On Parade?

When we got back from holiday I had so much to write about that I forgot to mention the guard of honour that greeted us. When we first got into the house things were a bit chaotic and it wasn't until I sat down later on that I noticed that there was a line of Lego minifigures standing to attention on top of the unit in the lounge. I didn't think much of it until Robbie commented darkly that someone had been playing with his Lego figures. I thought that was unlikely, when I asked the possible culprits the reason for line up proved rather ordinary. I had asked them to tidy the lounge and they had collected up members of Robbie's mini gang from various places in the lounge and put them all together on the unit in the hope that Robbie would put them away upstairs. I know that Robbie is 'unique' but it feels back to front to have the children telling their step father to put his toys away!

Robbie was late home yesterday so I met him on my way back from work. He nearly burst with excitement when he went to put his bags in the back of the car and he saw that I had bought him a Lego minifigure bag from Toys R Us. His excitement was out of all proportion to the cost of the bag, he even took a photo of it and posted it on Facebook!

Apparently Size Does Matter!

Yesterday evening I was sitting quietly in the lounge doing some writing when I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Robbie was loitering by the fruit bowl for a suspiciously long time. I turned to look and caught him measuring bananas. I really should know better by now, but I couldn't help asking why. He told me that he was selecting a banana to fit into his banana carrier for work tomorrow. I knew this would happen, before long he will expect me to check the dimensions of the bananas in the supermarket, or even worse he will get himself arrested for measuring bananas at the supermarket! When he came home from work today he cheerfully announced that he had been to another department at work to show the women his banana carrier  - I wonder what they thought!

I had some very happy news yesterday, I have a new nephew. He arrived a little early but he and his mum are fine. His big brother who is three had been hoping for a sister and he asked then to take the baby back and exchange it for a girl! I expect he will soon get used to his baby brother. They kept us waiting until today for news of a name, I rather like their choice but my brother seemed lost for words (a very rare event) when I reminded him that he had named his son after my cat! 

Letters are among the most significant memorial a person can leave behind them - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

My dad died over thirty years ago, I was only 6 when he became ill so there were many things that I wish I had been able to ask him but didn't have time to. I knew that he had been in the army during the latter years of the war, I even had a few pictures from that time  but I wished I knew more about what he did and where he went. It was just one of the many things that I thought I would never know. Then completely out of the blue I was contacted by someone who told me that during the war the Post Office in Northampton produced a monthly newsletter called Northampton News sharing letters home from post office workers in the forces or doing war work. My dad had been a Post Office messenger before going into the army and his letters home were among those published in Northampton News. 

The newsletters have been made available as scans, it is hard to read some of them, but I have picked through them and found the ones showing letters from dad, they start in 1943 when he was 17 and go on to 1945. It is a little glimpse of his army service in his own words so it tells us much more than his service record would show.


"On receiving the 'News' yesterday with the first mail I have had for a few days, it woke me to the fact that beside not getting any mail I hadn't had much chance of writing. We have bags of work now with our lads advancing so fast and have very little time to ourselves. I am now in Germany although I am glad to say that much of my work takes me into Holland. It seems to me that there won't be much left of Germany to occupy after the bashing it's had. I thought Caen (Normandy) was bad but it is nothing compared with some German towns. In some towns there is not one civilian left and not a house standing. Not just one or two places like this, but town after town. 


Yesterday I got into camp at 4 o'clock after a week on the road and took my truck into 'shops'. I collected it at 10.30pm. Then first thing this morning I was off again and this letter is being written in one of my few breaks on the road. That's keeping the wagon rolling isn't it?" (early 1945)


The editors of Northampton news must have made a very big difference to to all those people so far from home, but they could not possibly have known what a difference their hard work has made to me so many years later. They have given my dad a voice over thirty years after his death and they have made it possible for him to tell me about himself in his own words. I wish I could thank them, but of course it is far to late for that. I would like to thank David who realised the value of the old copies of Northampton News and not only took the time to scan them, but also made an effort to share them with relatives of the letter writers. It has helped me to understand my dad a little better and I think I have a better understanding of how worried my grandma must have felt. When he joined the army at 17 my dad was only a few months older than my son is now, that is scarily young, she must have been so frightened for him.


'Letters are among the most significant memorial a person can leave behind them.'  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The human voice is the organ of the soul.

Saturday was our first day off since getting back from holiday, we had loads to do but we didn't do any of it so we have a busy Sunday ahead!


We had a nice lazy and quirky Saturday - any day with Robbie ends up being quirky. I didn't wake up very early and it was lovely to cuddle up to Robbie and know for once that we didn't have to rush. Robbie (always a creature of habit) paused during an intimate moment to share one of his random snippets of information. According to Robbie you can only use 420 characters when updating your Facebook status. It left me feeling rather anxious, I don't want every aspect of my life to become a Facebook update!!


A trip to Morrisons proved more challenging than usual. I have done something to my ankle and I was struggling to walk. Thankfully Robbie was walking quite well (but still in pain) otherwise it would have looked very odd with us both limping. We treated ourselves to a meal at Morrisons and in a weak moment I agreed to let Robbie have a curry - I hate curry! All went well until later in the day when he came bounding across the room to give me a kiss. He had scary breath and I sent him off to the other side of the room for the rest of the day.


