Friday 29 January 2010

Letting the Cat Out of The Bag


As I walked into the kitchen the other day I saw a tail and a rear sticking up out of the bin. Oreo is as passionate about his food as Robbie and he hates the thought that any leftovers may get put in the bin when he would be happy to clear them up. I shouted his name and very slowly his rear end reversed out followed by a thick paper bag that had until that morning contained cat crunchies. It was now firmly stuck over Oreo's head, he reversed around the kitchen at increasing speed but the faster he went the faster the bag pursued him! I was helpless with laughter but eventually I recovered my composure sufficiently and released him from the bag. He shot off to hide from the wicked bin monster - his appetite is bigger than his brain!

Thursday 28 January 2010

"I Just Can't Cope With This"


When I got home after work Robbie appeared in the lounge hands on hips, bottom lip sticking out, with that long suffering expression he reserves for those occasions when someone has failed to do something his way. That thoughtless someone 'someone' usually turns out to be me, but on this occasion the sinner was Laura. Robbie announced that her thoughtlessness had caused him extra work in putting things right. He said "I just can't cope with this". Her crime was that she had washed up and put the plates in the drainer in the wrong order!! According to Robbie she had failed to line up all the plates in height order facing the same way. As far as I am concerned it is a huge advance, at least she washed up!

Tuesday 26 January 2010

You Know You Are Having A Bad Day When ......


Today was one of those one step forward and two steps back sort of days, but the crowing glory of the day came in the early afternoon. Laura had cooked herself some spicy potato wedges for her lunch, but she decided that she was running late for her lecture so she ate a couple and dashed off to university. The first clue that she had given the remaining potato wedges to the dog came when she was violently sick in the lounge. Clues two and three were deposited in the hall and kitchen as I rushed her out to the garden. The worst was yet to come, as I was kneeling on the kitchen floor cleaning up the mess Meg put her head through the cat flap and vomited into the utility room! I give up! She was absolutely fine after that, but it left me feeling rather fragile.

Monday 25 January 2010

Banana Man


I went shopping on Satarday and among other things I bought bananas. When I put the food away I put the bunch of bananas in the fruit bowl on the table in the lounge and I didn't notice the bowl again until Sunday afternoon. I happened to glance across the room and found that the bananas had been tampered with. They had all been seperated and they were sticking up between the apples and oranges at precarious angles. At first I was ready to blame Sam but Robbie announced that he had 'arranged' them - whoever heard of banana arranging!

Robbie's Favourite Advert

My favourite advert is the one celebrating 25 years of Virgin Atlantic. Robbie loves it too but unfortunately it makes him get all nostalgic about Wimpy food and that gets a bit boring after a while. However that is not his favourite advert, his favourite is the CrossCountry advert when it comes on we all have to be quiet (except Robbie who makes little moans of extacy). It is quite good, but I can't work out why it seems to be snowing in the advert, after all when it snows trains usually grind to a halt!

Finally The Day Arrived

Ever since Christmas Robbie has been for Saturday to arrive, I fully expected him to dash off into town for the shops to open, but he managed to restrain himself because he was in a lot of pain. However he did disappear downstairs to look at the website. The reason for his great excitement - the Argos catalogue is out and it is even more exciting than usual (according to Robbie) because they have changed the logo!

Sunday 24 January 2010

Making Life Complicated

Robbie has forbidden me to write about his back - and you certainly don't want me to write about his front! So you will just have to guess why I absolutely insisted that he had to go to the doctors earlier this week.

We are lucky because the doctors at our surgery are excellent, but since Tony Blair messed around with appointment targets a few years ago it has made the whole process of getting an appointment much more complicated. The theory is that it should be possible to book an appointment several days in advance, but every time you try there are no appointments available, so yet again Robbie had to get an 'on the day' urgent appointment. They have a state of the art phone system now, when you ring it tells you where you are in the queue and you have to sit there waiting listening to advice in swine flu and other medical services awaiting your turn to speak to a human being. Robbie started at 29th in the queue so by the time he spoke to the receptionist he had almost lost the will to live. The appointment line opens half an hour before the surgery opens and we live close by so it is usually possible for him to get an early appointment and then I rush him across town to get the train so that he is not too late for work.

He should have gone for a follow up appointment long before Christmas, but he put it off because he had too much work. He makes me cross, this is really silly, if you have a car and don't maintain it properly it will very soon breakdown completely and the same is true of our bodies, if we don't take care of ourselves we can do lasting damage. So why do I have to drag him kicking and screaming to the doctors, and when he gets there why does he have to be so macho and make out that he can cope! I have never known him to be in so much pain before, it is making every aspect of his life more difficult and he really has to stop acting like superman and start dealing with it sensibly.

