Timetable Chaos

Robbie was absolutely evil this morning, the shower had put him in a bad mood - it has died! Ge was like a gorilla in a rage, charging around the house thumping and bumping and growling with frustration, not to mention the string of expletives that we were treated to. I can understand him being frustrated but it is not the end of the world, we have plenty of hot water and he can still have a bath until the shower is back in action. When I tried to point out that it wasn't an insurmountable problem he almost bit my head off, but it became obvious what the problem was - it has messed up his timings and thrown his whole morning timetable into chaos! The shower is not quite 5 years old, surely it should last longer than that!

People Who Don't Know Where They Are Going......

I have mentioned before that for many years I had a poster on my office wall that said 'People who don't know where they are going usually end up somewhere else'. It seems that Robbie is living proof that the poster is correct, he went to a meeting earlier this week, but he hadn't checked the venue and he found that he was in the wrong place! Fortunately he wasn't too far away and he was able to get to his meeting, but he has suffered a bit of teasing about it. I hope these little slips don't happen more often now that he is officially 'old'. No, he hasn't had a birthday, but his son Seb, will be 18 next week and that makes Robbie feel very old!

Longing for Normality

I was so angry with Robbie last night that I shouted at him. He didn't have much to say during the evening because he was glued to this laptop. I was busy too and by the time I went to bet at about a quarter past midnight 'Noddy' was dozing with his head resting on the computer keyboard. I woke him up, but I knew that he would be dozing again within moments, so I left him to it and went to bed. I was woken by a thumping and bumping in the bedroom and Robbie spoke to me in a sergeant major sort of voice. What he said was a bit 'out of focus' because I was sleepy, so I ignored him and tried to cling on to sleep. The next thing I knew something sailed past my face and thumped onto the pillow, I don't know what it was but it was intended to wake me up and it worked. Robbie informed me that he had been talking to me and with menace in my voice I asked what was important enough to wake me up. I am used to Robbie, but I couldn't believe the answer - he wanted to tell me that CrossCountry had produced a blow up guitar to celebrate the Reading Music Festival. He had seriously woken me up to talk about a blow up guitar! I did a spot of 'fortune telling' and all was silent until Robbie's voice broke through the darkness to inform me that it was a limited edition blow up guitar. How do I make him understand that I have absolutely no interest in blow up guitars, not even limited editions!!

I thought he would try to be a little more more 'normal' this morning, but he only had one topic of conversation - the pros and cons of the new hybrid FGW season ticket. it almost made blow up guitars seem interesting.

Getting Him Up!

Robbie is impossible - but that may not come as a surprise to many blog readers! The cause of my annoyance this morning is his inability to wake up when the alarm clock goes off. Before we went on holiday a situation had evolved where Robbie has just one alarm clock on his side of the bed and I had three! The were all set by Robbie to the time that he wanted to get up, in fact he had it so that they went off at five minute intervals and he didn't need to get up until the last alarm sounded. It was a lot of nonsence, it woke me but (in fact it drove me mad!) but Sleeping Beauty slumbered on and when I tried to wake him he would call me unpleasnt names.

At the start of this week I insisted that Robbie should have the alarm clocks on his side and take responsibility for getting himself up. He was very reluctant but I insisted, after all he is the one that needs to be up at that time, not me. It is a disaster, on Monday I finally woke him up by throwing the alarm clock at him, on Tuesday he went bask to sleep and called me a 'stupid woman' for making him late and this morning I woke him up five times to ask hin to turn the alarm clock off. He found a number of different ways to tell me to go away and in the end he passed me his mobile phone and asked me to turn it off when the racket was being created by one of the alarm clocks not the phone.

We have a sofa bed in the lounge, it looks as if it will be getting a lot of use!

Pain and Suffering!

When I got home yesterday evening Robbie was nursing and injured finger. He had achieved a variation on a theme, and instead of hopping around with blood pouring out of his foot after stepping on something, he had sliced the top off of his finger instead! Apparently he had put his hand in his toiletry bag to find his razor and came into close contact with the blade. He pointed out countless times that it was his middle finger and he couldn't function without it. He spent the evening making a series of grimaces worthy of a Gurning Contest, and he cradled his hand with the middle finger stiff as if constantly ready to make an ungentlemanly gesture. As they say every cloud has a silver lining and at least the injured finger took his mind of his cold!

I am so annoyed with one of Robbie's colleagues, he has introduced Robbie to a new website that enables you to track ships, to see where they are, where they are registered and a plethora of other facts about them. Needless to say Robbie felt obliged to share his new discovery with me and for several hours he read out countless facts about every ship he came across. I think the creators of the site should market it widely as a soporific!!

Bluebottle Burgess?

