Thursday 21 February 2008

Departures 24.06.07

Well, I've been abandoned again! This time he has gone to work - who in their right mind would go to work on a Sunday just to be allowed to do more but different work during the week - he's potty. Even worse there were no trains running so his journey to and from work took twice as long!

So I found myself alone in bed this morning with nothing more exciting to think about than the imminent departure of Tony Blair (at last!). It seems that now that he has finally been dislodged from UK politics he is to be paid a ridiculous sum to head overseas with the aim of bringing peace and co-operation to the middle east. Now I don't have too much trouble with the idea of paying him to go away, somewhat belated maybe, but a good idea. The bit that troubles me is the plan to send him to the middle east, surely they have enough problems without having to put up with him as well! Apparently this was the idea of President Bush; I know he makes Winnie the Pooh look like a genius, but where on the Blair CV is there anything to suggest that he could bring peace and harmony to any part of the world? The man couldn't even get on with his own chancellor and surely even Bush cant imagine that Iraq was a success!!!

My prediction for the Deputy Leadership proved somewhat wide of the mark. Harriet Harman surprised everyone by just scraping a victory over some other faceless wonder who for some reason or other was the bookies favourite. Not that it matters, she will have about as much power and influence as the milk monitor in a primary school. Whoops, that aged me a bit! We did have milk monitors 'in my day', we also had a book monitor and an ink monitor, but the prized job was bell monitor. It was the job of one of the oldest children to go to the hall table and ring the bell at the end of each lesson. It was a polished brass bell with a lovely wooden handle, it was very heavy and surprisingly loud

Back to reality, another more upsetting departure has been announced. Thierry Henry is to leave Arsenal for Barcelona - that is something worth feeling sad about!

A Day To Myself 23.06.07

I have the day to myself today - luxury. Robbie has gone by train to Paignton for the day accompanied by half a dozen young ladies and Sam (well someone had to keep Robbie in order!). It involved an early start for everyone and I was woken at an impossibly early hour by the alarm clock duet, we have one clock to wake the other clock, and being a 'belt and braces' sort of person Robbie sets the alarm on his phone too! Having exhausted the possibilities of the snooze button I gave in to the inevitable and got up. Robbie was the last to be ready as usual, Laura and Sam were waiting by the door while he was dancing around the house in his knickers making incoherent noises which conveyed a general impression of panic. Eventually he was ready and despite the delay I left them at the station in time to catch their train.

I hope Robbie doesn't misplace any of his clothes today. Last week he went to Walsall but he left his jacket on the train and it went to Euston. Well, it makes a good excuse for a trip to Euston I suppose!

Robbie rang me a couple of hours after they got to Torquay to say he was having the time of his life!

The John Wayne Look 22.06.07

After a busy and challenging day I sat down with this weeks issue of Rail. Like most people I don't start at the beginning of the magazine and work through in a methodical manner, I browse stopping at whatever takes my fancy along the way. I read the article on West Coast Railways, then my attention was caught by the article on the spring National Passenger Survey results. It came as no surprise to find FGW languishing in the relegation zone at the bottom of the league in terms of satisfaction and value for money. Maybe their fictional track, non existent seats and fantasy timetable were not such a good idea after all!

I thumbed the pages towards the front of the magazine and was startled to come across an alarming picture of Chris Gibb holding a urine sample! Ok I admit he is fairly easy on the eye compared to many other railway people, but bodily fluids in rail magazine - surely not! When I recovered from the initial horror I realised he was proudly displaying a sample of bio-diesel at the launch of the first bio-diesel train in UK. I think it is a hopeful sign and if the government sort out the nonsense regarding tax on bio-diesel maybe the railways can become a little greener, but please no more scary photos!

I found another photo of Chris Gibb on the Christian Wolmar page, he was still waving the dratted 'urine sample' but this time he was standing in front of the Voyager with a group of Virgin CrossCountry staff. I am sure they are all nice people but the Voyager is the star of the show, so please move the people and let us look at the Voyager. While on the subject of photos, why do all male Virgin employees stand like that? I can only describe it as the 'John Wayne look' - to put it bluntly they stand with their legs so far appart that they look as if they have just got off a horse!

Off The Rails 21.06.07

So Silverlink lost the West Midlands franchise, I can't say I am too sad about that, they didn't exactly sparkle and they had some devastatingly miserable staff. On the other hand my 321's will go and I am pretty sad about that, I can't explain why I like them, I just do. The livery reminds me of the old style Cadbury's dairy milk wrapper and it seems comfortable and familiar. OK, 350's may be more comfortable, but it will not seem right not seeing the 'Dusty Bins' at Northampton.

Robbie came with me to pick Emily up from the Music Centre. On the way home we were chatting about the change of franchise when Emily said that she needed to tell me something. She told me that I was getting as bad as Robbie - that's impossible!

I see that First Great Western are still getting it spectacularly wrong in the South West. The latest fiasco defies belief. FGW produced and sent out a map indicating a direct rail link between Falmouth and Redruth, just one slight problem, no rails! There is no rail link between those towns so sending out the info as part of a cheap fares promotion was a bit of an oversight to say the least. No wonder their passengers call them Worst Late Western!!

Perhaps the fictional track was intended to complement the non existent seats and their fantasy timetable!

A Question of Time 21.06.07

Oh yes, he misses a train occasionally - or to be more accurate he misses a train regularly, as often as once a week. There was even one notable week when he scored a hat trick! I am not overjoyed if he is late home because it messes up our meal time, but what really winds me up are the excuses! If the train is late, one simple sentence is sufficient, I don't need to have a detailed analysis of every problem the railway has encountered in the last week! If he has missed the train a simple "I missed the train, I'm sorry" would help, but I am treated to a detailed breakdown of everything he has done at work that day with little diversions to explain what other people in the office did and said. He goes on and on and on and on ....... until I beg him to go away! In fact he goes on for so long that he risks missing the next train. I must admit that after being late home three times in a week he almost had to take up a new career - as a soprano!!
I realise that train planners struggle with normal time, what I would call about half past six he would call 18.27, but why does he have to leave only 30 seconds to spare before getting on a train? No wonder he get's it wrong occasionally! How can I make him understand that it is OK to be early, it would do wonders for his blood pressure - and mine! He was never a boy scout, but in all other respects he likes to 'be prepared' - you should see all the 'essential' junk he drags around with him, so why can't he allow himself sufficient time to catch the train?
When he is out with me I make sure he gets to the station on time, but we still have problems because he vanishes only to pop up again as the train doors are about to close. At Plymouth I lost him in the stores, he was chatting to old friends and the train almost went without him. At Euston he wanted to just pop into the stores and he left me waiting for so long that I thought I was going to get moved on. The children get really upset, because he darts off the train to get a coffee or to look at another train and they are terrified that it will go without him.
How does he manage to get all those train timings sorted when he can't organise himself to be on time for his own train? I know part of the answer, is that sometimes the later train more interesting and he will go to considerable lengths to travel on his preferred service, but of course he will not admit to that!!

Miracles will happen.......... 20.06.07

it was another late night again, but not due to me missing my train (yes I do occasionally miss a train...lol..), but due to OHLE problems between Long Buckby - Rugby with CT starting/terminating at Rugby, which only meant one thing... BUS REPLACEMENT! Its daunting enough catching a CT train let alone a CT replacement bus service as you never know what to expect! So as we as we arrived into Platform 6 at Rugby (the Up Bay Platform....also a new platform for me that I hadn't scratched before...LOL..) we all eagerly headed off towards the front of the station. To my surprise there was two coaches and one minibus, the minibus was for Long Buckby and the two coaches were for Northampton ONLY. Well to put it mildly I was AMAZED! CT do have a habit of doing things on the cheap so to have three different coaches was a miracle to sat the least! So at 18.31 we departed for Northampton and 40 minutes later... we arrived at Northampton.......it must have been fastest replacment coach I've ever been on!!!!

First Impressions 20.06.07

It isn't often that you get the chance to see a situation through another persons eyes, but I feel that i have had a little glimpse of the world of school through Sam's eyes. He started at senior school last September and until yesterday we had only met his class teacher and a couple of senior teachers. Yesterday we went to his parent's evening and met some of his subject teachers and I was astounded that they (mostly) seemed fairly 'normal'. Having become familiar with Sam's nicknames for his teachers I was intrigued to see what the 'human couch' the 'walking wedgie' and 'pure evil' looked like. The teacher described as 'pure evil' did not appear to have horns and a tail, but perhaps he was on his best behaviour and the teacher described as elderly was only about 40! The 'walking wedgy' was exactly as described, in fact he wore his trousers so high that he makes Simon Cowell's trousers look like hipsters!

