Wednesday 30 April 2008

Off Colour

Last night was so stressful! I am sick of Robbie counting my grey hairs so I decided to use one of those hair colours that washes out after a number of washes. I asked Robbie if he could help me to put the stuff on my hair so that I didn't get it on my skin. That proved to be a big mistake, he was really rough and it hurt so much when he rubbed it in that I was crying out in agony. I can't bear people to touch my head at the best of times and he seemed to be taking a perverse pleasure in my plight, clearly the power had gone to his head. I had to leave the colour on for 15 minutes and Robbie timed it to the second, I really didn't realise that one person could cause so much irritation in such a short time!

When my hair was sorted out I went to bed to calm down and do some reading. I must have dozed off because the next thing I remember is Robbie talking to me and trying to wake me up. I wasn't too keen on being woken and I tried hard to stay asleep, but Robbie had other ideas. He climbed over the bed and trod on my leg, then he put his bedside lamp on, it is like a search light and there was no way I could sleep with that thing dazzling me. He then decided that this was an appropriate time to sit up in bed and eat Minstrels. The noise of him chasing the sweets around his teeth was bad enough but the chomping was intolerable, I threatened him with dire consequences. I thought seriously about sleeping on the sofa but I just buried myself under the covers and I must have dozed off again despite the adverse circumstances. I woke suddenly to find the bed frame being bashed low down on my side of the bed. I found Robbie, naked on his hands and knees looking for an invisible cat under the bed! Words were exchanged and he finally got back in bed and was instantly asleep. Sometimes I wonder how he has managed to survive for so long!

Tuesday 29 April 2008

Feeling Old!

I'm feeling old! I keep blaming Robbie for wearing me out, but I think the cold I had last week has exhausted me. I can cope with sniffles and sneezing, bit it made me ache all over and I alternated between feeling shivery and being too hot. The cold has more or less gone but it has left me with an annoying cough and it has started my asthma off, so I am feeling tired and frustrated. Robbie tries his best to say the right thing but he never gets it quite right, he assures me that I'm not old but rather than quitting while he's ahead he always goes on to say 'well not to me anyway' and that gives a completely different message!!

I had one of those 'end of an era' feelings last week. Laura had her last ever lesson at the music centre, she has decided to give up lessons to concentrate on her A Level exams. I have been going to the music centre for so many years that it will seem very strange not to have to go anymore. Laura plays the Saxophone very well and I love listening to her play, but it took her a while to find an instrument that suited her. Emily knew from the beginning that she wanted to play the flute and she went from strength to strength. Laura began with the clarinet, in fact she continued playing the clarinet until last year, but she always longed to play the saxophone. Somehow a music teacher convinced her that she really should play the oboe instead. I remember the oboe phase in excruciating detail, it sounded like a duck being tortured and it coincided with Sam's early adventures on the violin - it was agony! Laura didn't enjoy the oboe and before long she took up the saxophone instead, she must have been playing the Saxophone for about seven years now. All my prayers were answered when Sam gave up the violin in favour of the cornet - a much more tolerable sound! I am not very musical, in fact I am pretty close to being tone deaf, but I know when it is painful and the oboe phase was memorable for all the wrong reasons.

I met my new nephew for the first time on Sunday, he is lovely. They have decided to call him Oliver John, that is quite a relief because my brother wanted to call him Cecil - poor little chap that would have been cruel!

Monday 28 April 2008

Coping Strategies

Recently a number of people have asked how I cope with Robbie, I don't really see it as coping with him, I want to be with him. You could just as well ask him how he copes with me! He is certainly more unique than most, and yes, I admit that he can be downright frustrating, but I think that has something to do with being male. On the whole I am supportive of his interests, after all while he is playing trains or going to gigs he isn't getting into trouble, and he could have chosen far more expensive hobbies. I guess the answer to how I cope with Robbie lies in the blog, when he frustrates me I write about it, it prevents me from beating him to a pulp! He has many good points too, but perhaps I don't write about those things as much - there are limits to what I want to share!

I don't really mind Robbie's railway obsession, we have enough common ground to make it work. I am very interested in history and railway history is fascinating, so there is plenty to keep me interested. I enjoy travelling by train and it is nice to go on journeys together, but most of the time I don't go with Robbie on his days out. I have things to do at home and I would get bored at diesel galas and model rail exhibitions. You have to be certain kind of person to enjoy trundling backwards and forwards over the same stretch of track all day just to travel behind different engines. The one good thing about railway open days is that they make Robbie seem incredibly normal, there are some very odd specimens around. I think it is the sandals and socks that I find most alarming! To be fair most railway people I have met are nice, but however normal they seem they all have that obsessive streak to a greater or lesser extent.

Robbie has mentioned that one or two of his colleagues partners have threatened to write a blog too. I could always offer a spot for a guest blogger!! Robbie showed me the first edition of their staff magazine, it made me rather grateful because Robbie's obsessions are much more normal than some. Imagine having to cope with someone who is so obsessed with bottle openers that his collection has taken over an entire house! At least Robbie can't bring a deltic home!