Robbie had been warned not to molest the sat nav on the way home, so we had no more foreign languages, but Robbie wasn't bothered because he had found another use for it. He noticed that it shows when the road runs near a railway line and this caused considerable excitement (for him!). His unintelligible grunts, whoops of excitement and expressions of pleasure sounded like a one man remake of the Goon Show, but I'm pretty good at filtering him out when he gets on my nerves.

The state of the house left something to be desired when we got home and I knew the holiday was well and truly over! The girls are very bright, but when it comes to practical stuff they can be totally dense. The milk we left for them had gone out of date and they had bought more, but they had kept the old milk in the fridge, I thought we had gone into yoghurt production! When we poured it away and washed out the bottles it stank, but when asked the girls justified not getting rid of the milk because they didn't want to make the kitchen smell!!

Time To Go Home

All good things must come to an end but we were sad to reach the end of our holiday. Saturday was bright and sunny with a clear blue sky so when we had packed the car and cleaned the bungalow we decided to enjoy the sunshine. We took a walk along the coast to the shop, then Robbie decided to give the car a good wash and I went for a last walk along the beach and paddled in the sea.. I will miss the freedom and thinking space that Walcott allows, but we have to go home and get back to the usual busy routine.

So what will I remember about this holiday? The beach, the seals, the ladybirds and the butterflies of course, but mainly I will remember Robbie's antics. The time when he behaved so badly in Norwich that he was banished to Marks and Spencers, he thought I hadn't noticed that he'd bought an unspeakably hideous tie and hidden it in his underwear draw. It is so loud and so red that it like looking at a party political broadcast! I can guarantee that it will be lost within a week.

Then there was the trip to Wroxham when I was casually looking at skirts while waiting for Robbie to return from the loo. He walked over to me and said emphatically “Er No!” and he shook his head at the skirt. I didn't like the skirt and I had no intention of buying it, but his comment made me so mad that I almost bought it just to spite him. Who does he think he is to give advice on fashion, he is not exactly a role model when it comes to sartorial elegance! With his baggy shorts loud T shirts and converse boots he looks as if he takes his fashion inspiration from Bart Simpson!

On the same day at Wroxham I lost him in the toy shop, he was in there for so long that I almost abandoned him there. He found a vibrating Mr Tickle with a seriously irritating laugh and he was seriously contemplating spending £29.99 to by it. I gave him a look and he grudgingly left the shop, but when I wasn't looking he darted back in to get himself a Playmobil catalogue!

Last Day

Friday rolled round far too fast, and sadly the last day of our holiday was here already. It was another lovely sunny day and I was determined to enjoy the beach. I took my camera with me and took lots of photos as I wandered along the beach enjoying the sunshine.

Robbie came out with me but he was a bit out of sorts and as the day progressed he developed a bad cold. I tried to be tolerant but he refused to take any medication and by the evening he was wandering around like a zombie making terrible sniffing gurgling sounds. He obviously feels rough, but if he took some medication it may help and it would certainly make me feel a little less irritated.

When I was in the garden a butterfly settled right in front of me as if it was posing for a photo, I am so pleased that I had my camera in my pocket. Everywhere is still covered in ladybirds, it is impossible to walk without stepping on them and when you sit down you can see them all flying around, they even crawl all over the washing on the line!

Anyway here are a few last photos of our time in Walcott.

A Dog Called Neville

I am trying to keep my distance from Robbie tonight, he has eaten garlic bread and his breath is terrifying!

A strange thing happened when we went for an evening walk a couple of days ago. We were sitting on a bench looking out across the sea when a woman came past with a very ordinary looking brown dog on a lead. She was talking to the dog and we could tell from the conversation that the dog's name was Neville – I commented to Robbie that it was a strange name for a dog. It makes me wonder if the whole episode was set up by Robbie because the word Neville seemed to set him off, and he began talking about a person called Neville Hill. It took me several minutes to work out that Neville Hill was a place not a person. According to Robbie it is a traction and rolling stock maintenance depot and they just happen to be having an open day very soon. Needless to say Robbie wanted to go and he came up with all sorts of reasons why it would be important for him to be there. I agreed on condition that the word train doesn't pass his lips until we get home. I know he will not be able to keep his promise, but it is fun watching him try!

To Blog or Not To Blog

You may have noticed the survey on the top right hand side of the page asking if after almost three years it is time for me to stop writing the blog. I often wonder if I am just talking to myself and by now everyone must have heard more than enough about Robbie. Anyway here is your chance to express an opinion and if you can't be bothered to answer I will assume that means I should stop writing. Don't worry, I can't tell who voted so you will not offend me!

My Favourite Holiday Photos

In the Sea

It was so hot today that the beach was the best place to be. I loved going into the sea, and eventually Robbie broke his own rule and paddled, and surprise surprise, once he tried it he liked it and he wanted to do it again!