We still managed to have fun at a distance. Robbie wanted me to listen to a voice message from his cousin in America. They found each other through a family history site and they get on extremely well. I knew what she looked like but until yesterday I didn't know what she sounded like (except for Robbie's very inaccurate rendition of the way she says his name). It was really interesting to listen to her talking about ordinary day to day things, well most of it was ordinary, one or two things were so random that they were worthy of Robbie. Clearly they share a randomness gene, but in her case it seemed much more controlled. One nice surprise was her voice, it was lovely and very easy to understand. I don't know why that came as a surprise, I guess we are exposed to a few scary American accents on television and I just seem to expect that American women either sound like Marge Simpson or Minnie Mouse. Anyway she had a very nice speaking voice and a lovely accent, but I couldn't help wondering what she makes of Robbie's accent. He says that she has no trouble understanding him, I doubt that somehow - but maybe the family connection helps.


'Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning.'  Maya Angelou 

On Target

In a way I had been dreading Thursday morning, what if the unthinkable happened, what would I do then? The problem was that I was not in control, I had done my best or at least I thought I had, but this wasn't about me. All I could do was get on with my morning and wait for the phone to ring. 


At last the phone took pity on me and rang. A rather cheerful voice at the other end informed me that he had passed. He had some very pleasing results and most important of all he had got more than enough to get into the sixth form of his choice. After a huge sigh of relief, I was the proud mum full of congratulations and cross with myself for my moments of doubt.


So why was I so anxious, I don't recall being this nervous when his sisters got their results. He is every bit as bright and able as his sisters, but perhaps not as diligent. The girls were able to continue to the sixth form at the same school, but 'the son who must remain nameless' wanted to change schools. We all agreed that it would be the best option for him, and he had been offered a place at the better school (the one his sisters attended) but he needed at least 8 good GCSE grades in order to take up his place. Perhaps it isn't so surprising that I was anxious, so much depended on his results.


Today I took 'the nameless one' to the new school for a meeting to sort out his timetable and do all the necessary  paperwork before starting school a week on Tuesday. He will be one of only a handful of boys at an all girls school, but I am certain it is the right place for him. It is not always easy for him to cope with ordinary things because of his Asperger Syndrome, but the next couple of years will be very important not just in achieving good A level results but in helping him to become independent enough to thrive at university. 

Fashion is more usually a gentle progression of revisited ideas.

I haven't seen much of Robbie since we got back from Norfolk. On Monday he went to work even earlier than usual and he was late home, then on Tuesday he got me up stupidly early because he was going to Scotland. I didn't see him again until late on Wednesday evening when he got home late in the evening. He did manage to ring me late on Tuesday evening, but it was more of a monologue on the subject of trains than a conversation. When he got home he was fairly talkative, but as usual it was all about trains, except for a brief description of the design of the lift at the hotel he stayed in and a casual mention of the type of fabric used to make the  underwear that is in the sale at Marks and Spencer. Sometimes I just wish that Robbie could be a little more 'normal'. 

I have taken time to spend some time with my son this week (the one who does not wish to be named). I missed him very much when we were on holiday, so on Monday we went shopping for things he will need for school in September. Like me he has a fascination with stationary and pens, so it was fun shopping for all that stuff. When it comes to clothes I find his fashion sense interesting and rather confusing.  According to George Bernard Shaw 'The novelties of one generation are only the resuscitated fashions of the generation before last'. That is certainly true in his case, I feel sure that my dad would have worn cardigans in the early 1960s like the ones that 'the nameless one' wanted! I had already bought some shirts and trousers for him but he wanted a couple of cardigans. I made him wait for those, partly because they were very expensive and partly he has been known to change his mind. He had waited for several weeks and he was still just as determined that they are exactly what he needs for sixth form, so we went ahead and got them. I have to admit that they look much better on him than they did in the shop. I am still not so sure about his trousers, I had just about got used to him insisting on skinny fit, but apparently carrot fit is the must have 'look'. I asked him to explain what carrot fit meant and he said that they are a new interpretation of skinny fit, 
they are are worn loose at the thigh tapering to a skinny ankle. I couldn't help asking why? To me they look very odd with a baggy bottom and the crotch only just above the knees! It certainly doesn't look very comfortable, I just hope that it doesn't give Robbie any strange ideas, he has more than enough clothing fetishes already.



'Fashion is more usually a gentle progression of revisited ideas.' Bruce Oldfield

Travelling Light - or Not!

When we got home on Sunday evening we had lots to do to be ready for work on Monday. We had to get evidence ready to post to CSA the next day and Robbie being Robbie couldn't possibly face work unless he had the correct pants, so we had to deal with several loads of washing. All the essentials were done and Robbie was able to face work with his 'thinking pants' on, but I was just too tired to unpack and put away all our luggage. It had been our intention to travel light, but we were so busy and so worried before the holiday that packing was a bit haphazard. Robbie had taken 48 Tshirts as well as long sleeved tops, jackets and enough pairs of shorts to dress a centipede. Getting them ready to pack was one thing, getting them to all fit back in his draws and wardrobes is still a work in progress! I think by the time I have unpacked and got everything back to something approaching normal I will need another holiday!