Perhaps Sam's perception of certain teachers is a little extreme, but his progress at school is really pleasing, he had very good reports from everyone. The episode set me thinking about Robbies colleagues, I wonder how accurate his descriptions are? He claims that compared to him they are almost all totally weird, I know that stretches the imagination a bit, but I have seen a couple of them and if they are representative of the group Robbie may be right!!

Secret Weapon 19.06.07

I can't say that Monday mornings ever fill me with unbounded joy, but this morning proved extremely challenging. Thankfully we had planned a slightly later start today due to a GP appointment so Robbie and I were still at home just after 8am, Laura was at home too. As I glanced up my attention was attracted by a flash of movement in the back garden and I realised that there was a man dodging around in the garden. Robbie, who was wearing only PJ bottoms went out to see off the intruder. I am not sure if he intended to scare the fugitive into submission, but it seems he was fairly effective. The man took one look at Robbie and ran shouting and swearing towards our neighbours fence. He cleared the obstacle with ease, but the scene became even more surreal when two policemen popped up and pursued the man. One followed the man into our neighbours garden, but the other clearly felt that enough was enough and gave up. Robbie let the policeman through the house to the street in time to see an extremely vocal and foul mouthed youth man being led towards the police car. With that much drama before 9am it is no surprise that the rest of my day was fairly challenging too.

People Who Live In Glass Houses ................. 18.06.07

Robbie braved the floods and was forced to abandon his beloved trains in favour of busses in order to spend Saturday in Walsall/Birmingham with the gang. He had been with Seb for less than an hour before he was begging for mercy because Seb wouldn't stop talking. Like father like son! Now he knows how the rest of us feel!! I can't make Robbie stop talking (he even talks in his sleep). Most of the time it doesn't bother me, but he even does it when I am using a calculator or speaking to someone else on the phone. That makes me furious, but even the most severe threats make no impact on his behaviour, so I am gradually learning to 'tune him out'.
He had lots of Fathers Day prezzies including a book about Virgin trains (OK I admit I only managed to cope for 10 mins before I grabbed the book for a 'quick' look) a new travel mug and some special coffee, yet another parker pen for his collection and a DVD. Even with so much to keep him quiet he was noisy all day! I suppose I knew what I was taking on, and his many good points outweigh the 'background noise' but I was slightly offended when he told me that I was weird and that I had a very odd taste in men! People who live in glass houses ..................................

Surprising Qualities! 16.06.07

As most of you have worked out by now I absolutely adore Christine. I'm not trying to earn brownie points or creep, its a known fact I love her dearly, but it comes to something when she turns out to be more of a geek than I am! I was only asking Chris if she remembered the Tab Clear drink from the early 90's (clear coca cola to those of you who don't know what it is...), and she come back with all the gen including pictures of different international can variations and a website devoted to Tab! She said she prefered Cresta - something else that seems to have vanished without trace. Oh well I shldn't moan too much, who else has a wife who likes trains and computers....and she is really quite normal....LOL.....

http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/pop/food.htm
http://ilovetab.com/faq

A Bit of Trouble With The Balls 15.06.07

A couple of months ago I purchased some tumble dryer balls. They were recommended on a couple of sites I look at and as they are greener and cheaper (long term) than fabric softeners I thought I would give them a try. They work brilliantly, except for one thing - Robbie! He has developed an irrational dislike of the balls and he keeps dumping them out of the dryer. Then Megan comes along and thinks they are there for her amusement so by the time I realise they are missing, they are well and truly missing. It is infuriating to have to search the house each time I want to put the dryer on. I have tried to reason with him and when that failed I tried threats. He is not a fast learner, so if he has a limp next time you see him you will know that the balls are still causing him problems! By the way one is pink and the other is mauve.

The Wrong Kind of Rain 15.06.07

Just When You Thought It Was Safe...lol..!! 15.06.07

Oh well...I suppose it was inevitable! No its not me taking a vow of silence, it the fact that today Christine announced that she is going to start writing a book about me. Just when you thought the blog was as bad as it got, well as they say...'you ain't seen nothing yet'!!! One small problem is the title. Dare I ask you ALL to come up with an appropriate title?!?!? So get those brains ticking over....

Survival - Against The Odds! 14.06.07

Sometimes I am amazed that Robbie has managed to survive for so long! Yesterday we had to go to the dreaded Tesco's, we hadn't shopped together for a while and I soon remembered why. We were in the milk section when the first problem occurred, having stopped to collect the milk I turned the trolley and headed back the way we came. I became aware that I had 'mislaid' Robbie and I looked back to see him standing there like a 'terrible two' with his arms folded and a defiant look on his face, I remember Laura doing exactly the same thing when she was tiny. The reason for his strop was that I was pushing the trolley and it is 'his job'. I decided that now was not the ideal moment to address the issue and I left him in charge of the trolley once more. We continued shopping, but my tolerance decreased each time he challenged my choice of purchase. Apparently his choice of bread was better because he preferred the feel of the wrapper, my pack of fish fingers cost fractionally more per 100g than his choice. Similar objections were raised as each item went into the trolley until the temptation to park that trolley was hard to resist. At the checkout the tension prickles in the air like electricity, he has to be the bag monitor, he has to pack the trolley his way and if I deviate from his plan he even repacks the bags! He has to push the trolley, he has to pack the car and when we get home he has to pack the fridge to his exact blueprint and if anyone changes it he declares war! Control freak in the making!!

After our evening meal I was exhausted and I decided to go to bed. I was soon snuggled up in bed and I must have drifted off to sleep fairly quickly. My sleep was disturbed by a thunderous noise that could have been mistaken a police raid, it was actually Robbie galloping up the stairs and talking to himself. He burst into the bedroom, asking very loudly if I was awake, he leaned over me still talking loudly and when he got no response he pulled my covers off to see if I was still asleep. Undaunted by the adverse reaction he jumped on the bed (yes literally!) and then settled himself at the side of me and made a determined attempt to engage me in conversation. I begged him to go away, I begged for peace, I even begged for a cup of tea, but he said I was 'confused' and he carried on talking to me. In the end sleep was my only escape. I don't recall dreaming but if I did I wouldn't be surprised if it was about cruel and unusual revenge!

Humble Pie 14.06.07

I have been in dispute with Robbie for months about the origins of a building not far from the site of the old St John's Station in Northampton. I was convinced that something about the architecture suggested that it had railway origins, but Robbie was equally adamant that the location was slightly wrong and that it didn't look like a railway building, in fact he had a bit of a sulk when I wouldn't accept his opinion. I read everything I could find about the station, but I couldn't find anything about that particular building. Yesterday Robbie made a new friend on the train (not Desmond!) and in conversation he found out that the building that I wanted to know more about was the old Station Masters house. I was so pleased to find out about the building but I got most pleasure from watching Robbie eat humble pie!

Robbie Clone - It's Scary 12.06.07

Sam feels that he gets too many mentions on the blog and he thinks it is about time that I included some embarrassing memories about his siblings. I thought I would start with an episode that still makes us all chuckle. Sam and Robbie are frighteningly similar, but Robbie and Seb are clones - it is scary! Like someone else we know, Seb never gives the abridged version of whatever he has to say, he includes the most intricate details and his stories have been known to go on for so long that people have to beg for mercy.

On this particular occasion Seb and i were chatting about death, I can't remember why, but conversation with Seb is always a bit of a rollercoaster and the conversation can swerve from one subject to another alarmingly fast. Anyway, Seb started to tell me about the funeral of a relative who had died several years earlier and he told me how sad it was. He described every tiny detail of the funeral and I felt my eyes fill with tears as he explained how the widow of the deceased ran forward and tried to prevent the coffin from disappearing behind the curtain at the crematorium. It sounded so sad and we were silent for several minutes until Seb's voice burst through the silence as he said, 'Oh, I have just remembered, I got it a bit wrong'. I looked at him enquiringly and he continued 'actually, he was buried'.

The Big Stink 11.06.07

Over the last few days we have developed a seriously unpleasant smell in the car. At work my sense of smell is legendary and I pride myself on being able to identify the exact origin of even the most obnoxious odours (it is a very useful skill in my line of work!) but the origin of this smell defeated me. I checked the car for any offending object, but there was nothing and every day the smell got worse. Copious amounts of Oust and car fresheners proved useless and I was being driven mad by the smell. It was similar to over ripe trainers crossed with rotting potato, but I just couldn't track it down.

When I was waiting for Laura at the music centre this afternoon I could bear it no longer and I decided to take the car apart. I lifted the seats up and looked in every possible nook and cranny - nothing! I still had ten minutes to wait so I thought I would have a look at the bag containing two or three pairs of new shorts for Robbie. They were a kind but misguided gift to him for an elderly relative and I didn't need a crystal ball to predict that they would be unsuitable. The strange thing about old people is that they constantly tell you to wear a vest, but when it comes to shorts they like them to have short legs, barely more than knickers. Robbie has very nice legs, but they look much nicer in long shorts. I was correct, in the bag were three pairs of too short shorts. Laura returned to the car just as I was looking at them and she begged me not to let him wear them. I assured her that he wouldn't wear them as they would make him look like Gandhi. She fell about laughing and pointed out that Robbie and Ghandi had very different girth measurements, but I was referring to the baggy nappy look.