We found several wishing stones on the beach (stones with holes going all the way through them) and I took lots of photos of the beach and of Robbie. I had to make him put his bag down while I took some photos, because he looked like Roy Cropper (from Coronation Street) standing there on the beach with his bag!

I have put a number of holiday photos on the blog and if anyone has noticed that Robbie seems to wear the same clothes on different days. Don't worry, he doesn't smell, I have washed his clothes every day because he and Sam both like to to wear their favourite things over and over again – yet another of Robbie's Aspie traits!

A Question of Time

This is a delicate subject to mention on the blog, but it is one of those situations that either makes you laugh or scream and when Robbie is more 'Robbish' than usual he can be very funny. We were sitting outside looking at the sunset when Robbie asked if I would mind him watching Skins at 11pm, I wasn't that bothered so I said that it was fine as long as he gave me lots of attention afterwards! He looked at me very seriously and said that he wanted to watch something else at midnight but he could fit me in between 10pm and 11pm. He may be a train planner, but if he thinks he's going to have me working to a timetable he can think again!

To Go Or Not To Go.

When I was writing my list of annoying things that Robbie had done yesterday, I forgot to write about the most annoying thing of all. We were driving back from North Walsham along a narrow winding road and my attention was focussed on the road when suddenly Robbie exclaimed “Eh eh eeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh!” at the top of his voice (the noise made by Anne in Little Britain). I hate him making that noise and shouting out like that when I was driving made me call him some unfortunate names!

To continue the car theme, this morning we went to Wroxham and I asked Robbie to set the sat nav for me, he refused because he knew a better route!! I shouted at him so he grudgingly set the sat nav and it gave me instructions in a foreign language while Robbie whooped with laughter in the passenger seat. I told him off for resetting it to Polish and he insisted that he hadn't set it to speak Polish, then as an afterthought he said that it wasn't Polish it was Czech!

When we got to Wroxham I went to look at a big shop called Roys because I wanted to buy a new cd player because my old one is not working very well. I decided on the one I wanted, it was the kind that had a radio and could play tapes and cd's, but Robbie got really upset because he wanted me to have a different one, very similar in price, but not what I wanted. He just wouldn't give up on it, he kept going on and on about why I should like his choice better. I bought the one I liked, but he is still isn't happy!
Despite Robbie's peculiarities we had quite a nice day.

We had to take a walk to the shop this evening because the 'fridge police' had a tantrum in Tesco the other day when I wanted to buy more bacon and he wouldn't let me buy it, but as I predicted we had none left and Robbie wanted bacon. He doesn't like to be wrong, but he had more important things on his mind, he said that we should spend more time together. He then offered to take me to York first class, from Kings Cross on a Grand Central HST. I told him I wasn't fussed and I would rather have the money – he must think I am stupid, I know what is at York. He just wants an excuse to go to the NRM! He then gave me a long speech about us needing to do things together, I agreed but said that I would like to do non train type things and when he asked for an example I said brass rubbing (the first boring thing that came into my head). I have to give him credit for quick thinking because he said fine, he would look into it and find somewhere that we could travel to by train to to brass rubbing – no way! In the end I took pity on him and told him that I would quite like to have a day out on a train, but not on an HST, I want to go on a Virgin Train – he is not impressed.

Itchy Hands!

I'm writing this post for a reason that will become clear later. Even on a good day Robbie can be downright annoying, and on a bad day he makes my hands itch. I have a bad cough at the moment and I have been taking Benylin cough medicine; this morning Robbie had a long debate with himself about the way Benylin is branded and whether or not it has always been owned by the same company. How do I make him understand that I don't care, it eases my cough, that is all that matters to me! I have tried repeatedly to explain to him that he drives me mad when he constantly asks 'why' but he still asks. This morning he asked if I wanted another cup of tea, I replied that I didn't and he asked why. What does he want me to say, it is a matter of personal preference, if I decline a cup of tea it is because I don't want one, it is as simple as that. Surely I don't really need to explain that I have reached my optimum fluid level!

Today we went to North Walsham, we had a look at a couple of shops and Robbie stayed so close to me that I felt suffocated. I picked up a non slip mat for the car dashboard priced at 89p and he informed me that I didn't want that – which made me determined that I would buy it! It was a very different story when he spotted the railway books, suddenly it was OK to spend money – on stuff that he wanted. Then he spotted some Persil washing up liquid and he was very keen that we should stock up, so we had to buy five more bottles.

While we were out Robbie bought and ate a pasty, but Sam and I didn't have any lunch (because we don't like pasties) so I planned to make cheese on toast when we got home. As we got out of the car I mentioned to Robbie what I was going to do and he said “no, you don't want that”. I couldn't believe it, he even offered to make it if I chose something different! I declined and started to make the cheese on toast and Robbie sat watching, telling me not to cut the cheese like that, he even told me how to toast the bread. He then acts all surprised when I get annoyed with him.