Robbie's next hospital appointment came through last Friday and typically the date offered was for the week of our holiday. He has managed to change it, but it means that he will have to wait until mid June to get the results of his MRI scan.

Sunday 27 April 2008

Scary Images

The Burgess legs have had their first outing of the summer, on Saturday morning Robbie appeared in the lounge wearing his very loud patterned shorts and a summer T-shirt. He was heading out to the garden to remove a small tree so that we can replace several of the fence panels. He wasn't out there for very long before he returned claiming that it was all done, I think the tree took one look at his shorts and surrendered!

Saturday morning was a rare luxury, it was nice not to have to get up and start rushing around at the crack of dawn. Robbie was tired after his adventures on Friday so when I woke up there was only the radio to keep me company, but I enjoyed the luxury of doing absolutely nothing. Eventually Robbie woke claiming that he needed a cup of coffee before he could face the day. Finally he returned to bed with his coffee and I had his undivided attention or so I thought. It didn't take long before his mind had wandered and he started talking about an interesting article in Model Rail magazine. I don't suppose I will ever change him, but it doesn't stop me trying! Having worked extra hard to get his full attention, I thought I was winning until he suddenly announced that there was a long article about CrossCountry in Modern Railways! I know when I'm beaten so I asked if I could read the article, he wasn't too keen on that because he hadn't finished reading it himself, but eventually he relented. I'm glad I read it, there were some very good pictures of CrossCountry trains and a truly scary photo of Andy Cooper MD of CrossCountry - he looked like a very angry bank manager. The article made a lot of sense and it made him sound considerably more human than his photo would suggest. I'm still a bit of a sceptic about some of the changes that CrossCountry are committed to, especially the removal of the shops on their trains, but I must admit that Andy Cooper puts forward a very convincing business argument for the changes. The whole article made a lot of sense, perhaps it is just my interpretation but I got the feeling the moderate language used to describe the abject failures of Network Rail was a little unnatural.

Over the years my children have got me involved in all sorts of tasks and I have acquired the strangest skills, I still remember struggling to make a lion costume at short notice because Sam insisted on dressing as Aslan for Book Day at school. Until yesterday I had never been called upon to paint a teapot! Emily returned from town with a teapot and explained that she needed to paint a design on the side for her friend's birthday. Apparently her friend wanted a teapot and Emily wanted it to be unique. Emily began the painting but before long I found myself in the hot seat and I spent a pleasant couple of hours painting a parrot on to the side of a teapot. The end result was surprisingly successful and I must admit that I enjoyed doing it, I really should allow more time for my crafts.

Friday 25 April 2008

Timetable Error

Robbie was late home last night because he'd had a very busy day, but he was looking forward to indulging his passion for trains with an 'out and about' day today. Not surprisingly trains seemed to be his main topic of conversation - nothing new there! He even showed me a detailed timetable that he had written for his train journeys today, now that really is sad! He was so proud of his timetable that he insisted that I should take a closer look at it, it was three pages long but it may as well have been in Greek as far as I was concerned. This morning he realised that he had made one basic error which made the timetable pointless - he'd left it at home! I recieved a series of frantic phone calls from Robbie insisting that I dictate the information to him over the phone. It wasn't as straightforward as it sounds, but he seems happy enough now, so hopefully he will leave me in peace to get on with my work!

Thursday 24 April 2008

Robbie the Red Head?

Robbie has been a bit challenging recently. In fact he was so challenging yesterday that I asked him if he liked the idea of having red hair – because if he carried on like that I would be seriously tempted to bury an axe in his head! Network Rail has been annoying him again and when they start messing around with his timetables it always makes him like this. I had to ban him from talking about Network Rail in the end because his language was far from moderate. I guess I should have just introduced a swear box, he would have been bankrupt within an hour. It must be very frustrating to have to deal with Network Rail every day, but when he gets home he needs to learn to forget about it. On the subject of frustration, he gets really cross with himself because his legs have been very painful lately and it makes everything just a bit more difficult. I guess my job is to help him to keep everything in perspective.

Having decided against the axe, I was left with only one way to silence Robbie – to feed him! I made him some Rice Crispy Cakes (one of his favourites) because a couple of weeks ago he had mentioned that he would like some. I also made him some rice pudding because he and Sam like it; we don’t usually have a dessert so he needn’t think I’m going to make a habit of making puddings. He was too cross with himself to be appreciative, the rice pudding was too dry and the Rice Crispy cakes didn’t have enough chocolate – when did Robbie become Jamie Oliver! A frank exchange of views became necessary and afterwards he was considerably more appreciative.

This morning he was running late and he got himself into a mega strop. His world stopped because someone had stolen his pants – why would anyone want them! He was just looking in the wrong place, but that put his whole morning routine out and things went from bad to worse, he spilled coffee on his tie, lost his travel mug - and his temper! I gave him a lift to the station to help him to catch up with himself and he gradually calmed down. He admitted that there is another cause to his frustration – his Model Rail magazine has not been delivered on time! It sounds trivial, but to Robbie it really is a big deal, you should hear him going on about it. I got a smile out of him in the end when he admitted that he has found his own way of cheering himself up – he’s going to a diesel gala at the week end. Well, at least he’s predictable!