Anyway I realised that there was something heavy at the bottom of the bag and when I looked in I found the source of the smell. The same doting relative had thoughtfully slipped a bag of carrots into the bag of shorts as a treat for the guinea pig. The shorts and carrots had been in the car for a week and the (thankfully) sealed bag of carrots contained a fermenting liquid that smelled frightening.

This little episode brought to mind an event years ago when I was about 10. I used to stay with an (honorary) aunt and uncle on their farm every summer, it was my idea of heaven. This particular year they had finally sold their lovely old Austin Cambridge and they were the proud owners of a not very attractive red Moskovich. This car started to smell bad, and over the week it got progressively worse. Uncle and I checked the car time and time again but we couldn't find anything. Then as a last resort he lifted the bonnet to look at the engine and the cause of the odour was revealed. A huge mouse had got into the engine space and hung itself on part of the metalwork in the inside of the bonnet. One small decaying rodent caused an almighty stink!

Wagons Roll 11.06.07

We had a classic 'Random Robbie' this evening, he looked up from his computer and informed me that in order to celebrate the 60th Anniversary of Wagon Wheels they had held a Wagon Wheel rolling competition near Slough. My response was to inform Robbie that John Betjeman was right about Slough, they must be potty!

http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/

Mr Benn 10.06.07

I was getting ready to take Sam to his Uncle's when Robbie asked me who I thought was the best candidate for the Deputy Leadership of the Labour Party. That really was a random question because it has so little relevance to me that it is not on even on my radar, but I am used to odd questions and I always do my best to answer, so I had a look at the list of candidates. I was looking for the name of that woman that looks like a horse, you know, the one who likes caravan holidays. Anyway she wasn't a candidate, I thought she would have been a good bet because she would be unlikely to be led astray, but then thinking about it looks didn't stop David Blunkett and Robin Cook from going astray, there must be some very silly women in the world! I cast my eyes down the list of unfulfilled egos and hazarded my opinion that Hilary Benn was probably the best option. Robbie said that he didn't know anything about her, and he refused to believe me when I told him that it was a man! He then demanded to know the reason for my choice, well I guess there are two reasons, I think he would give Gordon a hard time because they are not exactly on the same page politically speaking. I also think the man must have bottle, because anyone who studied Russian and East European Studies at University and only became an MP in 1999 but thinks he has what it takes to be deputy leader must have the essential ability to be a successful politician. You may wonder what that is, it is the ability to ignore the facts and carry on regardless!! Actually there is one genuine reason why he probably is a good candidate, he is teetotal.

I know much more about the other Mr Benn, no not the potty one who writes diaries, the one who lived at 52 Festive Road, he was an iconic figure in my childhood. He lived in an ordinary street in an ordinary town, but from time to time he escaped from the ordinary and he visited a Fancy Dress shop, tried on a costume and stepped in to an extraordinary adventure. When his adventure was over the shopkeeper would appear as if by magic and Mr Benn would be back in the changing room and he would happily step back into his ordinary world, but he always found a little momento of his adventure. Those programmes made a big impression on me, perhaps they made me unwilling to settle for an ordinary uneventful life - there must be some reason why I find Robbie irresistible!!

A Cunning Plan 09.06.07

It was Robbie's turn to make me feel old this morning. I had an itch on my back and was directing him to the right spot with 'up a bit, left a bit, down a fraction, fire' and the inevitable reference to the Golden Shot. He claimed that he had never heard of the Golden Shot and asked if it was a ship! How can he possibly have no childhood memories of numerically challenged Anne Aston and the mysterious 'Bernie the Bolt'. OK having checked, I admit that Robbie was only 3 when the last series was screened, I suppose it is a bit much to expect him to remember it!

http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/tv/variety/goldenshot.htm

It turned out that Robbie had a cunning plan. In a devilish strategy worthy of Baldrick he told me about a recent conversation with an acquaintance of his who seems to think that enjoyment can only be achieved by a night on the razzle and is disdainful of people who find more enjoyable ways to fill their free time. We were just pondering on the inevitable consequences of his behaviour - brewers droop, and we agreed that he needed to grow up and find some less anti social interests. Quick as a flash Robbie seized his opportunity and requested a 'day pass' to go to Barrow Hill to the I had to laugh, his planning was incredible. He then lost the plot and gave me a minute by minute account of his proposed travel arrangements (including a time allowance for breakfast!). My interest had waned before he had travelled beyond Wellingborough, honestly, Saturday morning with my husband and we have to have a monologue on the intricacies of train timetables! He gradually became aware of my frustration, maybe the fact that I was ready to batter him gave him a clue! In an attempt to redeem himself he suggested an overnight trip to Newquay. I was quite tempted, but I was mystified by his desire to break the return journey with lunch and shopping in Plymouth. I know Plymouth well but the shops are nothing special and we wouldn't have time to get to the Barbican and back. It didn't make sense until he admitted that it would enable him to travel on a more 'interesting' train back to Birmingham! He's impossible.

An Expensive Mistake 08.06.07

The parking sensors on the Galaxy seem to be playing up. The rear sensor keeps doing a peculiar little screech for no apparent reason. I can't face another trip to the garage at the moment - and neither can my bank account! I don't find the parking sensors very useful anyway because I am so tone deaf that I cannot distinguish between the front and rear sensors.

A man that I used to work with had a very interesting problem with his car a few years ago, his clutch peddle was sticking badly causing him difficulty changing gear and making driving very difficult. He booked the car into the garage and they swiftly resolved the problem for him. His car mat has slipped and was obstructing the peddle, they just had to reposition the mat!

Unwanted Interest 08.06.07

Robbie rang me this morning to say that his 'stalker' was on the train again today. I am not sure ig he was still wearing socks an sandals but he certainly managed to disturb Robbie. I think it is really bothering him. Maybe he will have to travel in disguise, any ideas?

A History Lesson 07.06.07

The conversation at home somehow strayed on to the new HDTV test card featuring Myleene Klass. Despite appreciating the finer points of Myleene, Robbie was quite vocal in defence of the 1967 version with the girl and the clown. I suppose it is a bit sad to get nostalgic about a test card, but maybe we are not exactly the most usual household!

http://img243.imageshack.us/my.php?image=testcarddo6.jpg

Prompted by our conversation about the test card Sam and Laura decided to tell me about TV in the 'olden days'. According to Sam his teacher told him that in the days before Star Treck they used to play the national anthem at bedtime, then TV would close downand there would be a blank screen with a white dot in the middle with one long bleeeeeep to tell you to switch the TV off. He was particularly appalled by the knowledge that they didn't have remote controls in those days and people had to walk to the TV to change channels. He looked at me with a mixture of incredulity and disgust as he told me that they didn't even have breakfast TV! I find it rather alarming that I lived through Sam's 'olden days', yet he treats it as ancient history filed away in his mind somewhere close to the Stone Age!

Robbie was late home tonight, so he hasn't had much opportunity to get into trouble (yet!) last night his capacity to fall asleep got him into trouble so he is trying to be a little more alert tonight.

A Tight Fit! 07.06.07

Robbie had one of his 'moments' in the supermarket last night. I can't exactly call it a tantrum because he didn't 'dance' in the way he did when I wanted to buy a lager bottle of tomato ketchup and he was adamant that I couldn't because it wouldn't fit (in the fridge). I was severely tempted to fit it elsewhere at the time, but now the memory just makes me laugh. This little episode was caused by me choosing a different size pack of tea bags because they were on offer. I had done the maths and they worked out cheaper than the larger pack and more importantly they fitted the cupboard better, but 'you know who' couldn't cope with such a major change in his routine. He started to become 'animated' and demanded that we go off and do the maths again, but he was drawing a crowd so I hurried him towards the checkout, still complaining loudly and trying to dodge back to the tea bags. If his behaviour wasn't bad enough, he risked his own physical well-being by suggesting very loudly that I was autistic - look in the mirror Robbie!!

We got home, had our meal and tidied up, but he was still rambling on about tea bags. I really must stop him reading the Grocer if it has this sort of effect on him! I would understand it if he drank tea, but he doesn't he always has coffee, I am the tea drinker. As if he hadn't already said enough he pronounced that I was so much like his Grandma because she used to buy food in packs to fit the cupboards too! Thanks for that Robbie, I really needed cheering up! I can manage to feel far too old old without any help from my family!