This evening I asked Robbie if we could sit down together and watch a dvd or find something to watch on television. Robbie went to look at the pile of dvd's and came back to complain that I had not packed all of his train dvd's. We have 14 train dvd's with us as well as a selection of other dvd's, and if Robbie wanted to bring more there was nothing to stop him doing his own packing. He then decided that Tank Girl was the only thing he could possibly watch and he couldn't understand why I didn't want to watch it. He kept telling me that it was an iconic film. He sat there in his arm chair with his arms folded and his lip sticking out a mile, just because I wouldn't watch his 'iconic' film!

Anyway, I hope that if one day I lose my temper and do him a mischief, someone will remember this post and tell the powere that be that I was provoked!!

The seals were back again today, Robbie saw three of them swimming close to the beach. I stood outside this evening to watch the bats flying around as it got dark, they are amazing!

Robbie's Reply

I suppose its time I wrote another piece for the blog..... This holiday has been exceedingly challenging, not for me but for Christine and Sam, as at times I have been a totally miserable orifice! Despite all that, I have really enjoyed my holiday, especially the 'man creche' - How dare she call the BASTION of English Retail such a name! I love Marks and Spencers!

Every year when we come to Walcott, they have a car boot sale every Friday and Sunday. We love to have have a good forage around all the different stalls, this year I managed to find a cassette version of The Smiths - The Queen is Dead, quite a find these days!

The one thing I really find difficult on holiday is letting go of work, I know some people sometimes think work IS MY LIFE, and in some ways they are right, but this holiday I have actually enjoyed NOT thinking too much about work. Once I get back into it again, it will probably back to normal but with the caveat that I have to balance home life and work life better by a long way!

Ladybird, Ladybird, Fly Away Home.......

Sunday was so hot that I couldn't cope with being in the sun for too long. Sam and I went out in the morning, Robbie had decided last night that he didn't want to come with us, he wasn't in a bad mood he just wanted a quiet morning with his Sunday paper. Sam wanted to go to the car boot to look for books on photography and he found four really good books for next to nothing. We made a quick detour to Tesco to get a few essentials for Robbie and then headed back to the beach.

Robbie and I took a walk along the beach, there were so many ladybirds that it was making Robbie cross. They seemed to be attracted to his bright yellow top (perhaps they thought he was a huge flower!) He was fairly OK about them until they tried to go up his shorts, he took that as a personal insult and after doing an interesting little jig he called the insects some very insulting names! I paddled in the sea, I didn't have the excuse of paddling with children but it was fun anyway, the sea was warm and calm. Robbie sat on the beach and watched, he doesn't paddle, he prefers to keep his feet dry, after all if he got too close to the sea he would risk getting his favourite shorts splashed. Usually I pretend that I'm not with him when he wears his 'extra loud' shorts, but they have their uses, I have no chance of losing him on a crowded beach – however hard I try!

Seals!

Unfortunately Friday ended with Robbie having a massive strop, he wanted to go and play trains on Saturday and I was happy to discuss the possibility because I would have welcomed a peaceful day, but he seriously thought I was going to get up to take him to the station at 6am – no chance!! I did offer to take him later but that wasn't good enough so he stayed at the bungalow in splendid silence with a sulky look and his bottom lip sticking out. He can be totally impossible at times!

It was a lovely day and we stayed at the bungalow to enjoy the beach and the garden. Sam saw three seals in the sea, he came running back to tell us about them, but by the time we got there we could only see one, it stayed quite close to the beach for ages so I was able to take some photos.

Kept At Arms Length

We expected Friday to be dull and showery as predicted by the local weather forecast, but clearly nobody had told the weather what it should be doing and it surprised us with another beautiful sunny day. We went to the car boot sale again just to have a look around, it was fun, but we didn't buy much. Sam bought and ancient camera, he is becoming obsessed with photography and he liked this old camera because it is the box type where you look at a viewfinder on top in order to line up your photo. In typical Sam style, when he develops an interest in a subject, it takes over his whole life and he has to know absolutely everything about it!

We went to Mundesley for lunch, there were loads of people on the beach and it was nice to sit in the café looking out at the beach while enjoying our meal. Robbie's meal came with a pile of onion rings so I will be keeping him at arms length for a few days!!

A Testing Time.

We had a call from Laura this morning, she was bursting with excitement because she had passed her driving test this morning and of course that meant I had to ring my insurance company to add her, so that she could drive the Micra. I am really pleased for her, she has always loved cars for as long as I can remember she has been longing to drive. She will have to make do with the Micra, but perhaps that's not a bad thing, because she needs to take things slowly and carefully.

One of the nice things about being on holiday is doing nothing and today was one of those days, it was sunny and warm and all I wanted to do was to enjoy the beach and the garden. Robbie and I took a walk to the shop, but that was the furthest we went today. It is so peaceful sitting in the garden, all the every day worries seem a million miles away. It was so nice today that Sam was in a good enough mood to let me take his photograph - almost unheard of.