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. Ellen Perry Berkele

Returning home from holiday felt like coming back to reality with a bump. We still have the huge cloud of the disputed CSA arrears hanging over us, as well as various other worries and uncertainties, and I really need to find another job. When we walked into the house there was no one there to welcome us, no wagging tail, just a dog shaped space where Meg should have been, I am really going to miss her, she was part of our family.

The cats were doing their own thing, Oreo was at the top of the stairs watching the birds out of the window and Dave was dozing on the sofa, he chose not to notice our arrival. Usually he would come to me straight away, but when I put my hand out to touch him he turned away, making it very clear that he was not happy with me. We had loads to do on Sunday evening, so there wasn't much time to think about Dave, but he managed to radiate disapproval, he was punishing me for going away and leaving him. He kept up the hostility until lunchtime on Monday, then when I sat down with my laptop he came and sat on the back of my chair, then after a little while I noticed that he had moved silently on to my lap and was purring loudly - I had been forgiven!


'For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.' Anon

Homeward Bound

Sunday morning dawned and I woke up much too early, for a while I just lay there listening to the sounds of the sea and wishing that I could turn back time. I wanted to see my son and daughters, but the prospect of returning to the real world with all its worries seemed daunting to say the least. Before long I was busy packing up our last items of luggage and our holiday was well and truly over. There wasn't very much to pack so I took time to take a little walk along the coast path to say goodbye to the sea. I stood for a moment to try to imprint all the sounds and smells of the beach on my memory so that when I look back at my photos I will be transported back to this time in my mind. 


All too soon it was time to leave the bungalow, but we had one last treat to look forward to, Sunday lunch in Mundesley with my mum and step father. It was roast beef, my absolute favourite, Robbie likes it too, but he is not too keen on vegetables, under pressure from me he made a token effort and added a teaspoon full of peas to his plate leaving me to enjoy a lovely selection of vegetables. After a last look around Mundesley Robbie set the sat nav to 'home' and we set off on our journey back to reality. 


The sat nav took us on an interesting and attractive route that was suspiciously like the route we took the previous week when we went to the North Norfolk Railway. Sure enough the sat nav led us to Holt and right past the turning to the railway, we didn't stop but Robbie had time to see the double decker bus that they have. He swears that it was just the way that the sat nav chose to take us, but I am not so sure. I think he has found an application that takes us past as many railway landmarks as possible. We passed level crossings, railway bridges and various other railway related points of interest - next time I will take control of the sat nav!

All Good Things Come To An End

We are not going home until Sunday, but Saturday morning found me packing up most of our belongings and cleaning the bungalow as my mum and step father were coming to start their holiday. Every year i promise myself that we will take much less, but every year we break that promise. We were so busy before we came to Norfolk that packing was a rather hit and miss affair, but how did Robbie mananage to bring 28 Tshirts with him, did he seriously think he would wear two Tshirts every day? In reality he has only worn a handful of his favourite tops, because I have washed them so that he could wear them again.

Finally we were all packed up and the bungalow was clean and shining so we could get on and enjoy the day. Robbie was in a lot of pain and it was making him lose patients with his jigsaw, so I did a bit for him - it is so hard but I was determined that we would get it finished. I didn't do very much because Robbie took over again to finish it, it looked fantastic when it was completebut after taking a photo we had to break it up and pack it away.

we went down to the beach because I wanted to take some photos and as we stood there looking out across the beach a seal popped up directly in front of us, within seconds he was gone again, but for the next few minutes he kept popping up and then vanishing again. Robbie and I watched until he swam away along the coast. It was a very special way to mark our last day in Norfolk.

When we went to bed Robbie got me up to look out of the window at the moon and it's silver reflection on the sea -he can be romantic after all, he just hides it well!! 

Making Demands

The last couple of nights have found me doing something rather strange in the bedroom just to please Robbie - I have been hand sweing his PJs! He has a beloved pair of PJ bottoms that have seen better days but he loves them so much that he wanted me to try to extend their life. Not an easy task, the pocket was hanging off, he had a tear running up one leg and the crotch - well lets just say it wasn't there. I sat in bed sewing and listening to Radio 4 while he busied himself with his jigsaw in the kitchen. After two nights of careful sewing his PJs looked almost as good as new, the things I do for that man, but it was worth it just to watch him dancing for joy to have his PJs back. I was pleased with a job well done, but glad to pack my sewing kit away until next time. Unfortunately 'next time' has already arrived, he caught his beloved pair of shorts in the car door this morning and he can't face life without them so for my next trick I need to work a miracle on his shorts. He has lots of other pairs but it had to be his favourite pair that got torn.

It was a beautiful day today, Robbie had been up half the night working on his next jigsaw, so he didn't get up very early. I didn't mind, it gave me a chance to do a bit of the jigsaw without him chasing me away - it is very hard, I didn't manage to do much. When his lordship was finally up and ready to face the day we drove to Wroxham Barns, it is a rual craft/trendy shopping yard with a very nice little chldrens farm and an old fashioned fairground. We pottered around the shops and I resisted the temptation to harm the very annoying man playing accordion, I gave him a deep and meaningful stare instead and within minutes he stopped playing and vanished - result!!