Thursday 21 January 2010

A Cat Trap


Since Dave found out that he could get on to the top of the fridge freezer we can't keep him off it. Yesterday he was sitting up there on top of a pile of my talking books with his head almost touching the ceiling, looking down at me in a very superior way. I don't want him on the kitchen surfaces and I certainly don't want him up there, but obedience training for a cat is rather like obedience training for Robbie - futile!


I am 5ft and the fridge freezer is 6ft so I can't lift him down, but there are two things that will get him down there from there very quickly, food and the cat carrier. If he sees me opening his food he will be there in an instant and if I get the cat carrier out he will vanish without trace for hours. I have to get up there to disinfect the surface and I plan to sprinkle some cat pepper up there to make the area unattractive to him. Baldric Burgess had a much more fiendish plan to deal with the problem, it involved containers of water among other things. Quite apart from the serious danger of placing water on an electrical appliance, I foresaw other dangers too. I have heard of flying squirrels, but I was not comfortable with the prospect of a damp cat landing on my head closely followed by a pan of water. The plan was vetoed.


This morning I was just in time to see Robbie armed with a tea towel, jousting with the cat; Robbie's language left something to be desired and Dave was swearing back at him. Suddenly Dave lost his footing and tumbled down bringing a shower of cat crunchies and sundry items with him. Robbie scuttled off to work leaving me with a cantankerous cat and a kitchen that looks like a war zone!

Tuesday 19 January 2010

What Goes Up Must Come Down



When I went into the kitchen at lunchtime yesterday I thought I heard a couple of rustling sounds near the fridge. I had a good look at the side of the fridge as we have had intruders before, once a hedgehog came into the utility room through the cat flap and on another occasion a toad came in. I couldn't find any sign of any visitors and I thought I must be imagining the noise.


I forgot all about it until I went back into the kitchen later there was dried cat food all over the floor and something definitely moved above my head. It was Dave sitting on top of the fridge freezer looking down on me. He had got up there somehow and tipped over the very expensive senior version of dry cat food. The package was still on top of the freezer but it was almost empty, as well as having a feast he had showered food down onto the floor much to the delight of Oreo and Meg.

Dave celebrated his second anniversary in November, I can't believe it is that long since he found us. I love that cat so much and even when he gets into mischief I can't stay cross for long. He is an old cat but I hope he has a few more years with us.

Monday 18 January 2010

A Secret Vice

Robbie was unusually attentive on Saturday morning, I knew it was because he wanted to be allowed out to play on Sunday but I decided to make the most of it anyway. Before being asked he got up and went down to make me a cup of tea, when he came back he snuggled down into bed still wearing his glasses and they instantly steamed up. It made me laugh so much, it reminded me of Benny Hill.

On Saturday evening I was busy with my writing work and Robbie was in his corner with his laptop and headphones. He kept making little snickering noises in the style of Mutley (the sidekick of Dick Dastardly), eventually curiosity got the better of me and I went over to investigate. I have discovered his secret vice - he was watching Judge Judy on YouTube!!

Friday 15 January 2010

Not Exactly Music To My Ears

Robbie usually spends some time in the evening sitting in front of his laptop with his headphones clamped to his ears. If I want to speak to him I have to wave my arms in the air to get his attention, it is so frustrating. Even worse is his inability to be quiet, I am glad that he uses headphones because what he calls music doesn't sound very melodious to me. The problem is that Robbie is not the most tuneful person at the best of times and the headphones make his 'singing' completely tuneless. Unfortunately he gets rather carried away with his music and he sits there rocking backwards and forwards and tapping his fingers, I try to ignore it but it is so difficult. The rocking motion makes the low moaning sound (Robbie calls it singing) fade and increase in volume. His singing is not unlike the sound a cow makes, so with the fading in and out it is more like a cow on a swing! Robbie has many endearing qualities, but his 'singing' is more than flesh and blood can stand!

Thursday 14 January 2010

Making Demands

Robbie hasn't mentioned his egg box again - but I did find him staring into the fridge a couple of times! He was late home yesterday so it was after 9.30pm before we sat down with a cup of tea (coffee in his case). He told me that he was travelling east on Thursday, that didn't give me many clues, a trip to Moscow perhaps? I could imagine him in one of those Russian hats! He was actually going to Cambridge, it isn't all that far from Northampton but it is very hard to get there by train and he had to go via London.

The subject of Cambridge cropped up again when we went to bed. At 1.13am Robbie decided to run through every station on his route to Cambridge - whatever happened to counting sheep? I told him that I was sure he had Waterbeach and Ely the wrong way round, Waterbeach was before Ely. Robbie told me that I was wrong and he would prove it, the next thing I knew the light was on and I was all I could see was his rear end as he leaned out of bed to get his railway maps. He sat there thumbing through his books and moaning that we needed an extra copy of Bakers Railway Atlas so that he could keep one by his bed - great!