With a little help from Sam, I feel that I have had my revenge. On Monday I asked Robbie to buy Sam some new pants and he went to H&M to get them. Unfortunately he bought briefs and Sam was horrified, he likes boxers. Robbie was duly despatched to H&M to exchange them, this time the style was OK, but the colours were so wrong, I am sure they were designed to go with the technicolor dreamcoat! So Robbie has to go back yet again to change them. He was really ranting about it because the assistants will think he is some sort of pervert. Poor old Robbie!

One Foot in The Grave 06.06.07

Here is one more work memory, just to show that it isn't all about bodily functions. Some years ago I was on my way home at the end of a long and challenging day. I drove out of the rear car park and I was just driving past the front of the building when a female resident rushed out and waved frantically asking me to stop. I pulled in to a parking bay and she told me that her friend (another resident) was sobbing because her budgie was laying down and wouldn't move. She asked if I could please go and give it the kiss of life. I have achieved one or two surprising things in my life but resurrecting a budgie was not within my powers. I called in at the office to collect some kitchen roll and a plastic bag and then went up to the flat to view the deceased. I found the budgie's owner sobbing and another female resident wailing in sympathy. The third resident who had fetched me began to join the cacophony providing the descant range. That proved more than flesh and blood could endure and I sent her off to find the male resident who helped out at the allotment, to ask him to dig a hole in the front garden big enough to bury a budgie.

I realised that the owner of the budgie was very upset. A pet can mean so much to someone who lives alone. I checked the budgie, pronounced life extinct and gently lifted it from the cage for her to say her goodbyes. I wrapped the budgie in a shroud of about four sheets of kitchen roll and placed it in the little plastic bag to carry it down to the front garden. When I got to the garden I found that they had chosen a lovely spot in the corner of the garden but the hole was big enough to bury a horse! The male resident was in the hole and still digging with the female resident looking on, the other two were leaning out of the windows still wailing. I removed the budgie from the plastic bag and I passed the it, still wrapped in the kitchen roll to the man, I warned him to hold it carefully. He stood in the hole and took the budgie, he held the 'shroud' in exactly the wrong place, it unrolled and the corpse dropped into the hole. The howling from above reached a crescendo and was enhanced by the sobs of the two residents in the garden. I should have been at home cooking the evening meal, but instead I found myself in a muddy grave recovering the corpse of a budgie in order to re wrap and bury the poor thing.

The resident showed her appreciation for the support I had given her by naming her new budgie Nissan after my car!

An Uplifting Experience! 05.06.07

Robbie said that he got teased so much because of yesterday's entry in the blog that he deserves a bit of time off tonight so I have had instructions to entertain readers with another account of my experiences at work, but more of that later. I have to just mention that Robbie is sitting here in his PJ's rambling on and on about the layout of Padstow station c1920 and why they needed a turntable. It is my own fault I shouldn't have left the Branch Line to Padstow book on the bed.

Sam announced that he wants some Van's trainers. He stressed that they have to be Vans because no other brand will go with the laces he has bought! He and Robbie are so alike sometimes.

Right then, back to the account of my experiences at work. In my previous job I had to take my turn 'on call' to deal with emergencies that occurred out of hours. The residents knew that it was really for housing related emergencies, but over the years I encountered a variety of very creative 'emergencies' and I develop a diverse knowledge because advice was sought on everything from budgies to bowels, so there was very little that genuinely surprised me.

It was Boxing Day and I was on call. I was contacted by a resident who was clearly in some discomfort. Apparently he was at a loose end and for no logical reason this fifty year old man had overdosed on someone else's viagra tablets. The inevitable occurred and he was unable to rid himself of the 'evidence' so for reasons best known to him he contacted me for help. I am not sure what he expected me to do about it. I advised him that it was well beyond my job description and if he was worried he should seek medical help. However I happened to know that the 'cure' recommended for the effects of viagra is a pack of frozen peas applied to the swollen area. He said that he would try it, but he phoned several more times to update me on progress, or to be more accurate his lack of progress. I tried to be tolerant, but it really was not my responsibility and I had told the man how to access medical help. He rang yet again (and interrupted my meal) to report that problem had not diminished at all. I advised him that time would resolve the problem, but until then he would have somewhere to hang his hat! He didn't phone again. He survived unscathed, but hopefully a little wiser!

Scary Situation! 04.06.07

The first day back at work after a holiday is always a bit of a challenge. Robbie loves his job more than anyone else I have met, but even he couldn't help wishing that we were still on holiday. When he came home he was somewhat subdued - not a state you would usually associate with Robbie. At first he didn't have much to say, about his day, but I could tell there was something bothering him. Eventually he told me that he had been troubled by something that happened on the train. In fact by the look on his face he was badly spooked. Apparently another passenger appeared to be taking an obsessive interest in Robbie! That may sound unlikely, but I have known him to embark on deep and meaningful conversations with complete strangers so I wasn't that surprised. Once when we were on a day out he spent several hours talking to a woman who had been foolish enough to sit opposite us about protecting the flood plain in Northampton and about the regeneration of Plymouth and Coventry! Boring!! Anyway it soon became clear why he was so wound up, his admirer was a man and as if that was not bad enough, it was a man who wore socks with sandals and had a fold up bike - scary!!!!

An Explosive Problem 03.02.07

I was most reluctant to leave Cornwall and drag myself back to reality, but after a good night's sleep I have to admit there is nothing quite like your own bed. We had a new mattress recently and it is very comfortable, it is one of those that has extra support in all the right places, the only problem is Robbie put it on the wrong way round so the head end is where the feet should be and vise versa - typical!

Sam and I went to collect Meg from the Kennels this morning. She was pleased to see us, but not as excited as I expected until I reversed the car on to the drive, then she got really excited and she came bounding into the house to find Robbie. Sam was looking forward to getting his Guinea pig back from Grandma's, but knowing Grandma's passion for feeding everyone to capacity he was worried that Shadow would be anything but a shadow. As he put it, 'she could be the size of a Capybara by now' but his fears were groundless, she was fine and not super sized at all.

On the subject of super sized Robbie came to bed and woke me up at 3am to tell me that he thought his stomach was going to explode. I think he must have had a bad dream because he made a miraculous recovery. Just to be sure, he tested his stomach to the limit this afternoon when we went to tea at my mum's. He ate, and ate but even Robbie couldn't completely demolish that spread. He is such a creep, he told my mum she is the best mother in law in the world, hopefully that isn't just because she feeds him!
Robbie and I had a strong disagreement (not argument) about the most stupid thing this afternoon. It was all about how to solve the problem of bikes on trains, I ended up wanting to scream at him for being so negative! I think we will steer clear of the subject of bikes for a few days.

Happy Birthday Laura 02.06.07

An early start this morning! At 7am we were all enjoying bacon sandwiches and watching Laura open her birthday presents. After some hasty packing we hit the road at about 9.30am. I am always reluctant to leave Cornwall, but it is a little easier on a dismal morning such as this morning. It remained wet and miserable until we were past Exeter and then gradually a beautiful warm day emerged. It was a tedious journey as there were far too many people on the road but once the dreaded Bristol was behind us and we had joined the M4 the journey improved.

Robbie was delighted to see a FGW train heading towards London and a Virgin double set heading towards the south west. It is a very odd sensation to drive along the M5 with a train travelling alongside.

Sea Birds 01.06.07


Today is the first day of Laura’s birthday celebrations, her birthday is actually tomorrow, but we will be travelling home tomorrow so she decided to start the celebrations today! She chose three of her presents and all her cards to open today and she has saved the others until tomorrow morning. She chose well and found her main present – a new mobile. She spent the rest of the morning relaxing on the beach keying all her vital data to her new phone. Gone are the days Barbie and Sylvanian Families, it was so much easier when the birthday shopping could all be done at Toys R Us.

It has been a lovely day. I went out for a walk first thing the light is so good for photography on a clear morning. I am sure I could stay here for ever and never tire of the view and the feeling of being connected with the world around me.

We spent most of the day on the beach followed by a quick trip to St Merryn and then to Tesco to collect Laura’s birthday cake – a rich chocolate cake covered in slivers of grated chocolate.

Robbie and I walked along the coast path towards the lifeboat house this evening, it is so beautiful just sitting there looking out across the bay. We saw two of those black sea birds whose name reduces Sam and Robbie to the worst excesses of school boy humour, and usually results in a list of the rudest combinations of bird names they can think of. I wonder if Robbie will ever grow up!

Even later in the evening it was warm enough to sit outside and enjoy a cup of tea. Oh well, back to reality tomorrow.

If Only You Could Freeze Time 31.05.07

We decided to have a day in Padstow and we all split up to follow our own interests. Robbie made straight for his little bookshop and the girls headed off to buy presents and to look at clothes. Sam hadn’t completely given up on the possibility of buying a super soaker water gun – no way! He had lots of other things in mind too – all equally unsuitable but we had a good look around the shops anyway and he didn’t go home empty handed

Robbie has established a tradition of buying a tee shirt or top from Padstow each year. This time it was a white tee shirt, I don’t recall what was on it, but he seemed happy with it so that’s the main thing. We had a nice lunch in Padstow before heading back.