Tuesday 22 April 2008

Do You Ever Wonder How Your Mind Works?

Do you ever wonder how your mind works, or whether you think in the same way that other people do. I'm absolutely certain that Robbie's brain works differently - goodness knows what goes on in his head! I used to read the Beezer when I was younger and they had cartoon characters called the Numbskulls who managed the various departments in their man's head. Their antics were always very funny and they often got their human into very embarrassing predicaments. Now that could explain a lot, maybe Robbie has little men in his head!

Anyway, back to the point. Yesterday I was busy working when suddenly I found myself thinking that Rev Awdry (creator of Thomas The Tank Engine) was extremely sexist. Why were all the engines male? Why were the subservient characters and carriages female? and why did he choose such dreadful female names? I wondered what train of thought could possibly have caused those particular thoughts to pop into my head, and I tried hard to think backwards. I had written my blog article much earlier in the day and I had included a photo of the Class 20 from Robbie's trip. I'd noticed that it had a 'face', somehow it reminded me of a character I had seen before, but I couldn't remember who or where. Even when I closed my eyes tightly I couldn't quite make the link so I moved on to other things, but my brain must have continued to work away at the problem. I wrote my other blog about the books I have read and I made a mental note that I still needed to write about the railway history book that I bought last week. After that I got on with my real work and didn't give another conscious thought to trains or books. At lunchtime I was working on something completely unrelated when up popped my thoughts about Rev Awdry and his engine characters. I presume my earlier observation of a 'train with a face' had combined with my thoughts about books and my brain had wandered off at a tangent.

I guess the answer is that the Railway Stories of Rev Awdry are sexist because they reflect the time that they were written when matters of gender, class and even race were treated very differently. I don't know why he chose such dreadful female names, but perhaps it was his revenge on the world for lumbering him with a name like Wilbert! I loved those stories when I was a child and my own children loved Thomas too. I am so glad that times have changed and I it is nice that Thomas has adapted to the modern world.

Eventually I remembered who the Class 20 looked like, it was Rodney Copperbottom from the film Robots. See what you think.

Monday 21 April 2008

Do You Think They Make Straight Jackets for Cats?

Do you think they make straight jackets for cats? After last night they will be lucky if they survive for much longer. I have a really bad cold and I have been feeling like 'death warmed up' so I was glad to finally get to bed on Monday evening. I was so cold, I just couldn't get warm and I struggled to fall asleep. I awoke to feeling cold and confused and aching all over. There was a lead weight where my legs should have been and for a split second I thought I was dying from the feet up but when my brain woke up I realised that George the cat had sneaked upstairs and parked himself on my legs! He was despatched in the direction of his own bed and having regained the use of my legs I snuggled back into bed in search of sleep. I dreamed about rats (I don't know why) then suddenly there was a thump on the bed and I was jolted awake. It wasn't a huge rat with evil intent, it was Oreo was using the bed as a trampoline! By this time I was too shattered to do more than threaten him with extinction, but being male he is a slow learner and he and Dave continued with their boisterous game of tag for what seemed like an eternity in the end I dragged myself out of bed, captured the prisoners and left them downstairs feeling very sorry for themselves. By the time I had settled back to sleep again it was time to get up!

The Wanderer Returns

On Sunday morning I didn't get an early call from Robbie, in fact I didn't get a call at all. In the end I sent him a text and shortly afterwards he phoned, it was clear that he had only just woken up, he wasn't making a lot of sense and breakfast seemed to be the only thing on his mind, so I left him to it and got on with my day.

I had to take Emily back to university and the first challenge was to cram everything into the car, then after a quick trip to the supermarket so that she could stock up we headed off to Leicester. On arrival the first test was to find a parking space sufficiently close to Emily's accommodation, having achieved that goal we then had to carry all her stuff up to her flat on the third floor. They have a lift, but most of the stuff was really heavy and by the time we had emptied the car I had to be revived with a nice cup of tea before heading home again.

Robbie got back in the afternoon and he talked non stop about his weekend, he'd had a brilliant time and he wanted to share every single detail of it with me. He was very impressed with the catering company and he described everything from the food they provided to the T-shirts they wore, he even sent me the link to the company website - typical of Robbie to be impressed by food! Part of the appeal of the rail tours is the route they take and apparently some people chose a tour just because they haven't travelled on that particular section of a line before. Robbie started to tell me every detail of the outward route and he was very disappointed when I told him that I already knew because I had looked on the website. He showed me pictures of the tour that had already been posted on YouTube and he was appalled when I said that Class 20's were not very pretty. With the air of exaggerated patients he explained in great detail that it was the sound that was so special and he then played several clips from the internet to prove his point! I have a feeling he will still be talking about his weekend for days.


Gravy Train Catering Spitfire Rail Tours

This morning we were slightly later than planned and Robbie was delayed further by another 'Incredible Hulk' episode. He tore the sleeve of a third shirt within a week! Twice may be considered a coincidence, but three times is stretching credibility. I suspect he has been plotting to justify buying new shirts, well, if he can't cope with long sleeves he will just have to put up with short sleeves!

