Some Things Are Not Meant to Happen
I don't work on a Friday, or to be more accurate I don't go to one of my jobs on a Friday, but instead I run around like a headless chicken trying to catch up with all the jobs that I haven't managed to fit in during the week. Last Friday was more chaotic than ever because I was getting everything ready for a weekend trip to Plymouth to deliver Christmas presents to my in laws and to my niece and nephew. So by the time I sank into bed I was so tired that could hardly stay awake long enough to set the alarm clock.
Saturday mornings are not designed for getting up early so when the alarm clock went off at 4.30am I found it very hard to drag myself out of bed and even harder to prod 'sleeping beauty' into action. By quarter past six or thereabouts (Robbie hates it when I am so vague about train times!) Robbie, my son and I were safely on board the train to Birmingham New Street ready to begin our journey to the South West.
My son was idly looking through his film magazine when he looked up and informed me that he had something else to add to his Christmas list. He will be 17 just days before Christmas and he has a keen interest in clothes, fashion and grooming products. As I have mentioned in previous posts, he has his own particular style. He likes skinny chinos, polo shirts, bow ties, shoes of all kinds and just like Robbie he has a passion for bags, rucksacks and wallets. I thought that the new item for his wish list would be clothing of some sort but I was almost speechless when he told me that he wanted a onesie! I asked if he was serious and he patiently explained that they are very popular this year. He wants a black one with a skeleton design, he is tall and thin, but even so I can't imagine that a onesie will be very flattering. He told me about some of the other designs he has seen recently including one with a Superman theme, a tiger, a cat, a panda and a devil as well as some more 'ordinary' designs.
I was just getting used to the idea of a skeleton wandering around the house when Robbie dropped his bombshell. He had been listening to our conversation and he also wants a onesie! There are some things, such as me having my belly button pierced, that are just not meant to happen. Robbie in a onesie really has to be one of those things that should never happen. All sorts of images flashed through my mind from Dell Boy dressed as Batman to a middle aged Andy Pandy! Life is challenging enough already and having Robbie trotting around the house in a onesie (and no doubt attempting to go outside in it) is more than I can cope with!
Robbie - by Sam
Robbie is a bit weird in some ways. He is very interested in clothes but he is really retro like he is stuck in the 80's. His favourite clothes are PJ bottoms, he calls them 'lounge wear' and he wears them all the time at home if he can get away with it. Mum makes him wear a T shirt with it because he is not allowed to eat meals without a top on, she says he is worse than Stan Ogden, but I don't know who he is (I expect he is dead, most people that she talks about are dead). Robbie also likes wearing the T shirts that he buys at gigs, but sometimes mum says "you can't go outside wearing that or you will get arrested" he tries to argue but he always has to change. There is a T shirt that he really wants but mum won't him buy it because she says it is blasphemous, that makes Robbie laugh, then we all laugh and mum gets cross. He likes big patterns and bright colours, you should see the shorts that he wears on the beach, they are very loud - just like Robbie really!Sometimes I borrow Robbie's socks and that makes him really mad, and whatever pair I have nicked he always claims they were his best pair! He used to wear boxers but they bunched up and mum said it made him look like Gandhi (that is someone else who is dead, he used to wear a thing that looked like a big nappy). Now he wears trunks (Robbie not Gandhi) and he likes them better because they are more comfortable.Emily says he has a sort of skater style and Laura calls him a 'geek with chic' but I think weird sums it up best. He has a thing about shoes too, he collects them, he loves Dr Marten's and he likes converse too, they have to be bright colours, in fact the stranger the better as far as he is concerned.Robbie eats revolting things like black pudding and dripping, he dips bread in his gravy and sometimes he even eats ostrich burgers - disgusting! Sometimes Emily tells him off for keeping evil things in the fridge, she is a veggie so she gets a bit stressy sometimes.
Robbie is always moaning at me because I am untidy. I am a bit disorganised, but he is untidy too and he never admits it. He puts everything in piles all over the place and he hates throwing things away. He has piles of magazines everywhere and there are trains taking over the house. Just because I don't put my stuff in piles like he does he moans at me for being untidy. Mum moans at him about his magazines sometimes and if she is really cross she calls him 'haemorrhoid man' because of all the piles. That makes me laugh. Robbie helps me with my computer and he talks mum into letting me do things when she says no. Sometimes we watch films together, he knows quite a lot about films and so do I. When we argue mum gives Robbie that sort of look that tells you are in big trouble and she asks him "Who's the adult?" He isn't always good at being an adult because he says he is a toyboy. I am not sure what one is really. Action man is a toy and male but Robbie isn't like him, I don't think Robbie likes action stuff and I don't think Action Man knows about trains. The other boy toy is Barbie's boyfriend Ken and he looks a bit gay, mum says that Robbie has a gay walk sometimes but he is not like Ken. Mum told me that Robbie says he is a toyboy to make her feel old, he doesn't need to bother because I make her feel old anyway, she is always telling me that. Robbie takes me on train journeys, I like that, but I don't see the point in writing down numbers and things like he does. I just like being comfortable on the train with my laptop. We do have lots of things in common. I have to learn not to make people bored by going on and on about Superman and films and stuff. Sometimes mum pretends to go to sleep when I am talking to her. If we ask Robbie about trains we get information overload and mum has to tell Robbie to stop talking because she is losing the will to live. Sometimes when she asks him a question she says she only wants the brief version, but he is not very good at being brief.
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