Finding the Magic of Christmas

I often think that we have got it all wrong when it comes to Christmas we get so tied up with buying presents and   Christmas food becomes an ordeal from start to finish - shopping for it, to storing it, cooking it and digesting it! Despite all my good intentions Christmas crept up on me and I was as disorganised as ever. I had been stashing presents away for months, just little things for Robbie, he is a big kid when it comes to Christmas and it makes me so happy to watch him opening his presents. I had been reasonably organised about presents for other family members, our children provide lists now, so that's easy and buying for my young niece and nephews is a pleasure. Finding the money is a bit more of a challenge, but that is the same for everyone. 


The bits of Christmas that I find challenging include getting the Christmas tree and decorations out of the loft, putting the tree up - and tidying up the mess afterwards! Arguing about where best to put the tree and acting as referee in the annual argument about whose turn it is to have their angel on top of the tree this year. The food shopping is probably the biggest headache, affording it, making sure that we have enough food while trying not to buy so much that it will be wasted. It is just such an effort tackling the supermarket, unloading the shopping and packing it into the fridge and freezer. Then I have to cope with Robbie huffing and puffing because the fridge is not packed correctly and things are in the wrong place in the freezer. Last but not least is wrapping, I quite like wrapping up presents but suddenly everything has to be wrapped at once and however well prepared I think I am, I find that someone has 'borrowed' the scissors, or the sellotape - or both!


This year was like every other year,  by Christmas morning I was exhausted and it was a real struggle to get up and join in the fun of present opening, but the excitement of gift giving works it's magic and memories of other Christmas mornings fill my mind, distant memories of my own childhood when Santa always left shiny new coins at the bottom of my stocking. Then there are the special Christmas memories of my own children when they were little. One daughter asked Santa to bring her a sheep - that was one Christmas wish that didn't come true. There was the time when I was filming both daughters singing Christmas carols for their grandma and the little one (age 4) kept stopping to tell her older sister off for singing her part, it was so funny. My favourite memory of my son at Christmas was when he was a shepherd in the nativity play, he was 3 or 4 at the time and he walked up to Mary and Joseph swinging his knitted lamb around by by it's tail!


Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories gather and dance - each beautiful, unique and too soon gone. ~Deborah Whipp

In the end the food and the presents don't matter so much, it is being together that counts, family time taking pleasure in the special people around us. Christmas may be hard work but this year just as every other year, sharing the day with all the people I love made it all worthwhile.

Least Said Soonest Mended

Photo by BJN

Life with Robbie has it's challenges as well as many pleasures and there are many occasions when I struggle to hold my tongue, but as a parent I have a lot of experience when it comes to counting to ten and keeping my thoughts to myself. I am sure my children would say that I nag, but I am careful to choose my battles. My son and I had a bit of a spat the other day, we had arranged to have a pre Christmas family day with my parents and my brother's family. 'The nameless one' was adamant that he had not been told about it and he was not happy about having his routine changed. He came with us and he had a great time, but he was still deeply annoyed about our spat mostly because Robbie had joined in and had told him several times that family comes first. I think what Robbie said was true, but you don't always achieve the best results by stating the obvious and this was one of those occasions when it would have been better to let my son calm down with as little argument as possible. When he spoke to me about it a couple of days later I told my son that I was glad that he had removed himself from the situation rather than making the argument worse. He said "Mum, do you know how often I hold my tongue? I could have written War and Peace with all the words I haven't said to Robbie!" The way he expressed it made me smile but I recognised the truth in his statement. Robbie and I argue more than may be good for us, and I there are times when I give him his answer loud and clear, but I am careful that I don't say anything I would regret later. I don't like the arguments, the making up is fun!

A Railway Rant

Robbie has been really struggling mobility wise recently, in fact at the end of last week he was so bad that he simply couldn't make it to work and he had to work from home. This week it has been a real struggle for him but he has got himself to work. At times like this he has to plan his journey even more carefully than usual, making sure that he travels on a train that gives him more leg room and planning his return journey so that it works well with his bus connections and does not involve an excessive amount of standing around in the the cold. 


Yesterday his train home was running on time, but it was delayed at Rugby to allow a freight train that was running late to go ahead of the passenger train. This caused great inconvenience to the passengers as the train arrived at Northampton 12 minutes late. Meaning that Robbie missed his bus - and at that time in the evening buses are not very frequent. He was forced to walk to the bus station, a long walk when you are in pain, all up hill, and just to make matters worse it was freezing cold and raining heavily. By this time he had missed his connecting bus too, so he had a long cold wait at the bus station. It was passed 9.30pm when he eventually got home, and by then he was in agony.