Saturday 19 April 2008

Being Prepared

I got at text from Robbie ridiculously early this morning. He was very excited about the rail tour from Crewe to Weymouth and didn't seem at all bothered by the early start. I was less enthusiastic about getting up, but I couldn't stay in bed for long because I had to take Sam to a paintball party. Sam was very enthusiastic about it but I was more apprehensive, I wasn't convinced that the world was ready for Sam to be armed with a paintball gun. I still have vivid memories of my multi coloured garage door after he got a paintball gun from the Gadget Shop a couple of years ago! Hostile Fire the venue for the paintball experience, is in a part of the county that I am not very familiar with, so we had to leave plenty of time in case I got lost. I found it fairly easily in the end and it was a lovely drive through the countryside. Sam had a brilliant time 'under fire' and I enjoyed a very peaceful morning getting my work done.

My mum invited us for a meal at her house this evening, because Emily is going back to university tomorrow. It was a lovely evening and we all came home so full that we will not need to eat for a week. Mum sent Emily home with one of her legendary chocolate cakes to take to university. She is a brilliant cook and her cakes are best of all. The only problem is that she always cooks enough for an army! I wonder if the tendency to prepare for siege conditions develops with age, when I look at her kitchen I am sure she wouldn't need to shop for at least a year. She has even taken 'being prepared' to new limits in the bathroom, there were 16 loo rolls, 4 bottles of thick bleach, 3 varieties of air freshener, 2 spare rim blocks and a choice of three varieties of moist toilet roll. At least they will never worry about running out of anything! My step father David was in mum's bad books for misbehaving at the supermarket, apparently he told mum that she was packing the trolley all wrong - that sounds very familiar! He was trying hard to get back in her good books but he could have saved himself a lot of grief by keeping his thoughts to himself in the first place!

Friday 18 April 2008

Playing Trains

Robbie has abandoned me again. He headed off to work this morning with his weekend bag ready for a weekend ‘playing trains’. He did try not to look too eager to go, but he failed dismally and he darted off into the station like a greyhound. OK, I know that comparing Robbie to a greyhound is a bit if a stretch of the imagination (or pure fantasy) but you will just have to use your imagination.

On the subject of animals Sam asked me a very odd question the other day. Sam has an incredibly wide general knowledge, but I sometimes wonder where he gets his information from. He wanted to know how they got Mr Ed the Talking Horse to move his lips. The Mr Ed television show was before my time so I have no idea how Sam knows about him. That boy could be a genius if he didn’t fill his head with so fascinating (but useless) facts. The answer to his question was that they used to put peanut butter on his lips to get the ‘talking’ movement. When I was a child I had a pony that did a very similar thing if he had jam on his lips (we found out by accident when he took a jam sandwich out of someone’s hand).

I had a very odd encounter with a courier delivery man yesterday. He annoyed me before I had even opened the door because he knocked on the door in such an aggressive manner that my neighbours must have thought it was a police raid! When I opened the door he shoved a box into my hand, I glanced at it and realised it was yet more ‘junk’ from Robbie’s union. The man then demanded to know my name and address; it left me speechless for a moment he was standing on my doorstep and the number is on the front door, surely his one brain cell could work out my address. I told him that I would willingly sign his machine, but I was not prepared to give him any personal information. Usually they give you their little machine to sign and print your name, that is no problem but he insisted he had to fill it in and it all felt very odd so I refused. Robbie and I don’t have the same surname, and an unsolicited pile of papers from his union does not give anyone the right to demand my personal information. The man got really aggressive so I gave him the package back and shut the door on him. It was a very odd encounter and it still doesn’t feel quite right

Thursday 17 April 2008

Bird Watching

Robbie managed to get home on time yesterday so finally able to get the tyre pressure and all the other car related jobs done. Not only did he get home on time, he also managed a whole day without tearing his shirt or damaging anything else, so that was a bit of an achievement by recent standards!

Emily Laura and Sam are going to London today so I was looking forward to a relatively quiet day to get on with my work, but things aren't looking good so far. Sam and I have had the usual battle about what he will wear and this has resulted in a bit of a strop from Sam. He favours the 'unironed' look, while I demand a minimum standard of basic hygiene and appearance, so it is always a bit of a challenge to find an acceptable compromise. Teenage boys really are unfathomable! Oreo is in one of those mischievous moods and he is already driving me mad. He has been charging around the house playing with an elastic hair band, it is hard to believe one young cat can create so much devastation. He played skittles with one of my vases and he knocked over a whole pile of ironed clothes, so he isn't a popular chap. He went to sit by Emily's bedroom door and I thought he wanted some fuss from her before she goes back to university at the weekend. I let him in, Emily was still half asleep but she soon woke up because Oreo wanted to use her window for a spot of bird watching, so he stood on her head to look through the window!!