Finally he gave up on his maps and we settled down to sleep, but just as I was drifting off to sleep he woke me up making unreasonal demands - he wanted me to get him some beef dripping - yuck!

This morning was a rush, but Robbie had time to check his Bakers Railway Atlas and grudgingly he had to admit that I was right! He was not a happy man at all.

Wednesday 13 January 2010

He's At It Again

Robbie has been talking in his sleep again. Early this morning he said something that didn't male sense, so I asked him what he said and he informed me in a very cross voice that he wasn't talking to me, he was talking to the egg box. I asked which egg box, I could only see the back of his head but his tone made it very clear that he was talking to an idiot, he explained that there was only one egg box in the fridge. After that I left him to chat to his imaginary egg box. I really worry about what goes on in his head!

Tuesday 12 January 2010

Full Marks For Effort

Robbie is still unable to to explain who Brenda is, but I have to admire him for trying (he was calling out Brenda in his sleep at the weekend). First he told me that the only Brenda he knew was an elderly lady, the daughter of his late grandmother's best friend. Next he suggested that he must have been watching Dinner Ladies - I doubt it! By then Alice had also cropped up in the conversation, I am sure I just misheard and he didn't say Alice at all, but he did grudgingly admit that Alice was Brenda's mother! His latest suggestion is that they were both characters from Thomas the Tank Engine, as far as I know there isn't an engine or a carriage called Brenda, but I had great fun trying to imagine what sort of engine would be called Brenda. I decided it would be a Class 33, but I will not dwell on that in case I offend anyone unfortunate enough to be 'blessed' with that name. Anyway you have to admire Robbie for trying, if he ever gives up the railways I am sure he would have a very bright future as a fiction writer!

Sunday 10 January 2010

As I Was Going Up The Stair ..................


We were cuddled up in bed this morning when Robbie started talking about Alice. I was confused, who was Alice? Was it another one of his women, a friend of Brenda perhaps? No he doesn't have a harem (as far as I know) he wasn't even talking about Alice. Apparently he was talking about the name of a company that provides road transport for railway locomotives. It is so nice to know that I have his full attention!!


Last night I had to abandon Robbie in the lounge, I tried to wake him up but he was deeply unpleasant. Apparently he woke up a few hours later and he couldn't move because his back was so painful. Eventually he managed to fall from the chair to the floor and there he remained on his hands and knees for more than five minutes. Eventually he managed to crawl upstairs to the bathroom, unfortunately I chose that moment to wake up and walk along to the bathroom. We made each other jump and we both shouted out. It reminded me of that poem 'As I was going up the stair, I met a man who wasn't there'. Robbie was real enough, but he really made me jump. When I got back from the bathroom Robbie was already sound asleep in bed and he was doing Ivor the Engine impressions - I give up!

A World In White



In the last year we have had more snow than usual and it has lasted for longer than usual. It makes our ordinary daily routine so much more difficult and everything takes longer than usual. Often we don't stop to admire the beauty of our snow covered world so here is a collection of photos of snow in and around Northampton.



















Thanks to Sean Grammer for the photographs taken in and around Harleston Firs.

Saturday 9 January 2010

Cabin Fever


There was very little to get out of bed for this morning, we'd had more snow over night and when I was forced out of bed to trundle off to the bathroom I sprinted back to the warmth the bed without delay. Robbie was sound asleep, sound being the operative word, he was making a noise like Ivor the Engine on a bad day. I tried to ignore it, after all he was at least acting as a giant hot water bottle, but he was spoiling my enjoyment of Radio 4, so I tried a little prod but there was no reaction, so I resorted to a swift pinch. He rolled over and made a sound like an old fashioned growling teddy bear the he resumed the distressed train noises.

Prods and pinches only produced more growling sounds so I had to resort to more drastic action, I started to recite poetry to him! To my surprise he enjoyed it, he didn't even seem daunted when I embarked on the The Pied Piper of Hamelin (perhaps because he didn't know how long it was). I took pity on him and stopped when 'the Mayor and corporation quaked with mighty consternation'. Just to be sure that he didn't doze off again I finished off the poetry with Cargoes, for some reason Robbie burst into a fit of the giggles when we got to the 'Dirty British coaster'. At least he was now wide awake and Ivor the Engine was finally silenced.

I had an important question to ask Robbie, I wanted to know who Brenda is? He had called out her name several times in his sleep. At first he looked puzzled then a look of recognition spread across his face. He announced that she was the daughter of his grandmother's best friend and that she must be about 70. I don't know if I was relieved or terrified, I know he has a bit of a thing for older women but that is a bit scary!

