Random. He claims that I go around assimilating all sorts of odd information, facts and quotations and then when I find an unsuspecting 'victim' I share all my all this information regardless of whether they are interested or not. I told him that he was describing Robbie not me, but he said that was his point, I am getting more like Robbie.


I thought about what he had said and I had to admit that I do have some random thoughts. The other day I found myself wondering why some of the things that my grandmother considered essential are hardly used at all today. People can't have changed that much in my lifetime so why is it that we no longer need such things as back scratchers, shoe horns and smelling salts? Could it be true, am I becoming as random as Robbie?


I told my son that he was completely wrong, I could never be like Robbie because I would never wear the same sort of clothes as him. My son has the unnerving ability to raise one eyebrow (I wish I could do that). He looked at me, raised his eyebrow and reminded me about the coat that Robbie bought for me which is similar to his Berghaus jacket. I told my son that his theory was rubbish but in my mind I had visions of Robbie and I becoming the next Howard and Hilda with matching anoraks! What a terrifying thought.


With that thought still niggling in my mind I turned to the internet for support. I found some research from America that suggested that couples do not grow more alike over the years. What they found was even more worrying, they suggested that people tend to settle down with people whose traits mirror their own. So couples don't grow alike over time, they are fairly similar to begin with. That can't be true, Robbie and I couldn't be more different. I dismissed the research, after all it was done in America and I have serious misgivings about the collective judgement of a country that elected George W twice! I told myself that the results would be different if the same research was carried out in England. I remembered a quotation about statistics from my school maths book 'Statistics are like a lamp-post to a drunken man - more for support than illumination'. The American researchers may have questioned 1300 couples but their conclusions didn't support my point of view; no doubt if I had looked hard enough I could have found more favourable research but why bother. Despite my son's dire warnings, Robbie and I are very different people and that is exactly how it is going to stay. Just in case those researchers are right, we will be the exception that proves the rule!!

Wednesday 4 April 2012

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm - Winston Churchill


It is time to admit that I am a failure, I know that because Robbie told me so loud and clear. I picked him up when I finished work yesterday evening so it was passed 9pm when we got home. The cats were not impressed, they are very good at telling the time (thanks to Robbie's efforts) and they knew that their dinner was late. The loudest complaints were coming from Shadow the guinea pig. I am not aware that Robbie has been actively teaching Shadow to tell the time, perhaps guinea pigs have an innate sense of time or perhaps she just loves to eat whatever the time.


Robbie and the cats disappeared into the kitchen; it was hard to work out if he was feeding them or trying to extend their vocabulary! A little later Robbie emerged from the kitchen holding a plastic bag with a few flecks of green in it. The clues were there, the expression, the hand on the hip, not to mention the expletives from the kitchen - he was not a happy chap. The plastic bag had once contained curly kale, but except for tiny traces of green it was now empty. He waved the bag at me and said "now what am I going to do?". It took me a moment to compose my features because there was something vaguely ridiculous about Robbie who is not noted for his love of 'greens' getting so upset about a deficiency in the curly kale department. Before I could say anything he said "what am I going to say to the guinea pig". I took a deep breath and said that we had other greens, carrots and apples as well as her dried food and hay, so it was unlikely that she would starve. Unbelievably he walked over to the guinea pig to show her the empty bag and to apologise on my behalf for running out of curly kale. I don't think she took too much notice, she was too busy tucking into an apple and her dried food. 


As soon as I finished work today I dashed to the supermarket and we now have an ample supply of curly kale. After all I don't want the guinea pig to think that I'm a failure!

A Bit Fishy

Robbie has been in the doghouse! I have been trying to think of something good to say about him, but I was too cross to be objective. The best I can come up with is that he is brave. He certainly likes to live dangerously, he told me that I had a face like a trout! I have never claimed to be a great beauty, but I was not impressed by his unkind words. I was very tempted to ask him if he had looked in a mirror lately, but as the saying goes 'least said soonest mended'. If he was in that sort of mood I wasn't going to bother talking to him so we had a very quiet evening on Monday.


