Sock Thieves

He did it again! What is wrong with that man? At about 1.45am I was sound asleep when Robbie came to bed. For some reason he found it essential to stand over me and prod me to ask if I was asleep. Then the light went on and he spent the next ten minutes looking for his socks, muttering darkly the whole time about sock thieves. He's deluded, who would want his socks! I got increasingly annoyed and he became increasingly irritating. Still proclaiming his conspiracy theory, he turned the main light off, climbed over the bed and switched on his side light in order to rummage in his sock drawer. His light was intolerable, it is like a searchlight and I was furious that yet again he thought it was OK to wake me up and subject me to this sort of torture. Finally he was reunited with his socks, but he refused to turn the light off, he made a big deal about setting the alarm on his phone before very grudgingly settling down and putting out the light. By this time I was furious and ready to harm him, yet again he managed to fall asleep within minutes, leaving me wide awake and unable to sleep. Please, for the sake of my sanity make him understand that waking me up in the middle of the night could be dangerous to his health!