This evening we walked along the coast path towards Harlyn and the skylark field. It was warm and still and we were able to stand and listen to the skylarks as they soared high in the sky and sang as if they were bursting with enthusiasm for life. If only you could freeze time. As always I had my camera with me, I didn’t have a long enough lens to have a hope of capturing a picture of a skylark, but I did get a rather pleasing picture of a snail – they don’t move quite as fast. Robbie has learned a fair bit about wildlife since we have been together and he is even starting to recognise bird song now.


Another Pet Hate! 30.05.06


We made an early start today and drove to St Merryn to buy pasties and sausage rolls for lunch. Proper locally made Cornish pasties are completely different to those plastic abominations that they sell in supermarkets and garages. The lanes around Trevose Head are extremely narrow so thankfully there are very few Volvos around plenty of much wider vehicles, but Volvo drivers can’t cope with the fear factor so at least we are spared that delight! There are however far too many of another pet hate of mine – golfers! There are a number of golf courses in this part of Cornwall and the road to St Merryn takes us across Trevose Golf course. The golfers behave like snipers and if they miss you with a golf ball they will do their very best to run you off the road with their vehicles. If all else fails they troll along the middle of the road pulling their thingy that holds the clubs. They would make a milk float look dynamic and the urge to mow them down is almost irresistible!

My brother in law, sister in law and niece and nephew came to spend the day with us. They live in Plymouth so we don’t get to see them as often as we would like. Jack is just over a year old and much to Sam’s disappointment he is not quite old enough to be corrupted. Charlotte is six and has Sam well and truly under the thumb, she gets him to do things that he would never do for anyone else. Today he was very relieved to find that like him she is potty about Dr Who so he was spared all the pink Bratz and Barbie stuff. They sat for ages reading Dr Who magazines and discussing their favourite episodes. I think square eyes must run in the family!

We had a good time on the beach, but Robbie fell asleep and I was able to get some very unflattering photos. I threatened to post them on the blog, but maybe it would be too terrifying! The lifeboat went out twice this evening, it is interesting to watch. Robbie likes to see it being dragged back up the ramp when it returns and he stood outside for ages watching all the manoeuvres.

Newquay - The VW Camper Van Capital 29.05.07


Today was much better, a lovely sunny day with very little breeze. I was able to go out and take some photos from the coast path and Sam enjoyed some time on the beach. We could have spent the entire day on the beach, but the children (and Robbie) were bursting to go to Newquay, so at midday we headed off for some serious shopping. Robbie and the girls love the surf fashion and enjoy checking out all the shops. Sam likes all the gift shops and is increasingly interested in fashion as well. I like to visit Newquay, but I am always happy to drive away again after an hour or two. It is a bit too loud and brash for me to want to stay too long. It is a very odd mix really, hotels bursting with geriatrics and a loud clubby town bursting with young people behaving as if they were on an 18-30 holiday. It is good to get back to good old sedate Padstow. The best thing about Newquay as far as I am concerned is the camper vans. It is the capital of the VW camper van; it is absolutely bursting with them. There is something about them that I can’t explain, but I would love to own one.

Sam and Laura bought lifeguard tops, they look quite good. I made an early start on my Christmas shopping and bought my first two presents! Robbie, well what can I say, I simply don’t have the words to express my frustration. Today he struggled to live up to his shoe size nevermind his age! Sometimes I think he does it on purpose, just to enjoy making up again!

Along The Coast Path 28.05.07


It was a much better day today, still windy, but dry and pleasant so we were able to go down to the beach and then later on we went for a walk along the coast path to Harlyn. We know this part of Cornwall very well so we notice every little change; there is a field on the way to Harlyn that is the best place I know for hearing (and seeing) skylarks but this year it has been fenced off. It doesn’t spoil the walk as you can still walk along the coast path and you can still see and hear the skylarks, but it does spoil the look of the coastline.

An Awesome View 27.05.07

The view from our window is awesome we look out over Mother Ivey’s Bay towards Trevose Head and the new lifeboat house for the Padstow lifeboat. Perhaps there are more beautiful places in the world, but there is nowhere I would rather be. Today is wet and windy but it is still beautiful looking out towards Trevose Head and watching the waves break around Merope Rock.

Time is a luxury, today I had nothing to clean or iron and no gardening to do, so I was able to just sit comfortably looking out of the window and listening to the Archers, total luxury! Robbie says that his workmates think he is sad for listening to the Archers, but they don’t know what they are missing. I have been addicted to the Archers since I was 9 (and that is a long time

An Early Start 26.05.07


The demands of GCSE and A Level exams have restricted our holiday in Cornwall to one week this year, so I was determined that we should make the most of our time. I have never enjoyed the ‘pleasures’ of a packed motorway and Bristol is always a black spot as it seem to be the cone storage capital of UK. I decided that we would get everything ready on the Friday, go to bed early and then set off at 2am on Saturday morning.

Everything went more or less according to plan apart from a bit of procrastinating from Robbie in the morning. Believe it or not he had to ring control to check on the progress of his ‘empties’ at 2am! He wanted us to leave a bit later as he calculated that we would then have a chance of seeing one of his trains as we went along the motorway. He got his wish, as we didn’t set out until 3.15 am and I did indeed see a train as we travelled down the motorway, but Robbie (who intended to stay awake to keep an eye on me) was ‘Z’ing by the time we passed Oxford and he dozed all the way to Cornwall, so he missed it. He said it was the wrong train anyway. I also saw a fox cross the whole motorway, but everyone else was asleep and missed it. We had an excellent journey; we arrived at Padstow just after 8am having made one comfort stop on the way. That gave us plenty of time to explore all the shops and to enjoy brunch at one of our favourite restaurants.

Robbie and I headed for the little bookshop that we love, he was very restrained and only bought one book, but I bought two, A Pictorial Survey of Great Western Branch Lines and A Portrait of the Atlantic Coast Express. I was dragged away by Laura and Emily; they had been checking out the designer shops and wanted to ‘show me’ what they had found. They jointly purchased an Animal handbag which they intend to share, but both have their eyes on other clothing as well. Maybe we should have stayed at home! Sam bought a decision dice and a gruesome pen that defies description, but he has his sights on greater things too!

We got to the caravan by mid afternoon, it has been upgraded since last year and it is absolutely beautiful. By the time we were all installed and tidied up and the shopping had been fetched and packed away, I was exhausted. I went bed before Dr Who, leaving the ‘boys’ to enjoy the flat screen LCD TV.

Wednesday 20 February 2008

BACK SOON 25.05.07

There will be no more blog entries until Sunday 3rd June. I will still write for the blog while I am away, but I will not be able to upload it until I get home. My mobile doesn't work in deepest Cornwall!

Pay Attention to Detail 25.05.07

Robbie was jubilant when he got home last night, the cause of his elation was not that he had finished work ready to go on holiday. No, he was overjoyed because he had found some new lounge wear (PJ's) that met with his rigorous specifications - don't ask! Whatever the cause it is always good to have a happy household and he was so cheerful that he willingly cleaned the kitchen while I delivered the guineapig to 'grandmas'.

I believe Robbie's colleagues are in for a very quiet week next week, not only will Robbie be away but the noisy northerner will be away too. Enjoy it! One of my colleagues asked why I don't put much about my work on the blog. Mainly it is because the people that our organisation works with have a variety of needs and many have overcome obstacles that would make the rest of us give up on life, I would never want to appear to laugh at them or to make light of their circumstances. However there are lots of smiles and laughter in our work as well as the other stuff. The story I am going to tell you about happened many years ago so I don't think it will do any harm to write about it.

A young man of about thirty came to ask for help, nothing unusual there, I often advised him on all sorts of things from Housing Benefit claims to food preparation. On this occasion his problem was a little more personal, he had acquired a carpet burn on a part of his anatomy that should not normally crop up in conversation - don't ask. I advised him that his GP was the person to deal with that sort of problem and not me. He persisted, but I was clear that I couldn't advise and he phoned for an appointment. As he could not be seen immediately he said that he thought he would put some cream on it in the meantime and I agreed that it seemed a reasonable thing to do. It was only a few minutes later as he was leaving the office that something made me call him back and ask what sort of cream. His reply - deep heat!!! I rescued him from a fate worse than death by suggesting that Vaseline would be far more suitable!