Wednesday 16 April 2008

Watching the World Go By

You know when you see cartoon characters with steam coming out of their ears - I know exactly how they feel! Robbie and I were going to the garage to check the tyres and to do all those routine car jobs last night, so I arranged to drop Laura at work and then pick Robbie up from the station. Shortly before I was due to leave the house he rang to say that the line was blocked because a train had failed. He said not to worry because he would only be 35 minutes late. I had to leave as planned in order to get Laura to work on time, so I found myself sitting in the station car park watching the world go by. Whoever it was that coined the phrase 'the sights you see when you haven't got your gun' was probably sitting in the car park at Northampton when that thought struck them. There was enough raw material to keep Trinny and Susannah fully occupied for years! I began to wonder if there is a national shortage of mirrors? Why do men wear brown shoes with black suits? it looks horrible. I saw a so many people with pinstriped suits, striped shirts and patterned ties, have they never heard that 'less is more' or are they just taking revenge on the world? How difficult is it to buy a pair of trousers that actually fits? There seems to be an epidemic of 'ankle bashers' surely people must notice that their trousers are at half mast, it makes them look as if they have escaped from an institution. I know old men have a tendency to pull their trousers up to fasten under their chin, but ankle basher syndrome seems to affect a wide variety of people.

I watched groups of passengers spilling out onto the station, looking hopefully for Robbie among the crowd. He wasn't there. A series of texts detailed his very slow progress, each text ended with the word 'farce' in capital letters. I think it's a man thing, he does something similar when he is loosing an argument, he underlines every statement with the word 'fact'. By the time he finally arrived it was too late to mess around with the car, we had to get home in time to rescue the chicken casserole. Robbie wanted to talk about every detail of his journey and to explain the exact cause of the delay. I wanted to think about anything other than trains, surely I had endured enough for one night, he didn't take the hint and in the end he was faced with a stark choice - shut up about trains or walk home!

Robbie seems to have taken on some 'Hulk' like tendencies. On Monday he tore his shirt on the arm near the elbow, yesterday he tore a second shirt in exactly the same place. I suggested that he should wear that horrible multi coloured striped shirt today, I wouldn't be too bothered if he ripped that one. I suspect this may be a cunning plan to justify more new shirts, but I think he still has more than enough shirts to see him through the next few months!

Tuesday 15 April 2008

Running Late

I nearly had to put Robbie's dinner in the dog yesterday evening, he got delayed at work - again! Just being an hour later throws our whole evening into confusion, it gets very complicated to try to provide the whole family with a meal at the same time, usually there is always someone who has to eat later, it drives me mad.

When he finally got home Robbie got a bit huffy because I had bought myself a book, it was about railway history in Northamptonshire, it's really interesting, but he seems to think that all train books in the house have to be chosen by him. He was bursting to read it, but he wouldn't because he kept stressing that it was my book - what nonsense!

We overslept this morning, I remember waking Robbie up, but he must have gone back to sleep because he was racing around on 'fast forward' trying to get out on time to get his next train. He rang me later to say that he got the train with 2 minutes to spare. I am used to him giving me a detailed account of all his journeys with accurate timing, but it wasn't until this morning that something triggered a distant memory in my mind. Reginald Perrin! He used to entertain the women in his life with mind blowingly boring detail about his daily journey's to and from work. At least Robbie is rather less predictable than Reginald Perrin, but he is irritating sometimes, I have to beg him to stop talking!

Monday 14 April 2008

Tears

On Saturday lunchtime I answered the phone to find Emily sobbing on the other end. It was difficult to make sense of what she was saying and a ripple of fear ran through me, obviously something very bad had happened and as she and Laura were both at work my first fear was that something had happened to Laura. Through her tears Emily managed to tell me that one of her co-workers had died and Emily was so upset by the news that she had been allowed to go home. I dashed out to pick her up and by the time I found her she was a little bit calmer. Karen, had only been off sick for three or four weeks and the news of her death had come as a terrible shock. Emily liked her because she was a bit 'dizzy' like Emily and she was always helpful and friendly at work. She had young children so her death was especially sad. Cancer is such a cruel illness.

The previous day we had been delighted by the news of a new life and so soon afterwards we were reminded of the sadness of death. It is the way of the world, but the pain is especially bitter when someone dies so tragically young. It certainly pushes our own trivial worries back into perspective and it reminds us to make the most of our own lives.

Robbie went to a gig last night, to see The Breeders, so I spent the evening trying to stay awake because I had to pick him up from the station at 12.40am! He still managed to get up for work at 5.15am, but as usual I thought Monday morning had arrived far too soon.

Sunday 13 April 2008

The Waiting Game

On Friday morning I woke very early, I was waiting anxiously and not very patiently for news that my new niece of nephew had arrived, I had been told the evening before that he was on the way and the wait seemed never ending. When my children were little they longed for a cousin and I was just as keen to be an aunt, but I only have one brother and one brother in law and for a long time it looked as if we would not get our wish. I was so excited when my brother in law Dorian and his wife Sara announced that a baby was on the way. My niece Charlotte is seven now and her little brother Jack is two, they are amazing, and my children love their little cousins. I think we had all given up hope of my brother Michael having any children, so when he told me some months ago that Jane was pregnant, my first reaction was shocked silence, but I was absolutely delighted by the news. My brother has been very chilled about the whole thing, in fact he seemed more anxious when his dog Poppy had puppies a couple of years ago, but I could tell that he was really excited about it.