They have added a model shop since we were last there so Robbie was in his element, I only managed to drag him away when he spotted a shop selling local real ale, he bought a bottle to take home, then he took me to the beer garden where he enjoyed a pint of Wroxham Barns Bitter and a pork pie, while I had a rather nice pot of tea and a sausage roll.

The last couple of nights have found me doing something rather strange in the bedroom just to please Robbie - I have been hand sweing his PJs! He has a beloved pair of PJ bottoms that have seen better days but he loves them so much that he wanted me to try to extend their life. Not an easy task, the pocket was hanging off, he had a tear running up one leg and the crotch - well lets just say it wasn't there. I sat in bed sewing and listening to Radio 4 while he busied himself with his jigsaw in the kitchen. After two nights of careful sewing his PJs looked almost as good as new, the things I do for that man, but it was worth it just to watch him dancing for joy to have his PJs back. I was pleased with a job well done, but glad to pack my sewing kit away until next time. Unfortunately 'next time' has already arrived, he caught his beloved pair of shorts in the car door this morning and he can't face life without them so for my next trick I need to work a miracle on his shorts. He has lots of other pairs but it had to be his favourite pair that got torn.



It was a beautiful day today, Robbie had been up half the night working on his next jigsaw, so he didn't get up very early. I didn't mind, it gave me a chance to do a bit of the jigsaw without him chasing me away - it is very hard, I didn't manage to do much. When his lordship was finally up and ready to face the day we drove to Wroxham Barns, it is a rual craft/trendy shopping yard with a very nice little chldrens farm and an old fashioned fairground. We pottered around the shops and I resisted the temptation to harm the very annoying man playing accordion, I gave him a deep and meaningful stare instead and within minutes he stopped playing and vanished - result!!


They have added a model shop since we were last there so Robbie was in his element, I only managed to drag him away when he spotted a shop selling local real ale, he bought a bottle to take home, then he took me to the beer garden where he enjoyed a pint of Wroxham Barns Bitter and a pork pie, while I had a rather nice pot of tea and a sausage roll. It was lovely sitting there in the sun watching the world go by. We returned via North Walsham to buy a couple of presents and then to Stalham for one or two essentials before returning to the bungalow. We've had a lovely evening just doing our own thing and trying not to think about going back to reality on Sunday. I wish I could make time stand still.

Puzzled

Robbie came to bed very late last night or more accurately I should say this morning, so when I got up he was still in the land of nod - and he remained there for half the morning! He was late coming to bed because he had got carried away with doing his jigsaw of the Flying Scotsman. I am not a jigsaw person but there is something about an unfinished jigsaw that demands your attention and spent a peaceful couple of hours with Radio 4 and the jigsaw. When Mr Sleepy finally woke up he wasn't best pleased, but he hid it well. We went out for lunch at Mundesley which was a nice treat. After that we had a bit of a potter around before heading back to the bungalow. I went for a walk along the beach, but Robbie stayed behind with his jigsaw, he made it very clear that my help was no longer needed. I was very happy out on the beach, I found a wishing stone and I wandered along noticing all the little details that you only notice when you are on your own.

Robbie completed his jigsaw, it looked amazing, now he has the next one out and he is planning to start that later this evening. It has pictures of old Hornby models on it, it looks really difficult but apparently he doesn't need any help! I have really enjoyed today, it has been fun, it is so nice to have to relax without the day to day world crowding in on us.  

My connection to the earth is reinforced through the rhythm of the waves - Mike Dolan

It was another lovely sunny day. I was up before before Robbie and I wandered out into the garden and stood looking over the gate at the waves lapping up the beach. It was a very special because it is rare that I have the time to just stand and enjoy the moment without having to dash off to do something more important. The most precious thing about coming to Norfolk is being able to take time to do nothing and to recharge my batteries.

By the time Robbie emerged to face the day I had already done some washing and hung it out, and been for a walk along the beach. The tide was in so there wasn't much beach but I like to look at the beautiful colours and shapes of the sea washed pebbles and with the sun shining on them they almost sparkle. A percularity of this beach are pebbles with holes worn all the way through, I am not sure why it happens, but when the children were young a friend told us that they were special because the ones with holes all the way through are wishing stones.I still look out for them, I need all the wishes I can find and it brings back happy memories of collecting shells and pebbles with the children.

We were happy to stay at the bungalow to enjoy the sunshine and the luxuary of time, it was a lovely relaxing day. We popped out to Stalham briefly in the afternoon to get milk and a few other bits and bobs and then back to the bungalow to enjoy a nice quiet evening, just us and the bats - they really are amazing. The sunset was amazing too, it looked as if the sky was on fire, there is nothing quite like a Norfolk sunset.