Men are Better Than Women (Allegedly!!!!!) 23.05.07

I listened to a program on Radio 4 about the differences in the way men and women read maps. The theory being that men read maps by taking a sort of birds eye view approach while women orientate the map to themselves. Maybe that's true, but of the men in my life there are some very interesting strategies going on. My first husband was fairly OK at map reading, but tended not to read the instructions and navigated mainly by instinct, on many occasions this took him miles out of his way. My stepfather has to do a dummy run the day before (he is a belt and braces sort of person!). My brother in law is hopeless and he manages to get lost every time he ventures out of his home town, he can get lost equally easily with or without a map. Laura is an excellent map reader, but Emily still gets lost going to the corner shop and Sam has a very good memory and can remember routes and landmarks very clearly. Robbie can read a map but he has the attention span of a goldfish so he us not an ideal navigator when travelling by car. I tend to plan in advance for unfamiliar journeys, I usually have a look at an online route finder, check to see if it makes sense then print the map and directions, I glance through the directions but I find it easier to work from the map.

On the radio program a man and a woman were set a task to navigate from A to B in Milton Keynes. I have got lost there more than once because everything looks the same, there are few landmarks, but my first husband thought that it was simplicity itself to find his way around Milton Keynes, he liked the straight lines and the symmetry so I guess that indicates a different thought process. I had to pick Emily and her friend up from Milton Keynes after a concert, the police had made everyone walk away from the concert venue to be picked up. I asked Emily to describe the landmarks so that I could find her - she said she was standing next to a tree near a roundabout, it was like looking for a needle in a haystack!

The radio program repeated the old joke explaining that men have to produce millions of sperm per 'go' for just one to have a chance of reaching the target - because none of them are willing to ask for directions! Now that is true, men don't read instructions and they don't ask for directions.

Feeling Sick 22.05.07

The other day I noticed a billboard advertising Volvo. I must confess to a passionate dislike of Volvo drivers but the new advert left me mystified. It has a picture of a white volvo in the middle with a superior sort of stick man on one side looking happy and wearing a top hat, on the other side of the car a similar stick man seems to be vomiting. I can't imagine who dreamed up the idea that a stick man vomiting would sell Volvos - or am I missing something?

A Walk on the Wild Side 21.05.07

I didn't see much of Robbie over the weekend, he spent Saturday on the wild side - in Walsall, and then on Sunday he went off to a gig in Birmingham in the evening and didn't get back until it was way past my bedtime. Then this morning all he could manage to talk about was chaos created by Central Trains cancelling services left, right and centre yesterday. Oddly enough at 6am I can't summon up too much interest in the disgraceful behaviour of Central Trains, in fact the only thing that interests me at that time is my first cup of tea of the day!
I couldn't even get away from railway news at work. I switched Radio 4 on just in time to hear Christian Wolmar pronounce that South West Trains decision to redefine peak times as contrary to common sense. It seems that peak time now extends to noon. I'm sure they keep that man in a cupboard on charge so that whenever the world railway is mentioned they can wheel him out to state the blindingly obvious!

This evening Robbie is sitting in the corner emitting strange tinny sounds - he is listening to Blood Red Shoes with his headphones on. I don't mind too much as long as he doesn't start to sing along! In fact I could do with some headphones myself, I have been bombarded with mind boggling questions this weekend. Sam tried to explain to me about the ageing effect of space travel, but it made my brain hurt. He said that if there were identical twins and one went into space while the other stayed behind, one would end up older than the other. Having thought about it, he must be right, I saw William Shatner on TV not so long ago and all that space travel has clearly taken its toll on him!

Air Conditioning 19.05.07

Robbie has just come home from the gig, full of enthusiasm and claiming that it was a really good evening. The odd thing is that he saw 4 groups but all he could talk about was the incredible air conditioning. He went on and on about it until I begged him to be quiet!

Piece and Quiet 17.05.07

I was in trouble tonight for telling Robbie to shut up. I can usually manage not to resort to such drastic measures, but today it just slipped out in an unguarded moment. I have mentioned before that Robbie takes the Fred Elliott approach to conversation, he tells you everything at least twice and if you cultivate a deaf ear he just gets louder! Sometimes he also suffers from 'Jim Trott Syndrome' (Vicar of Dibley) he spends half an hour appearing to say one thing and ends up saying another. I instantly felt guilty for being sharp with him and he compounded the guilty feelings later in the evening when he spent ages cleaning my car out ready for it's mot tomorrow.

He's off to a gig tomorrow evening to see The Rumble Strips, Pull Tiger Tail, The Little Ones and Blood Red Shoes. Whatever floats his boat I suppose, but I will enjoy the peace and quiet - while it lasts!

Time Traveller 15.05.07

Well, I have more evidence that Robbie is losing touch with reality. At the weekend when I was feeling unwell he was very attentive, making sure tat I had frequent cups of tea, etc. He could see that I needed cheering up so he brought me his latest treasure to look at - a 1966 Rugby to Euston timetable. I suppose if I ever work out how to travel back in time I will at least know when to expect the next train!

This evening, having promised me his undivided attention he was busy chatting online to one of his colleagues about Volume 3 of LMS Coaching Stock - scintillating!

Look at this 15.05.07

Have a look at this blog, there are some amazing photos. Kiyran is one of my favourite youtube contributers and he sent me the link to his blog this evening. It is certainly worth a look.

http://journals.aol.co.uk/kiyranb/railarchive/

The Wow Factor 15.05.07

Well it had to be done this year, as it didn't happen last year....... yes you guessed it, I decided to buy some new spectacle frames and what a challenge it was! You see, its not very easy as the frames I am currently wearing are so ME and rather WACKY, and I love them soooo much! After I had my eye test I went to have a look at some new frames, I was like a kid in a sweet shop. It turned out to be a great challenge as I would only buy some new frames If they had the 'ROBBIE' factor. In the end with some assistance from the receptionist lady I fell head-over-heels for some rather WOW frames. To look at them from the front they are very similar to mu current pair, but have a look inside the frames and OH WOW!!!!! I won't give them game away and describe them in detail to you..... you will just have to wait and see them for your self....

(Comment from C.) He was so excited about them when he got home. He said that the inside of the frames have a distressed look, I don't know about the frames, but I certainly had a distressed look when he told me how much they cost!!

Rant of the Week 14.05.07

Everyone needs to have a rant from time to time, Robbie has turned ranting into a performance art and he is able to speak eloquently on any given subject from the correct proportions of a gingernut biscuit to the failings of Network Rail. Compared to David my stepfather, Robbie is a mere amateur. David's favourite themes include the inadequacy of football referees, the appalling standards of driving these days and the reintroduction of national service to instil some discipline among the youth of today. I know most of his themes by heart and when he gets going it takes considerable effort to hide my gentle amusement. He surprised me last week with a brand new theme. I commented that he was looking tired and he said tat he was getting no sleep and if someone didn't do something about his problem soon he didn't know what he would do. I braced myself, it sounded as if we were dangerously close to another informative lecture on painful piles - but I was wrong! Apparently he has been driven almost to distraction by peacocks. Three have set up home in his village and they seem to have chosen his roof as their base. The male of the species may be attractive to look at buy the noise the make is more grating than the noise of fingernails dragged over a blackboard. For such an elegant looking bird they are incredibly heavy footed and with three of them patrolling around the roof it sounded as if they were the size of ostriches. Not exactly conducive to a good nights sleep. He has tried everything he can think of to chase them away, but they keep coming back! I thought about getting Robbie to sing to them, but as mum and David have neighbours we dare not risk it! Any ideas?

My personal rant of the week concerns learner drivers. I don't have anything against them personally, we all have to learn but the thoughtless behaviour of the instructors really gets me going. Surely they don't have to go around in packs. There were three in front of me at the traffic lights on Friday and surprise surprise the lights changed four times before I was able to get across. Having escaped those three I encountered two more, that makes 5 in a 2 mile journey, ridiculous! Worse still it was rush hour and two or three of them seemed to be at the second or third lesson stage. If I was Prime Minister I would legislate to force instructors to be confident of their pupil's ability before taking them out at busy times. After all Tony Blair has spent 10 years building a 'nanny state' so a law against idiots is a logical next move! On the subject of Prime Ministers I have been giving some thought to the next incumbent of Number 10 and since it is not much fun contemplating Gordon Brown, my thoughts strayed to who I would choose if I could nominate someone. I ruled out politicians for the reasons mentioned in a previous post. In the end it seemed an obvious choice - Billy Conolly! He calls a spade a spade, he is genuinely interested in people, he sees the little details, but he good at seeing the bigger picture too and as an added bonus he is quite cute. Can you imagine what he would say to the EU when they wanted straight bananas, or whatever their latest crackpot scheme happened to be! He would be the coolest Prime Minister.

Secret Pleasures 12.05.07

One of my pleasures on a Saturday lunchtime is to hide away with my radio and listen to The News Quiz on Radio 4. Today it was even better than usual, who else could make the French election sound even vaguely entertaining! I was laughing until it hurt. There is a listen again facility on the Radio 4 home page, why not take half an hour off from thinking about railways.