Finally I got the news I was waiting for, I have a new nephew! Mum and baby were both fine, but when I saw the first photos my brother looked a bit shaky, he is not very good at dealing with hospitals and he has always been a bit funny about blood stuff. My brother has been teasing the children by saying that he intended to call the baby Cecil after his favourite artist (Cecil Aldin) so we were all waiting anxiously for them to decide on a name. I didn't need to call the NSPCC after all, the baby is not called Cecil, his name is Oliver John. Emily is very keen that he should have ginger hair (she loves ginger hair), it is not possible to tell yet, but as my brother has ginger hair it is a possibility. I can't wait to see him!


Friday 11 April 2008

How difficult can it be?

What is the problem with thirteen year old boys? For the last three days I have been asking Sam for his laundry and I have encountered every stalling tactic possible. 'In a minute' translates into 'later this week' so I have to ask for the same thing over and over again. He is very keen on his personal space and he hates me poking around in his room, but I always have to threaten to go and get the laundry myself before I get any action from Sam. Last night, three days after my first request, I gave him an ultimatum - produce your laundry within half an hour or I will take up residence in your bedroom. Finally he appeared with a collection of socks and a face like thunder. He dumped the socks next to the washing machine and stormed back upstairs demanding that I should leave him alone. Well, it is a start, but they are just random socks, not pairs. He has two feet, how hard is it to take two socks off in the same place and put them into the laundry basket at the same time? So today I will embark on round two and demand the rest of the laundry, not just the missing socks, but unless my eyes deceive me he also wears pants, PJ's, T shirts and trousers, so there must be plenty more laundry festering somewhere. All this stress just to get his laundry, anyone would think I was asking him to donate a kidney!

Thursday 10 April 2008

Grounds For Divorce!

Robbie scares me sometimes. On Tuesday evening he was watching How to Look Good Naked, he and Sam love watching it, I can perhaps understand why a 13 year old boy would be interested in women taking their clothes off, but judging by the giggles and the school boy banter, Robbie is still very much in touch with his 'inner child'. On the program the woman's photograph was put on one of those huge advertising posters on the side of a building. I was just thinking that I couldn't imagine anything more embarrassing, when Robbie announced that he would love to have a photo of him naked turned into a huge poster like that. As far as I am concerned that would be grounds for divorce! Can you imagine walking out of the station at New Street or Euston to encounter Robbie larger than life grinning down at you in his birthday suit. It would cause mass hysteria with people fleeing in all directions.

Talking of hysteria, there was a fair bit of that going on yesterday evening. Robbie went for his MRI scan, he was very anxious about it and he got himself in to quite a state before the appointment. Afterwards he was very pleased with himself, to hear him talk you would think he had survived torture. I listened for a while, then I reminded him that it didn't involve any pain, nothing was poked, prodded or pressed. I suggested that if he'd survived a mammogram or certain other intimate procedures I would be much more impressed. At least it is done now and he doesn't need to worry about it anymore. We will not get the results for a while as we have to wait for his consultant to contact him.

Wednesday 9 April 2008

Living Dangerously

The fact that Robbie has survived unharmed for 36 years is one of life's enduring mysteries. Sometimes he infuriates me so much that the urge to harm him is almost irresistible. The trouble is that he has no sense of danger, Robbie will 'boldly go' where angels fear to tread. When he got home from work on Monday he wandered into the kitchen to find out what was for dinner, within seconds he was telling me that I was doing things wrong! My warning stare didn't work and when he attempted to tell me how to do something else I couldn't contain my frustration, I stormed out of the kitchen and told him that if he knew so much he could finish cooking the meal himself. I went back a few minutes later because he can't make the gravy, but he was still trying to tell me that his way was the best way. He was standing there in his PJ's and I was armed with a scalding hot jug of gravy, only an act of supreme self mastery on my part prevented me from tipping the gravy straight down the front of his trousers!

Yesterday I played safe and made a chicken casserole so that by the time Robbie arrived home there would be very to argue about. Emily needed a lift so I planned to drive her to the station and then take Robbie home. I made the dumplings before leaving the house, but thankfully I left them on a plate ready to put in when I arrived home and I turned the oven down slightly. When Robbie got into the car his first sentence was to request that I would take him to Staples. I asked if we could do it another day because our meal was almost ready, but apparently it was an emergency - he needed to buy a new pencil! I took him to Staples and I'm please to report that he now has a pencil with lead in it! Thankfully our meal survived the delay.

I went to bed fairly late, I was tired and it didn't take long for me to fall asleep. Sometime later 'Thunder Foot' came to bed. How hard can it be to slip into bed quietly without waking me up? In Robbie's case it appears to be impossible! He thumped and bumped around, talked to me, prodded me, flapped the covers about let the cold air in and worse of all he put the light on just to annoy me. You will not be surprised to hear that it worked! I was furious. Once again I was wide awake and it would take ages to get back to sleep, but within minutes 'Sleeping Beauty' was 'Z'ing away, oblivious of my simmering anger.