An Impossibly Large Banana

We had a fairly busy day today. After a lazy breakfast we took a drive to North Walsham for Robbie to get his ears lowered. We had a very busy (and worrying) few weeks before our holiday and Robbie just didn’t have time to get his hair cut. His hair looks really nice now, they cut it very well, I hope he doesn’t decide that he has to come back to North Walsham every time he needs a haircut! Since we were there we decided to have a little look at the shops and we found some lovely copies of old railway posters.



Then we drove to Wroxham. It is a rather eccentric place and it is always crowded, but it is nice to see the boats on the broads and it is nice to have a wander around the shops. Nearly all the shops are branches of Roys of Wroxham, Robbie always likes to have a look at their toy shop and when he gets into the menswear department I feel as I will never manage to drag him away. Today he bought a big yellow banana carrier, he seems to have rather grandiose ideas – it would take a formidably large banana to fill that carrier! He also bought some cards with old railway posters on them. We drove home via Tesco because Robbie liked the razor blades that he bought the other day so much that he wanted another pack while they were on offer. He was in so much pain again today, I feel so useless because there is nothing I can do to make him feel better.


It was a nice evening, there was a beautiful sunset and the bats were flying around, I love bat watching when I am here. One flew so close to my head to my head that I thought it might bump into me, but of course it didn’t, they fly close but they never crash. Robbie got really excited when he saw a wind turbine installation vessel, it was called IMP Resolution, and you could see it very clearly through the binoculars.

The sea hath no king but God alone - Dante Gabriel Rossetti

We had a beach day today, it was lovely. The sun was out, there was a gentle breeze and the only cloud on the horizon was the man next door. The sight of him in Speedos (again!) was more like a total eclipse than a cloud but we did our very best to ignore him. The beach stretches on as far as the eye can see, so when we went down to the beach and spotted him in the sea we took a brisk walk in the opposite direction and we found a nice section of beach all to ourselves.

Robbie sat and watched while I wandered around taking photographs. He was enjoying the sun and for the very first time this holiday he allowed me to take a photo of him. He is very unhappy with his hair at the moment because he was so busy before we came away that he didn’t have time to have his hair cut. Hopefully we will put that right in the next few days .


This evening we popped into Tesco for some milk, but Robbie really struggled to walk around the shop, the pain was almost beyond endurance and it has continued to be really bad all evening. He tries so hard not to make a fuss, but you can see that he hardly knows how to move. I wish I could do or say something to make him feel better, but it is usually better to say very little and not to make a fuss, the last thing he wants is sympathy. He will have to go back to the doctor when he gets home, he can’t go on like this.

Every now and then go away and have a little relaxation. To remain constantly at work will diminish your judgement. - Leonardo DaVinci

Robbie had a plan to get up early and drive to North Walsham to catch the train to Sherringham to spend another day on the North Norfolk Railway. All this rushing around to catch trains is getting suspiciously like our normal routine, I would have liked our holiday to have been less 'timetabled' but I guess that life with Robbie means that almost everything is timetabled! I was very pleased when late on Saturday evening he decided that he would rather go out for Sunday lunch than go to the railway. Like Scooby Doo he will do almost anything for food..

It was a lovely sunny day and we had a leisurely morning listening to the Archers and enjoying the luxury of time. By midday we were at a restaurant in Mundsley having Sunday lunch. The vegetables were served in a dish, cabbage, peas, carrots and leeks, but Robbie rejected all of them and tucked into roast pork, apple sauce, roast potatoes, mashed potatoes and lashings of gravy. Oh well, at least I enjoyed the vegetables!

After lunch we decided to go for a drive and I surprised Robbie by driving him to Weybourne so that he could visit the station bookshop. I let the sat nav guide me to Weybourne, it was a lovely journey but there were lots of twists and turns and it was scarily narrow in places. We got a lovely view of a windmill and there were beautiful costal views.

Robbie spent an eternity choosing books and magazines and he darted around taking photos of the trains. He was like a kid in a sweet shop, books, magazines and trains, he didn't know what to do first! We came home with a bag of magazines, books, maps and catalogues, and Robbie has spent most of the evening reading.

Know, first, who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly - Epictetus

Why do I have to wake up at 6am when I am on holiday? The things I do for a quiet life! Robbie absolutely had to go out at the crack of dawn to play trains, so I had to get up and take him to the station. The journey to the station at North Walsham is very pleasant if you have time to get there, but as always Robbie cut it rather fine so I had a stressful drive to the station. All was well in the end, he caught the train and I had a whole day to myself.

We had been promised a nicer day today - so it rained! I wouldn’t have minded so much if it had rained from the start, but it waited until I had hung all my washing out and then it rained. The rain didn’t last too long, before long it was replaced by sunshine, so I was able to get the washing dry after all.

Unfortunately the sunny afternoon brought unexpected perils. The chap who lives next door is rather difficult to like, he is thoughtless, noisy and always so pleased with himself. I have no idea why he feels so smug, perhaps he doesn’t possess a mirror, he has what my mum would call ‘a face to go ratting with’ and the body of a Moomin. I didn’t notice him when he went off for a swim but when he and his cronies came back from the beach the full ‘glory’ of his outfit was unmissable. Somehow he had poured himself into speedos! To add insult to injury he cavorted around the garden in just his speedos for the rest of the afternoon. Honestly, it shouldn’t be allowed, that man is a danger to shipping!