Why does he have to be quite so unique!! 12.05.07

The 'Random Robbie' for this weekend was good even by his standards. Usual thing, wrong time, wrong place and Robbie paused briefly to grasp a passing thought. He said "you know what you don't see around these days?" I didn't answer, but resistance was futile and he meandered on "I'm not sure if the prefix was 7 or 9 ....... (brief pause) no, it was 9, they used 6 and 7 for school buses". By this time I had given up hope and taken up knitting!

A little later he had realised that talking about buses while enjoying some quiet time with his wife on a Saturday morning was not really the way to win friends and influence people. He cuddled up and gave me his undivided attention - briefly! Then we got the second quote of the day "Did you know that they have 2000% inflation in Zimbabwe?" Yes, I knew they were in a bad way, but he really does choose his moments to choose to discuss world politics!

A bit later in the morning I was talking about something important and he appeared to be listening, he gave himself away by interrupting me mid sentence to tell me about a terrible nightmare that he had last night. The cause of this nocturnal angst - he dreamed that his new Dr Marten boots had fallen apart!

Why does he have to be quite so unique!!

The Long Goodbye 11.05.07

Well, the long awaited announcement finally came yesterday and it's official - he's going. Surely this must have been the longest goodbye in history! I am talking about Tony Blair, just in case you were not keeping up. His election didn't fill me with unbounded joy and his departure hasn't provoked any great excitement from my point of view. I'm glad he's going, at least we won't have to deal with that insincere grin anymore, but I can't summon up much enthusiasm when all we can look forward to is more of the same or something equally bad.

It seems to me that anyone who willingly seeks public office is probably unsuitable, why would anyone want to? On the other hand if nobody did it we would be in a worse mess - or would we! I went to a County Council meeting once, it was nerve-racking as I had to speak to the meeting in connection with my responsibility as a school governor. I made sure I was dressed smartly for the meeting in order to create a good impression, but I was astounded when I met the counsellors. I had never seen so many weirdoes and misfits in one room before! Two or three had clearly escaped from a home for the bewildered, a number had obviously made contemplating their own navels a career choice, several appeared to be classic examples of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and almost all of them were casual to the point of being downright scruffy, in fact not to put to finer point on it a couple of them could have done with a bath! And we wonder why local government is in a mess!

Anyway back to Blair. His announcement seems to have sparked the media to embark on endless reviews of the last 10 years. Hours and hours of rambling on about what he will be remembered for. Personally I don't think history will be kind to him, I think that he will be remembered for Iraq and for spin. We mustn't forget 'Two Jags John' he is on his way out too. He has one distinct advantage over Blair, he's real! I can't quite bring myself to dislike him, at least what you see is what you get. So what will he be remembered for - services to the English language of course!

This insistence on reviewing the career of Blair and Prescott really has gone too far. Since yesterday Radio 4 has found it necessary to remind me of John Prescott's affair on 3 separate broadcasts - no wonder I am off my food! I guess it is a remarkable achievement in one sense, it is surprising that one woman should have found him attractive, but two is truly incredible! So far there has been no suggestion that Tony Blair has 'strayed' but I think most of us would find it understandable if he did!! Sometimes we don't find out about such things until years later and very occasionally it reveals an aspect of their character that we could not have imagined. John Major for example, his dalliance with Edwina must have required intestinal fortitude (to borrow a phrase from Fred Flintstone). If he could tackle that surely he could conquer the world!

Just one last word on the subject of spin. Robbie has a very annoying phrase, it drives me mad but I haven't managed to stop him saying it. When he tells me about his day (he always tells me in great detail!) he will say 'Fudge turned round and said ......' or ' I spoke to network rail and they turned round and said ......' I imagine the entire railway industry spinning like Whirling Dervishes. No wonder there is no joined up thinking, they must all be too dizzy to think straight!!

Robbie being boring 11.05.07

Its been an evening of discovery tonight, as I found an amazing article on MPV's on www.ontrackplant.com, no not the MPV's you see the mothers doing the school run's in, but they are railway Multi Purpose Vehicles. They are an amazingly versatile two car multiple units that can be adapted to a variety of concepts from railhead cleaning to weed killing. There are both GEISMAR and WINDHOFF MPV in the UK but the GEISMAR MPV's are few and far between as they were an early batch. The Windhoff MPV's are the mainstay of the MPV market with both units that were built to work with OHLE maintenance and others that where built for Track Treatment use. The below link gives you a good idea of numbering and formations of the Windhoff's and the link after that is for pictures of these

http://www.ontrackplant.com/technical/mpv

http://www.ontrackplant.com/thumbs.php?class=wh_mpv

Victory at Last 10.05.07

This should be a day that goes down in history, finally the wilful determination of the British people to think in English has forced the EU to back down! It was announced today that we will not be forced to weigh loose goods in 'foreign nonsense' and we can continue to display prices in Imperial measurements as well as metric.
I began my education at a time of change. I remember the change to decimal currency and the confusion it created for many adults. I learned to manage money in both imperial and decimal with no problems at all, but even at my tender age I recognised that the change of currency was a license to inflate prices!
Length and weight simply has to be measured the English in order to make sense. Just as my grandma used to convert all the prices back to old money in her head, I have to perform mental gymnastics to work out what a metre or a litre is in 'old money'. I can visualise a pint or a foot, I have some idea how heavy an ounce or a pound is but I can't cope with the new weights and measures as it means nothing to me. Imagine popping to the pub for a quick 'half litre', its nonsense! The only possible use I have found for kilograms is when I have to be weighed - it prevents me dying from shock because I have no idea what it means!!
I have no problem with what other countries choose to do in the privacy of their own borders, but when they start telling us how to think it brings our my stubborn side and it seems I'm not the only one! Nobody, not even a Brussels bureaucrat can overcome the determination of the British people.

taking the biscuit 08.05.07

ginger nuts..its a SERIOUS thing.......!!

You know its the simple things in life that cause so much hurt and upset, and there is one thing that I can't abide is that I can't always get PROPER Ginger Nut biscuits. About 18 months ago McVities decided to change the size of their biscuits packets apart from Ginger Nuts, and just because Ginger Nuts were not repacked into the smaller packaging (unlike most other varieties of McVities biscuits), Tesco thought 'I know, we'll stop selling McVities Ginger Nuts because they now don't fit properly on the shelf like the other newly packaged McVities biscuits, so now we will just offer customers our own brand instead'.what a mistake they were making! It all seems ok now as I have my 'biscuit website' to keep me up to date with inside information....as a treat I'll put a link at the end of this article so you can all have a look at your leisure....!

http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/

and yet another real treat.....hehe..

http://www.teasmade.com/

.................08.05.07

what a strange day today.....you know I must have been through Long Buckby Railway Station 100's of times now, but I only just realised this morning that there is no disabled access anywhere from the ground to the platforms. I know some people would say oh well, its only a small station between Rugby and Northampton but that's not the point. Why is it that the DFT enforced the modifications to CIS displays on ALL class 458 units just because they where 3 mm short of the DDA rules, but they have not enforced Silverlink to make modifications to the station to ensure the station is DDA compliant?? Its just another indication of how perverse this country is getting ....on the note I will leave you all in peace...

Playing Chicken 08.05.07

We had to make an emergency dash to our local retail park to buy sawdust for Shadow (Sam's Guinea Pig). The streets were quiet with that unreal bank holiday feeling until we got to the retail park and found that the entire town had decided to go shopping! It was hard to find a parking space especially one big enough for a Galaxy, but at last I found one. As I drew into the space Sam and Laura shouted at me to stop. The space was occupied - by two suicidal ducks! I edged forward and they stayed put, I revved the engine and they ignored me, the children shouted out of the window at them, but they didn't notice us. finally Sam had to get out and chase them away. I think they must be providing holiday cover for the suicidal pheasants who annoy me by playing 'chicken' as I drive to and from work. Ducks certainly have more style, pheasants are the most stupid creatures.

Multi-tasking 06.05.07

I am recovering from an ironing marathon. Knowing Robbie's passion for detail I will be a little more precise about the ironing, 22 shirts, 7 pairs of trousers, 43 tops and T shirts and a selection of unmentionable sundries. It is a brilliant feeling to clear the ironing pile despite the certain knowledge that there will be more waiting for me by tomorrow evening. Our tumble drier has broken, it made some clunky noises, then it started to sound as if there was a guinea pig trapped inside and now it is all noise and no action (must be male!) it doesn't go round and it gets too hot. I hate that machine, it less than 18 months old and we have had the man out to mend it so often that the neighbours started asking questions. I will never buy another Indesit product and I will never bother with a condenser dryer again - far too much trouble!