This morning I expected a 'sorry' and may be a bit of affection. Instead I was awoken by a searchlight and an inquisition, he was accusing me of stealing his knickers! I was quite insistent that I hadn't touched them but he wouldn't believe me. I was furious about not being believed, we are not exactly talking about the crown jewels here, I don't think there is a booming market in second hand drawers. To add insult to injury he then blamed Sam for stealing them - how ridiculous. If I find them before he does he'd better watch out because every pair will have a liberal sprinkling of itching powder inside!


Just in case anyone is wondering, Robbie went to work fully clothed, including underwear. He had been looking for a specific pair, for some reason or other he had decided that he had to wear that pair today. He told me last night that he had to go on a site visit today and he needed to have a high visibility jacket and safety boots. Perhaps he thought he needed his lucky pants as well!

Tuesday 8 April 2008

The Way to a Man's Heart - Rice Pudding!

It will not surprise you that when not talking about trains one of Robbie's favourite topics if conversation is food. He often talks about his Grandma and the food she used to cook for him, and one day we got onto the subject of rice pudding and how much Robbie loved it. It wasn't one of my childhood favourites, I liked bread and butter pudding, but apple snow was my absolute favourite. They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so I decided to make him a rice pudding. I was really surprised that my children had never come across rice pudding and they had no idea what it was. Laura was unimpressed by the sight of it and decided not to try it, but Sam (who is very picky about his food) absolutely loved it. As expected Robbie enjoyed it too and asked me to make it more often. Emily was out, so she missed the 'experience' and she and Sam have been pestering me to make it again. I still find it hard to believe that the world has changed so much since my childhood that today's young people have never encountered something as ordinary as rice pudding!

Sunday 6 April 2008

He Cant Get the Lead in His Pencil

I have written about Robbie's obsession with pens and pencils many times, He is particularly attached to his propelling pencil and he always carries a little container with an ample supply of spare leads because he dreads being caught out with no lead for his pencil. I assume he uses it when doing his plans and timetables, I have never asked because I'm scared he would tell me - in detail!

Robbie stayed at home this afternoon because he was feeling unwell, but I had to pop out to see my mum for a couple of hours. When I returned he was in a state of confusion because he could not get his lead into his pencil. It seems a broken lead is stuck in it and it refuses to come out. When compared with the troubles of the world this a fairly minor matter, but Robbie has kept up a running commentary all evening on the state of the lead in his pencil. He has operated on it with a fine needle and other improvised tools, but still he has no lead in his pencil and I have no prospect of peace. I am faced with two choices, either I will have to harm him or I will have to go and buy him a new pencil!

Yet More Trouser Trouble!

Robbie's pledge to work on the garden caused a change in the weather - we woke up to find a covering of snow this morning! I can't complain, when he finally got into the garden yesterday he worked hard to tidy it up. He had to go to town on Saturday morning because he had to return his black suit trousers to Marks and Spencers. On Friday he had a 'close encounter' with his zip and now like Grand Old Duke of York the zip is neither up nor down, not the best way to get noticed! Robbie and Sam headed off to town and it seems they disappeared into a black hole because they vanished for hours. Robbie finally returned without exchanging his trousers, they didn't have his size in black so he has to look in Birmingham next week. He said they had a similar suit in beige that would make a nice change. It would be a change certainly, but he must have taken leave of his senses if he thinks it would be nice. He is not a beige person, to borrow a phrase from my mum, you can wear beige when you are dead. In fact he may as well go all the way and get a white suit, like in Randal and Hopkirk (deceased). At least that would add some comedy value!

While in town he accidentally bought another railway book. It is called Traction Recognition, and Robbie sat reading it and making appreciative comments for ages, anyone listing to the commentary would have assumed he was looking at a top shelf magazine rather than 'anorak's' reference book! Finally the procrastination had to stop and he headed out to the back garden to restore order.

Thursday 3 April 2008

High Speed Chase

When Robbie got home yesterday he was very keen to tell me about a link that his cousin Wendy in USA had sent him. It enabled Robbie to guide the cursor and view the road where Wendy lives. It isn't like google earth where you are looking down on the houses from above, it is as if you are driving along the street and you can look at all the houses. Robbie doesn't drive, and he wasn't very good at virtual 'driving' with the cursor either, one minute we were looking at Wendy's house then suddenly we went speeding off down the road into the next road, and the next - we were practically in the next state before he released the cursor! It is an amazing link and it was really interesting to experience, it was like being able to walk down a road in a country that you have never visited. Well, actually with Robbie in the driving seat it was more like playing The Simpsons Road Rage game, but you know what I mean. Robbie said he would look again later when he had more time, I think he wanted to practice his 'driving' skills in private.

I am rather glad there is not a similar site that allows people to have quite such a close look at our house, the front hedge needs cutting and the hedge cutter is still out of action after Robbie last escapade - he cut through the electric cable! We have a gardening weekend planned, Robbie plans to restore order to the back garden and I need to tidy up at the front. I think we will avoid the electrical gadgets for the garden as far as possible!

National Fig Roll Crisis!