Robbie has been in his element this evening, he is watching train DVD's, but being Robbie he can't just watch he is providing his own commentary and providing all his own sound effects! I bought him a whole set of DVD's about British Heritage Railways, and he has brought his Branch Line sets as well as an assortment of other train DVD's. If he is still feeling deprived of after all that, he also has a stack of railway magazines and every few minutes he shows me a picture or reads an article to me. We did manage to take his mind off trains for a few minutes this evening, there was an amazing orange moon and I had never seen so many stars, so we all went outside to have a look.

A Cheerful Chap?

Would the person who has stolen Robbie and left me with Victor Meldrew please send the real Robbie back, it really isn't funny any more! The day started well, Robbie had been agitating to go to Norwich, so today we got up early and headed to North Walsham to catch the train. The problem started just as we were leaving, he went to the fridge to get the can of coke that he'd chilled over night and he found that Sam had taken it earlier in the morning. I let him rant for several miles, but when he showed no sign of getting things in proportion I had my say. I reminded him that we had two cases of cans and it had been selfish of him to only chill one, if he had chilled several he and Sam could both have one. I also reminded him that we haven't yet become so anal that that we have to put labels on things in the fridge proclaiming ownership of various items. A family should be able to share!

It seems that just as Popeye needs his spinach, Robbie is incapable of functioning without a cold can of coke, he was still bleating about it when we got to Norwich. He seemed to lack enthusiasm for anything, he just stood outside the shops looking sullen. I thought that suggesting lunch at Subway would cheer him up, but it just made him even more impossible, so after lunch I decided that enough was enough and I dropped him off for a couple of hours at the 'man crèche' – otherwise known as Marks and Spencer!

Sam and I did more looking than buying, but 3 t-shirts and a decidedly dodgy tie seemed to cheer Robbie up no end. We went to Costa for a coffee and he managed to be almost civil, and a foray into Smiths and Quicksilver cheered him up even more. Unfortunately my happiness factor was set to plummet. Robbie led us back to the station at such a brisk trot and I had to run to keep up, then when we finally got the train it was full and standing with people spilling out onto the platform and bikes blocking the aisles. We squeezed on to train but it was swarming with unaccompanied youngsters behaving like brats. The train was dirty, disgusting and smelly, when a disabled person in a wheelchair wanted to use the train it was a total fiasco and it was quite obvious that the train was unsuitable for use on that line. The train crawled most of the way to North Walsham and I can honestly say it was my most unpleasant train journey ever. If this is the best National Express can manage they should hang their heads in shame and leave the railways to those who can do a better job. If we go back to Norwich next week, it will be by car rather than by train.

Robbie is a more cheerful chap this evening, lets hope he can keep it up!

Wishing Stones

It was a lovely sunny day so we enjoyed the garden and the beach. There are still lots of ladybirds and butterflies and as I sat in my garden chair I watched a couple of crickets jumping around on the lawn. I could hear a lot of them, but I could only see two.

We went for a walk on the beach and I enjoyed wandering around taking photos. I found my first wishing stone of the holiday too, a wishing stone is one with a hole all the way through - maybe I should buy a lottery ticket tomorrow!

Robbie managed not to be Mr Angry for most of the day, but when it was time to get our evening meal ready he fell out with himself about garlic bread. For some reason he the thought of garlic bread popped into his head and he did the full Rumpelstiltskin dance of rage because (according to him) I will not let him eat it. He can eat what he likes as far as I am concerned, but he will not be coming anywhere near me afterwards! He continued with his man stress while I harboured evil thoughts of putting a whole bulb of garlic into his evening meal, but I restrained myself (this time).

I sent him off for a walk to calm himself down, I'm not sure if he came back happier, but at least he was quieter. Later in the evening he was sorry and he tried to get back into my good books buy showing me pictures in one of his new railway books - of train toilets!! Help!

Man Stress!

Sam needed film for his camera and we needed a scart lead for the DVD player, so on Monday we look a drive into Cromer to have a look at the shops. In the end we abandoned Robbie in Jarrolds, I had waited for him for so long that I thought I would grow roots. They sell all Robbie's favourite things, books, DVDs, jigsaws and pens, so there is no hope of dragging him away. There was a sad gap on the main street, the old Woolworths shop remains empty and the town doesn't seem right without it. There is another bookshop and I enjoyed having a look around, Robbie did more than look, when he finally dragged himself away from Jarrolds, he found three railway books and a book about buses that he absolutely had to buy. We had a meal at our favourite restaurant overlooking the pier, but unfortunately Robbie had a man stress about something really trivial.