Robbie had to be picked up from the station at North Walsham and he chattered on and on about his day on the railway. I just can’t make him understand that I am not really interested, but Robbie has a knack of giving far too much information and not just when it comes to trains! The main thing is that he’d enjoyed his day. When we got back we had a nice walk on the beach and then a lovely quiet evening, the sea looked beautiful tonight, it was almost silver in the moonlight.

The sea hath no king but God alone - Dante Gabriel Rossetti

According to the forecasts Friday was to be wet and miserable but Norfolk weather has a mind of its own and the ominous dark cloud was chased away by the sun leaving a lovely bright sky. We decided to make the most of the nice day and had a wander around the car boot sale, Robbie bought a cd but apart from that we enjoyed looking at all the goods on sale without giving in to temptation. By the time we had finished at the car boot sale Robbie’s tummy was rumbling so we decided to treat ourselves to lunch at the beach café in Mundesley. There were lots of people on the beach and we enjoyed looking out at the sea as we ate our lunch. To my considerable relief Robbie passed on the onion rings this time, I can’t stand the smell of onion.



After lunch Robbie suggested that we should take a drive to Horsey Mill. It is a nice drive and it takes us past the lighthouse at Happisburgh as well as several beautiful churches and other buildings of interest. Horsey Mill is rather spectacular and Robbie darted about taking photos before his attention was taken by the shop – they had several interesting railway books! We took a gentle drive back towards Stalham so that Robbie could buy supplies for a packed lunch. He was determined to get up at the crack of dawn on Saturday morning to go and play trains – again. I was equally determined that I wasn’t going, but I didn’t mind dropping him off at the station.

Railway termini are our gates to the glorious and the unknown. Through them we pass out into adventure and sunshine, to them, alas! we return - E. M. Forster

The weather forecast for Norfolk told us to expect a heavy rain today so I wasn’t in too much of a hurry to get up, but when I looked out of the window it was sunny so Robbie decided that we should get organised and go to the North Norfolk Railway. Suddenly our life was set on fast forward and somehow we managed to catch the 10.13am train from North Walsham to Sheringham. It is a pleasant journey with some lovely costal views and for a time I was happy to stare out of the window lost in my own thoughts, but after a while I chatted to Robbie about various things. As we pulled into Cromer I sensed that Robbie was not really listening, he seemed to be on auto pilot so I casually mentioned that there was a tiger on the platform, the man sitting opposite looked a bit worried, but Robbie just said ‘yes dear’. I wish he would drag his attention from that blackberry for five minutes!

I enjoyed the North Norfolk Railway. For me the highlight of the day was a visit to the Ladies loo at Weyborne Station. It is a lovely little station, very clean and beautifully kept, it is clear from the many little details that this is a labour of love for all those involved in running this station. The ladies toilets are amazing, very old fashioned with heavy wooden doors, but they are kept spotlessly clean and the walls are decorated with metal posters. The area around the sink is fascinating, like a mini museum, there is a big display case on the wall above the sink filled with all sorts of interesting items and to the side is a display of old money and various other interesting posters. It makes a visit to the ladies a very pleasant and memorable experience.

Robbie enjoyed taking photos, looking at all the stock in their yard and of course travelling on the trains between Sherringham, Weybourne and Holt. His rucksack got heavier as the day went on because he bought a number of magazines from the wide selection of back numbers available at the shop. I enjoyed the views on the trip to Holt and I liked the compartment coaches, it felt like travelling back in time. Robbie wants to go back again on Sunday, I don’t really mind. However if he thinks he is dragging me out to travel behind 47s between Norwich and Great Yarmouth all day on Saturday he can think again, he can go on his own, I have better things to do.

To dare to preserve the randomness of mind which in children produces strange and wonderful new thoughts and forms - Gordon Webber

Robbie has been keeping up his reputation for randomness, this afternoon he asked me if it was true that gooseberries were green. When I told him that they were he expressed amazement and said he had never known that. We have been together for quite a few years now and I am certain that the subject of gooseberries has never cropped up until today, the odd thing is that he went on to tell me that he doesn’t like them!

Robbie showed a marked reluctance to get up this morning, so we didn’t go to the North Norfolk Railway, we went to Cromer instead. Cromer is not very big, but it has two very nice book shops and both have a good selection of railway books so it will not come as a surprise that Robbie bought a couple of books, one was about buses and the other is about British industrial locomotives. We also bought a board for Robbie’s jigsaw, he has brought two jigsaws on holiday with him and predictably both have a railway theme.


This evening I haven’t been able to get two words out of him, he has been busy reading his Bus book and reading bus timetables that he picked up in Cromer. There is no hope when he is not train spotting he is bus spotting and when he runs out of buses he stands at the window with his binoculars spotting ships!

To dare every day to be irreverent and bold. To dare to preserve the randomness of mind which in children produces strange and wonderful new thoughts and forms. To continually scramble the familiar and bring the old into new juxtaposition.