Robbie and Laura went to a gig at last night. The group was Blood Red Shoes, they have seen them before so they knew they would enjoy the music. Laura loves going to gigs with Robbie, but she said his singing was a bit on the loud side last night, the observations about his singing led on to observations about his dancing which Emily described as like a child's impression of an aeroplane, I presume it involves a lot of arm flapping. Never mind, at least he enjoys himself! The gig was tinged with a certain amount of sadness because it was announced recently that the venue The Soundhaus is to close because of nearby redevelopment, the result of a potty planning decision. There is a very active campaign to save The Soundhaus and hopefully common sense will prevail in the end.
Save the Soundhaus

When they got home I'd hoped Robbie had a sudden rush of energy and set about extending my general knowledge. Did I know that that there is a national fig roll crisis? No, I didn't and more to the point I am not bothered in the slightest. When that failed to get the desired reaction he changed direction, did I know that the first teasmaid (also spelled teasmade) was gas powered. No strangely enough I have never wondered about that, but thanks to Robbie I now know that Samuel Rowbottom patented it in 1892. As if that wasn't excitement enough Robbie shared yet more tantalising details about teasmaids, the first electric teasmaid was patented by George Absolom in 1933. There is one thing to be grateful for - I will never need sleeping tablets!


Fig Roll crisis
Fig Rolls in detail

Teasmaid facts
teasmade.com

Wednesday 2 April 2008

Bin Wars.

I thought it was about time you were treated to another photo of Robbie in his PJ's! Don't worry there is nothing frightening. I took the photo of him last night, he was sitting in his usual corner glued to his computer with his headphones stuck in his ears. I had been talking to him without response for several minutes before I realised that I was actually talking to myself, he was watching a DVD apparently. I am going to try plugging him in again the next time I can't get a word in, I had almost an hour of peace this evening while he watched his DVD. There is just one drawback, when he had finished watching his DVD he provided me with a detailed (and I do mean detailed!) account of the plot. Somehow he misses the point, if I was interested in the plot I would watch the film myself, but you know Robbie, when he has something to say there is no stopping him!!

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned Robbie's determination to buy a new bin for the kitchen. As you may have guessed it wasn't as high on my priority list. The old one was perfectly adequate but Robbie sneaked out and bought a new one anyway, a very expensive one in fact. Why does something as basic as a bin have to create so much controversy? The existing bin had a swing lid and Dave the cat (who had been a stray before we adopted him) found it very easy to get into the bin in order to scavenge for scraps. The difficulty was that he couldn't get out again and he either curled up and went to sleep in there or he tipped the bin over in his struggle to get out. Robbie insisted that the new bin would be cat proof because it is metal with a press top lid that flips up to give access to the bin. It certainly looks smart - it should do for that price! It took Dave two days to work out how to open the lid, he seems delighted with the arrangement because he can still get in, but the lid stays open so that he can get out again. Robbie hasn't admitted defeat, he now intends to have a 'high rise' kitchen bin to be certain that it is cat proof.

Tuesday 1 April 2008

Peace and Quiet - or perhaps not!

I had loads of work to do yesterday, it involved checking information and dealing with unfamiliar subjects so I needed peace and quiet to get on with it. As you can imagine I find it impossible to get much work done when Robbie is around because he is very distracting. Even when he is trying to be good he can't last more than ten minutes without one of his famous 'did you know .......' monologues. Even when he is not talking to me he talks to himself and that is just as distracting. Yesterday Robbie was safely despatched to work and Sam and Laura had been delivered to school so I hoped for a nice quiet morning to get on with my work but thanks to Oreo (our cat) it turned into the most chaotic sort of day.

Oreo is less than a year old and still quite playful, but usually he doesn't cause too much disruption. I had just settled in front of my computer when there was a clatter in the hall and I discovered a rather sheepish Oreo wearing a new stile in feline bridal attire - my net curtain from the hall window! Liberated from his apparel he scampered up stairs while I replaced the curtain. I settled back to my work, but Oreo, who had been doing a spot of bird watching from the hall window had found a better vantage point at the window at the top of the stairs. It gave him a brilliant view of the flat roof of the utility room and the little puddle where the starlings like to take a bath. Unfortunately for Oreo it involved perching on top of a large plant pot containing an equally large christmas cactus, which I would imagine proved rather a ticklish problem. Before many minutes had passed we had a feline Humpty Dumpty, Oreo and the plant came tumbling down making a horrible mess and ruining a pile of clean laundry that was waiting to be put away.

Finally I settled back to work, and Oreo kept a low profile. He amused himself by stalking his favourite quarry - elastic hair bands! It is comical to watch him chasing and sliding on the laminate floor and such an insignificant little thing can hold his attention for ages. After that he and Dave (the other cat) played a very energetic game of chase and managed to sound like a whole heard of elephants racing up and down the stairs. Eventually peace reigned when they both found a patch of sunshine on the hall carpet, the ideal spot for a cat nap. Oreo was soon up and about again, he decided to investigate the hearth and chimney, but finding that he couldn't get up the chimney he examined the vase standing on the hearth instead. The inevitable happened, his head got stuck and a vase with a cat in it rushed around the lounge in a panic, amazingly both survived unscathed. Even more amazingly I managed to finish all my work.