Pants!

I was so mad with Robbie on Friday morning that I threatened to go on holiday without him. I woke him up as usual and he embarked on his usual morning routine. I only became aware of a problem when I went downstairs and he announced “That's it I can't go to work, I haven't got any pants!” I knew that was nonsense and I went back to the bedroom and returned carrying a pair of his Next trunks. Instead of being grateful he claimed I was trying to injure him because 'I know very well' that that pair chafes him. I'm sorry to disappoint him but I'm really not so interested in his knickers that I know each pair individually! I suggested that instead of ranting he should look more carefully but he stood there rooted to the spot like a naked gnome insisting that I had wilfully deprived him of his pants. He even insisted that there were none of his pants in the house. I can't imagine what he thinks I have been doing with them, if he thinks I am making a fortune selling second hand knickers on ebay he is sadly deluded! The truth is much simpler, they were not missing, he just didn't look properly! It didn't take long for me to reunite him with his drawers, the world looked a little better when Robbie finally put some clothes on, but I was still far too mad to talk to him and he left for work in silence.

I went shopping later that morning and I bought him a new stash of knickers, I'm sure he has enough pairs to last him a month but if it saves me from sites like that first thing in the morning it is worth it. If Eddie Grundy (from The Archers) is thinking of adding a new design to his range of naughty gnomes, I can recommend a very good model!