We went back via Tesco, just to pick up some milk and bread and a few bits and bobs, but Robbie was still feeling uptight and he argued about everything from the amount of milk that we needed to what kind of meat to buy. When he shouted at me about the kind of spread I wanted I knew it was time to make some changes. I gave him my purse and said that to avoid an argument I would go and wait in the car, but in the end he went and I finished the shopping. We drove home in smouldering silence, I really don't understand why he gets uptight about such trivial stuff. Oh well, I guess I can look forward to making up! Come to think of it the last time he was trying to make up he got sidetracked and started telling me about baby Deltics! Sometimes it is easier to just give up!

A Near Death Experience!

I had a near death experience on Sunday. We went to a car boot sale and Robbie and Sam were in rummaging mode, Sam has a passion for buying old coins and he dragged me over to a stall to look at some Victorian pennies, he got chatting to the lady on the stall and before I knew it she was offering him a box of bits and bobs at a very low price. Our house is full of junk already, we don't need to buy any more, I think my look of horror said it all. Sam managed to restrict himself to individual coins and he bought a pocket watch and some other oddments too. Just when I was breathing a sigh of relief about Sam, Robbie found a huge box of railway magazines. I stood there growing old while he scrambled under the table to sort through the magazines in the box. The man tried to negotiate with Robbie to buy the whole box and my heart sank, I had visions of dragging that big box of magazines back with us, but thankfully common sense prevailed and he didn't buy it.

Common sense hadn't extended to Robbie's choice of shorts, he was wearing those lurid brown and luminous yellow/green shorts that look like a skirt. I did my best not to look at his lower half, but when I did glance down I noticed that his left leg was covered in blood! As usual Robbie hadn't felt any injury and had no idea how he hurt himself, but closer inspection revealed three or four long cuts to his calf, it looked as if someone had tried to chop his leg off! We went back to the bungalow to tend to Robbie's wounds, then we spent a lovely afternoon sitting in the garden looking down at the beach listening to the gentle lapping of the tide. The sun was lovely but the noise pollution wasn't so attractive, it was Robbie running through his repertoire of farmyard impressions in his sleep. Nudging didn't wake him and shaking him only brought forth insults, so I decided to take a walk along the beach to the shop. I invited Robbie to come with me, but he told me to 'go away' so I left him there. He woke briefly when I brought him an ice cream back, but only seconds after the last mouthful the snoring started again and he remained there in the sunshine for another hour or so. When he came in he had caught the sun on one side of his face, it was very noticeable, the left side of his face was red and the other side was white, to complete the picture he had glowing red knees, it made him look like a comic book character – I could just imagine him as one of Batman's adversaries!

Getting There

It is increasingly difficult to get Robbie up in the mornings these days, but on Saturday morning I think my determined tone scared Robbie into action despite the early hour. We got all our last minute jobs done and with a bit of difficulty we crammed all our luggage into the car and closed the boot ready to go. Then Robbie suddenly remembered two more bags of essentials that absolutely had to go in the boot, and Sam had a 'man stress' because I had packed his laptop and his rucksack in the boot and he wanted it in the back with him. Very reluctantly I opened the boot, retrieved Sam's possessions, re packed the boot remembering to pack Robbie's last minute luggage and I closed the boot defiantly. I did not intend to open it again until we got to Norfolk.

This was my first real journey with the sat nav, I could tell that Robbie was feeling a bit edgy about being replaced and he was fairly close to a tantrum, so for the sake of peace I took a detour via Mc Donalds so that Robbie and Sam could indulge their passion for junk food. I couldn't face it and I made do with a hot chocolate. We made very good time and the sat nav was a great success until Robbie took an excessive interest in it as we drove through Norwich. Suddenly the sat nav was communicating with me in Cantonese and Robbie and Sam were convulsed with laughter, in fact Robbie laughed so much that he turned puce and looked as if he was about to burst. A couple more clicks from Robbie produced instructions in Dutch and then Polish, so I gave him one of my looks and miraculously the regained the power of speech in English.

We arrived before 11am, too early to pick up the key to the bungalow, so we spent a couple of hours in Mundesley, it was lovely and sunny, a really beautiful day. As we walked down to the beach we couldn't believe our eyes, there were more ladybirds than I have ever seen in my life. Apparently they have ladybirds in plague proportions in Norfolk, they are everywhere, but I don't mind, I rather like them.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1204864/Plague-ladybirds-puts-families-flight-Holidaymakers-overrun-tens-millions-bugs.html

By the time we had driven back to the bungalow, unpacked the car and settled in, I was so tired that I fell asleep.

Is It Raining Men?