Unfortunately this issue of a passenger train being delayed at Rugby in favour of a late freight train is a frequent problem for passengers. Robbie expressed his frustration (rather mildly in the circumstances) on facebook. He was met with a barrage of criticism from one person who works for a company which until now I have trusted and respected. Among his various unhelpful comments was a suggestion that Robbie should just put up with it and that he detested passengers claiming compensation because it takes money out of the railways. He also said 'thats the joy of public transport' and 'if you don't like it get a car' I was staggered by his attitude, it makes me wonder how many other people think like that. It certainly makes me wonder if the company he works for shares his lack of respect for passengers! Passengers have paid for a service and they should complain when things go wrong, especially if the same problem happens often. It is the only way to make rail operators understand how much inconvenience it causes and hopefully this in turn will lead to better service. It really isn't about compensation, nothing could compensate for such a miserable end to Robbie's day. If a train is delayed by a tragedy or by problems arising from bad weather that's one thing, and most passengers would be understanding about that, but to deliberately delay a passenger train that was running on time to accommodate a late running freight train has to be wrong. 


I understand that the railway has many customers and freight companies need to make a living too, but whatever the rules say, it is not unreasonable for passengers to expect their trains to be punctual and to expect that consideration will be given to their needs.  

Strange Animal Spotted in Cornwall

Photo by nirutha 

There are many tales of strange animals being spotted around Cornwall, but as this story involves Robbie it is a little stranger than most. For 200 years there have been reports of sightings of a sea monster in Falmouth Bay, known as Morgawr it is said to be over 20 feet long with an 8ft tail, scaly legs and a horned head. There have been sightings of the Beast of Bodmin Moor, a panther like creature since 1971 but it (or more likely 'they') have never been caught. So when Robbie told me that he had spotted a very strange looking animal while watching a television program set in Cornwall I was prepared to believe him until we used the rewind facility, the strange animal proved to be a sheep!! I was incredulous, he may work in Birmingham, but he grew up in a rural area so he must have seen a sheep before. His excuse was that he didn't know that sheep could have different faces!  

Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors. ~ African Proverb

It has been a challenging weekend, Robbie has been reduced to a standstill by his misbehaving legs and other assorted problems. I hate to see him in so much pain especially when there is nothing I can do except let him moan at me, it makes me feel so useless. I really do try my best not to mind when he moans, I know it is just his frustration and discomfort speaking, but I have to confess that he gets his answer sometimes. It is at times like this that I wish we lived next to a busy railway line because then he could time the trains to the second and think up better ways to run the railway instead of interfering with the way I do things!  I try (and sometimes fail) to smile sweetly and remember the words of G K Chesterton 'Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel'. Perhaps being grumpy helps him to deal with the pain.

We didn't put the Christmas tree up as planned because there was now way that Robbie could get into the loft and while I may have been able to get in, I was very doubtful about my ability to get out again. I will ask 'the son who must not be named' to get the tree down - when Robbie is not there to supervise! Daughter number two finally produced her Christmas wish list so thanks to the internet I was able to get on with my Christmas shopping without leaving the house. I have almost finished my shopping for presents, but the food shopping is still looming large on the horizon. We didn't go out except to get a few essential groceries, and a non essential and terribly sinful bread and butter pudding - my favourite! Even when he is not well Robbie still manages to tempt me to wickedness! 

One nice thing about this weekend was that I had time to catch up with writing the blog and I was able to chat online to a friend that I don't get the chance to chat to very often. It is nice to chat sometimes, it helps me to understand people better, it helps to put my thoughts in order and it reminds me to value the things that are really important in life and not to stress to much about the things that don't really matter. Robbie may be challenging at times, he may have his own unique way of doing things and he may have all the sensitivity of a rhinoceros at full charge, but when it comes to the things that really matter he doesn't let me down and I wouldn't swap him for the world!

