What is Normal?

Yesterday would have been my 23rd wedding anniversary, but sadly Eric and I only made it to 17 years before he died. It is an odd feeling because I know that he wanted me to move on and get on with life and make things as normal as possible for the children, but I think that part of our lives will always be in limbo. I am not sure that we ever came close to achieving 'normality' as a family and while having Robbie in our lives has been good it certainly hasn't brought us closer to normality. After all Robbie and normal do not exactly go together in fact they are mutually exclusive! I feel so lucky that he is part of our lives and he has been extremely supportive of the children in so many ways, but still the thing I miss most is just being an ordinary family without the complications and the extra dynamics. I really hope that doesn't sound ungrateful because I am extremely fond of my step children and I know that having Robbie in family has greatly enriched the lives of my children, but still there is that feeling of being the only parent and trying so hard to get it right. Teenagers are very free with their criticism, but it is rare for a word of praise to ever pass their lips so it is hardly surprising that parents feel that they are a bit of a let down, and the complications increase when step relationships are added to the equation. Sam's computer is a good example, I have wasted hours over the last few days nursing that thing back to health, but if you believed his rants my only intention was to deprive him of any enjoyment and to isolate him from everything that is important in his life! Are all boys of 14 totally paranoid?