Friday went past in a blur of activity, dealing with all those last minute jobs that have to be done before going on holiday. The day began with me chasing Robbie upstairs, he had been promising to go up to the loft to fetch some of my talking books for weeks and he had finally run out of excuses. Once he was safely in the loft I moved his ladder, to make sure he didn't escape until I was satisfied that all the jobs in the loft. There was a lot of thumping and clattering, it sounded as if he would fall through the ceiling at any minute, but just for once my worst fears were not realised. He emerged triumphantly bearing a box full of talking books that for the last few weeks he had insisted were not there, and he insisted that he had to have a shower before he did anything else. Unfortunately I had just run the bath for the dog and since Robbie was already dirty and semi naked (as usual) he was the ideal person to bath he dog! She wasn't overjoyed about the experience, but she behaved very well until I was safely out of range, then she shook herself vigorously and covered Robbie and the bathroom with water. Finally a rather damp and dejected, but clean dog and a clean and adequately dressed husband emerged to face the world and we were ready to go out and tackle the long list of errands that needed our attention.

We had already bought a whole trolley full of 'essentials' for the pets at the pet superstore, and we were heading to the garage to check the tyre pressure before braving the supermarket. Robbie had been getting increasingly annoyed with himself and he was ready to fall out with his own shadow. I knew what the problem was, he was in pain and struggling to walk, but there was nothing I could do to help. He sat in the car and used some of the more obscure and descriptive words in his vocabulary to tell his right leg exactly how he felt about it. Of course the leg took no notice, and Robbie grew increasingly angry with himself. In the end I had to get cross with him and remind him that many people with spina bifida would think he was lucky to be mobile and have fairly normal function. It sounds hard hearted, but I love him, I can't change the way things are, but I can do my best to keep him motivated and help him to keep a sense of perspective. He has to go back to the doctor to get his pain relief sorted out, but as usual I will have to drag him there!

We got everything done in the end, but by the time went to bed we were shattered and we had to make an early start on Saturday morning.

I Don't Believe It!

We have six children, and who is it that always gets into scrapes - Robbie!! I had a lonely, but very busy evening trying to catch up with all the jobs needed before our holiday and I was feeling very tired when Robbie phoned. It was his Corporal Jones voice (don't panic Mr Mainwaring) and if the pitch had got much higher he would have strangled himself. I am not sure if he was more afraid of the situation or the prospect of telling me, probably the latter! He stuttered and stumbled around the subject before admitting that he had 'got lost' in Birmingham New Street Station, found himself on the wrong platform and missed his last train home. Once again I had to make a mercy dash to Rugby to meet him, he got a train to Coventry and a taxi to Rugby!

Surprisingly for Robbie he wasn't very talkative on the way home, in fact he was snoring long before we got back to Northampton. It was 1.30am before we got home, he woke up as I reversed onto the drive, thanked me, humped out of the car and trotted into the house, leaving me to take care of myself. By the time I got in he had already made himself a pile of sandwiches and sliced up a mini pork pie. He was having an animated conversation with the cat who had managed to steal a slice of pork pie! I was so tired, that I headed straight to bed leaving Robbie and the cat exchanging insults while enjoying their midnight feast. Next time, I will leave him stranded!

A Sad Goodbye

If it didn't work the first time, I really don't know why Robbie thinks the same old tactics will work now. Last night he mentioned that he was going to a gig tonight, I wasn't best pleased because he had promised to do one or two important jobs that he failed to do at the weekend (when he went out to play). He claimed that he had told me about it weeks ago and if I couldn't remember it I must be going senile. He must think I'm stupid, he hadn't told me and he knew full well he hadn't told me, When he saw that I wasn't going to fall for for that line he changed tactic and told me how terribly upset he was because his favourite venue The Academy is closing and it holds so many memories that he had to go back one last time. He has missed his vocation, he should write for Mills and Boon! He was extra attentive this morning, he may have thought he fooled me, but I knew he just wanted to get into my good books because he needed a lift from the station very late tonight. You can read him like a book!

I tried out the sat nav yesterday, it is good. The best thing is that it has a female voice with an English accent, so I don't get too upset about it telling me what to do. I couldn't resist the temptation to try to teach the sat nav a few short cuts. If I didn't turn when it said, it would announce that it was recalculating and then it would give new instructions. When I had ignored it three times in succession, I'm sure I heard it give a grudging sigh before recalculating yet again. I think annoying the sat nav could be almost as much fun as annoying Robbie!

Not Up to The Job

It is a decision I have been putting off for a long time, but finally I have had to face facts, Robbie simply isn't up to the job. Half the time he is off playing trains, but even when he is physically present he has the attention span of a gnat. If it doesn't involve trains, computers or food he is not interested, but there are times that I need his undivided attention. I have tried everything, I have even resorted to begging, but it is hopeless, he just can't keep his mind on the job and far too often I get so frustrated that it leads to a row. Anyway I thought about it long and hard and I decided that I needed more than I was ever going to get out of Robbie, so I have made other arrangements. I have replaced him with a better model, I was surprised how easy it was, I wish I had done it years ago. I have bought a sat nav, it is wonderful, it doesn't navigate using Quail maps and it doesn't shout out when it sees a train. From now on Robbie is for decorative purposes only!

