Sunday 31 July 2011

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.

The words of the Swedish proverb used in the title are very true, but sadly the worries that have been haunting us and prevent me from keeping up with the blog  in recent days cast a very big shadow indeed because the situation has potentially devastating consequences. Robbie has received a demand from CSA/CMEC for payment of almost £17,000 arrears! The alleged arrears date from a period from 1998 to 2001 when he was still living with his ex partner (they even had a joint bank account!) but despite having an open case with CSA (and paying diligently) since 2002 when he and his partner split up, he had never been made aware of these alleged arrears. It is proving almost impossible to prove where he lived in 1998 since even employment records and bank records do not go back that far. The trouble is that CSA do not need to prove the arrears, he has to prove that he doesn't owe it, in the meantime CSA can use all the considerable powers at their disposal to take the money. It is very very scary, we simply haven't got that sort of money so the future looks very bleak. Our MP is helping us, but it is a very worrying time.

Tuesday 12 July 2011

The only way to see a rainbow is to look through the rain.

I had a busy day yesterday and as usual it involved dashing around acting as a taxi service for various family members. Then after all the rushing and urgency I was on my own and I had an hour to myself. I was enjoying the unhurried drive home with only myself to please. I like having time on my own, but it seems to be in those quiet moments that all my niggling thoughts fight for attention in my head, things such as wondering how I will ever afford to fix the roof, concern for the health of a relative, and sadness that our dog is reaching the end of her life. It started to rain, nothing much, but I kept having to turn my wipers on and off. Then when I turned a corner and in front of me was a beautiful rainbow, it was very clear and a compete arc and it remained visible for the remainder of my journey. I can't explain why, but there is something meaningful and uplifting about seeing a rainbow and I felt as if I really needed a rainbow in my life just then.


Earlier in the week one of my friends had said that sometimes she felt as if everyone else is busy with their while she is just fading into the background. In a way I could identify with that, I had to put my career on hold and prioritise care responsibilities for the last few years, and it seems as if my life has been 'on hold' for some time. If only I could put the ageing process on hold as well!! For such a long time my life has been focussed on doing everything I can to support my family that I have almost forgotten how to take a little time for myself. Now things have changed, I have a little more freedom and at last I am able to return to full time work so I need to apply myself to the daunting process of finding a suitable job. Please keep your fingers crossed for me. 


I love the quote that I used as the heading for this blog post, because it sums my life up very well. I believe that the original quote was by Dolly Parton


“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta 


put up with the rain."

Sunday 3 July 2011

Do As You Are Told!

Last weekend Dave (the cat) and I had a nice quiet Saturday while Robbie had a fantastic time on a rail tour to Penzance. By the time Robbie got home I had gone to bed so I didn't have a good look at him until the Sunday morning. Most blog readers will know that he likes nothing better than trotting around in his pants - only in the house, it scares the neighbours if he goes out like that! Anyway I noticed that he had cuts and grazes on his legs and when I questioned him he didn't have a clue how they had happened. Robbie's legs are a bit challenging (rather like their owner!) and what would be a fairly trivial cut for most people can be a real problem for him because things take so long to heal, in fact they often get worse rather than better. So it is hardly surprising that I was determined to bathe the cuts and put some antiseptic on them before they had a chance to go bad. Robbie, who still deludes himself that he is Superman, had other ideas and he was equally determined that his legs would be fine without any attention. I gave up on him because I knew that he would meet his match later in the day, and sure enough he had only been at my mums house for ten minutes before a large tube of Germolene was produced and his legs were duly anointed. The tube of Germolene was sent home with us and Robbie promised to take care of his cuts and grazes. Taking care of his legs has involved me chasing around the lounge armed with antiseptic several times this week and until yesterday he was adamant that he would be fine. Yesterday morning he was forced to admit that one of the cuts was now green and nasty and looking very angry and will need to be dressed to prevent it getting even worse. The problem is that he is going on another rail tour in a week or so and I am wondering how to protect his legs from whatever he managed to scrape them on last time - shin pads seem a bit extreme for a rail tour!