'There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them' - Sylvia Plath

Photo by Linneabe

A am a bath person, there is nothing I like more Than a long soak in a hot bath while listening to Radio 4. Robbie on the other hand is a shower person, and being a train planner his ablutions are timed to the second and they have to be performed in the correct order! So a leisurely bath is an unfamiliar experience for Robbie, but he was in so much today that he look my advice and plodded off to have a hot bath to ease his pain. I was busy so it was a while before i looked up from my work and realised that he had been gone for a very long time. I listened and it was suspiciously quiet, I could hear the radio but there was no splashing and no sound of movement - and Robbie is never quiet. I rushed to the bathroom to find out what was wrong and I found that he was sound asleep. He had slid down in the bath and his face was only just above water! I shouted at him to wake him up but he didn't even flinch and I was cross with him for scaring me, so I poured water over him, that woke him up! In future he can stick to showers, there is less chance of him drowning in the shower!

I don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could - Orson Wells

Photo by Venteco

I came across the quote above (in the title) recently and I liked it very much because it makes me think of Robbie. It seems to sum him up perfectly, there is a mischievous twinkle in his eyes and you can never be sure that he will not misbehave. Unfortunately it is also true of his legs, even when he seems to be walking well you can never be completely sure that they will not misbehave. Sometimes they stop him in his tracks refusing to move at all, sometime one leg just gives way leaving him in a heap on the floor, but more often than not they just hurt really badly and walking or even just sitting still becomes an endurance test. 
Most people will know that Robbie hates what he refers to as 'green trains' with a passion. They are used by London Midland on his route to work and they simply don't offer him enough leg room to sit for an hour (to or from Birmingham) without unbearable pain. He goes to a lot of trouble to plan his journeys so that he avoids them. He gets up stupidly early every morning just to catch a 'blue train' to work and have a less painful journey. When he can't avoid the 'green trains' he has to break his journey at Coventry and wait for a train with more leg room. It takes such a lot of effort just to make a simple journey and it makes him very tired because he has a very long day, so it is not surprising that I worry about him. I have to be very careful what I say because he hates to make a fuss about his pain or to admit that he struggles sometimes. He will be cross with me for mentioning it, but my greatest fear is of him falling down the side of a train. He says it is just an irrational fear and I am being silly, but it has happened to him before and if it happened again I know he could get badly hurt. 


Yesterday when I got home from work I was very concerned because it was clear that he was in considerable pain. He wasn't exactly walking like John Wayne, more like John Wayne's grandad and every movement seemed to be agony for him. I did my best to help, but the frustrating thing is that there is so little I can do except to nag him to take his tablets. I try my best to tell him to be careful, but he still does as he likes. I admire him for that, he hates to give in, but I am so relieved that he had the sense to work from home today. 

He who has health has hope; and he who has hope has everything ~ Arabic Proverb

I went to the doctors in mid November for my annual review and made the mistake of commenting that I was feeling well and that my breathing was good (I have asthma). The very next day I had a sore throat and started sneezing - typical! I have now had a cold, sore throat and horrible chesty cough for three weeks and I am struggling to breathe. It is just a cold and it is annoying rather than serious, but it turns ordinary life into a real effort because I have no energy.


Putting up with a cold is really not such a big deal in comparison with Robbie who has to cope with more or less constant leg and back pain because of his spina bifida. I know he can be challenging at home sometimes but I think he does remarkably well to remain cheerful, determined and positive most of the time. I feel really sorry for him this week because his legs are misbehaving and he has got my cold, he was burning up last night but he was determined not to miss work, he has some important deadlines looming and he has his Christmas meal today - I hope he is well enough to enjoy it

An Emergency Coffee Cup

Mornings in our house have a nasty habit of starting too early and even when we are up on time (5am) it only takes one thing to go wrong to mess up the whole day. That was the case last Friday, everything was going well, Robbie dressed only in pants and socks trotted into the kitchen clutching his trousers to flick the kettle on before vanishing into the lounge. He emerged 'suited and booted' a couple of minutes later and headed back to the kitchen to make his coffee for the train. He took the milk from the fridge, reached for the coffee and then stopped in his tracks. There was a missing ingredient - his travel mug! Suddenly the tune Yakety Sax began to play in my head as Robbie jumped into fast forward mode (Benny Hill style), darting around the house in search of his mug. It was not there, and now Robbie was running late. I chased him out to the car and drove him to the station as fast as the speed limit would allow. He was devastated, his favourite mug was gone, probably left on the train the night before! He dashed off into the station with just enough time to console himself with a quick visit to the coffee shop before boarding the train. 