I sent him off to make a cup of tea and to think up a better excuse. He obviously needed a lot of thinking time because he vanished without trace, the tea arrived eventually but the promised bacon sandwich became lunch rather than breakfast! When I asked why I had been abandoned he grudgingly admitted that he had been 'suffering from' Cabin Fever - he 'accidentally' started watching a DVD.

Friday 8 January 2010

Waiting For the Boots


The snow is becoming a real problem, the pavements are treacherous and only the main roads have been gritted, so the other roads are like ice rinks you take your life in your hands when you drive. Yesterday I took Sam to see the doctor, the roads leading to the surgery were really scary, but we got there in the end. Sam's severe headaches are caused by concussion, when he was so badly kicked and punched in the head his brain was badly shaken around and according to the doctor it will take weeks for the headaches and other symptoms to settle down. It makes me so angry that those thugs could do that to a younger lad and cause so much pain and upset.


Robbie had a 'man stress' yesterday evening because the Dr Marten Boots that I bought him were delivered while I was at the doctors and I had to rearrange delivery. They will be here today so it is not so long to wait, but he is not the most patient person and he found the hardship of waiting an extra day very frustrating. I wanted to buy him Dr Martens for Christmas but I wasn't confident that I would make the right choice, so I let him choose his own. He spent days looking at the various options and he found it very hard to decide what to buy, but I think he enjoyed the experience.

Wednesday 6 January 2010

Snow Joke!


We had snow showers on and off yesterday, then at about 9pm it started to snow more seriously, we looked out a little later on and found that the world had turned white. Sam is doing a photography project on the theme 'night lights' so he put on his coat and boots and went out to assess the photographic potential of lights in the snow. Robbie wandered off into the kitchen muttering to himself, but I took no notice, I am making full use of my newly aquired deaf ear! I heard the front door open again, but I just assumed it was Sam coming back in, I was wrong. Robbie's inner child had got the better of him again and he had gone out to look at the snow dressed in Dr Marten Boots, a ski jacket and PJ bottoms! Fortunately there was no traffic around due to the snow because a sight like that would have brought the traffic to a standstill!

Tuesday 5 January 2010

A Deaf Ear

My car came back yesterday it looks good but it feels strange driving it after the Nissan Note, I am really going to miss that hire car. I will be glad when the whole car saga is over and done with, it really annoys me to think that one act of total stupidity by a driver can cause so much inconvenience. He pulled out of a parking space without even looking because he was on the phone, I just hope it is causing him inconvenience too!

Robbie was in a terrible state yesterday, he could hardly walk. He admitted that he came to a complete standstill when he got to New Street because the pain in his back was so bad. It took him ages to get to work because he was so slow. I am worried about him getting stranded at work and being in so much pain that he couldn't get home, I don't know how I would manage to get him back.

For months (well years actually) I have been teased by Robbie and the children about being deaf. It turns out that they were right, I went to see the consultant yesterday and the tests have showed that I have nerve damage and I can't hear a range of frequencies in my right ear. There is nothing they can do and a hearing aid will not help, so it is just a case of getting used to it. I have to have an MRI scan just to rule out any other problems but assuming that is OK there is nothing else to do about it. When I told Robbie and Sam about it I didn't expect them to be devastated, but I was a bit hurt by their giggles, I don't know why a hearing problem should amuse them. Oh well, boys will be boys!

Monday 4 January 2010

Not A Good Start

Robbie has gone back to work today after the Christmas/New year break. Unfortunately his back started to play up very badly yesterday afternoon and it got progressively worse. This morning he struggled to stand up and getting dressed and going to work was an act of pure willpower. I guess it took his mind of any other bits that may be hurting, but I worry about him when he is in this much pain because the pain makes him really short tempered and he is likely to be difficult to work with, but there is nothing I can do to make it better.

My car is coming back today, it has been away since 14th December. I just hope the moron who drove into me has had to put up with as much inconvenience! I have had a hire car while my car was away and I love it, it is a Nissan Note and it is lovely to drive, I will be sorry to see it go.

Friday 1 January 2010

The End of an Era

It was all gloom and doom in our house this evening as David Tennant the best Dr Who ever cam to a sticky end and regenerated into a plug ugly wimp. Suddenly Dr Who has lost it's attraction, I don't think I will bother to watch in future, I would rather watch a cardboard cutout than that specimen. Poor old Emily is devastated, she loved Dr Who and David Tennant is her all time favourite. What a gloomy start to the New Year.

Like A Bear With A Sore ..........

Robbie has still got the John Wayne thing going on, he claims to be feeling a bit better, but he is still walking as if he has lost his horse. He was cross with me for describing his dilemma as groin strain, but I was only trying to be tactful. Anyway whatever the cause and whatever the correct term to describe his predicament I will be marching him off to see the emergency doctor if he is still in pain tomorrow. He is like a bear with a sore head, well not head exactly, but you get the idea.