Gordon Webber

It is the false shame of fools to try to conceal wounds that have not healed - Horace

We are on holiday and we should be away from the everyday cares of the world, but the news over the last few days has been so appalling that it has been impossible ignore it. News of the rioting and looting in London and other cities has made me feel so ashamed of my fellow citizens. There really is no excuse for mob violence, they have made people homeless and devastated countless businesses. They don’t seem to care that people have lost everything, homes, livelihoods and jobs are gone and so many communities have been deeply scarred.



Robbie and I have reacted differently, I don’t want to look, I just want to cover my eyes in shame, and Robbie on the other hand can’t stop checking for the latest updates. His work place has been affected, other rail companies have been badly affected, nearby shops have been looted and damaged, big city centre shops have suffered serious damage and normal life has been brought to a halt. I am thankful that we are on holiday because I would be so scared for Robbie if he was at work, it may sound selfish, but because of his spina bifida if he got caught up in any trouble even a relatively minor injury to his back could mean he would never be able to walk again. I just keep wondering why such young children are on the street running wild, what on earth are their parents doing?


Apart from keeping in touch with the news we managed make the most of the day. We went to Mundesley, there were lots of people on the beach despite some rather impressive waves. The highlight of Robbie’s day was a visit to the Beach Café for lunch, their food is excellent and the portions are so generous that even Robbie can’t eat any more. I am making him keep his distance because he had onion rings with his lunch!


We visited Stalham on the way back, we had to pop into Tesco for milk and bread and supplies for our packed lunch tomorrow - Robbie is determined that we have to go to the North Norfolk Railway. Oh well at least there is a nice bookshop there!

Enjoy the little things, for one day you make look back and realize they were the big things - Robert Brault

Today has been a day of noticing small things that I would usually be too busy to notice. To be strictly accurate something not quite so small nearly came to public notice this afternoon, but more about that later.



It was a nice morning, sunny but breezy, not a chilly breeze, a warm comfortable breeze. Robbie had missed his mouth and spilled coffee on his pale lemon coloured T-shirt yesterday, so I soaked it overnight and washed it out this morning. Robbie grumbled when I asked him to hang it out on the line, he was missing the tumble dryer, but having time to line dry clothes is one of the pleasures of Norfolk for me. Robbie spent the morning spotting ships (or perhaps they are called boats I am not sure) from the lounge window while I was fascinated by the t-shirt dancing in the breeze, it was dry within a couple of hours and so and it didn’t even need ironing!

Robbie’s excitement about ship spotting gets a bit exhausting after a while, so I left him with his binoculars and wandered down to the garden gate to look out across the sea. The sky seems to stretch on forever and the power of the sea can’t be ignored even on a fairly calm August morning, but then as I looked down at the rough grass by the gate and I spotted a ladybird scurrying about doing whatever ladybirds do. It reminded me to appreciate the beauty in small things as well as the more obvious things.

After lunch we went to North Walsham in search of razor blades for Robbie. Until now he has worn shorts, but he decided that jeans were the order of the day for a trip to North Walsham. He was dressed and ready to go when he discovered that he had not packed his belt. I thought it would be OK but as soon as we started walking around it became clear that it was only a question of time before his jeans fell down, he kept stopping to hoist them up, but it did no good. We had to buy a new belt to preserve his modesty. Ok I know modesty is not a word that most people would associate with Robbie, but you know what I mean. Even in North Walsham he found time for a bit of bus spotting – he never gives up!!


Robbie took a lovely moody picture of the sea as he walked along the coast path this evening, being here overlooking the beach really makes me appreciate the beauty of the world around me.

'You either get Norfolk, with its wild roughness and uncultivated oddities, or you don't. It's not all soft and lovely. It doesn't ask to be loved.' Stephen Fry

We woke up to a lovely quiet and sunny morning, I felt much better after a long sleep and after a refreshing shower and one of Robbie’s legendary bacon sandwiches I was ready to face the day. I finished off the unpacking while listening to the Archers and Robbie had a shave and shower, then we were ready to go to the local car boot sale. I love car boot sales, but we only go when we are on holiday because we already have far too much junk in our house.



Robbie had very bad cramp in the night and it had left him with a very painful leg, but he managed to walk around the reasonably well. He didn’t want to buy much, just a couple of music cassettes and a book of railway postcards, but he enjoyed searching through boxes looking at old die cast vehicles and various model trains. I bought several cds including Summoned by Bells, the verse biography of John Betjeman, we enjoyed listening to the first part of it when we got back to the bungalow.


It was mid afternoon when we got back from the car boot sale. It was nice to have time to just sit and look out across the sea and enjoy the calm that time away from reality brings. There was plenty to see first of all we saw a life boat travelling at speed along the coast, Robbie went out to take a photo, but his blackberry was not powerful enough so he dashed back for his camera. Then there were two lifeboats and a little dinghy type lifeboat and then he said that there was a fourth boat. I wonder what was going on.

Robbie had only just settled down again when another boat came past, it was fairly close and Robbie rushed out again for a better look. He said he thought it was a customs boat and he came back in to look on the site he uses to identify the shipping in the area. It was a nice relaxing evening, we watched DVDs, and enjoyed the unusual feeling of having nothing pressing to do – I could get used to this!