One Track Mind

I couldn't resist posting this picture of Oreo. He is not one of the great intellects of the cat world, how many cats do you know that get their heads stuck through the bars of a chair - every day. What he lacks in brain power he makes up for in girth, he is the greediest creature imaginable, on Friday he stole a whole bag of senior cat crunchies and he ate every bit.

Hands That Do Dishes

Robbie had one of his little tantrums a couple of weeks ago, the sort of tantrum that involves a lot of arm waving accompanied by fancy footwork and interminable ranting. He has this habit of turning his eyes heavenwards as if to call on support for a higher authority. If you block out the noise he looks very much like one of the ground staff trying to land a plane. The cause of all this annoyance was washing up liquid - yes honestly!

We use Persil Aloe Vera washing up liquid, we both like it and Fairy makes our hands sore so we have been brand loyal for years. Suddenly Tesco and Morrisons have stopped selling it. The cause of Robbie's tantrum was the appearance of an alien brand of washing up liquid in the kitchen. He doesn't do change! I have had to scour Northampton for Persil Aloe Vera brand, washing up liquid. You get some very odd looks when you buy 7 bottles at a time! Robbie has taken charge of the situation and he has emailed the manufacturer to find out what has gone wrong!!

A Mad, Mad World

A couple of weeks ago the bin men had a bit of a mishap with our wheelie bin, one of the pins that hold the lid in place was missing and it looked as if the bin had been caught on the emptying mechanism at the back of the bin lorry. I thought it would just be a case of Robbie ringing them up and someone sending me a new pin so that I could mend it, after all it wouldn't be difficult, even Robbie could do it! Apparently it is not that simple, believe it or not we have to have a Wheelie Bin Repair Team and they have to come out and assess the problem and decide if it can be repaired. I will probably cost more to assess the damage than it would to send out a new bin!

Communication Skills

Robbie rang me on Saturday morning at around 10am, he didn't have much to say except a load of drivel about trains, but he did mention that he would get home late on Saturday night rather than Sunday morning because he could get a lift. I gave him very firm instructions not to wake me up but I forgot to check that he had his house key. He didn't ring me again on Saturday, he forgets that I exist when he is 'playing trains'. Evening came and before I knew it was past 11pm and still no word from Robbie. The question of locking the front door bothered me, I couldn't go to bed and leave it open, I could lock it but not put the chain on, but there was a good chance that he didn't have his key because he didn't take his briefcase on Friday. I decided to wait up for him, so I kept myself busy with jobs until after 2am, when he rang to say that he was just going to bed! He embarked on a long and contorted story to explain his change of plan, the short version was that the train was seriously delayed. I wasn't interested in the detail, I just wanted to know why he didn't let me know earlier. He spluttered a bit, he even attempted to think up an excuse, but simple truth is that he forgot. I waited up until past 2am for nothing, I want overjoyed about it. Robbie will certainly not go down in history as one of the worlds great communicators.

Revenge is Sweet

They say revenge is sweet, I would probably have calmed down about Robbie going out to 'play trains' again, but leaving his flasher mac next to the washing machine for me to wash while he was out enjoying himself was a mistake. I considered accidentally putting it on a boil wash, but I didn't want to ruin the machine, so I had to be more subtle. Sam gave me the idea when he asked me not to play my talking books when we go on holiday next weekend because they get on his nerves. I was happy to agree because I intend to get on someone else's nerves! I have chosen some music CD's for a change, including some that I haven't listened to for a while. Cilla Black, Shaggy, Jimmy Nail, Dolly Parton, and a collection of music from the musicals, It is had to know which one Robbie dislikes most, probably the last one because he detests musicals. He doesn't like Country music either, I wonder how many times he could cope with Dolly Parton singing In the Ghetto - it could be a very long journey! There again I am a reasonable person and`I do quite like to listen to Radio 4 on a Saturday morning, so if Robbie starts being a bit more thoughtful, I may forgive him before Saturday!

Through Sam's Eyes.

Sam is amazing, I don't always understand how his mind works or what makes him tick, but just occasionally he allows me to have a little glimpse at the world through his eyes. He has an amazing general knowledge, better than anyone else I know, he is like a sponge soaking up ideas and information and processing it all in his own unique way. When we were driving in the car the other day he said that he liked to imagine people with their own signature tune to match their walk. I told him that I thought it was a really good idea but I didn't have enough music in my head to do that. He then asked me if I knew Henry Mancini, I told him that I didn't know anything about him except that he had something to do with music. Sam explained that Mancini composed a tune called Baby Elephant Walk and it was the perfect theme tune for Robbie. He played it for me on his PSP and he's right, it fits Robbie perfectly. I wasn't brave enough to ask what my theme tune was!