Later that morning as promised I set out in search of an emergency replacement mug. I managed to get one just like the missing one, it was the last one in the shop so he was very lucky. Robbie has checked, but the other mug has not found it's way to lost property. Perhaps it got bored with travelling to Birmingham every day - I certainly would!

Some Things Are Not Meant to Happen

I don't work on a Friday, or to be more accurate I don't go to one of my jobs on a Friday, but instead I run around like a headless chicken trying to catch up with all the jobs that I haven't managed to fit in during the week. Last Friday was more chaotic than ever because I was getting everything ready for a weekend trip to Plymouth to deliver Christmas presents to my in laws and to my niece and nephew. So by the time I sank into bed I was so tired that could hardly stay awake long enough to set the alarm clock.

Saturday mornings are not designed for getting up early so when the alarm clock went off at 4.30am I found it very hard to drag myself out of bed and even harder to prod 'sleeping beauty' into action. By quarter past six or thereabouts (Robbie hates it when I am so vague about train times!) Robbie, my son and I were safely on board the train to Birmingham New Street ready to begin our journey to the South West. 


My son was idly looking through his film magazine when he looked up and informed me that he had something else to add to his Christmas list. He will be 17 just days before Christmas and he has a keen interest in clothes, fashion and grooming products. As I have mentioned in previous posts, he has his own particular style. He likes skinny chinos, polo shirts, bow ties, shoes of all kinds and just like Robbie he has a passion for bags, rucksacks and wallets. I thought that the new item for his wish list would be clothing of some sort but I was almost speechless when he told me that he wanted a onesie! I asked if he was serious and he patiently explained that they are very popular this year. He wants a black one with a skeleton design, he is tall and thin, but even so I can't imagine that a onesie will be very flattering. He told me about some of the other designs he has seen recently including one with a Superman theme, a tiger, a cat, a panda and a devil as well as some more 'ordinary' designs.


I was just getting used to the idea of a skeleton wandering around the house when Robbie dropped his bombshell. He had been listening to our conversation and he also wants a onesie! There are some things, such as me having my belly button pierced, that are just not meant to happen. Robbie in a onesie really has to be one of those things that should never happen. All sorts of images flashed through my mind from Dell Boy dressed as Batman to a middle aged Andy Pandy! Life is challenging enough already and having Robbie trotting around the house in a onesie (and no doubt attempting to go outside in it) is more than I can cope with!

All I Want for Christmas Is ................

Now that shopping and all the preparations for Christmas are in full swing I find myself thinking longingly of the days when I the children were little and shopping was so much easier. Back then money was still tight but almost everything wanted could be bought in one visit to Toys r Us, and when they woke up on Christmas morning their stockings were bulging. Now if their wish lists involve more effort in terms of shopping, have a bigger price tag and when the presents are wrapped and tucked under the tree they don't look very impressive, they certainly wouldn't fill a stocking! 

I still have younger children to buy for, three nephews and a niece and I have to admit that shopping for them has been the most enjoyable part of Christmas for me. My niece is 10, very grown up and very interested in fashion, so the main part of her present had a fashion design theme. She also loves reading, so I decided to buy her two books that I loved when I was young. It was hard to choose just two books, but it was very enjoyable to remember so many of the books that I enjoyed as a child. In the end I chose Charlotte Sometimes and Tom's Midnight Garden, both books had a similar theme, the connection between the past and the present. I hope she will enjoy them as much as I did.


My three year old nephew will be getting books as part of his present too. I bought him a set of Richard Scarry books and when Robbie saw them I thought he was going to burst with excitement. Apparently 'Cars, Trucks and Things That Go' was Robbie's favourite book when he was little, so I am sure he will enjoy reading the books with Oliver. The other part of his present also caused Robbie to reminisce, I bought him a Tonka truck. According to Robbie they were much better in the old days, but when he thought I wasn't looking I caught him admiring the new truck which makes realistic engine noises and has a special tool to change the tyres. 


I also caught my son looking longingly at my 5 year old nephew's present. I had chosen Transformers for him because he is car mad and I remembered how much my son liked Transformers. My son commented that it made him feel like adding a transformer toy to his own Christmas list - I wish he would, it would be a lot cheaper and less complicated than some of the things he wants!


It seems to me that part of the pleasure of Christmas comes from remembering the things and the people that made past Christmases special. I wonder what we will remember when we look back on this Christmas?