By Tuesday evening he wanted to say sorry but he has never quite grasped the concept 'when in a hole stop digging'. He tried to be extra nice and extra chatty in the hope that I had forgotten what he said - I hadn't! I reminded him what he said and he told me that he was sorry. If he had stopped at that point he may have been okay but he went on to say that I didn't really look like a trout, it was just my mouth that was trout like! I was driving at the time so he survived unscathed - but still unforgiven!


As the evening wore on I thawed a bit, life is too short to argue and I rather doubt that he would recognise a trout if he met one! It was hard to stay cross with him as I watched him open and build the new Lego minifigures that I had bought him, the first of series 7. He got a hippy and a galaxy patrol person, he was so excited. I may look like a trout but I still know how to bring a smile to his face.

Tuesday 3 April 2012

It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less by baldness - Marcus Tullius Cicero

I was looking for a suitable heading for this blog post and I couldn't resist this one. Yesterday was one of those strange days when you are more consciously aware of the sorrows of the past that are always with you. If life had been kinder it would have been my wedding anniversary. That part of my life feels so distant now, almost like another lifetime, perhaps that is normal it was a long time ago and I was a different person then, younger of course and full of hope. I can't help remembering and wondering what might have been, but I also feel grateful for what we had and for the time that we shared. I can't change the past, I couldn't prevent Eric's death but he continues to live in our memories. Like it or not life goes on, you can't live in the past but you will carry it with you into the future.


Yesterday was also the 30th anniversary of the start of our defence of the Falklands. Yesterday on television there I saw a lot of programmes remembering the Falklands war and those who died. All these years later their families will still feel their loss as keenly as they did then. I would like people to care as much about those who were terribly damaged by their service in the Falklands. People like a friend of mine who survived, but has suffered with mental health issues ever since. My friend and many like him could not find a way to live with the memories, the flashbacks have haunted him and he has carried the grief and suffering with him every day. For too many, this has led to isolation and a downward spiral. It may be hard for us to understand, but we should care and we should never forget the true cost of war. 

Monday 2 April 2012

White Rabbits

Photo by Fish
When I was a child I was always told that on the first of the month the very first thing I should say was 'white rabbits'. It never really made any sense to me, but apparently this ritual somehow brought good luck. I guess I have never been superstitious, I couldn't imagine how a white rabbit could bring good luck. We had pet rabbits when I was young, mine was black and white female with attitude (all the women in our family are a force to be reckoned with) and my brothers was a big placid white rabbit called Skippy. He was a big softy, he was gentle and he liked to be petted there was just one problem, he didn't like my grandma. Their cages were mounted on the wall one above the other with Skippy on top. My grandma was not very tall (under 5ft) so she had to reach up to Skippy's cage  when she went out to feed the rabbits. Skippy would do a turn jump and urinate on her head every time he saw her. That particular white rabbit certainly didn't bring my grandma much luck and he made life miserable for us too because my grandma had plenty to say about it - we never heard the last of it!


When I began this entry it was my intention to write about a different white rabbit. The rabbit in question appeared in our garden a few days ago much to my son's amusement. He thinks I have some sort of Dr Dolittle thing going on, after all most people don't have white rabbits turning up at their back door uninvited. We still have our feline lodger, she turned up and just moved in and of course Dave turned up as a stray a few years ago. According to the vet 'the lodger' is a probably a long term stray, we haven't been able to find her original owners so we are trying to find a new home for her. Fortunately the white rabbit was easier to deal with, it lived in the road behind us, but it had decided to make a tour of local gardens. Thanks to my son it was caught and returned to the safety of it's own garden. Robbie wasn't at home when the rabbit turned up, but when he heard about it he vowed that if one more animal moves in with us he would move out!