'The Norfolk landscape sends a shiver through my soul....' - Raffaella Barker

Our holiday in Norfolk had been planned long before our recent woes and despite the huge black cloud of worry hanging over us we decided to go and make the most of the peace and freedom that we always find in Norfolk. These things never work out as planned and before we could pack and get ready for our holiday we had to address the pressing issues that were crowding into our week. Robbie had important deadlines to meet at work, but he also needed to see the GP urgently, and just to confuse matters further he had to take time out of a very busy week to deal with three totally intelligible letters sent by CMEC/CSA which no one dealing with his case could explain. They couldn’t even tell who had sent the letters or why, I in these days of austerity I can’t help wondering why a government agency would send out three different letters to the same person on the same day in three different envelopes and then waste hours of staff time responding to frantic phone calls from intelligent people who are totally baffled by the correspondence. What I wonder has happened to plain English and what on earth has happened to customer service?



Robbie arrived home from work at 11pm on Friday evening; I was tired, frustrated and still packing. Robbie was so tired that he was like a zombie and so challenging that if I hadn’t sent him upstairs to sort his clothes out I might have harmed him! It was heading towards 3am when I went to bed and Robbie was even later because he was dealing with final bits and bobs of work that had to be done before we could go on holiday. I knew that would fall asleep but I was too tired to wait for him, in the past Meg would have woken him up and sent him to bed when she got sick of his snoring, but now he had a stark choice, find his own way to bed or stay put.


The alarm woke us at 6am and ‘sleeping beauty’ reluctantly plodded off to make a cup of tea. Within half an hour I was up, washed, dressed and packing the car. I wanted to be on the road by 8am, but Robbie trotted around in a state of undress and showed a marked reluctance to get himself organised. He still had to finish off some bits and bobs at work and this was delayed further by computer problems. The clock ticked on, 8 o’clock came and went and by 10 o’clock a near naked Robbie was still messing around with work matters and I was finding it increasingly difficult to keep my temper. I finally chased him off to get ready and at 10.50am I went to sit in the car to wait for him, at least I could listen to the radio while I waited. At 11.30am he came out to announce that he was on his way before scuttling back in to do a few last minute jobs. At 12.OO I was parked outside Marks and Spencer’s waiting for Robbie to buy himself a coffee and a breakfast baguette. Then at long last we were on our way.


Considering the late start we had a reasonable journey and made good time. Before we had even left Northampton Robbie did his usual trick of squealing with delight at something that he had seen from the car. This time it was not a train, it was two traction engines in the car park of the rugby club, he was very disappointed that I refused to stop for him to take a closer look. One day he will cause an accident by shouting out like that. I got my own back on him later when I told him that I had caught him out in a bit of mischief (yet again), it is one of the few occasions that I can recall Robbie being completely speechless. He should know by now that I don’t miss much!


We arrived at about 3pm and began the exhausting process of unpacking and putting everything away. I was exhausted and all I really wanted to do was to make the bed and crawl into it, but suddenly we were thrown into panic mode – it seems I had forgotten to pack the coffee! Robbie was very good, he managed not to stamp his feet, but the arms were folded and the bottom lip was sticking out as if he was a sulky toddler. So, before the unpacking was completed we had to get back into the car and head for Tesco in order to find the correct brand of coffee. By then I was far too tired to contemplate cooking, in fact I wasn’t even sure I was awake enough to eat anything, but Robbie’s rumbling tummy led us to the fish and chip shop. I found that I was hungry after all and I managed to clear my plate before sleep finally caught up with me.

There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief - Aeschylus

To say that we have had a bad few weeks would be an understatement, I wrote before about the horror of receiving a bill for close on £17,000 dating back fourteen years and finding it practically impossible to provide evidence from that long ago to prove what Robbie was doing then and that he was not liable for the bill. The worry about the alleged debt has been crushing and the work involved to challenge it has not only been exhausting it has taken over our lives. However other shattering events have made us realise that our troubles pale into insignificance compared to the sorrow that others have to face. A young girl known to one of my children killed herself a week ago. I can only begin to imagine the total desolation that her parents must feel; it is such a terrible waste of a young and talented life, it is so totally pointless that words fail me.

It seems wrong to write about the death of a pet in the same post as the tragic loss of a young woman on the brink of adulthood. I mean no disrespect, but to us the loss of Megan was extremely painful. A week ago I came home from work to find that she was unsteady on her feet, she could walk, but not very well and she seemed to be having difficulty eating – a sure sign that something was wrong. Meg and Robbie were great friends and like Robbie Meg not only cleared her own plate in record time, she would clear everyone else’s scraps! Meg was about nine months old when we adopted her from a rehoming centre; she was a failed sheepdog - because she was afraid of sheep! She was afraid of all sorts of things, but she was a very good natured dog with a passion for ball games - she could handle a football far better than most of the England team! She was about fifteen and very much part of our family, we knew that she would not last forever, but we were not ready to lose her. That evening it became clear that she had suffered a stroke and the only kind option was to have her put to sleep rather than allow her to suffer. We miss her very much, even the cats miss her, but she had a good life and she brought a lot of happiness to our lives. 

'Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole'.