Robbie made a little mistake today (please note this because it is very rare to get an admission of this sort!). He is getting very good a cooking and he was cooking Sunday lunch. He lit the oven and made a prompt start on the meal, everything was going well until considerably later when he realised that he had left the meat on the worktop and he had been heating an empty oven for an hour or so! To be fair he had been busy working on the garden as well as cooking so I can see why he didn't notice what he had done. Never mind, it was well worth the wait, it was a lovely lunch.

I finally managed to get Robbie's attention this evening - I found him an online map showing the route of an old railway line. Better still the map proved that I had been correct in my theory about the route the line had followed, Robbie was determined that it couldn't possibly have gone that way! Sherlock Burgess is determined to walk around the area looking for any surviving trace of the old railway, so that should keep him out of mischief for a day or two.

Multi-tasking 06.05.07

I am recovering from an ironing marathon. Knowing Robbie's passion for detail I will be a little more precise about the ironing, 22 shirts, 7 pairs of trousers, 43 tops and T shirts and a selection of unmentionable sundries. It is a brilliant feeling to clear the ironing pile despite the certain knowledge that there will be more waiting for me by tomorrow evening. Our tumble drier has broken, it made some clunky noises, then it started to sound as if there was a guinea pig trapped inside and now it is all noise and no action (must be male!) it doesn't go round and it gets too hot. I hate that machine, it less than 18 months old and we have had the man out to mend it so often that the neighbours started asking questions. I will never buy another Indesit product and I will never bother with a condenser dryer again - far too much trouble!
Robbie made a little mistake today (please note this because it is very rare to get an admission of this sort!). He is getting very good a cooking and he was cooking Sunday lunch. He lit the oven and made a prompt start on the meal, everything was going well until considerably later when he realised that he had left the meat on the worktop and he had been heating an empty oven for an hour or so! To be fair he had been busy working on the garden as well as cooking so I can see why he didn't notice what he had done. Never mind, it was well worth the wait, it was a lovely lunch.

I finally managed to get Robbie's attention this evening - I found him an online map showing the route of an old railway line. Better still the map proved that I had been correct in my theory about the route the line had followed, Robbie was determined that it couldn't possibly have gone that way! Sherlock Burgess is determined to walk around the area looking for any surviving trace of the old railway, so that should keep him out of mischief for a day or two.

He's At It Again! 05.05.07


Robbie never learns, he has been up to his old tricks again. Saturday morning, still in bed, totally the wrong moment and Robbie chooses to inform me that there are a number of engineering possessions planned for the bank holiday weekend! My dangerous expression prevented him listing all the locations and diversion arrangements. I was unable to distract him from thoughts of the railway for very long. A short time later he told me that he had brought an old Bradshaws and it showed that at one time you could approach North Walsham station by rail from 4 directions. I can't imagine how I have managed to struggle through life without knowing that!! Oh well, they say if you cant beat 'em join 'em, so I curled up with the Hornby catalogue.

A Personal Choice 05.05.07

Do you remember the deal I struck with Robbie to allow him to go to the diesel gala. He completed the first part of the bargain on Thursday and he has another week to complete part two. Thursday was an interesting day, I took Emily to vote for the first time. Listening to her talk about the experiences of her friends (other first time voters) I realised that with all the heavy handed government control of education, they have missed the basics. Nobody has ever explained to them how to vote, I don't mean who to vote for, I mean the process of going to put your cross on a ballot paper. Consequently the vast majority of her friends didn't vote, and of the couple who did, one spoiled her paper and one accidentally voted for the wrong party (because she didn't think that you were allowed to vote for 2 counsellors from the same party!). The right of every adult to have a vote was something our ancestors fought for and it is terribly sad that so many people do not bother to vote. From my point of view, I always seem to end up worse off whoever wins, but that's another story!

Decisions! 04.05.07


Robbie was rushing around in a state of undress this morning when he should have already left the house. Apparently he had got up at the correct time, but had delayed himself by attending to an urgent email. Anyway, he came back to the bedroom shirtless claiming that he was looking for a shirt to iron. I pointed out that there were a number of ironed shirts already in the wardrobe and there was another ironed shirt still hanging up downstairs. He had a cursory look in the wardrobe and said "yes, but there are none that I want to wear" He defeats me, where is the logic in that? If he really has a wardrobe full of clothes that he doesn't use, he will have to watch out because I will be up there with a binbag!

Depressed 02.05.07

It may surprise you to read that Robbie can be challenging to live with at times, there again perhaps that doesn't surprise you! Usually I am able to smile indulgently, sometimes I have steam coming out of my ears and almost every day I feel totally exhausted, but on Saturday he managed to make me feel deeply depressed. The reason for the despondency was his school photo. He brought out this old fashioned rolled up photo and there he was, a cute little boy with knobbly knees sitting cross legged in the front row. He was 5 and he already possessed that stubbornly determined look that we all know so well. I expect you are wondering what I found so depressing about that, just a minor point, that was taken the year before I left school! Whoever said a 'toyboy' makes you feel young - they lied!

Clothes - Or Not! 02.05.07

Robbie got a new pair of Dr Marten boots and wore them to work for the first time yesterday. I have never met anyone quite so obsessed with shoes before. It is lovely to see someone so excited about a pair of shoes, but it is a little exhausting when they crop up in every sentence!

I have to move from the subject of shoes to the subject of clothes - or lack of them. During the evening I was busy with some work notes and Robbie wanted to watch How to Look Good Naked. I hadn't seen it before and I became quite alarmed when Robbie and Sam sat there discussing the ideal shape for a woman. I took a bit more notice of the program and realised that it involved taking photos of people in their underwear and posting huge posters of them in the street for all to see. When the person is confident with their natural shape they are photographed naked. I hope Robbie doesn't get any ideas, the world is not ready for pictures of him in his underwear let alone naked! Perhaps they could make a program to encourage him to put more clothes on!

his personal ramblings..... 02.05.07

well....what a mad day its been! I was on the 06.35 this morning and although its only 25 minutes earlier, its a DIFFERENT journey in itself as there are a number of people who just find a seat, get comfy and snooze until New Street. The thing I also like about the 06.35 is that it runs fast (not stopping at intermediate stations between Coventry & Birmingham International), which is great in some respects, but not in others not. I love 'people watching', always have really, weird I know, but hey that's just me.....( no sniggering Richard.......)lol... I find fascinating watching people from all walks of life and seeing how they behave. You know, it makes feel quite normal to watch other people..! Anyway I digress, the 06.35 train has no school kids and no bikes either, now that's a REAL joy. I had never really observed bikes on commuter trains before until I relocated to Northampton as its not the sought of thing you see on a Hednesford - Birmingham New Street F&S spinter....lol..They seem to be bike mad down hear.....fold ups, bmx's and even big whopping mountain bikes..oh well I shouldn't moan too much I always normally get a seat! And on that note, I'm off to bed..........

Saturday 16 February 2008

Horses by Rail 29.04.07

Guess what we were doing in bed this morning? It's OK Richard, this is quite safe to read. We were finding out about the history of horse transport by rail. I had stolen Robbie's Model Rail magazine, because there was a long article about horse boxes and horse transport by rail. I like Model Rail because you can learn loads that perhaps wouldn't get a mention elsewhere, but it matters to modellers because they want to be as accurate as possible. I was surprised to find that horseboxes were usually incorporated into passenger services rather than freight services, where they would be positioned at the head of the train next to the engine. If four or more horseboxes were required a special could be run with just horseboxes and a passenger brake.

I was quite surprised at the extent of horse traffic on the railways. I had thought of the Race traffic, but there was also military movements, hunt specials, theatrical specials and general traffic. My favourite film from the British Transport Film Collection is Farmer Moving South because I love the way the special train is made up, I could watch that film over and over again!

When 'Sleeping Beauty' woke up and realised he wasn't going to be able to wrestle his magazine from me until I had read it from cover to cover he decided to distract me with other book's. Out came a book of plans, it was A Pictorial Record of Great Western Coaches (part 2) to be precise. It was really interesting with line drawings showing the layout of the horseboxes, there was even a specially strengthened version for Elephants! In the end Robbie gave up and plodded of to make a cup of tea because I wouldn't relinquish the magazine and I had swiped the book as well.

It isn't often that Robbie is unable to answer a question, but when I asked him what a clerestory carriage was he just showed me some pictures. I had to search the internet to find that it is a passenger vehicle incorporating a raised central roof portion in order to enhance headroom, lighting and ventilation. On the subject of questions I was looking at Class 20's this morning; why are they so weird? Nose first it looks like an alien and cab end first it looks really scary. I certainly wouldn't want to meet that on a dark night!

On the subject of dark nights, I had the strangest dream about Robbie last night. In my dream he arrived in the cab of a train and jumped out and killed an alligator in Morrison's car park. Oddly enough they do have a bit of a drainage problem in the car park, but I have absolutely no idea why I should have been thinking about Alligators! Anyway Robbie would have run a mile, he is even scared of the guinea pig.